Vampire Charming

Vampire
Charming

Cassandra
Gannon

Text
copyright © 2014 Cassandra Gannon

Cover
Image copyright © 2014 Cassandra Gannon

All
Rights Reserved

Published
by Star Turtle Publishing

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Also by Cassandra Gannon

The Elemental Phases Series

Warrior from the Shadowland

Guardian of the Earth House

Exile in the Water Kingdom

Treasure of the Fire Kingdom

Queen of the Magnetland

Magic of the Wood House

Coming Soon
:  Destiny of
the Time House

A Kinda Fairytale Series

Wicked Ugly Bad

Beast in Shining Armor

Coming Soon:
  Happily Ever
Witch

Other Books

Not Another Vampire Book

Love in the Time of Zombies

Vampire Charming

If you enjoy Cassandra’s books, you may
also enjoy books by her sister, Elizabeth Gannon:

The Consortium of Chaos series

Yesterday’s Heroes

The Son of Sun and Sand

The Guy Your Friends Warned You About

Electrical Hazard

The Only Fish in the Sea

Other Books

The Snow Queen

Coming Soon:
The Man Who
Beat-up Prince Charming

EXT.  INFINIA- NIGHT

Scene
opens with a horrific battle scene.  Supernatural beings of all kinds fight
desperately on a vast green field.  Trees burn.  People scream.  Weapons
flash.  Lots of quick
Gladiator-
like shots.  Pieces of hacked up torsos
sail through the air.  Then, amid the smoke and raining blood, we see our
villain striding over the bodies of the fallen.  FANG is really, really bad and
the audience needs to understand his villainy from the first.  In fact, we
should probably add some kittens to the battlefield and he can stomp on them as
he passes by.  With boots.  Because sinister guys wear boots, and hate little
kittens, and this guy is waaaay sinister.

The
camera lingers on FANG’S amazingly handsome (but sinister) face as he climbs
atop a small hill, triumphantly raising his evil-looking sword.  He lets out an
evil-sounding roar of victory as his army of evil Goblins wins the battle.  The
good citizens of Infinia weep as FANG claims the kingdom for his own evil
purposes.

It’s
all very
Lord of the Rings
-ish.  Only more awesome.  And evil.  And with
more hot guys.

Opening Scene of Film- “From Here to Infinia”

“My
Eternal-One left me for a Werewolf.”  Slade, King of the Vampires, stood in the
sterile supermarket aisle and pinpointed the exact moment his life went to
hell.  “That was the start of all my troubles.”

The
small human beside him was rearranging racks of ice cream in a freezer case. 
She glanced up like she thought she’d misheard him.  “Did you just say a
werewolf?
”
 She asked in a dubious tone.

“It’s
unbelievable, I know.”  Slade certainly understood her confusion.  “Who would
choose a Werewolf over a Vampire?  But, I assure you it’s true.  As we speak, the
two of them are living in my castle, having stolen all of my followers, my
fortune in rubies, and even my formerly faithful horses.”  Slade shook his
head, careful not to muss his golden hair.  Even in this backwards world, he
refused to give anyone the satisfaction of seeing him in a disreputable state. 
He was royalty, after all.  “Obviously, I could no longer stay on the Vampire
Isle.”

“Obviously.”

His
audience was a plain girl, who wore rectangular glasses and a strikingly
unattractive blue apron.  Her nametag read “Jane Squire: Stock Clerk.”  She
looked like any number of unremarkable servants who did servant-y things, so
Slade couldn’t quite explain his compunction to converse with her.  Kings
didn’t talk to maids, after all.  Not unless they were ordering their suits
pressed.

Something
about the woman drew his notice, though.  Possibly it was her hair.  The shade
was unexpectedly lovely, with streaks of burnished bronze mixed into the
toffee-colored curls.  Or maybe it was Jane Squire’s unique citrusy fragrance. 
The scent of her wrapped itself around Slade’s enhanced senses, soothing some
of the unrest he’d been feeling for far too long.  Or perhaps it was the girl’s
buxom shape.  She had admirable curves for a human and they were easy to see in
the unseemly pants all the women of this time period seemed to favor.  Slade
had to work to keep his eyes off her lush body.

Vampires
were gentlemen, after all.

Whatever
the reason he’d been drawn to her, Slade found that he
liked
having
someone new to talk with about this ordeal.  Though she was just a peasant,
Jane Squire was a good listener.

“I
should have seen it coming.”  Slade could now view his doomed relationship with
the wisdom of twenty/twenty hindsight and spot all the warning signs.  “Melessa
and I were not compatible.  From the minute we began planning our wedding, it
was clear.  She wanted the color scheme to be orange and pink.”  He looked at
Jane Squire, still outraged over the horrible clash of shades.  “Orange
and
pink!
  Can you imagine?  Right then, I should’ve known it was hopeless.”

The
human didn’t respond to that.  No doubt she was too appalled by the cruelty
he’d faced to form the adequate words.  She flashed him an odd look and knelt
down to load cartons of Rocky Road into the freezer beside him.

Slade
took her silence as encouragement.  “Melessa insisted we hire the supernatural
world’s most famous wedding coordinator to plan the event. 
Viktor
.”  He
spat out the name.  “Never trust a Werewolf, no matter what his references. 
Remember that, Jane Squire.”

“I’ll
certainly try.”

