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Authors: Z. A. Maxfield

Tags: #Fiction, #Gay, #MLR Press; ISBN 978-1-60820-172-3

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he could go anywhere again, unless he went to the trouble

of covering from head to toe, which was likely to garner a

tremendous amount of unwanted attention in an airport since

they’d heightened transportation safety. Donte had to plan his

flights carefully and it could sometimes take days to get from

place to place if he needed to layover in one city while the sun

was out, in order to fly to his destination in darkness.

Adin dreamed that Donte stood beside him on the Golden

Gate Bridge, hand in hand, to watch the sun set. The wind blew

Donte’s dark, wavy hair every which way, and he turned his

collar up against the chill. Adin’s gloved hands adjusted a scarf

around Donte’s neck—a rather dashing red scarf in a vibrant silk

paisley—like the one he’d talked about with Bran. It did make

Donte appear more approachable.

Adin pressed his forehead into Donte’s chest and said,

“Where are you?”

When Donte whispered, “I’m right
here
,” Adin felt a warm,

percussive burst of Donte’s breath against his temple. It was so

Vigil
189

real he woke up with a startled cry. When Adin once again found

himself alone, his heart hurt. The light outside was gone, and

he’d left none lit in his room. It was dark except for the glow

from the landscape lighting. Somewhere downstairs he could

hear Boaz moving around in the kitchen.

He told himself not to be an idiot. Donte would come

when he could, and all the self-pity and star wishes in the world

wouldn’t bring him one minute sooner. He’d hardened his heart

against getting his hopes up, so when he heard that voice again,

throbbing through his body as if he heard it on iPod earbuds,

“Caro, I’m right here,”
Adin wanted to believe it.

Something indefinable brushed his naked skin though, like

a current of warm air, and finally Adin got up to look out the

window, just in case. There were headlights at the end of the

drive. Doors opened and closed on what appeared to be a taxi

as its occupants moved behind it to transact business. The trunk

opened. Then closed. The cab’s headlights silhouetted a man

wearing an overcoat, and pulling a pilot case, as it drew back

out into the street and sped away, leaving the drive in near-total

darkness. Adin’s heart started to beat so hard against his ribs

that he could hear it echoing through his head. He yanked the

counterpane off the bed, wrapping it around him like a toga, and

took off for the stairs. He took them as fast as he could safely

run, dragging the silken fabric with him.

“Shit,” he cursed as he stepped on it and had to hop to the

front door on one leg, a difficult thing to do when he was well

rested and sober but with a soft cast on his arm and slightly

wobbly from the medication, it was entirely too much.

He burst outside and ran down the steps, barely concerned

that now he was on level ground his makeshift garment flew out

behind him and covered him not at all. By the time he ran fifty

feet, he could see Donte clearly. He looked tired and grim. When

they were about ten feet apart, Adin skidded to a halt on the

pathway in front of him.

“Gods, you’re a welcome sight, caro.” Donte sighed heavily.

“Why are you dressed like the Dalai Lama?”

190 Z.A. Maxfield

Adin moved the rest of the way forward and reached for the

lapel of Donte’s coat. He wanted to welcome Donte home but

was afraid he’d be unable to keep the emotion from his voice,

uncertain whether he would laugh or start sobbing. When at last

he tried to speak, it seemed he didn’t have to choose one or the

other because both tumbled out at once.

Finally he pulled the quilt around him and pressed his face

into Donte’s chest. “Ah
shit
.
Donte
.”

“What’s all this, caro?” Donte held Adin while he shook with

emotion.

For an answer Adin cupped the back of Donte’s head and

brought him down for a kiss, teasing and tasting, breathing his

lover in before Donte parted his lips and his tongue dived inside.

Donte slid his hands from Adin’s shoulders downward to

span his waist just above the small of his back.

