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Authors: Z. A. Maxfield

Tags: #Fiction, #Gay, #MLR Press; ISBN 978-1-60820-172-3

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back the curtain would you be working the controls?” Adin listened for an

answer. “Bran?”

Silence. For some reason Adin began to worry. It was as if they’d left

him in a room all alone. All the voices had disappeared, all the sounds, the

traffic, the helicopter, the EMT’s voices were gone as if they’d never existed.

“Bran?” Adin asked, more urgently. “Bran, where are you? Where is

everyone?”

“Bran’s busy.” Santos’s voice.

“Perfect.” Adin muttered. “Another country heard from.”

Vigil
203

“Here, take this.” Adin felt lips press down on his, dark and seductive.

They knew what they were doing and soon a tongue stroked along his lower

lip and he parted them, surprised by the pleasure of it. Fluid pushed through

to gush past his teeth and over his tongue. Lots of it.

Adin gagged and coughed as a hand came down on his lips and prevented

him from expelling the awful, coppery warm liquid.

“Swallow.” Adin blinked, and when his vision cleared Donte stood over

him.

Adin shook his head.

Donte repeated the word. “Swallow.”

Adin had no choice but to do as he was told. When he’d finally gagged

all the horrible, salty liquid, down he asked, “What the fuck?
Donte
?”

Donte’s face seemed to dissolve, and instead, Santos’s face smiled down

at him.

“Happy Easter, Adin,” Santos told him, his eyes like dark holes that

framed single pinpoints of light. “The oldest and most arcane mystery of

all.” He smiled in a nearly fatherly way and disappeared. Everyone was

gone. Everything was silent.

“Bran?” Adin called out. “
Bran?

When Adin woke, the first thing he saw was Edward. He

opened his mouth to say something, but found himself unable

to talk past his dry mouth and scratchy throat. He jerked his head

minutely and got Edward’s attention that way. Edward practically

leaped to his feet to bring him soothing hands and ice chips for

his dry mouth.

Edward’s eyes were red rimmed and swollen. “Adin?” He

clasped Adin’s good hand gently. Adin tried to acknowledge that

in some way but couldn’t seem to make his body move.

“Thank God.”

Adin looked up dully, reminded of all the times Edward had

been there for him. His throat hurt just to look at him. His face

crumpled, but no tears would come.

204 Z.A. Maxfield

“Now…” Edward soothed. “There’s no need for that. You’re

going to be fine, baby.”

A shape detached from the wall on the far side of the room

and swept out the door.
Shit.
Donte. He probably blamed himself

and was currently going to be harder than ever to deal with. Adin

turned panicked eyes toward Edward, willing him to go after

Donte and bring him back.

“Let him be.” Edward glanced back at the door. He gave Adin

an ice chip to suck on. “He should have known better than to

come to you in that condition. What the hell did he think was

going to happen if he—”

Adin squeezed Edward’s hand as hard as he could. “
Go,
” he

croaked.


Ow
.” Edward pulled his hand back. “Oh, all right all ready.

I’ll go get him. But if you ask me…” Adin poked him hard and

he left.

Tuan came in after Edward left. He gave Adin a relieved

smile. “Good to see you awake. I had them airlift you here,” Tuan

gestured to the private room, “because this facility has a trauma

center for victims of paranormal events. They’re equipped to

deal with all kinds of… Let’s just say it’s specialized.”

Adin blinked at him. He tried clearing his throat, and it was a

little easier. “
Thirsty
.”

“Yes, indeed, I’m sure you are.” Tuan picked up the cup of

ice chips that Edward had been doling out and placed one on

Adin’s tongue. “Besides trying to track down Donte, Edward will

probably inform the doctor that you’re awake and I’m sure any

restrictions on food and drink will be lifted forthwith.”

Adin nodded. “
Water.

“Soon, I promise.” Tuan’s voice was kind. “You won’t be

the first to be treated for near exsanguination by a lover, and

you won’t be the last. Humans are like moths to a flame with

vampires.”

Adin lowered his lashes. Sucking on the ice chips seemed to

Vigil
205

help. He swallowed once or twice to test his jaw. “I am, anyway.”

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of Adin. It’s the way things are.”

