Upside Down Inside Out (37 page)

Lainey knew about the message? ‘Yes, she did. But I didn’t get them.’

‘You didn’t get her message?’

‘No, not exactly. I know she left one but I didn’t hear it. It’s a long story. All I can tell you is that she rang nearly three weeks ago and I haven’t heard from her since. Is she all right?’

‘Is she all right?’ Lainey repeated. ‘Uhm, yes, she’s fine.’ Her voice sounded calm but her mind was working at a million miles an hour, trying to take all this in. Joe was still calling her Niamh, not Eva, so he couldn’t have heard her message. Or her phone numbers. Which explained why he hadn’t rung her back. But he’d obviously been trying to find her. This call was proof of that. So he was obviously still keen. That was a good thing.

But the bad thing? The bad thing was that he still didn’t know the truth about Eva, even though Eva had tried to tell him. This was tricky, all right, Lainey thought. Then again, she did specialise in sorting out tricky situations.

But was this one her situation to sort out? It was in a way, she decided firmly. She was the one who

had started this whole Niamh mess, so she had every right to clean it up, didn’t she? She made her decision. ‘Joe, are you sitting down? Good. I’ve got quite a lot to tell you.’

Eva walked down Camden Street on her way to work, thinking over the night before, her first singing gig in four years.

After just the first few songs, she’d known the session in the city-centre pub was going to be a good one. She’d forgotten the way it could happen so unexpectedly. It took a particular combination of things - the right mix of people in the audience, the right mood in the air. All of the singers and musicians coming together, watertight with their harmonies, fluent with their melodies, guessing what the other was about to do at the split second they did it. Last night had definitely been one of those nights. The band had played Irish reels and jigs, ballads and modern songs, switching from one to the other, the crowd joining in with Eva and Lorna, the other singer.

She’d been nervous at first, glad the stagelights meant she couldn’t see out into the audience. But the

crowd had been enthusiastic from the start. She’d sung a solo, a long traditional song that she’d known since childhood, starting with slow sad notes and ending in a fast, sweet tumbling tune. There’d been loud applause at the end.

A voice broke into her thoughts. ‘Morning, Eva, love.’

Eva turned to the woman setting up her fruit and vegetable stall. ‘Hi, Brenda.’

‘Howya, gorgeous.’

‘Hi, Sean,’ Eva called over. ‘How’s my favourite fourteen-year-old ?’

‘Pining for you.’

She shook her head at him as she walked into the delicatessen. You see, Eva, she told herself. You can have a normal life again. It’ll just take time. ‘Morning,’ she called.

Ambrose poked his head from behind the new partition. ‘Good morning, Eva, how are you this lovely day?’

‘Grand, thanks.’ He seemed very bright this morning. She put her coat in the temporary storeroom and glanced over at the cafe area at the back of the shop. It was really coming together. It had been a good idea of Ambrose’s to open the delicatessen again, even before the cafe was ready. Customers were looking at the menu Meg had drawn up, promising to come and have lunch once everything was up and running in a few weeks’ time.

Ambrose came over, ‘We’ve had a phone order I this morning, I wonder if you could look after it for I me?’ ‘Of course,’ she said, going behind the counter, ‘Who’s it for?’ ‘A new customer, actually. It’s a picnic lunch for two people.’ Eva started putting the order together. Three kinds of cheese, she decided. Olives, crusty bread, ham, a selection of the handmade chocolates … ‘Morning, Evie,’ Meg called over as she came downstairs. ‘Hi, Meg.’ She was all smiles too, Eva noticed. What had got into the pair of them this morning? Meg peered into the cardboard box Eva had taken out. ‘Oh, is that for that picnic order? Maybe we could offer picnic baskets as part of Ambrosia’s service, Evie. Especially in the summertime, what do you think?’ ‘I think it’s a great idea.’ The delicatessen was packed with food perfect for a picnic. All they’d need to do was get some nice little baskets, some serviettes - it could work very well. The memory of the picnic she and Joe had shared that day in the hotel room flashed into her mind. Is this what it would be like from now on? Little things reminding her of him all the time? The day before, she’d seen a tall, dark-haired man in the street and her heart had leapt. Then he’d turned and she’d

realised he was nothing like Joe. She’d been glad and disappointed all at once.

