Vicious (8 page)

“Come on, let’s get out of her
e.” He guided me toward the car, resting me against it while he grabbed a towel out of the trunk and started to wipe at my hair and my face. My blood mingled with the green of the slushy. Only then was I aware of my cheek stinging.

We drove up to the look
out in silence. The moment the car stopped, I was out and running toward the rocks.

“Violet!”
He called after me, but I didn’t stop. I jumped up on the rocks and gazed down at the city below. “Violet!”

His hand gr
ipped mine, and I turned to meet his eyes. “What?”

“I thought you were going to jump.”

I looked back down the cliff. “Do you think I’d fly?”

He yanked me off the rock, pulling me behind him until we were at a safe dist
ance from the cliff edge. “Don’t talk crazy.” Then his eyes softened. “Are you okay?”

I bit my lip
hard so I would feel more pain. “I deserved it,” I said in a cracking voice. “I did a bad thing.”

He nodded slightly. “You told me. You were
drunk, and you told me, remember?”

“He’s dead because of me.”

He pulled out his cigarettes, sucking hard on one as he lit it before passing it to me. “Here. It might help.”

I inhaled, coughed, and inhaled some more. “It doesn’t work,” I told him between coughs as I passed it back.

He smiled. “Yeah. But it distracted you.”

I kept coughing while he laughed besi
de me. “Distract me another way, but not with sex. I’m all gross and slushy covered. Tell me something about you. Something that I didn’t know.”

He pulled me down to sit with him on a smaller boulder, one that was a safe dist
ance from the edge. His arm went around my shoulder. “Okay. My Dad isn’t my real dad.”

“Really?
You’re so close.”

“My Mom
married him when I was eleven, and he’s treated me like his own ever since.” His Mom had passed away a couple of years ago; there was a photo of her on his dresser, but it was normally covered by a mess of clothes.

“Where’s your real dad?”

“He doesn’t live here. I haven’t spoken to him in a couple of years. He tried, after the divorce, but I didn’t really want to know him. He’s involved in some bad shit, and my Mom wanted to keep me away from that life. That’s why she moved here.” He took a breath. “He called me a couple of months ago, he wants me to go and stay with him.” His brow furrowed slightly, almost like something pained him. I squeezed his hand for comfort. His eyes flicked to me, and his lips quirked up in a slight smile. “Did I distract you?”

“Yeah.
But now you seem sad.”

He laughed. “Do I? Come on.” He stood and offered me his hand. “Let’s go get you cleaned up.”

Back at his house, after I showered, he sat me on the vanity and dabbed carefully at my cheek. I hissed as it stung. “That bitch got you
good.
It probably won’t scar though, luckily. I know how vain you are.”

He waited a second for my reaction before grinning. I punched him on the arm. “Be nice. I’m wounded here.” Then a thought occurred to me. “You’re not going to go live
with your real father, are you? You’re not leaving here?”

He paused as he screwed the cap on the antiseptic cream, and slowly he lifted his eyes to meet mine. “Would you care if I did?”

I shrugged. “Maybe. I don’t know.”

He opened his mouth, then as if thinking better
about what he was going to say; he closed it again and continue putting the cream back in the first aid-kit.

“What?” I asked. “What were you going to say?”

He licked his lips and took a breath. “Sometimes you act so cold. It’s hard to know if you want to be with me or not, or if we’re just screwing because you’re bored.”

I sat frozen there, this was unexpected. The seconds stretched on
, and the silence became awkward. He broke eye contact first. “Never mind.” He clicked the lid back on the first aid kit. “I’m supposed to meet up with the guys later. I better drop you home.”

I knew I should have said something, but my tongue felt thick and lethargic in my mouth. And truthfully, I didn’t know what to say. We still sat in awkward silence on the way home, but as he pulled the car to a stop, I leaned over and kissed him on the mouth. He hesitated,
then started kissing me back. We only stopped when Glynn pulled his truck up beside us in the drive.  We looked into each other’s eyes; the urge to say something was strong but he spoke first. “I’ll see you later.”

“Okay.” I gave him a tight smile before getting out of the car. Glynn met me on t
he path to the house.  His eyes raked over my ruined cheek, but he didn’t say anything. If Diana noticed, she didn’t say anything either.

Only Ewan mentioned it. He laughed and asked, “Did Damon do that to you?”
His own face sported a blackened eye and bloodied lip. It was an improvement.

I gave the most contemptuous glare I could. “Don’t fucking talk to me.”

I hid
in my bedroom for the rest of the day and tried to block out the memory of Leon staring at me with such hatred. I was his first kiss. I had been interested in what it would be like to kiss such a nice boy. He had helped me with my homework, and I had cupped his chin and pressed my lips against his. I wasn’t really sure why I did it, maybe I thought there would be a spark from kissing someone so good and kind. But there was nothing, and the next day I slept with his father for the first time.

How Damon had acted with me haunted me as well. Agitation coursed through me with every movement I made. I didn’t want to risk losing him. So I called Connie and asked where the party would be tonight. When they picked me up, Raymond was moody, and Connie was silent. At the party, as Connie stepped into the light, I could see bruising on her swollen cheek.

“Is it worth it?” I asked her quietly.

“I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore.” The sadness on her face was foreign, I was used to feisty Connie, but this girl seemed so defeated. “Let’s just get drunk so I won’t have to think anymore.” A small smile flickered. “I’ve got bourbon.”

We found a spot
to sit in and stayed there, mixing our drinks while I kept craning my neck to see past people and try and spy Damon. So far, there was no joy. Connie was becoming more animated the more she drank. She seemed to forget her marked face and her problems. I also forgot about the wounds on my own face which still stung every time I laughed too hard. I didn’t care though. Connie’s cheap bourbon was doing the job, making me feel lighter, happier, as if I could fly to the moon.