“I’ve
warred with Werewolves for centuries, driving most of them from our lands.  In
my mercy, I allowed some to stay, but I should have ensured they were
all
gone.  Their entire species is rotten to the core.  Had I listened to my better
judgment, this wouldn’t have happened and I’d still have my kingdom.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Two
weeks after the wedding ceremony, I walked in on Melessa and Viktor doing
unmentionable things in our royal bathtub.  Victor was wearing only my sacred
Crown
of Mikinlouse
.  Melessa wore even less than that.”  Slade scowled
at the memory.  “Far from being repentant, she told me it was
my
fault
that she’d given herself to another.  Apparently, I’m conceited and selfish,
with no idea what a woman really desires.”

Jane
Squire looked over her shoulder as if she expected someone to be hiding behind
her.  Not seeing anybody else that Slade could be talking to, she turned back
to him.  “Is this some kind of performance art thing?”  She demanded.  “Is the
theater group pranking me, because I told them I hate all the crappy vampire
scripts they’re trying to produce?”

Slade
frowned at that foolishness.  “Vampires are the noblest of all species. 
Nothing written about us is ‘crappy.’”

“If
you say so.”

“I
do say so.  I am Slade, King of the Vampires and I am
always
right.”

“Well,
your majesty
, your ‘noble’ kind has been screwing me over ever since
season one of
Dracula, Ph.D.
, so I’m going to stick with my opinion
.”

Slade
frowned.  “I know of no Vampire doctors named Dracula.  If such a man upset
you, be assured he was not part of my kingdom.”

“No. 
Dracula, Ph.D.
is a TV show about Vampires.  In grad school.  A
nighttime, soapy, teen-drama deal.  I played Clarissa, the undead wife of
Johnathan, but he was in love with Mina…”  She stopped and waved it aside. 
“Well, it doesn’t matter.  My character got beheaded after six episodes.  Vampires
are like my kryptonite.  Every time I land a role with them in the script, it
all goes south.”

Slade
didn’t have a response for any of that.  In fact, he didn’t even understand
most of the words.  Rather than admit his confusion, he quickly went on with
his story.  Over the past month, he’d noticed that humans hated answering
logical questions such as, “Are there no zombies in this land?” “Where can I
find fresh blood?” and “Why are you summoning the police?”  It seemed best not
to risk inadvertently driving Jane Squire away by asking her to explain her odd
words.  He wished her to continue talking to him.

“In
any event, after sleeping with the Werewolf, Melessa reported that she was
divorcing me and claiming the Vampire Isle for her own.  Then, she laughed.” 
It was hard to remember that part.  “It was as if she couldn’t stand the sight
of me.”

Jane
Squire’s expression changed.  “I’m sorry.  Getting dumped sucks.”

Slade
heard compassion enter her voice.  It sounded close enough to pity that he
flashed her a frown.  No human should ever pity him.  He was the greatest and
most important being ever born.

“The
hard
part
came when that idiot judge granted all her demands.” 
He informed the presumptuous woman.  “I should’ve known my enemies would take
advantage of the divorce and strip me of my power.  Because of Melessa, I lost
everything
.” 
He hesitated.  “Except, obviously, for my incredible good looks and humble
nature.”

“Obviously.” 
Jane Squire said again and moved onto the cartons of Butter Pecan.  Her tone
had gone back to being bland, instead of sympathetic.

Slade
could deal with that.

“Rather
than follow
Viktor
as my new king, I left my homeland in disgrace.  I
traveled to this backwards dimension to find my good friends.  The two people I
knew would support me in this trying time.  It was difficult, but what choice
did I have?”  Slade gave a fatalistic shrug.  “Now, I am stuck in a strange
world, directionless and without a clear destiny.”  He hesitated.  “Also, I am
unsure where to find the apples in this accursed store.”

“Aisle
one, passed the salad dressings.”  She pointed to the left.  “Listen, it can
take a long while to heal from a breakup.  You just have to hang in there and
forget about your ex, okay?”

“It’s
not the loss of Melessa that haunts me.  It is the loss of my kingdom.  Viktor
is a
Werewolf
.”  Slade slammed a fist against the freezer in agitation. 
The links of his massive silver bracelet clanged against the steel.  “How can a
Werewolf
be King of the Vampires?  It doesn’t even make any sense.  Why
am I the only one who sees that?”

“It’s
good that you realize this story isn’t very logical…”  Jane Squire trailed off,
looking at the fist-sized dent in the side of the metal case.  “Hang on, did
you just…?”

“Of
course
I realize it’s illogical!”  Slade interrupted.  “Where is the
logic in Melessa dumping me for that crown-stealing golden retriever?”  He gave
a disparaging wave of his hand.  “I’m not surprised, though.  The woman was
always difficult.  I should never have married her, regardless of our entwined
fates.  I felt that something was wrong, nearly from the first.”

Jane
Squire was quiet for a moment.  “Did you love her?”

Slade
was surprised by the question.  “Melessa was the most beautiful woman in the
universe.”  He said automatically.

“That’s
not what I asked.”

Jane
Squire didn’t understand.  The poor human seemed wholly uneducated about the
supernatural, so he tried to explain.  “Unlike your species, Vampires have only
one perfect match.  Our Eternal-Ones are the brides that destiny selects for
us.  Melessa was my one true mate.  She was supposed to give me my soul and
bring me happiness.”  He frowned.  “For some reason, that didn’t seem to
happen.  Perhaps because we never fully bonded.”

“I
don’t think you can rely on someone else to bring you happiness.  You have to
find it for yourself.”