The phone rang. ‘I’ve got it,’ Ambrose called. Eva could just hear his voice. ‘Lainey, how are you? Still having that good weather Eva was telling us about? Good, good, yes, she’s right here, hold on a moment.’

He held out the phone to her. Eva put the box down and came over, puzzled. Lainey rarely rang her at work. And they’d spoken only two days before. ‘Lainey? Is everything all right?’

‘Everything is brilliant, Evie. But I need to tell you something, and you’re probably going to be cross. So before I tell you I just want you to know that everything I said was with your wellbeing in mind and that our friendship is very, very important to me, okay?’

‘Lainey, what on earth are you talking about? Have you been drinking?’

‘Not a drop. But I have been talking. To Joe.’

‘To Joe?’

‘He rang my house the day before yesterday.’

‘What? Where is he, Lainey? Why hasn’t he rung me?’

‘He didn’t ever get your message. The one you left him, explaining everything. The one with all your phone numbers.’

‘He didn’t hear any of it?’

‘His mother accidentally erased it or something, it’s a long story, apparently. But it doesn’t matter. The point is, he hadn’t heard your numbers so he couldn’t

ring you. And he knew you were waiting to hear from him but he couldn’t get in contact with you. He’s been trying to find you for days and days.’

‘How is he? Is he all right? How is his grandmother?’ ‘He doesn’t actually have a sick grandmother.’

‘He doesn’t?’

‘That wasn’t true. He had to go back to London suddenly because of the business problems. It’s all a bit complicated. But he didn’t ring me to tell me about his grandmother, he rang to talk about you. And I’m sorry, Evie, I hope you don’t mind, but I told him everything. About Niamh. About the dinner party. How it all started. How we made it all up just as a laugh. And that you’d been trying to tell him the truth for a long time. I also told him that you’d seen the website, that you knew the truth about him as well.’

‘You told him all of that? Oh, Lainey ‘

‘I know, I know I promised not to interfere ever again. But he was so concerned, Evie, and I just felt he had to know everything. And I felt bad because it was my fault in a way that all of this happened, and I wanted to do anything I could to put it right. I hope you’re not mad, are you?’

Eva wasn’t mad at all. She was just so relieved that Joe had been trying to contact her, that he still wanted to talk to her. She wanted to talk to him. Now. She spoke quickly. ‘Of course I’m not mad. I’ll

ring him now, is he at home or at work, do you know?’

‘He doesn’t want you to ring him.’

‘He doesn’t?’

‘He wants to see you. Talk to you face to face.’

‘Face to face? Where is he? Is he in Dublin?’ Her pulse quickened.

‘I don’t know where he is. All I know is he asked me not to phone you until today. He said he had to get organised.’

‘Get what organised?’

‘I don’t know, I’m keeping right out of it from now on. I just wanted to ring and wish you luck. And just remember what a lovely woman you are. And what a good man he is. And how perfect you are together. My child, I give you my blessing.’

Eva laughed. ‘Lainey, what are -‘ It was too late. Lainey had hung up.

Ambrose walked past. ‘Everything all right, Evie?’

It was better than all right. Joe wanted to see her again. Face to face. Oh God, was he about to walk into the shop? What did she look like?

‘Everything’s fine, Ambrose. I’ll be back in just a minute.’ She nearly ran to the little bathroom to look in the mirror. Her hair was back in the plait, a few stray strands coming loose already. She tucked them away, fumbled for her lipstick and quickly reapplied it. Did she look tired? She hadn’t had that late a night, she’d been home by midnight. But what about

her clothes? The white shirt and black skirt? They weren’t the sort of clothes he’d seen her in ini Australia. Did she have time to go home and change?! No, what if he came into the shop while she was! gone?

She heard the faint sound of the front doorbell ringing and her heart leapt. Was it him? She peered around the door. No, it was another customer. Meg was dealing with her, chattering away about the cafe. Eva took a last glance in the mirror then came I back into the shop. ‘You’re looking very well,’ Ambrose said surprisingly.

‘Am I? Thanks, Ambrose.’ Was it just her imagination or was he behaving a little oddly today?

The doorbell rang again. A short, red-haired man came in.

Eva went in behind the counter. ‘Good morning, can I help you?’

‘Good morning. I’m here about that picnic order.’

She picked up the container. ‘Here it is. All ready to go.’