“I’ve missed you so much. When they wouldn’t let me back in,

I thought… I couldn’t feel you. I thought…”

“Adin.” Donte frowned deeply. “I would have spared you that

if I could. As it is, there was very nearly one less
Peter
in the world

when I heard how he harmed you.”

“Whatever.” Adin clung to Donte with his good arm. “It

doesn’t matter. You’re here now, and that’s all that counts.”

Donte pressed a kiss to Adin’s forehead. Adin reached out

and caught Donte’s case handle, intending to pull it up to the

house, but Donte stopped him, taking Adin’s good hand in his. “I

will pull my case,” Donte said firmly, “and you will tell me what

you and Boaz and your adolescent entity have been up to while

I was ill.”

Adin leaned his head against Donte’s shoulder. He felt whole

just then, basking in a resurgence of the powerful connection

that bound them. It wrapped around them as they moved up the

driveway together.

As they ascended the stairs to the front door, Adin was alarmed

to feel a weakness in Donte’s limbs, a heavier step, a slight quiver

Vigil
191

of muscle, as if he didn’t have his normal strength. He lifted his

gaze and found that Donte was frowning in concentration. Adin

pressed his lips together, leaving his questions unasked. It was

enough for now to bring Donte inside, to their room and their

bed where Adin could hold him and love him—

“I feel your desire, it’s very nice.”

“Nice?” Adin feigned outrage. “Tissues with lotion in them

are
nice
. Girl scouts are
nice
. I plan to rock your world, my lover.”

When they got to the door, Boaz stood to one side and took

Donte’s case from him. His expression was unreadable, but Adin

knew how he felt. Adin’s relief was giddy and palpable. Boaz

didn’t acknowledge it but Adin knew he shared it.

“It’s good to see you, Boaz.” Donte sniffed the air. “Quiche

Lorraine. Except for the pun, which he makes every single time

you serve it, Adin hates quiche.”


Quiche me
you fool,” Adin quipped, stupidly happy for the

first time in days.

“Is that a fact?” There was a twinkle in Boaz’s eye that left no

doubt he knew that.
The shit.
“Good to have you here, sir.”

“Good to be here. I think I’ll go up with Adin and get him to

tell me whether he’s lost his clothes or taken holy orders.”

“That sounds like an excellent plan, sir.”

“I have a plan,” Adin offered. Both Donte and Boaz ignored

him.

“Good night, Boaz. I’ll expect to you to visit our room with a

tray of tea things and something to sustain Adin, since he hasn’t

eaten.”

“Very good, sir.” Boaz faded back through the unlit hallway

into the kitchen, Adin and Donte started up the stairs. There was

enough ambient light from the windows that Adin didn’t feel the

need to turn on the lights just yet. Something about the quiet,

nearly empty house and the darkness, fit his mood perfectly.

“Don’t you want to hear my plan?” Adin asked.

192 Z.A. Maxfield

“Not particularly, caro.” Donte shifted Adin’s blanket so he

wouldn’t trip, and in so doing pulled him snug against a fully

aroused vampire. “You’ll find I have a plan of my own.”

Again, Donte moved slower than normal, his step less certain.

Once they reached the landing Adin slipped his arm around

Donte to support him as they took the rest of the stairs. “What

would that be?”

“I plan to allow you to twine yourself around me—as you

always do—whereupon I shall do unspeakable things to you.”

“You must have spies; you’ve sussed out my plan exactly and

made it your own.”

When they got to the top of the stairs, Adin drew Donte into

the bedroom and pushed him back onto the bed. “You need me,

don’t you? I can feel you trembling.”

“I didn’t feed after I left France.” Donte pulled his tie off,

irritated. “The plane was delayed and the airport crowded. It was

too brightly lit for me, and difficult to find a quiet space in which

to rest, so I sat in a dark bar and drank a bad red wine. I didn’t

think—”

Adin sat beside him. “
Donte
. You have to remember what you

need. Surely you could have found a willing partner? How do you

go about that?”

