Vampire Charming (2 page)

Slade
crossed his arms over his chest.  “For lesser beings like you, perhaps that is
true.  But, I’m King of the Vampires.  Happiness should be
given
to me. 
It is my right.”  No, there was only one explanation for the disastrous state
of his life.  “I believe a Dark Fairy has hexed me.  They are treacherous
creatures, often in league with Werewolves.”

“Well,
that’s certainly an exciting theory.”  Jane Squire moved to open another
cardboard box full of ice cream cartons.  “Okay, I’m going to humor you and
give you some real advice.  I get that you feel like your heart and soul are
missing.  Break-ups are hard.”

“My
heart is still in place.  It is my soul that remains lost.”  And likely always
would be, since he’d divorced his Eternal-One and no one else could restore it.

“Uh-huh. 
Well, I think this Melessa girl leaving you might be for the best.  Obviously,
you two weren’t meant to be.  Maybe this crisis is going to lead you to some
bigger plan.”

“Bigger
plan?  What could be bigger than being King of the Vampires?”

“I’m
not sure.”  She admitted.  “It does sound like a pretty cushy job.  But, when
bad stuff happens, I like to think that there’s a greater reason for it.  Like
maybe we have to deal with all these problems, in order to find our
real
purpose.”  She turned to nod at him.  “For instance, I didn’t plan to be
working the nightshift at Iverson’s when I was thirty.  I always wanted to be
an actress.”

Slade
looked around at the dingy linoleum and endless rows of human food.  “This is a
dismal place.”  He agreed.  “It’s no wonder you wished to flee.  But, your
appearance is too ordinary to be an actress.”

Gray
eyes narrowed.  “A lot of casting people agreed with you.”  She said stiffly.

“I
have much wisdom.”

“Jesus,
why am I even talking to you?”

“I
was wondering why I graced you with my presence as well.  I saw you here and I
felt compelled to approach.”  It was like he’d already known her.  Like he’d
been looking for her, in fact.  Slade couldn’t explain it.  “It’s most unusual
for a human to capture my attention.”

“Wow,
aren’t I a lucky girl?”  She muttered.  “Anyway, my point is, I’m stocking
shelves instead of being a movie star, but that’s okay.  I know that I can work
here and save up my money and buy a house.  That’s what I
really
want.”

Slade
frowned.  “You have no home?  Nowhere to belong?”  He knew that feeling well.

“Well,
I have an apartment, but one day I’ll have a
real
house.”  She
brightened.  “It’s something I’ve been working towards all my life.  A home.  I
can close my eyes and picture it in my head.”  To demonstrate, she shut them tight. 
“It will have a walk-in closet, and flowers lining the walkway, and a bedroom
big enough for a queen-sized bed.”

“In
my castle, I had an elevator to reach the top stories of my closet.”  Slade
told her, studying the long length of her lashes against her cheeks.  “My bedroom
was large enough to accommodate my indoor ski jump and the fountain in my
garden sprayed pink water to nourish my collection of giant butterflies.  How
could I ever picture a better home than
that?
”

Jane
Squire’s eyes popped open again and she flashed him a glower.  “Giant
butterflies? 
Really?
”

“In
the springtime, they flutter their wings and create rainbows so beautiful that
all who see them weep with joy.”  He sighed.  “They were the most treasured of
all pets.  Of course, they fled the Vampire Isle when Fang took over.  They
only follow
true
kings.”

The
woman didn’t seem impressed.  “
Anyway
,” she repeated pointedly,
“sometimes unexpected things happen to us and we have to deal with them. 
That’s
what I’m saying.  It’s not always fun.  For instance, occasionally arrogant
customers pester me with their insane stories and I have to pretend to be nice
to them.”

“Many
humans are oblivious to how annoying they are.”  Slade concurred.

“But,
I just bite my tongue and remind myself of what I’m working towards.  Beside,
things could be worse.  At least, I haven’t gone crazy, yet.”  She shot him a
sideways look.  “Not like
some
poor bastards.”

