Valor on the Move (30 page)

“So it’s all decided.”

It was so tempting to let Rafa talk him out of it, but Shane nodded. “Transferring is usually a bitch, but after what happened, I think they’ll be accommodating. I just need to get away from DC. It’ll be good for me to go back. Get my head on straight. Figure out my priorities.”
Try to forget about you.

Rafa stared at their feet. “I don’t want you to go, but I understand why you have to. I guess it’s easy for me to say that we’d be able to work something out. It’s not my career on the line.” He met Shane’s gaze with big brown eyes, his dark eyelashes glittering with unshed tears. “But I hate it.”

Giving in and tugging him close, Shane wrapped Rafa in his arms one last time. “Me too,” he whispered. He kissed the side of Rafa’s head. “You’d better check that sauce. I’m glad your mother’s coming around. You’re going to do just fine.”

But Rafa ignored Shane’s words, kissing him fiercely. The aching pressure in Shane’s chest threatened to explode as he kissed him back, wishing they were in the dark of the cave again, where the rest of the world had seemed so far away. He breathed Rafa in, their bodies driving together and wanting more. Needing more as they gasped and gripped each other.

With every ounce of self-control he had left, Shane ripped himself away. At the door he turned back a last time. Rafa stood in the middle of the little kitchen, his chest rising and falling as red sauce simmered on the stove behind him.

Shane cleared his throat. “Remember that with some waves…you can’t catch them. Better to dive through and wait for another one. There’s always another one.”

Rafa stood forlorn, hugging himself.

With a shuddering breath, Shane managed to walk away, nodding to people downstairs who said things to him he didn’t hear over the rush of blood in his ears. He didn’t stop for anyone as he hurried to the parking lot. Just kept moving until he sped down Pennsylvania Avenue, leaving his heart behind.

Five months, seventeen days, and twenty hours later

Rafa inhaled deeply, the salt in the air complementing the lingering flavor of watermelon and pistachio on his tongue. The January sun was surprisingly strong over a quiet Brooks Street Beach late on this Saturday morning, and the four-foot waves carried loyal riders clad in black wetsuits. Rafa watched them paddle out and wait for their turns, popping up gracefully on their boards as the waves broke.

He’d forgotten his sunglasses on Adriana’s coffee table, and Rafa held his hand over his eyes as he watched Shane ride a wave into the shore. This was the third one he’d caught since Rafa had arrived, and Rafa could have happily stood on the sand watching for hours with his sneakers off and duffel at his feet, the sand gritty between his toes. Just seeing Shane again was enough for the moment.

But with his board under his arm, now Shane picked over some rocks at the shore and headed across the sand. Not many people were on the beach. Lightheaded and tingling, Rafa was about to call out when Shane jolted to a stop, staring at him.

At a distance, Rafa couldn’t quite make out his expression, and his mouth went dry. Would Shane even want to see him? He’d probably moved on, and this would be awkward and weird and a huge mistake. His heart went into triple time as Shane changed course straight for him, walking steadily with his board still attached to his ankle by its leash. Too late to run away now, and Rafa waited.

When they were a few feet apart, Shane thrust his board into the sand on its end and peeled open the Velcro leash around his ankle. His dark hair was still shorn close to his glistening head, and water dripped off the end of his nose. Rafa could see he hadn’t shaved for a few days, and thought of how Shane’s stubble had felt on his skin that night in the cave.

He’s actually standing here. This is actually happening. This is real life.

“Come to catch a wave?” Shane asked nonchalantly, the low rumble of his voice so wonderful to hear.

“I…uh…” They stood there staring at each other, and suddenly all of his carefully rehearsed words evaporated in Rafa’s mind. He thrust out the slushee. “I stopped by Maddie’s for you. It really is good. I hope you don’t mind that I had a sip.”

“Course not.” Shane took the cup, their fingers brushing. He had a sip through the straw. “Thanks.”

Stay cool. Don’t spaz.
“You looked great out there. Glad you’re surfing again.”

“Thanks. It’s been really good getting back into it. I don’t know how I managed so many years without it now.” He took another sip. “I saw a bit of Livingston’s inauguration the other day. You’re officially done, huh?”

