Vampire Charming (26 page)

“I
don’t have to convince you of what you already know.”  He said simply.  “You
are in love with me.”

Jane
saw red at that matter-of-fact response.  “
Why would I be in love with you?
 
Huh?  You’ve done nothing but wreck my life, you maniac!”

“I’m
your Eternal-One!”  He roared back.  “You
must
love me.  It is part of
our bond.”

“I
don’t
love you and I will
never
be your Eternal-One!  Go sell
that crap to the next girl on your endless list of possible fiancées, because
I’m not interested!”

Slade
flinched.

Jane
shook her head, too upset to even process the devastated look on his face.  If she
let him, he would destroy her.  Betting on Slade would end up with her having
nothing
. 
She knew it.  “I can’t do this.”  She whispered out loud.  “It’s too big.”

“Jane,
please.”  He held out a hand.  “I know you’re afraid, but I can be a good mate
for you.  I swear it.”

“No.” 
It was a denial of this entire situation.  “There’s no way.  I can’t take a
chance like that.  Are you crazy?”

His
face changed.  For the first time since she’d known him, Slade looked
defeated.  “You mean you can’t take a chance on
me
.”  He corrected
quietly, dropping his palm.  “I’m not worth it.”

It
was exactly the opposite.

Jane
backed up even more. “You’re just too big a risk.”  She told him, her voice
unsteady.

If
she handed him everything and he let her down, what would she have left?  Slade
was too important to her already.  If she gave anymore and he walked away, she
could never recover.  And everyone
always
walked away.  She had to be
smart.  Be a survivor.  It was better to have nothing than to gamble on such a crazy,
shiny, impractical longshot.

Right?

So
why did she want to jump off that bridge and trust that he’d catch her?

Jane
was so frantic that she didn’t pay attention to where she was going.  In her
panic, she inadvertently left the Corpse Road.  Her feet came down in the
too-green grass at the edge of the path.

Instantly,
she knew she’d made a massive mistake.  She tried to scramble back onto the gravel,
but something blocked her.  An obstacle now stood between her and Slade.  Her
hands flattened against the invisible wall that had been erected, dread filling
her.  Once you left the safety of the road, there was no way back on.

“Jane,”
Slade shouted, “you will be alright!”  He tried to reach through the barrier
and grab her, but it didn’t work.  He could touch her arm, but he couldn’t pull
her back through.  She saw concern cloud his features, as he tried to figure
out how to help.

“Do
not
come out here.”  She ordered, reading his mind.  “I mean it. 
There’s no sense in both of us being screwed.”

Slade’s
grip tightened on her arm.  Even though it was pointless, he wasn’t releasing
his hold.  “You are
not
screwed, Jane.  Just give me a moment to come up
with a plan to rescue…”  His voice trailed off, his attention fixed on the endless
vegetation behind her.

She
whirled around and immediately spotted the problem.  Something moved in the
tall grass.  Something dark and big and headed her way.  The figures looked almost
human, but their bodies swirled like small tornadoes.  The shifting, twirling
forms bore down on her, red eyes glowing amid the black smog of their faces.

Shadowmen.

Oh
Christ…

Jane’s
gaze flashed back over to Slade.  There was no way she was getting out of this
alive and, if her death scene was coming at the hands of some cheap visual
effects, she’d die looking at him.  Slade was the final image she wanted to
take with her.  With a start, she realized that even if she died in her bed,
seventy years from now, her final thoughts would
still
be of him.  Crazy
as it sounded, Slade was
it
for her.  She knew that.  She’d known it
from the beginning.

Her
Prince Charming.

“I’m
sorry.”  Jane murmured and knew she was apologizing for not being brave enough
to tell him how she actually felt.  “Slade, I…
Stop!
”

Her
words ended in a shout of alarm.  Apparently intent on proving he was stupidest
Vampire in the universe, Slade silently stepped off the trail.