“You
have simple desires, Jane Squire.”  Slade envied her lack of greater calling. 
“Most humans do.  It’s part of the limitation of your species.  But, I am so
much grander.  I am a
king
.  No amount of stacking food items will
satisfy my true destiny.”

“Well,
I’m sorry I couldn’t be more help, then.”  Jane Squire finished arranging the
ice cream and got to her feet.  Dusting her palms together, she gave him a
dismissive smile.  “Have a great evening, sir.”  She headed off passed the
frozen pizzas.

Where
was she going?

Slade
quickly fell into step beside her.  “I come from a long line of kings, you
know.”  He announced.  “Both sides of my family were the highest in their
lands.  My father ruled the Vampire Isle for millennia.  My mother was a
princess from the Enchanted Realm of Melody, before she was lost forever in the
Sea of Silence.”

“Some
silence would be good, right now.”

“It
was not good for Mother.  We never saw her again.”  Slade barely remembered the
woman, but she must have been amazing.  She’d contributed half of his DNA,
after all.  “In any case, majesty is in my blood.  And, to a Vampire, blood is
all.”

“Uh-huh.” 
Jane Squire said.

It
wasn’t much of an answer, but Slade would take what he could get.  He was
unwilling to let Jane Squire end the conversation.  This unexceptional human
was the first person who’d really
listened
to him in ages.  Karalynn and
Damien tried, but how could two people so blissfully in love understand Slade’s
misery?

Jane
Squire’s life seemed adequately dreary enough to comprehend his despair,
though.  This store was filled to the brim with depressing people and things. 
Perhaps that was why Slade felt driven to speak with her.

“I
am also a hero.”  He continued, awaiting her impressed reaction to that happy
news.

She
gave a dismissive snort.  “Sure ya are.”

“You
don’t believe me?”

“I
don’t believe in heroes.”

Slade
didn’t know what to make of such a preposterous statement.  “How can you not
believe in heroes?”

“Because
I live in the real world and not inside a fairytale.”

“There
are no heroes in this world?”  Dear gods.  No wonder everyone here was so
unhappy.  “But, without heroes, how do you…?”

“Jane.”
A rat-like man in a blue apron interrupted Slade’s baffled question.  The human
male glowered disapprovingly, the flickering, buzzing lights overhead
reflecting off his bald head and giving it a moist sheen.  Slade was unsure why
the citizens of this world wanted their buildings filled with electricity. 
Most of them looked better in the dark.  “You can’t be hanging out with your
friends during business hours.”  The man complained, gesturing towards Slade. 
“We pay you to do a job around here.”

“He’s
not my friend, Mr. Anderson.  He’s a
customer
.”

“No,
I have decided you are worthy of my friendship.”  Slade offered magnanimously. 
He gave the other man a decisive nod.  “I am Slade, King of the Vampires and
Jane Squire’s dearest friend.”

Jane
Squire closed her eyes like she was in pain.

Mr.
Anderson jotted something down on his clipboard, his pointy face still set in a
sour pinch.  “This is the last time I’m warning you, Jane.  Keep your
freeloading theater buddies out of here or you’re fired.”

Slade
felt the need to defend the woman.  “There is no need to be so harsh, human. 
She has organized much ice cream for you and worked hard this night.  Apologize
to the lady.”

Jane
Squire shot him a strange look.

Mr.
Anderson’s beady eyes somehow squinted up even smaller.  “Watch it Fabio or
I’ll boot your pretty boy ass right out the door.”  He went stomping off
towards the cash registers.

“Dickhead.” 
Jane Squire muttered under her breath.

Slade’s
eyebrows soared.  Surely that tiny male hadn’t just threatened the greatest
Vampire warrior ever born.  He glanced down at Jane Squire, thinking he must
have misunderstood.  “What is a Fabio?  Did he just challenge me to a duel?”

All
Vampires possessed a more primitive side that they had to suppress.  Unlike so
many supernatural creatures, Vampires overcame their animalistic impulses
through reason and intrinsic honor.  It was a constant struggle, though, even
for someone of Slade’s remarkable abilities.  The Dark Instincts didn’t care
about his innate nobility.  They just told him to chase after Mr. Anderson and
break his bones, one by one, for the insult.

