Vicious (6 page)

Ewan lingered on the outskirts, and
at one point I raised my head from where it rested against Damon’s chest and met his eyes. Only then did I give him the broadest smile, hoping that my teeth were glittering in the moonlight, white and sharp. He scowled and looked away.

“It’s past ten,” Damon murmured into my hair. “Where are you going to sleep tonight?” I looked
up, he had a playful smile on his face.

“I thought I might ask you
r Dad if I could crash on the couch,” I teased back. Well, I hoped that it sounded like teasing, I wasn’t used to this kind of stuff. Damon responded by kissing me. Even though we were surrounded by people, in that instant I felt like it was only us. Maybe it was the security of being held in his arms, or maybe his status in this group of people. Whatever it was, for the first time since David’s death, I felt like I had a type of power.

I wanted to hang on to that.

After he broke off his kiss, he grinned down at me. “Knowing my Dad, he’ll make me give up my bed to you anyway. And then I’d sneak in with you in the middle of the night so we may as well just share my bed. It’s going to happen anyway.”

“We’ll see,” I said. That’
s when I became aware of the girl staring at me. She was the one from the other night, who Connie said slept with lots of Damon’s friends. I could feel her eyes boring into me. I pushed away from Damon slightly, straightened my back and lifted my chin.

“Have we met?” I asked.

She didn’t shy away from the challenge, meeting me head on. But before she could speak, Damon interrupted.

“Violet, this is Julia. She used to go to our school.”

I waved my fingers at her. “Hi, Julia.”

Her painted mouth twisted up into an unfriendly smile.
“Hi, Violet.” Her eyes moved from me to Damon, and even in the dark I could see her gaze soften. This girl had it bad.

“So, are you two old friends?”

Her eyes flicked back to me. “We’ve known each other forever.”

Damon pulled me in closer to him.
“We’re gonna go,” he told his friends. I wasn’t really listening because I had Julia’s eyes on me. She was sick with jealousy; I could tell. As we drove away, I could imagine her watching us until the car lights disappeared.

“Is she your girlfriend?” I asked him once we were close to his house.

He gave a small laugh. “That’s just, Julia. We fuck every so often. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“Not to you.”

He shrugged. “That’s not my problem.”

The inexplicable affection I had started to feel for him di
ed at that moment, memories of my mother’s insane love and desperation surfaced. A coldness went through me as I stared at the black road ahead of us. I didn’t say a word to him once we quietly snuck into his house, not when he made me come, and not when he turned off the lights and pulled me against his hard chest. I was glad that I had remembered that this was just a game. None of it was real. Like all men, he was just a means to an end.

His breathing changed, indicati
ng that he was asleep. I lay awake for a long time, sober now. Through a gap in the curtain, the full moon glowed. I kept my eyes on it until I couldn’t stay awake any longer.

Mr Lucas cooked us breakfast when we finally rose. He was a plumber and had an early morning call out so had been up for hours
. He piled bacon on my plate and poured coffee. “Same girl two nights in a week? That’s a miracle.”

Damon scowled. His Dad grinned and ruffled his hair which made Damon scowl even more. “Shut up, Dad. You’re embarrassing Violet.”

But I was laughing, and eventually Damon cracked a smile as well. “He’s a dick,” he muttered to me quietly. But I could tell that he didn’t really think that. He held great affection for his father, and it was refreshing to see. This scene between them made me forget my annoyance with Damon the night before, this was like a different side of him. He was lighter and softer. This was not the asshole I knew by reputation. This was the devoted son.

We didn’t talk on the way home, once again the radio was loud and he kept his eyes on the road. But once we pulled into the Malones’ drive, he switched off the engine. I looked at him expectantly
, and he seemed to hesitate before cupping my cheek and pulling me toward him. It took me a moment before I started to kiss him back. The weirdness soon drifted away as my eyes closed, and I just let myself enjoy his mouth.

I nearly pouted in disappointment when he pulled away. I had to blink to remember myself. “Bye,” I whispered.

“Bye, Violet.”  His hand slowly slid from my face, taking the warmth with it and leaving an empty feeling. I opened the door and stepped out. I just stood there watching his car reverse out like some pathetic love struck teenager.

I scowled at myself once his car had roared down the street and out of sight. I was acting like a dick.
He was a prick; it was stupid to feel like this. Sighing, I walked in the front door. I was confronted with the sight of Ewan standing in his boxers. He scowled at me, and I tensed, steeling myself for whatever he was going to inflict on me. But he didn’t do anything. He bit into his apple, glaring at me before he headed down the hall.

I waited until I heard his door slam shut,
and then I calmly walked to my own bedroom. After quietly closing my door, I threw myself down on the bed and muffled my delighted scream in my pillow. I was awesome. Everything was falling into place. Crazy Ewan was falling into line as planned.

And I had let go.

At school, I had been holding my breath waiting to catch sight of Damon. I didn’t know what I would do, or what I would say when I saw him. All I knew was that as I got ready that morning, I had something
finally to look forward to. I felt stupid for acting like that, but I couldn’t help it.

It was at lunch that I saw him.
I was standing in the hall talking to Connie when he walked up with a group of his friends. I looked at him and waited. His eyes flicked briefly to me, and I sucked in a breath, ready to speak.

But he just kept walking. There was no smile, no wink,
no nod of the head. There was no acknowledgement whatsoever that he even knew who I was, let alone cared. I stared after him, hating the disappointment that seemed to suffocate me.

Someone shoulder barged me and sent me spinning into a locker with a crash. I whirled around, ready to have a go at
whoever it was, but I saw Leon’s blond head disappearing ahead, I stopped and just rubbed my sore shoulder.

“You’ve turned into a pussy,” Connie told me. “You could’ve taken him.”

