Vampire Charming (8 page)

“Can
you stop calling him my
master
, please?”  Still, Jane found herself
looking towards the door, scanning for Slade’s golden head.

He
was gone.

Her
jaw tightened.  It wasn’t her problem.  Jane had long ago learned to avoid
unnecessary risks and Slade was
incredibly
unnecessary.  What did she
care if he was walking into a trap?  The Vampire King was nothing but a royal pain
in the ass.

Besides,
he’d be fine on his own.  To hear Slade tell it, he was the greatest warrior,
strategist, leader, and polo player the world had ever seen.  He rattled off
his spectacular accomplishments by the dozen.  With an ego like that, he should
be able to easily pick off those chubby little imps, in between saving some elderly
nuns from a fire and organizing a canned food drive for baby seals.

Except,
with an ego like that, he wasn’t
expecting
those chubby little imps to
attack.

Slade
anticipated that everyone in Infinia would welcome him as their big, blond savior. 
He wouldn’t see the Satyr brothers’ betrayal coming until it was too late.  The
guy might possess superpowers, but he had all the streets smarts of one of his
precious forlorn kittens.

On
the other hand, Jane had grown up in places like this.  A little less medieval
looking, but filled with the same kind of amoral opportunists.  It was probably
the reason she was able to at least
semi
-adjust to this craziness.  Jane
was a survivor.  She’d never had the luxury of daydreaming about happy endings.

Prince
Charming only showed up to save the
heroine
of the story.  Day-players
like Jane learned to save themselves.

She
might be confused and panicked and not sure how this nightmare had happened, but
she could quickly adapt to all kinds of bullshit.  It was what kept her alive
through her crappy childhood and an endless string of professional failures.  She
was
going
to find a way out of this mess.  Jane was a pragmatist.

Slade
wasn’t.

If
she didn’t intervene, her new “boss” would be staked out in the sun by
morning.  Something inside of her jolted at that idea.  Shit.  She couldn’t
just let Slade die.  …No matter how tempting it was.

Jane
blew out an irritated breath and looked over at Tegan.  “Alright,
fine
.” 
She muttered, feeling grouchy and put upon.  “Where are they taking him?”

“To
the forest caves, no doubt.  They often hide there.”  She leaned closer to Jane
across the counter.  “You’re not planning to go after them, are you?”  She sounded
simultaneous enthralled and scandalized by the idea.  “Perhaps, you should
forget about the Vampire.  Your problems don’t amount to a hill of beans in Infinia.”

“Oh
for God’s sake, that is an incorrectly quoted line from
Casablanca
.” 
Jane picked up the folder again and fanned through it.  “Is this just one
stolen movie quote after another?  Is that why that stupid Elf was screeching paraphrased
dialogue from
On the Waterfront
as it died?”  She made a face.  “That is
so typical.  I swear, I’m almost glad I was never cast in a major film.  All modern
scripts are just inferior rehashes.”

“You
must listen to me!”  Tegan cried.  “It would be suicide to follow the Satyr
brothers.  They are the most feared people in this whole town.”

Jane
tossed aside the screenplay, just tipsy enough to be dangerous.  “Well, that’s
because no one’s met
me
, yet.”  She polished off the last of her drink
and slammed it down on the bar.  “Now, which way to the caves?”

Tegan
swallowed, seeing her resolve.  “Follow the path. 
Always
follow the
path.  It’s the only way to get
anywhere
in the Endless Woods.”

“Really? 
Is it made of yellow bricks?”

“Please
listen.  This will save your life.  Don’t leave the trail, because it’s impossible
to navigate without it.  The forest is enchanted.  It plays tricks on you and
leads you in circles.  People have been lost forever in the Endless Woods.”

Jane
looked around the creepy bar and snorted.  “Not enough of them.”