Jane’s
jaw dropped in horror.  He’d left the road!  Once you left the road, it was all
over.  Mutant ghosts were set on devouring them and he’d just deliberately put
himself at risk.

“You
fucking idiot!”  She instinctively tried to push him back onto the path.  “I
told
you not to come out here.”  She swore when the invisible barrier kept him from
crossing back onto the gravel.  “Goddamn it!”  She gave his shoulder a
frustrated shove.  “I
told
you I’m not your Eternal-One.  It’s
completely pointless for you to sacrifice yourself for me.  It’s not worth it! 
Why in the hell would you…?”

Slade
cut off her rant, his eyes on the Shadowmen.  “Because you’re Jane.”  He said,
moving in front of her.  “Even if you never accept our connection, you will
still be
Jane
and that is worth
everything
.”

She
stared up at him, having no idea what to say to that.  There
was
nothing
to say.  The guy was a colossal lunatic, but he was also something more. 
Something a whole lot rarer than a Vampire and much more important than a king. 
Something that came straight from the core of him and that nothing could ever
change.

Slade
was something Jane had never believed in, until that very moment…

An
honest-to-God hero.

INT- ROLAND’S BLACKSMITH SHOP- NIGHT

As he has for several scenes, ROLAND restlessly
bounces a rubber ball off the wall.  He isn’t sure what to do next, so he isn’t
doing anything.  It seems like the easiest option and ROLAND likes easy.  The
camera stays on him as minutes tick by.  It’s not very interesting, but at
least it shows the audience that ROLAND is thinking.

What is he thinking about?  Well, if he
goes looking for SLADE, he knows one of them will perish.  Is confronting the
Vampire worth the risk?  Honestly, this quest thing is getting old.  Does he
care
about ruling this dumb kingdom enough to die for it?  The whole place is kind
of lame, ya know?  ROLAND’S an
artist
.  He doesn’t do –like-- taxes and
laws and shit.

Maybe he should just let FANG and SLADE
duke it out for the throne, and save himself the noise.  Seriously, ROLAND’S
young and handsome and he’s got a horse.  He could go off and have rocking
adventures someplace tropical.  Maybe even start a
new
band.  A
better
band.  (JAMES THE ORC sucks on bass.  Why is he the only one who sees that?)  For
realz, ROLAND could write some hit songs.  Meet some babes.  Go bungee
jumping.  He doesn’t need all this freaking pressure, man.

Those philosophical thoughts cause
ROLAND to pause and consider something new.  Hang on… If he walks away from
Infinia, SLADE will to get to nail the princess.  Oh hellz no!  ROLAND’S eyes
cut over the pin-up spread of ALLANDRINA on the wall.  All she’s wearing is a
tiara and a come-hither smile, and ROLAND suddenly recalls his earlier
voiceover.  That chick
does
have a killer rack.  And she’s sure to
thank-you-fuck the guy who saves her from FANG.  No
way
is he just
handing her over to the Vampire.  If anyone gets a piece of that sweet ass,
it’s gonna be ROLAND.

He’s the damn
hero
of this quest,
bitches.

Redrafted Film Script- “From Here to Infinia”

The
Shadowmen came closer and Slade wasn’t sure how to kill them.  He could defeat
regular ghosts, but he had never even seen this type of creature before.  They
didn’t seem to have a permanent shape.  They moved like an encroaching fog,
only with clawed hands and feral eyes.  There would clearly be no reasoning
with them and it would no doubt prove difficult to wound a being made entirely
of smoke.  He had no idea where to even begin.

From
out of nowhere, the doubts struck.  The insecure thoughts that he refused to
even acknowledge most of the time screamed louder than they ever had before. 
The voices that told him that he could pretend with everyone else, but they
knew he was really a failure.  He wasn’t smart enough.  Wasn’t worthy enough.  His
own people didn’t want him.  His grandmother had forsaken him.  His Eternal-One
thought he was a joke.  He was
nothing
.  Slade was about to screw
everything up and Jane would pay the price.

