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“Any time.” He left, and I headed for his bathroom, shutting the door quietly behind me because I knew I was going to cry.

Chapter 22

Iggy

The announcement for lunch sounded, but there was no way I was going to show up with puffy eyes and a red nose. Instead, I hugged my knees to my chest in the corner of Ibram’s bathroom and tried to make sense of how Cael and Wesley thought reading my files could help me. The only thing that would come of this new knowledge would be Cael knowing all of the horrific things I’d done and all the embarrassing things that had happened to me. He’d see a side of me he’d never known. The girl in those files wasn’t the girl he knew on the farm or the one who’d helped him find his parents. He would realize how infected and evil I was, and he would begin to hate me. He would begin to think that I would actually follow through with the threat I'd made today. Or maybe he already believed I would really hurt him.

I had a power I didn’t deserve, didn’t know how to handle, and had never used to do anything good. A better person than me should have been stuck with that needle all those years ago. Someone who could handle the pressure and who was smart enough to understand consequences. Someone who had self-control and a desire to learn about her ability. But Jensen had given the vaccine to a coward. I was afraid to use my power, afraid to learn about it, and afraid to let others see my weaknesses. Afraid to believe that anything positive could come out of this life. I was so afraid that my parents, Cael, and Wesley would see how completely incompetent I was to handle something of this magnitude.

I just wanted to go home and work outside and ride Black Jack and pretend the world beyond the gate didn’t exist. I should be home hunting with my dad, organizing the storage room, patrolling the property, and taking care of the horses. I should never have taken an interest in Cael. All I’d done was suck him into my problems and get him kidnapped.

He’d said he was bored. I couldn’t blame him. He’d been a brilliant college student with a bright future ahead of him, and here he was trapped with a bunch of scientists and freaks in a very strange situation while knowing his parents were lost to him.

I pounded my fists on my thighs. Could I be any more selfish! I wanted to scream with the realization of it. Wesley had spent years on the farm, helping me out, watching over me, protecting me, sacrificing his wants and needs because he felt he owed me for saving his life. And how did I repay him? I had gone to him with all my problems, always expecting him to have a shoulder for me to lean on. I had filled him up with my complaints and my anger without asking him if he had any of his own. Because he was quiet and serious, I’d always done most of the talking while he’d been my silent support, never once complaining. And now that he was in a relationship, I was even more selfish and jealous and demanding of his time and attention, deliberately thwarting any attempt at hanging with Alex just because I didn’t like her.

Wesley was his own person. He had his own life to live and his own choices to make. It was so selfish and presumptuous of me to try to make decisions for him. Was I doing the same thing to Cael? He’d given so much to me. He’d been nothing but kind and thoughtful. Whenever I felt bad, he was there for me. He took care of me. He was always ready and willing to take me into his arms when I was sad or angry, or even happy. He’d rescued me from Granger, kept me from being taken by the FBI, made sure I got patched up in Sweetwater, and he’d been my anchor in every way since being here. And what had I given him in return? He hadn’t come to me with any problems or complaints. He must have been scared, worried, unsure of his future and the future of his parents and Cody. But had I been there for him to lean on? Had I encouraged him to confide his feelings and thoughts in me? I’d been too caught up in my own problems. I might be an adult, but I was still just a selfish, scared teenager. Only brave enough to stand up to others when Wesley, my parents, or Cael stood behind me. All of them made me a better person. But when it was just me, all by myself, did I even like myself?

Hoping everyone was still at lunch, I snuck back to my room and took a long shower to erase any signs that I’d been crying. I owed it to Cael to let him explain why he wanted my files. There was no reason I shouldn’t forgive him and Wesley for reading about me without my permission. Even if I what they read embarrassed me, I should at least listen to Cael’s explanation. I would apologize for overreacting. If anyone deserved my anger, it was Jensen. What happened to privacy laws like HIPPA? Did I lose all legal rights by being here? I felt like the doctor had complete control of my life, and I hated him. I hated this place. I wanted out. There had to be a way to escape.

My thoughts were interrupted by the blast of two horns. I quickly rinsed the soap off my body and shut off the water, but I missed the first part of the announcement. I dried off while waiting for it to repeat. Seven students were called to the Arena, not including me. So I dressed in a clean set of scrubs and sat on my sofa, brushing my hair until my scalp stung.

Iggy

It seemed like hours later when the lock on my door clicked open. I had made up my mind to be mature and unselfish and talk to the one person I hated. I took a deep breath, preparing to face her. Stepping out into the hallway, Devon passed by and called out a greeting. I forced a smile in return and waited for him to disappear around the corner before I moved.

Right next door to me was Alex. Part of me hoped she wasn’t in her room, but as luck would have it, she was. Her door was halfway open, and I saw her shuffling through the clothes in her closet. I knocked.

She spun around and scowled. “What is it, Iggy? Have you come to try your power out on me again?”

I took a steadying breath. “I came to apologize.”

She walked towards me, eyeing me with suspicion. “Okay. Come in. I won’t believe it until I hear it.”

I stepped into her room, which mirrored mine. “I had no right interfering with you and Wesley in the pool the other morning.”

“Damn straight you didn’t.” She folded her arms across her chest.

This wasn’t going to be easy. I tamped down my pride. “Wesley and I have never been anything but friends, and I lied about it at the pool.”

“I already know that. So why are you telling me this?”

“Because I shouldn’t have interfered, and I don’t want what I said to have any bearing on the time you two spend together. If he likes you and wants to spend time with you, forget my stunt in the pool. It didn't mean anything.”