EXT. 
THE OBSIDIAN FORTESS-NIGHT

ROLAND
rides his horse towards massive gate, knowing that this will be his first
meeting with FANG.  Everything that comes later will build off of this decisive
moment.  The cinematography should be done from a helicopter, so we can get a
feel for the grand scope of it all.  ROLAND is riding fast and looking
incredible.  Also, he’s shirtless.  He draws the Silver Sword and screams
FANG’S name at the glassy, black walls of the palace.  It all begins now…

ROLAND

(Screaming)

Fang!  Come
out and face me like a man, Werewolf!  It all begins now!

SENTRY ON
WALL

(Apologetically
clearing his throat)

Ummm...
Fang’s not here, kid.  He just left.

ROLAND

(Confused
and pissed)

He
left?
 
He can’t do that.  We’re supposed to have a confrontation!

Damn it,
this is totally fucking up my plans, dude.  Where’d he go?

SENTRY ON
WALL

(Shrugging)

He’s out
looking for some Vampire.  It all seems kinda weird, if you ask me.

Redrafted Film Script- “From Here to
Infinia”

Slade
didn’t have to see the woman to know she was nearby.

His
heightened senses lit up whenever Jane came close.  The incredible scent of her
drifted passed him and his body jolted.  Gods, that citrusy aroma would be the
death of him.  No other being smelled as good as Jane Squire.  She was just a
human, but something about her was unnaturally appealing.

He
looked off to the left, spotting Jane peeking into the mouth of the cave. 
Slade was sitting around the Satyr brothers’ fire, waiting for the rebels to
arrive.  The horned siblings were getting increasingly tense as Slade told them
of his plans for Infinia.  He wasn’t sure what was troubling them, but their
uneasy shifting was dampening the victorious mood.

The
sight of Jane lifted his spirits, again.

Slade
had been torn about leaving her alone in the tavern earlier.  On the one hand,
everything Vampire within him had revolted at the idea of letting her out of
his sight.  On the other hand, he could clearly see that Jane was close to the
breaking point.  Inter-dimensional travel had been more difficult for her than
he’d imagined.  If Slade had tried to force her to come with him to meet the
rebels, she might have bolted.

He
didn’t want that.

Even
if he could’ve quickly tracked her down after she fled, Slade wanted her to
stay with him because she believed in him.  More and more, his Dark Instincts
told him that Jane Squire was vital to his epic destiny.  That he couldn’t succeed
without her.  That he’d been led to that dreary grocery store for some greater
purpose.  He couldn’t explain it, but the feeling was growing stronger.  Keeping
Jane happy was paramount.  So, he’d reluctantly allowed her to stay behind in
the safety of the bar and now she’d come to her senses, rejoining his journey.

She
was moving closer, quietly edging towards him like she didn’t want to be
spotted by the men drinking from tankards.  When she realized she had his
attention, she put a silencing finger to her lips and made an emphatic “Get
over here!” gesture with her free palm, still staying hidden from the others.

The
woman was so odd.

But
--Christ-- he’d missed her in the hour they’d been separated.

Slade
had never actually missed anyone before and the feeling was uncomfortable.  It
was wrong to desire his second-in-command.  Their working relationship would
suffer.  Rationally, he knew that, but his Dark Instincts didn’t care.  They
just wanted to drown in the tart fragrance of her hair and the infinite color
of her stormy eyes.  The longer he was around Jane Squire, the more insistent
their wanting became.  Never had his Dark Instincts been so hard to ignore.

It
was also difficult to ignore the rocks hitting him.

Pebbles
rained down when Slade didn’t move fast enough to suit her purposes.  Jane
Squire delighted in heaving small objects at him.  She had no idea how a
subordinate was supposed to act.

“Jane,
what are you doing?”  He demanded, rubbing a sore spot on his skull.  “Stop
pelting me with stones and come sit by the fire.”

Jane
Squire’s palm slapped against her forehead in frustration.

All
four Satyr brothers turned to look at her, their beady eyes narrowing.  “Who’s
that?”  Cal hissed.  Or possibly it was Hal.  Or Val.  Or Al.  All four of them
looked identical, so it was hard to tell.