‘Are you Miss Kennedy?’

Eva nodded.

‘Do you want to bring a jacket or anything? The wind is fierce this morning.’

‘Pardon me?’

‘You should bring your jacket, it’s cold out there.’

‘But I’m not going out.’

‘Yes, you are. That’s what I was told, anyway. Go to the delicatessen on Camden Street, pick up the picnic basket and Miss Kennedy. Oh, and give you this. Sorry, I forgot.’

Eva took the envelope the man was holding. With shaking hands she opened it and read the words, written in firm black handwriting. ‘Please come. Joe.’

‘You need the day off, Evie, do you?’ Ambrose had come up behind her.

She spun around. ‘You know about this?’

‘Just a little. Enough to know you need the day off.’

‘You’ve been talking to Joe too?’

‘That would be telling, Evie. Now, off you go. You don’t want to be late.’

‘Late for what?’

He smiled. ‘Oh, I can’t really say for sure.’

‘But I can’t leave you here.’

‘Meg and I can handle the shop between us. It’ll do you good to get out in the fresh air.’

Eva looked from Meg to Ambrose. They were both smiling at her. ‘Where am I going?’

‘If you leave, you’ll find out,’ Ambrose said. ‘Goodbye now.’

She picked up her bag and coat and the box of picnic food and followed the taxi driver outside. His car was double-parked.

Sean was leaning against the railing, looking on with interest. ‘Evie, where are you off to?’

‘I haven’t a clue, Sean,’ she answered honestly. She got into the front seat and waved to Ambrose and Meg in the doorway. As the car moved into the traffic, she turned to the driver. ‘Do you know where I’m going?’

‘I know where I’m taking you. I don’t know where you’re going from there.’

They drove down Camden Street and on towards Dame Street, then left along the quays. Where was Joe waiting? In the Phoenix Park? At her house in Stoneybatter? Then she realised. ‘We’re going to Heuston station, aren’t we?’

‘That’s it.’

‘What do I do when I get there?’

‘It’s a railway station - perhaps you could catch a train somewhere.’ He grinned at her.

Eva felt the beginnings of excitement rise in her as the taxi pulled up at the station. She opened the door, getting a scent of malt from the Guinness brewery nearby.

‘Don’t worry about paying me, that’s all been looked after. And your ticket’s waiting at the booking office,’ the driver said matter-of-factly. ‘Have a nice journey.’

Journey to where? she wondered. She knew there was no point asking the driver. Everyone seemed to have signed a code of secrecy today.

She went into the station and looked up at the destination board. Cork. Limerick. Ennis. Tralee.

Waterford. Westport. Ballina. And Galway. She started to smile. She was right. Her ticket to Galway was waiting at the booking office. The train was leaving in fifteen minutes.

She walked the length of the platform, then climbed into the first carriage and found a window seat. She was still clutching the box of food. As the seats around her slowly filled, she thought back to the last time she’d been on a train. With Joe. She’d been blocking all of those memories, becoming more and more sure that he wasn’t going to ring, that it was all over between them before it had properly begun. But now she allowed a glimmer of hope to rise inside her. Please come, he’d written.

She leaned her head back and shut her eyes as the train slowly pulled out of the station. It was a three hour trip, straight across the country. The noise of the wheels on the track brought back more memories. She thought of meeting him at the party. The conversation at the taxi rank. The penguins at Phillip Island. Dancing in the pub. Working together at Four Quarters. Meeting Lewis. The day in the hotel room. It had all happened so quickly between them. But holiday time wasn’t like normal time. It had a different quality to it. She gazed out the window as the houses gave way to green fields, interrupted occasionally by small towns, lakes, woods. The sky was heavy with clouds. She was looking out at Ireland but her thoughts were in Australia.

She had a rush of panic as she thought of the whole Niamh pretence. How could she even think about the future when their entire past together, so brief but intense, was built on a foundation of lies? That was no way to start a relationship, was it? She wished she could put all her doubts at bay, have confidence, know for sure that everything would be all right. But she didn’t have that certainty.

No one does. The voice again.

Yes, they do. Most people know exactly what they’re doing. I’m one of the odd ones out.

No, you’re not. Everyone feels uncertain. Some people are just better at hiding it than others. You just have to learn to trust your own instincts. Believe in yourself. And trust and believe in other people too.