She clapped her hands slowly together several times. “How commendable of you. I would accept your apology, but it was unnecessary. Your pathetic attempt at keeping him to yourself didn’t work worth shit. Wes and I already talked about it. The thought of you doesn’t even begin to enter into either of our minds when we’re together. So don’t sweat it.”

“Good. I won’t interfere with you two anymore. Just, uh...don’t hurt him. He's still my best friend.”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re such a virgin, Iggy. Do you think Wes and I are going to run off and get married and file a joint income tax return? He’s just a screw. He doesn’t care about me, so I can’t hurt him. Now piss off and keep your silly warnings to yourself.”

I clamped my lips shut and walked out. In the hallway, one of the nurse’s told me she needed to get a set of vital signs, so I sat for that and then walked off to see if the library that Brodie had told me about was open. As I pushed the door, I prayed no one was in there. And for once, luck was on my side.

Chapter 23

Iggy

Just after the announcement for dinner, a knock sounded on my door. My heart leapt into my throat because I expected it to be Cael. But it was Brodie who stood in my doorway.

He smiled. “I thought we could eat dinner together.”

I gave him a strange look. “Why?”

He sighed and held out his hands between us, palms up. “Okay. Honestly, I’m intrigued that we can both do the same thing. I was hoping to talk about it with you.”

“I don’t really feel like talking about that kind of stuff tonight, Brodie.”

“Then we can talk about something else.” He steepled his fingers under his chin. “Please?”

“Okay,” I relented, thinking it was better to have his company than to sit alone. I needed all the distraction I could get so I wouldn't drown in the thought of missing both Wesley and Cael.

I grabbed a tray of food and sat down with Brodie. While he told me about a test he had to do with electricity and water, I watched for Cael and Wes. I didn’t have to wait long.

Wesley and Alex came in together, grabbed their food and sat down a few tables over. Cael glanced at me when he entered, but he kept his eyes off me after that, choosing to sit with Wesley and Alex instead of me. It hurt. Badly. And any progress I'd made toward not hating Alex was ruined. I mean, I had been horrible to Cael, and he had every right to be angry with me. But did he have to sit with Alex and
my
best friend?

I wasn't very good at making conversation, and I excused myself after a few minutes of pushing the food around my plate. After dinner, everyone had to return to their rooms. The doors remained locked for the rest of the evening, and I didn’t have a chance to talk to either Cael or Wes.

Iggy

Not thirty minutes after the morning wake-up horn, the double blast sounded and every single student was required to report to the Arena. I tensed. Last time we were in there, the test had been torture for us as well as the animals. And the fact that we didn't even get breakfast first made me all the more nervous. I dreaded the change in the routine because it had to mean bad news was coming.

I dressed quickly and brushed my hair up into a messy ponytail, then I jogged down the hallway, bringing up the rear. I filed into the Arena, looking for Cael, Wesley, and Pippa. Pippa didn’t handle tests very well, and I was a little worried about her. Like me, she hadn’t seemed like her usual chipper self at dinner last night.

We were escorted down the concrete stairs and instructed to line up on the red line. Cael, Shayla, and Brian were already in the control room with Dr. Jensen who was talking with a pretty, dark-haired woman I thought might be the psychologist Brodie had mentioned. Wesley was further down the line from me, standing between Alex and Gavin. I missed his presence beside me and swallowed past a lump of disappointment. I felt like I was losing everything that mattered to me. No Wes. No Cael. No parents. No freedom. I felt so alone.

“Good morning,” Jensen began. “I know it’s early. But I called you here to participate in a very important test. And it shouldn’t take very long.”

Beside me, Devon growled, “It’s too early for this shit.”

Jensen continued into his microphone, “Technicians are coming out now to hand you each a small disk. You are to hold that disk tightly in your right hand.” He paused to allow the action to be completed. Though I was tense, I yawned deeply. A technician gave a disk to the guy before me and the girl after me, but she skipped me. Suddenly I was wide awake and my heart picked up its pace. There had to be a bad reason why I was the only one who hadn’t been given a disk.

Once the technicians exited the Arena floor, Jensen said, “Miss Bennefield. Step forward and stand on the yellow line.”

At the mention of my name, I stifled a groan of angry disappointment. But I did as I was instructed, and I glared at Jensen through the glass. He said, “Several students have brought to my attention that Miss Bennefield is able to tell when people are about to use their powers.”

So that's what this was about. Of course the doctor wasn't going to let the incident go. I heard several people whispering loudly behind me, and I gnawed on my lip.

He continued, “While that theory was apparently tested in the atrium, I need to run a monitored experiment of my own. So here’s how this test will work.”

I wanted to look at Wesley for support. I needed one of his smart ass remarks. I wanted Cael’s arms around me. But I'd dug myself into a hole, and I was alone in this. I kept my eyes glued to Jensen during the instructions, forcing myself to appear unaffected.

“The disks in your hands vibrate. When you feel the vibration, it is a signal for you to use your abilities as fast as possible before Miss Bennefield realizes what you're doing and stops you.”

Pippa spoke up, “But we don't have to actually use our powers. Iggy can sense who is starting to use before they do anything, so she can just tell you who's
about
to use. That way she doesn't get hurt.”

Jensen huffed, “Miss McMillan. This is
my
experiment. Not yours. Be quiet.” He clarified, “You
will
use your power against Miss Bennefield.” I heard several students protesting, and my eyes widened, but I kept calm as Jensen interrupted with, “The purpose of the test isn't just about her recognizing who is about to use; it is about you all getting faster and her learning how to block.”

I heard Cael snap, “And what if she’s not fast enough?” He’d risen to his feet.