“That
is my second-in-command, Jane Squire.”  Slade waved her forward.  “Welcome,
Jane.  We are discussing our battle strategy.  What know you of Werewolf
weapons?”

She
stepped forward, staring up at the ceiling like she was praying for patience.  “Werewolf
weapons?”  She said tightly.  “Not much.  But, at least you still have the golf
clubs.  They’re
bound
to come in handy.  God only knows when your rebel
forces might need to caddy for you.”

“That’s
true.”  He patted the bag beside him.  “I don’t think golf clubs are made of
silver, though.”  He turned back at the Satyr Brothers.  “Are golf clubs made
of silver?”

The
four goat-men exchanged confused glances, like they had no idea what to say to
that perfectly clear question.  They often looked that way when Slade spoke.

“I
was being
sarcastic
, Slade.  Do they look like fucking golfers to you?”  Jane
snapped.  “Why do you even still have that stupid bag?”

“Amalie
told me it will be useful and I trust her word.  She is a powerful witch.”

Jane
let out an agitated breath, like she was trying to calm down.  “We need to
talk.”  She bit-off in an exaggeratedly level tone.  “Like
a lot
.”

“Of
course!”  He smiled at her, pleased that she always called him “Slade.”  Most
beings addressed him as “your majesty” or “King Slade,” as was proper with
underlings.  But, Jane was his
friend.
  He enjoyed the fact that she
used his given name.  Her voice gave it a sultry sound that fed into his
bloodstream.  “I am always eager to hear your ideas.”  He patted the rock next
to him.  “Come here.”

“I
meant alone.”  She persisted with a determined expression on her face.  “You
and me.  Outside. 
Alone
.”

“Yes,
but…”

“
Now.
”

Several
of the brothers frowned at each other, apparently concerned that a mere servant
would speak to their new monarch in such a disrespectful way.  Slade understood
their feelings, but he was too content to care about Jane’s continued
impertinence.  The insecurities that had plagued him of late went silent when
she was beside him.  Jane was the one person he was totally sure of.  She would
guide him to his destiny.  He knew it.

Plus,
she smelled the
incredible
.

“Uh,
Vampire.”  Hal or possibly Al began in a worried voice.  “I mean,
King
Vampire.  I don’t think it’s such a good idea for you to leave.  Stay here and
let us make you an offer you can’t refuse.”

Jane
made a scoffing sound.  “Jesus, if this becomes some kind of
Godfather
porno, you’re on your own, Slade.”

He
wasn’t sure what to make of that or of Hal/Al’s proposition.  “It’s fine,
minion.”  Slade assured the man.  “Wait here.”  He bounded over to Jane, even
though he should’ve moved at a more aloof and regal pace.  He’d
missed
her while they were separated.  How did she make him miss her so much?  And was
he going crazy or did she not look so plain in the moonlight?  “What did you
wish to speak about?”  He lowered his voice.  “Women troubles?”

“Get
over here, you gigantic moron.”  Jane seized hold of his arm and tugged him into
the night.  “Have you completely lost what little mind you have?”  The cave was
set on a small incline.  The golf clubs clattered as she dragged him down the
hill.

“No,
I…”

Jane
herded him passed the tree line, so they were hidden from view.  “Did you ever
consider that the strange men who pick you up in bars
aren’t
people you
want to go home with?  Huh?”  She gestured back towards the cave.  “You can’t trust
them.  They’re working for the Werewolf.  And --Jesus--I cannot
believe
I just said that.”

Slade’s
eyebrows compressed.  “No.  The Satyr Brothers support the rebels.  They wish
to defeat Fang and help me claim the throne.  They are very interested in my
plans to unite Infinia.”

“Says
who?  Them?  Because the half-naked bartender says they’re notorious bad guys. 
They’ve lured you here to sell your pretty, empty head to that Fang guy’s
soldiers.”