And
for mistreating Jane Squire.

“Ignore
Anderson.  He’s just jealous that you’re so,” she scanned Slade up and down, “
shiny
,
while he’s just an ugly, bitter, little troll.”

“He’s
a Troll?”  Slade relaxed.  “That explains it, then.  They are always
disagreeable creatures.”

Jane
Squire let out a tired sounding sigh and led the way into produce.  “Do you
mind if I ask you a personal question, sir?”

“You
may call me Slade, human.  I have honored you with my friendship.”

“Are
you under a doctor’s care, Slade?”

Slade
brightened.  “Damien is a doctor.  We used to be mortal enemies, but now I’m
staying at his home.”

“And
I’m guessing his ‘guest room’ has padded walls, right?”  She pinched the bridge
of her nose, knocking her glasses askew.  “Do you know your doctor’s cell
number or should I call the hospital or…?”

“Damien
has given me the number for his wireless phone machine.”  Slade searched his
pockets.  “His wife, Karalynn, wrote it down for me, along with their
address.”  He handed Jane Squire the yellow slip of paper.  “She was concerned
that I would become lost in this city.  I have been to Chicago before, but not
in this century.  Where I come from, it is 1894.”

“That’s
a new one.”  Jane Squire studied the row of numbers.  “Well, why don’t I give
Doctor Damien a call and he can come get you, before you lose me my job.”

Slade
would think she’d welcome an opportunity to find employment elsewhere.  He’d
only known the woman ten minutes and he already saw that she was wasted here. 
After all, some instinct had pushed a man as mighty as himself to talk to her. 
He still didn’t know the precise reason, but it surely meant she was more
important than the rest of the humans in this tedious place.

“I
have no wish to return to that small apartment.”  He informed her.  “It has
naught but six bedrooms.  I am used to more palatial living arrangements.”  He
hesitated.  “Besides, I needed to get out into the night and escape those
‘commercials.’  Buying human food seemed a welcome distraction.”

“TV
commercials?”

“Yes,
one came on the picture box, showing photographs of sad kittens and asking for
money to save their small lives.  The sorrowful music and broken whiskers were
heartrending.  Of course, I wished to help.”  Slade shook his head.  “I called
the kittens to pledge many rubies, but they only take donations from a Card
Master.  I do not qualify as a Card Master.”

“They
wanted your Master Card number?”  Jane Squire guessed.

He
nodded.  “I explained that I was a King, which
must
be a higher status
than whatever a Card Master is, but it was to no avail.  My spirits were much
dampened.  No doubt the poor kittens have starved to death by now.  Your world
is filled with so much misery.

“That’s
true.”  She studied him for a moment, looking like she wanted to say something
else.  “You like cats, huh?”

“Oh
yes.  My grandmother is a cat.”

Jane
Squire gave a startled laugh at that statement.  She quickly tried to hide it,
casting a wary glance towards the front of the store and Mr. Anderson, but she
couldn’t contain her mirth.  Her gray eyes danced with amusement, her mouth
spreading into a wide grin.  It completely changed her unremarkable face.  When
she smiled, her ordinary features were transformed into something approaching
pretty.

Slade
felt a surge a satisfaction that he’d made the woman happy.  He wasn’t sure
how
he’d done that, but it was still a triumph.  So many times, people smiled
at him without meaning it.  They just wanted something from him.  Jane Squire
was genuinely delighted.

“Sorry.” 
She struggled to regain her composure.  “I just didn’t expect you to say your
grandmother was a cat.  I probably should have, given the rest of our
conversation, but it caught me off guard.  How does that work exactly?”

“She
is a shape shifter from beyond the stars.  Not many know of her secret
identity.”

“I’ll
bet.”

“Though
she has forsaken me to live in my ex-palace with my ex-wife on the ex-isle of
my birth, I still love my grandmother and her feline brethren.”  He paused. 
“Traitor that she is.”