My drunk
en tongue made the mistake of sharing that thought with Connie. She laughed a hyena laugh. “You’re crazy, you know that?” I froze, and then shrugged it off. It was just a saying. I needn’t take it to heart. But then she grabbed my arm and looked me in the eye, her face suddenly serious. “No, I mean it. You are crazy. People don’t see it because of the act that you put on, but I can tell.” She nodded. “I can tell. But that’s okay. I like you anyway.” Then she collapsed back into that hyena laugh, and I let myself laugh with her.

But Damon still nagged on my mind
. When Lane and a few of his other friends came into view, I felt a weight lift because he would be here somewhere. “I’m going to go find him!” I yelled to Connie and got to my feet somewhat unsteadily. She just nodded, closing her eyes and moving her head to the music, in a way that probably had rhythm in her mind.

I bumped into people and my drink splashed over me. But that was okay. Other people’s drinks splashed over me as well, but that was all right because it was probably my fault when I walked into them. I didn’t care. I just cared about finding Damon. Lane had disappeared, but I spotted Ewan. He was better than nothing.

“Where’s Damon?” I clutched onto his arm for support, half expecting him to shove me away to fall on my ass. But he didn’t, he just looked down at me with his customary sneer. “Where’s Damon?” I repeated, not leaving until I found out.

He laughed at me, his nasty laugh, but I didn’t care. I only cared about Damon.  He leaned down low to speak into my ear. “He went upstairs.”

Good. “Good.” I patted him on the arm, nearly stumbling as I turned.

His hand reached out and steadied me.
“Careful now.”

“Thanks,” I muttered, heading away. I weaved my way past the people congregating on the stairs before opening the first door I
saw. There was a couple in there and their heads twisted in to glare at me.

“Sorry.”

The next room was empty, but on the third, I struck gold, or coal, or whatever Santa put in your sack when you were bad. Damon’s head was buried between Julia’s legs. I stood still, frozen like another slushy had been hurled at me. I watched like my eyes had been stitched open, and I couldn’t close them. He moved his head out from her most intimate place and began to kiss her stomach, working his way up so his mouth closed over her nipple as she played with the other one herself. Little moans escaped her mouth, and her eyes were shut. I wished she’d shut that pouty mouth of hers as well. I even watched as he entered her and began to move slowly within her.

That’s when I snapped back to reality. Shocked into sobriety, my movements were graceful and silent as I took a step back and slowly pulled the door closed to block them from sight. My breathing was steady and unnaturally calm as I made my way down the stairs. I sidestepped everyone with ease as I headed out to the back
yard. The weather was cool so not as many people were out there. I found a step to sit on and hugged myself, the night was cloudy, and the moon was not in view. It seemed colder without it.

I had only myself to blame. I knew something like this would happen if I continued to act cold and aloof, but I couldn’t help it. And I wouldn’t fool myself anymore by saying that I wanted to be with him just because of the protection that he offered
. Screw Ewan, I could handle him. It was
Damon
I wanted. I’d fucked it up.

But maybe it wasn’t too late to fix it.

I made my way back to Connie. She was sitting with Raymond and some other guys, and Lane was one of them.

“Did you find him?” Connie asked between hiccups. She was snuggled up against Raymond’s arm and couldn’t have looked happier. I saw Lane watching me with interest.

“No, I’m sure he’ll turn up though.” My lie slithered off my lips, slippery and convincing.

“There he is!” Connie screeched, pointing so no one could be mistaken that he was indeed there. Julia was following him, but they weren’t, thankfully, holding hands. Lane waved him over, and Damon’s eyes widened slightly when he saw me there, but he didn’t let anything else slip. I plastered a beauty queen smile on my face. It was
show time. If he wanted soft and warm, that’s what he would get.

“Hey! I’ve been looking all over for you. I missed you.” Ignoring Julia, I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his cheek. I couldn’t bring myself to kiss him on the mouth knowing that he had it on Julia’s nasty snatch half an hour before. He paused for a moment, before embracing me and kissing the top of my head.

“Yeah?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah.
Can we go somewhere?” I injected a small amount of hope in my voice. It was foreign, given that I had quelled any hope that dared to raise its ugly head long ago.

“Sure,” he replied. “Lead the way.”

I took him upstairs, well aware of Julia watching. I caught her eyes briefly but could not read what was there. Damon’s hand was trapped in mine, and I pulled him through an open doorway and into an empty bedroom. It was the same bedroom that he had been in with Julia, and I gritted my teeth as I sat on the soiled bed.

He didn’
t sit beside me though. His hand still outstretched and entwined in mine; he stood looking down at me. I flashed him another smile that Miss Universe would be proud of, and finally he sunk down beside me. I squeezed his hand tight; there would be no escaping me.

“Why are you staring?” He looked at me warily.

“I just think you’re pretty to look at.”

He gave a disgusted look. “Boys aren’t pretty.”

“Hot, then.” I leaned in closer. “You’re
hot
to look at.” I put my lips on his jaw and kissed him there in a slow, seductive movement. I imagined myself as a vampire, red mouth peeling back to reveal white, dagger sharp fangs.

In a quick movement
, he grabbed both my wrists and pushed me down. A laugh escaped him as he hovered with his body over mine. “I know you’re drunk right now, but I like you like this. You’re all sweet and sexy…” It was his turn to kiss me. His lips caressed my neck, and I let myself close my eyes and enjoy it. When he trailed his kisses down to my collarbone, he stopped abruptly. “I screwed Julia.”

I opened my eyes. “I know.”

His hands released my wrists as he sat up. “You know?”

I grabbed on to his forearm to drag myself back up to a sitting position. “Yeah,” I sighed. “I saw you guys together.”