“Shut up,” I muttered.

And all week it went on like that. Sour glances from Leon, and complete
silence from Damon. School sucked.

Friday afternoon,
Connie and I lay on the grass staring up at the sky. Connie was stoned and I knew that she could stare at the clouds for hours. I wasn’t, but I could stare at them anyway. I saw rabbits and pigeons, and thought that it would be more fun if I were stoned as well.

But I didn’t because that stuff made me vomit, I couldn’t even stand the cigarette smoke that floated my way. It seemed wrong for people to smoke at a park, like they were polluting everything around them. I wondered if there were a conspiracy to pollute everyone and everything.

When I shared my theory with Connie, she laughed. “Man, you really are fucking nuts sometimes.”

I kept my smile frozen on my face
, and my body relaxed. I didn’t want her to know that she had struck a nerve, but she changed the subject anyway.

“How’s the plan?” she asked.

“It was a stupid idea,” I said to the sky. It had been a week since I had slept with Damon, and I had heard nothing since. It didn’t just piss me off; it actually hurt. Not that I would ever admit that. I would keep my humiliation to myself just like everything else. I just had to hope that those things wouldn’t leak out when the unravelling continued.

“You’re right;
it was a stupid idea,” Connie said lazily. I turned onto my side to watch her, more of her toffee colored foundation had been piled onto her face but the bruising around her jawline was still evident.

“You know what else
is a stupid idea? Raymond,” I told her.

She sighed. “Raymond is stupid.
Full stop.” She turned to face me now. “But he hasn’t served his purpose yet so don’t lecture me.”

I shrugged. “Whatever, I don’t care.”

“Hey,” She sat up. “Look what he bought me to make up for it.” She held out her hand to show the dark red stones that encircled her finger and flickered in the sun. “Man, I love it when guys buy me pretty things.”

I snorted.
“Yeah, because it makes up for all the bad stuff.” I grabbed my bag and got to my feet. “I’ve got to get going and start dinner. You coming?”

She shook
her head, lying down again. “No, I’m going to stay here. It’s nice here.”

I left her in her stoned haze imagining a better life.

“You’re late,” Diana snapped as I walked in the door. She pushed a potato peeler at me. “Get started. Glynn and I are going out tonight, and I don’t want to be late.”

That was surprising. Usually Diana was at her church
, and Glynn didn’t move his lethargic bulk from his spot in front of the TV. “Where?” I asked. “Is it a special occasion?”

She smiled. “Glynn’s joining me at church.” Then she barked out a laugh. “Hey, miracles do happen!” I smiled and turned away to start on the potatoes. I wondered how much nagging it had taken to get him to join her. He didn’t seem overly excited about the idea as we ate dinner. He kept straining his head to watch the TV as he ate. Diana
had actually smeared lipstick over her thin lips; the orange clashed with her yellow teeth.

“You look nice,” I told her as we cleaned the kitchen.
And she did look nice, for her. She had even put on tiny gold earrings that peaked out underneath her hair. She smiled in response.

“Thanks, Violet.” She took a breath. “Well, it’s time to get going.” She lowered her voice.  “I hope he doesn’t embarrass me in front of the pastor.”

“I’m sure he won’t,” I told her, and she paused and watched me for a second.

“You can be a real sweetheart sometimes, you know that?”

I was stumped for a second before I stuttered out. “Thanks.” That was the kindest thing that she had ever said to me. I watched as she nagged him out the door, her voice fading as it closed behind them. I almost felt sorry for her. She obviously thought that him joining her at church might rekindle or repair their marriage.

I could hear Ewan’s music thumping down the hall, and for once I had the living room to myself. I could have watched TV or something, but everything here seemed so faded an
d old that the room depressed me, so I returned to my bedroom. It was still sparse, but at least it was mine. I lay on my bed and started to do homework, but it was boring, and I soon found myself drifting off to sleep.

I woke up to a heavy hand around
my throat. I tried to buck up and away, but Ewan sat on my chest, straddling me and effectively pinning my arms “Shh,” he whispered. His cock was out, and he was stroking himself over my face.

“Stop it,” I managed to say, but I was scared that all the air was going to be cut off soon
, and I just concentrated on trying to breathe and not panic.

“Almost done,” his voice was shaky, and he jerked suddenly, and then kept jerking. I let out a whine and tried to turn my trapped head away, but he wasn’t having any of that. “No.” He released his dick and lightly tapped my face with his hand. “Keep your fucking eyes open, bitch or I’ll make you take it in your mouth.” He went back to stroking himself, and the jerking started again.
The cum spurted out over me in revolting strings, and I kept my mouth clamped shut as some of it hit my lips. He gave a sigh as he finished, and relaxed into a smile. “Now, that wasn’t so bad was it?” Another slap was delivered to the side of my face that wasn’t covered in his semen, and I almost whimpered at that. But he released my throat, and I took long dragging, panicked breaths of air. “This is our secret remember, tell anyone and I’ll kill you.” He leaned over me and dragged his tongue over my face for good measure before getting to his feet and strolling casually out the door, his whistling continued down the hall.

I pounced up into a sitting po
sition, reaching for tissues as I dry heaved. I wiped at the disgusting fluid. To my horror, sobs started to escape from me. My whole body shook with them, and the sounds of them were raw like something vicious was scraping at my insides. Then I imagined Ewan listening and grinning, and I bit down hard on my hand to stop them. That night, I pushed the set of drawers in front of the door and plotted my next move.

Raymond and Connie were going to another party, so I tagged along. I needed to have one last try at Damon…or I needed to knife Ewan in his sleep. But the former seemed easier. Connie’s eyes were puffy like she’d been crying, but she didn’t want to talk about it, and she visibly relaxed more when Raymond disappeared with some of his customers.