“Yeah.” Grinning, Rafa glanced around. “No detail. It’s weird, just walking around by myself. But awesome too. So far people don’t seem to recognize me much.”

Shane’s lips lifted. “It’s the hair.” He dropped his gaze to Rafa’s jeans and purple Ripcurl hoodie. “And the clothes. Looks good on you. You’ll fit right in with the other surf rats.”

Rafa ran a hand through the loose curls that spilled over his forehead. “Thanks.”

“Saw the interview you did with your parents a few months ago. You were really good.”

He shrugged, blushing a little. “Figured I owed it to those little gay kids out there. And I realized it was easier to just say what I wanted to say so people could deal with it and move on. That way there wasn’t the whole is he or isn’t he thing.”

“Makes sense.” Shane took another sip of the slushee. “So. You just stopping by on your way down under?” he asked casually.

Rafa’s palms were sweaty, and he jammed his hands in his pockets. “No. I mean, yes. I am on my way to Australia.”

“Packing light.” Shane nodded to the duffel.

“The rest of my stuff’s at Adriana’s in LA. I just…I needed to find you. I have to say this, and I don’t expect anything from you.” He’d planned it all so perfectly, but now his mind was buzzing, and Shane was right there in front of him, waiting and watching with an unreadable expression.

Fuck it.

“I wanted to say that I’m totally in love with you. And that might be crazy, and I know I’m young and that you’re older than me and you have a life here, but I want to be with you.” The words tumbled out, and Rafa figured he might as well say them all now that he’d started.

He forced himself to keep Shane’s gaze and went on. “What I really want more than anything is for you to come to Australia with me. And I’m sure that’s not possible with your job, and you probably wouldn’t even want to anyway, but I can’t stop thinking about you. Missing you. And you’re probably so over me anyway, and—”

Shane’s wet lips were salty, and his scruff rasped against Rafa’s skin as he held Rafa’s face and kissed him deeply, the slushee abandoned. Rafa opened his mouth under Shane’s, moaning into the kiss as he yanked Shane against him, not caring if he got wet. His fingers dug into the thick neoprene wetsuit as their tongues met.

Breathing hard when he broke away, Shane pressed his forehead against Rafa’s. “Are you sure?”

“About which part? Yes. All of it. Are you…? Do you…?” Rafa could hardly breathe.

With a smile that creased his cheeks and lit up his face, Shane leaned back to look at him. “I love you, Rafa. I knew it then, but when I moved back here, it became clearer and clearer. I want to be with you. In Australia, or Timbuktu. I don’t care. Anywhere. I want to surf with you and eat everything you want to cook. Want to wake up with you every morning.”

“You do?” Rafa thought he might have floated away, rocketing right up into the California sky if not for Shane’s hands on his shoulders. He wanted to laugh and shout and sing. “But what about your job?”

“My last day was a week ago. Working in the field office here was fine. Pretty much nine to five, investigating local counterfeiting. All the treasury department stuff the Secret Service does that no one really pays attention to. I was going to finish my twenty-five years and get my pension, and then do private contracting. Security consulting; that kind of thing. But I’d have to wait six and a half years, and I decided that’s too damn long. Not when I could have that time with you.”

Rafa was pretty sure his heart was going to explode in a spray of red goo. “You want that? You really want me?”

Shane cupped his cheek with one hand, his blue eyes steely. “Yes. I want you, Rafa. Maybe we’re nuts, but I’ve been miserable without you.” He shook his head, laughing softly. “I quit my job and lined up a security contract with a firm in Sydney. I was going to find you down there. Go knock on the door of the Cordon Bleu if I had to. Hope you still wanted me.” He exhaled. “I was afraid you wouldn’t, but I had to try. My friend said I was sleepwalking through my life, and he was right. You woke me up. I’m all in, Rafa.”

Grinning, Rafa hugged him tightly, burying his face against Shane’s damp neck.
He wants me. We love each other. It’s real.

“I’m getting you wet,” Shane murmured.

Rafa pulled back. “Then you’d better get me out of these clothes. Your house isn’t far, right?”

