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I threw my arms around his neck and smiled. “I came for the artificial sun.” When he braced himself on the edge of the pool, I moved behind his back and wrapped my legs and arms around him.

Alex grabbed hold of the pool ledge in front of us. “What are you trying to prove, Iggy?”

“I’m not proving anything, Alex. I’m just hanging out with my best friend. And if you want to swim with him, you’ll have to swim with me, too.”

She raised an eyebrow. “What? Is Cael not enough for you, Iggy? Tired of him already? Then I guess it's my turn with him.”

I frowned. “You really are a whore. Why don’t you go back to your room and leave Wesley alone? You're not good enough for him. And Cael wouldn't touch you if you were the last female on earth.”

Wesley pulled me around and clamped a hand over my mouth, my back pinned to his chest. His grip was so tight, I was sure to have bruises.

Alex shot daggers at me with her eyes. “Don’t fuck around with me, bitch.”

My skin started to buzz. I elbowed Wesley in the gut and concentrated on her, throwing my own power toward her. I was faster. She gasped and arched her back as I blocked her power with a spasm of muscle, her fingers clutching at the pool’s ledge. A second later, I released her. “Don't you dare try to use your power on me, Alex. I know how to defend myself.” Then I wrapped my arms around Wesley, kissed his neck, flicked my tongue across the spot, and then nipped the skin there. I heard him inhale sharply, but my eyes were on Alex.

She hauled herself out the pool. “You don’t have any idea the shit you just stirred up.”

“Bye-bye.” I waved at her and pulled my power forward, ready to defend myself. She flipped me off and walked out the door.

When she was gone, Wesley dunked me under the water. I came up sputtering. He grabbed my wrists angrily and shoved me against the wall, pinning me in place with his body. “What the fuck was that?”

I flinched. He never talked to me that way. I tried to pull away. “I’ve known you for eight years, Wesley. I’m … I can’t stand her.”

“I know that, Iggy. So what? It’s not your business.”

“Well, I just made it my business. I don’t want her hanging around you.”

“Then don’t hang around me and you won't know we’re together.”

I jerked out of his grasp and glared at him. “You're not serious.”

“What’s gotten into you, Iggy? What is your problem? If you were looking for a fight, you sure as hell succeeded.”

I threw my hands up in the air. “I don’t even know why I bother with you, Wesley!” I turned around to go, but he grabbed my arms and yanked me toward him. Then he spun me and pushed me backwards so that I was pinned between him and the pool wall again.

“You don’t get to waltz in here, stir shit up, say stuff I’ve never heard you say while hanging all over me, and then walk out.” He moved closer until his face was inches from mine and it was easy to tell his eyes were more gray than blue, which meant he was angry. “Why did you do that? Why did you lick my neck and then bite me.”

I looked down because the question he’d just asked made me uncomfortable. “I don’t know.” He squeezed my wrists tighter. “Because I knew you'd like it and she wouldn't.”

“How did you know I would like that?”

I rolled my eyes. “Maybe I know you better than you realized.”

“You made Alex think you’re competition. You practically staked your claim on me.”

I shrugged. “Fine. As long as she leaves you alone.”

“It’s not fine, Iggy. I don’t appreciate it, and I’m sure Cael wouldn’t, either.”

I gnawed on my bottom lip a moment, fighting the guilt before deciding honesty was the best policy. “You’re my best friend, and I’m supposed to be more important to you than her.”

“You
are
more important. Always. So you don’t need to be jealous.”

“I’m not jealous.”

He gave me a disbelieving look. “Why did you wrap yourself around me and kiss me, Iggy? You didn’t have to go that far to make your point. You don’t do shit like that with a best friend. With
me
.” He grasped my chin and tugged. “Will you look at me when I’m talking to you?”

I looked up, but he was still uncomfortably close. “You’re right. It wasn’t appropriate. I just thought that I would act the way she probably acted, and it would prove to her that…” I let my words trail off, unsure of what I was trying to say. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d get mad at me for it.”

He released me. “I’m not mad, Iggy. I’m confused.”

“Confused because now you aren’t sure whether or not you’re mad at me? I don’t blame you. I understand that you're angry, but I don't regret doing it. No matter what you say.”

“I'm not confused about that. I’m confused because I like what you did.”

I stared at him, frozen. “Like that I pissed off your girlfriend?”

“She’s not my girlfriend. And no, I don’t think making a worse enemy of her was a smart thing to do. But the part I liked was you hanging all over me. I liked your kiss. I really liked it when you bit me.” His brow wrinkled and he shook his head. “I can’t believe you bit me. You've never done anything like that. It's so...different.”

I wiped the water out of my eyes, hating the heat that was undoubtedly suffusing my face with color. It was true that what I’d just done was not like me at all.

He gripped my chin again to hold my head up so I was forced to look at him. “Next time,” he said softly, “why don’t you try kissing me on the lips? After all, if you're going to make her jealous, really go for it.”

I jerked my chin out of his grip. “If you're trying to shock me into being sorry for what I did, then forget it. It won't work. In all the time we’ve known each other, you’ve never liked me that way. We’re just friends. So lay off.”

He sighed and let go. “Iggy, are you really that obtuse? I’ve
always
liked you that way.”

I frowned. “You never told me. You always led me to think we could never be anything but friends.”

He pushed away, water sloshing between us. “That’s true. We can’t be. No matter how much I’ve always wanted more, I know I’m no good for you. You’re better off with a guy like Cael. That’s why I never kissed you, even though there wasn’t a day that passed when I didn’t think about it.”

My mouth hung open like a guppy. “I never knew. You…you’re so good at hiding it.”

He shook his head. “Not that good. Cael knows how I feel about you.”