“I just… It doesn’t matter. I never thought I’d be weakened

this quickly. It’s a humbling thing.”

“May I?” Adin indicated the reading light next to the bed. “I

need to look at you.”

“Of course, Caro. What a silly thing to ask.”

Adin turned on the light and peered closely at Donte. His first

glimpse stunned him. “Donte?” Adin fingered a new and very

visible shock of silver in the waves of hair that fell over Donte’s

eye and said, in awe, “
Look at you.

Donte pulled his head back from Adin’s grasp. “It’s not so big

a change, is it?”

Adin searched Donte’s face for a clue to why his voice seemed

Vigil
193

uncertain. “Of course it’s not. It’s… glorious. You’re beautiful.

You’re like a god. You know that right?” Adin’s eyes stung. “I’ll

never tire of looking at you. I thought I’d never see you again,

and my heart just shattered.”

“I’m so sorry, caro.” Donte drew him into his arms so tenderly

that Adin gave in to his tears. Donte stroked his hair like a child’s.

“This is a case where the cure was worse than the disease, I’m

afraid.”

“What do you mean?”

Donte’s arms tightened. “It required that I be… nearly

reborn. Not an outdoor feast, I’m afraid.”

Adin chuckled. “A picnic?’

“Yes. Not a picnic, as the saying goes.”

Adin drew back. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“It required that I be given the blood of a vampire, caro. A

transfusion of blood that made me nearly as feral as I was when

I was newly made. For a while I lost myself entirely.”

Adin shivered again at how close he’d come to losing his

lover. “Oh, Donte…”

“I still don’t feel quite… I stayed away because…” Donte

shook his head.

Adin swallowed hard. “Why?”

Donte seemed to measure his words carefully. “Although

I tried to hide how sick I was from you, it became clear when

Madame arrived that I wouldn’t have lasted much longer. It was

the only way. But it might have killed me. I might have been

unable to recover whatever thin veneer of civilization keeps me

from harming people.”

“How could you hide something like that from me?” Adin

thumped his chest. “I’m your lover. I’m your
partner
. I had a right

to know.”

“Of course you did.” Donte pulled him in close again. “By

the time I realized the problem, it was much too late to deal with

194 Z.A. Maxfield

it rationally.”

“But how could you not tell me you were ill in the first place?

You must have felt—”

“I only wanted to protect you and Bran. We made a promise

to protect the boy and I wanted to honor that. To be honest, I

thought I could find a way to neutralize whatever threat he posed

to me long before—”

“You
knew
.” Adin sagged against Donte. “Bran said he

thought you realized that he was the cause of your illness, and

you didn’t tell me because—”

“I was trying to solve a problem, caro. To create a positive

outcome for both of us. I never dreamed it could put me in such

danger. I’m afraid I’d begun to believe my own hype. It appears

I’m not entirely invincible after all.”

“You should have told me, Donte. You should have explained

the situation and let me make a decision. There is nothing I

wouldn’t do to keep you safe. Nothing I wouldn’t give up to

ensure that.”

Donte was silent as he contemplated that. “You’ve never had

to make a life or death decision, have you?”

Adin shook his head. “Not really, no.”

“Turning Santos… that was a situation in which I had no time

to think. He can hate me for it but I carried Auselmo in my heart

and I couldn’t bear for that living reminder of him…” Donte

closed his eyes. “Sometimes with the very best of intentions we

commit the worst offenses.”

“Donte.” Adin gripped the lapels of his suit tighter.

“I thought I could spare you that. I thought I had time.”

“Some choices need to be shared.”

“I see that now. Forgive me, caro.” Donte pressed his face

into Adin’s neck and nuzzled the skin there. He nipped at it,

tonguing the delicate skin.

Adin arched a brow. “You still see me as an impetuous child.”

Vigil
195

“I don’t right now. You smell delicious.” Donte groaned, going

from sad to seductive with one desperate sentence. His eyes no

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