“How did you know? I’m subletting from an old friend.”

“I got your address from Brent Harris. Told him I really wanted to thank you again in person for saving my life.” His happiness dimmed. “I heard Alan pleaded guilty.”

Shane nodded. “Let’s talk about that later.” He smiled softly. “We’ve got time, right?”

Excitement rippled through Rafa, and he licked his lips. “As long as we want. No one to tell us we can’t.”

Shane’s gaze flicked between Rafa’s mouth and his eyes. “Then what are we waiting for?”
 

“Wow. This house is great. Right on the water.” Rafa kicked off his sandy sneakers and walked through the bungalow’s little living room to the sliding glass doors leading to a deck on the beach.

He peered at the waves glittering in the sunshine. It hadn’t been a long drive from Brooks Street, and Shane had just thrown down a towel on the seat and driven the truck in his wetsuit. Rafa had asked meaningless questions about the area to fill the thick silence and calm his nerves.

“It must be nice to—” As Rafa turned, the words shriveled and died in his dry throat. Shane had unzipped the wetsuit, and now he peeled it down his arms, then his legs, and then he was naked.

And he was
amazing.

Dark hair grew on his chest—not too much, not too little. The perfect manly amount, at least in Rafa’s estimation. Then there was the hair below his belly button, which led down to a trimmed thatch at his groin. His cock was thick and long as it swelled beneath Rafa’s avid gaze. Shane’s balls were big and heavy, hanging down between his powerful thighs, which were dusted with dark hair.

Rafa opened his mouth to say something—what did people usually say at moments like these? Something seductive or sexy? He should say something like that. “Uh…”

A smile tugged on Shane’s lips, and he held out his hand. “I’ve got sand in small places. Let’s have a rinse and warm up.”

Crossing to where Shane stood at the juncture to the hallway, Rafa nodded, not trusting his voice. Gripping Shane’s hand, he followed to the bathroom. While Shane fiddled with the taps in the glass shower stall—providing an incredible view of his firm ass—Rafa took a deep breath and yanked off his damp clothes. He wished it was dark again, but he forced his arms to his sides so he didn’t look like a nervous kid. His cock was already rock hard without even a tug.

Shane stepped under the water, and Rafa followed, squeezing in and pulling the door shut. The stall was fairly big, and Rafa had an excellent view of Shane’s body as Shane lathered a bar of green soap and rubbed himself with soapy hands. Then Shane was washing him. They were actually naked together, and Shane was touching him all over. Rafa hoped he could get through the shower without jizzing.

Running his soapy hands over Rafa’s back, Shane pulled him close. “We don’t have to do anything. We can go slowly,” he murmured.

Rafa rubbed against him, shuddering as their cocks met. “I don’t want to go slow. I want to do it all.” He eyed the scar on Shane’s neck and ran his finger over it, making Shane shudder.

Shane smiled slyly. “We will, don’t worry. But I can hear you thinking. Worrying.”

“I’m not worrying about that.” Rafa bit back a gasp as Shane ran his slick hands down over his ass.

“Then what?” Shane frowned. “I don’t want you worrying about anything.”

“It’s just that…” Rafa tried to find the words. “You’re…
you
, and I’m like…”

His frown deepened. “Like what?”

“Um, like this. You know.” Rafa shrugged and tried to laugh. “It was easier in the dark.”

“Uh-uh.” Shane shook his head while he caressed Rafa’s body, steam rising around them. “I want to see you. See how beautiful you are.”

Rafa scoffed. “I’m not—”

His words were swallowed as Shane kissed him deeply, licking into his mouth and pressing him back against the cool tile. When Shane leaned away, his blue eyes were dark. “I want to see how your lips get swollen and wet.” He rubbed his thumb over them, and then down to Rafa’s chest. “Want to see how your skin flushes when I touch you. When I look at you.” He dragged his thumb over a nipple, and Rafa gasped. “Want to see how hard your nipples get when I tease them.” He bent his head and latched on to Rafa’s throat, sucking forcefully, gripping Rafa’s hips with his hands. Breaking the suction, he bit the tender skin. “I want to see my marks on you.”