“He does?” Wesley nodded. “I really am blind. How long has he known?”

“Doesn't matter. Cael knows I can’t give you what you need. He knows you and I will never be anything more than friends.”

“I don’t understand. What do you mean you can’t give me what I need? What is it you think I need?”

His face turned into the mask I’d seen so many times. He didn’t want to talk about this, but he responded anyway. “I’m fucked up, Iggy. You know that. Ever since my parents’ deaths, I’ve been screwed up.”

“You’re not screwed up, Wes. You’re a little different than most people, but I love that about you.”

“It doesn’t matter anyway.”

“Why not?”

“Because. What would you have done even if I
had
kissed you years ago? You wouldn’t have kissed me back.”

My first thought was to tell him that I’d only ever thought of him as friend. But as I looked at him, seeing him in all the ways only I knew, I thought about whether or not I would have wanted him to kiss me before I met Cael. “Honestly?” He nodded, his face stone but his eyes unsure. It actually made me sad to say it. “Yes, Wesley. I would have kissed you back. You’re not fucked up. You’re wonderful and beautiful, and I love you. And if we’d had this conversation a long time ago, I would have wanted things to be different between us. I would have loved you as more than just a friend.”

He looked as if I’d just stabbed him through the heart. “Then I’m glad I never kissed you. Because loving me like that would only hurt you.” He leaned closer, causing my breath to hitch. My heart skipped into overtime, and I had a wild thought that he was going to kiss me. But he whispered, “Don't interfere with me and Alex.” Then he shoved away from me, hauled himself out of the pool, and walked off.

I had a sudden urge to cry. I was so confused and angry. I couldn’t believe I just found out about this here and in this way. How could Wesley have believed all this time that he was too messed up to be with me? Through all his anger, all his moods, and all the bad things I knew he’d done, I still loved him. He’d always known that. Of course he could have given me what I needed. Why would he ever think he couldn’t? Did he think he was such a bad person that he didn’t deserve love? Is that why he’d never had a real relationship with a girl? If so, it was tragic, because he was so wrong. If anyone deserved happiness, it was Wesley! It pissed me off that he thought so little of himself.

I swam laps until my body ached. And then I swam some more. I was glad to be in the water because I didn’t want to know if my face was wet from tears.

Chapter 21

Iggy

First thing Monday morning, Cael was called to Dr. Jensen’s office. I was stuck in my room, and I did sets of sit-ups, push-ups, and lunges until I was sweating and sore in an effort to distract myself from imagining all sorts of scenarios. I even French braided my hair, restarting the process three times until I felt I’d done a perfect job.

Finally, the announcement for breakfast came and the door unlocked. Alex had the first room on the hall, and I had the second, so we came out at the same time. She looked at me like she smelled something bad before heading away from the cafeteria hallway and toward Wesley’s room. I imagined her walking up to him and kissing him. She might even use her tongue. Disgusting. The thought made me want to throw up. But Wesley had told me not to interfere with him and Alex, so I headed for the dining hall hoping Cael was already there.

He wasn’t, and that worried me.

I was first in line, and the cooks were still putting the rectangular steel pans beneath the heat lamps. I grabbed a tray, scooped cheese grits onto it, and headed for the drink machine to get a glass of orange juice. I had my choice of tables, but I picked the one Wesley and I usually sat at. I kept my eyes on my food because I didn’t want to see Wesley and Alex walk in together. And I really didn’t know if I could keep my promise not to interfere if they were holding hands or some crazy thing like that. Not that Wes was the hand-holding type. I’d never seen him hold a girl’s hand. But then, he’d spent most of his time hanging around me.

“Mind if I sit here?”

I glanced up to find Brodie offering a half smile. He plunked his tray down before I even answered, but at least it was across the table. I asked, “Are you here to verbally assault me?”

“What gives you that idea?”

I tilted my head to the side and rolled my eyes at him. “You and Alex seem pretty tight. And you’ve never said anything nice to me.”

“Well, Alex and I aren’t quite so tight anymore. She’s busy with Wesley. And my attitude was due to thinking you were a liar. Alex is my friend, and I don’t take lightly to people calling my friends liars.” He gulped down some apple juice and picked up a biscuit. “But you proved you weren’t lying about her.” He shrugged as if that summed everything up, and then he bit into his biscuit.

Val and Devon asked to sit down, and I gestured that it was fine. Suddenly my table was filled with people I wasn’t sure even liked me. When Pippa and Brian joined the group, there was no room left for my two favorite people. But Wes and Alex had taken a table across the room anyway, and Cael still hadn’t shown up. So not only was I worried about him, I was mad because Wesley always ate meals with me. For the past eight years, we’d shared the same table whenever possible. Even in high school, he’d made someone move if there wasn’t a space open beside me. Now, he’d deliberately chosen to sit with
her
. When she smiled at something he said, I ground my teeth together and vowed not to look in their direction again.

“…and then Angela told me she wasn’t allowed to carry on personal conversations with me, and even if she could, she wasn’t interested in boys,” Devon was saying when I tuned in.

Val asked, “Did that mean she’s into girls?”

He shook his head. “It meant she thinks I’m a boy and not a man.”

“Who’s Angela?” I asked, trying to pay attention now. They all looked at me funny.

Pippa said, “You must have been spacing out. The first thing Devon said was that she’s one of the nurses.”

“Oh. Whoops. Missed that part.”

Devon continued, “Come on. Do I look like a boy? I’m almost twenty years old. I’m not a boy.” He turned to Pippa. “What do the girls here think? Don’t I look like a man?”

“Yes,” Pippa said, looking as though she was trying not to laugh. “Definitely a man.”

He looked at Val for a response. “Maybe she meant your immaturity makes her think of you as a boy.”