He
was supposed to be the greatest warrior ever born.  He was supposed to win any
battle he entered.  …Except he always seemed to lose the ones that mattered.

“I
can’t believe you did this.”  Jane hissed at him.  “You were safe on the damn
road and you deliberately left it.  You have the IQ of a comatose fruit fly,
you know that?”

“You
would prefer I stand by and watch you die?”

“I
would prefer you
survive
.”  She sounded incensed.  “I’m
still
going to die, but now you’ll be joining me.  Do you think I want that?  Huh?”

Slade’s
mind was racing.  “Neither of us will die today, Jane Squire.”  He vowed… only
he had no clue how he could keep that promise.

The
Shadowmen were drawing closer.  They seemed to appear right out of the ground,
changing positions instantly.  Their misty bodies materialized in torrents of
air, surrounding Jane and Slade.  A terrifying howl went up as they closed in;
the victorious cry of predators about to feast.  The ghostly appendages reached
for them, wanting to pull them deeper into the grass.

Jane’s
fingers found Slade’s and he glanced at her in surprise.  In what was very
possibly their last moment alive, she linked herself to him.  Jane Squire --the
prickliest, least sentimental, most contrary human ever born-- planned to die
holding his hand.  She might deny their connection, but the truth was so
clear.  Deep down Jane knew it, too.

They
belonged together.

Her
palm tightened on his and Slade felt his heart turn over in his chest.  A
strange clam came over him, driving out his doubts.  No matter what, he could
not lose to the Shadowmen.  He
wouldn’t
.  His whole world was at stake.

Slade’s
eyes narrowed in determination.  The creatures moved too quickly to outrun and
they had no heads to lop off.  Dashing across the field would be suicide. 
Returning to the Corpse Road was impossible.  So, there was only one choice.

Slade
grabbed Jane closer, sweeping her up into his arms.  “Hold on to me.”

She
gave a startled yelp as he lifted her against his chest, her arms circling his neck. 
“What are you doing?  You can’t pick me up.  Only thin girls get picked up. 
You’re going to throw your back out and the monsters are going to…”

“Jane,
be quiet and
hold on
.”  Slade interrupted.  With a surge of power, he
propelled them straight up into the air.

“Holy
shit!”  Jane clutched him in a death-grip, her eyes the size of plates. 
“You’re flying!”  She looked down like she couldn’t believe it.  Clearly, few
beings in her world could leave the ground.  Why did she miss such a
magicks-less place?  “Oh my God, you can actually
fly
, Slade!”  She
shook her head in astonishment.  “I
knew
you were lying about Infinia
blocking your powers.”

He
supposed it would be too much to ask that she’d forget that ridiculous
deception.  The woman had the lamentable habit of recalling every stupid thing
he uttered.  “Right.”  Slade cleared his throat.  “I apologize for the untruth. 
It was wrong of me.”

Jane’s
gaze stayed locked on the thwarted Shadowmen far below.  “Well, Superman-ing me
away from certain death is a great way to say you’re sorry.”  She spared him a
quick glance.  “Just don’t drop me.”

“There
is no chance of that happening.”  Slade held her close, breathing in the scent
of her hair.  She was safe.  He couldn’t believe that he’d actually done it.  “I
will never let you fall.”

She
swallowed, her constrictive grip lessening to a merely suffocating one.  For
Jane, it was an incredible show of faith.  “Thank you.”  She whispered.  “I had
no clue how we were going to get out of that one.  The next time I start
complaining about one of your idiotic ideas, feel free to remind me of this
moment.”

Slade
gave a serious nod, shocked that it had been so easy to escape the Shadowmen. 
The more he thought about it the more amazing it seemed.

“You
okay?”  She prompted, staring at his profile.  “You look kind of weird.”

“I
expected to fail.”  He said honestly.  “When it’s important, I always seem to
fail.”

“
Fail?
 
You are the most absurdly successful…”