Adin wanted to say he wasn’t ashamed at all. At any rate,

anything he said would be taken like the excuses a person makes

for a drunken spouse or an abuser. It would hardly matter to

anyone that Adin was—at last—completely confident with

regard to the strange turns his life had taken. During what he had

thought were the final moments of his life, even as he’d wept

at the thought of losing consciousness for the last time, he was

aware he wouldn’t give up the time he’d spent with Donte for

anything. And he’d nearly lost the chance to tell him…

“Boaz brought Bran. He’ll want to see you. He’s very unhappy

with us that we didn’t bring him in last night. He said something

about you needing him. But to be honest…” Tuan allowed his

normally taciturn face show emotion as he brushed Adin’s cheek

lightly with his knuckles. “It was touch and go. That was…” Tuan

swallowed, “hard to watch.”

Adin feared to ask. “I was never alone with Donte, was I?

Here?”

Tuan shook his head. “The minute we left the helicopter the

medical team took you from us. After you were allowed visitors

Edward and I never left you alone. Donte seemed worried about

his enemies and I… Maybe I was worried about Donte.”

“I need to see him.” Adin’s cracked and parched throat hurt

as fear gripped him. He fussed with the controls for the bed.

“Up.
Please
.”

Tuan helped him to raise the back of the hospital bed. Adin’s

head swam. He pushed against the side rails until Tuan lowered

them. When he tried to swing his legs over Tuan wouldn’t allow

it.

“Stay where you are, Adin. Don’t fight me, you’re not strong

enough to be walking around.”

Adin wanted to scream with frustration. The barest push of

Tuan’s hand was more than enough to press him back down;

he was so weak. Tuan sat beside him. Adin’s breathing became

206 Z.A. Maxfield

shallower and his pulse more rapid. He had no strength to fight

Tuan’s hold on him. He reached out with his heart instead,

sending Donte a message, hampered by his physical limitations

but carrying the full weight of his determination.

Come back
.
Stay with me. I need you.

And then he thought of that curious dream, the kiss, the

blood, first Santos’s face and then Donte’s, his hand over Adin’s

mouth and had a horrible frisson of fear. Had he woken with a

coppery taste in his mouth…?

Donte, what have you done?

Gods.

It was only a dream, wasn’t it?

ChAPteR twenty

Tuan sat with Adin until the door opened and Donte walked

in. He had obviously thrown on casual clothes in haste while

waiting for the EMTs. He wore a fine-gauge cashmere sweater

and a pair of jeans Adin had never seen before beneath one of

his many long, dark coats. This one—a vintage wool military

topcoat very much like Bran’s—swung around his calves when

he turned after closing the door behind him. Donte glowered

and took up a large amount of space in the small, private hospital

room, causing the air to crackle with tension that Adin could feel

in his chest.

Adin cleared his throat. Tuan reluctantly excused himself and

left.

Donte’s hair stood out at odd angles, as though he’d hung

onto the outside of the helicopter while they’d flown from place

to place, but Adin was too tired to laugh, and too dehydrated to

cry. What came out was more like a cough, followed by a helpless

gurgle that went silent when Donte pinned him with an angry

gaze. Donte wasn’t likely to forgive himself. Adin knew he’d have

to tread carefully. He held out a hand, but Donte didn’t come to

him.


Donte
.” Adin frowned.

Donte frowned right back and he was better at it. He didn’t

move. “In case it has escaped your notice, I nearly killed you.”


Ah, jeez
.” Adin fussed with the sheet covering him. “Yeah.

So what’s your point?”

Donte ran his hand through his hair and Adin began to

understand how it got that way. The usually resplendent Donte

didn’t seem to care what he looked like. How odd. “You are an

idiot.”

“Absolutely.”

“Sciocco,” Donte said explosively.

208 Z.A. Maxfield

“Pazzo,” Adin countered.


Imbecile
.”

“I’m a
clown
.”

“Yes. Even that.” Donte inched forward. “You cried.”

“Yes.” Adin stopped smiling. “I did.”

Donte stepped forward once more. “You were afraid.”

“I was.” Adin never took his eyes off Donte’s. “I am.”

Donte’s façade eroded then, and it was painful for Adin to

watch, as if an ancient rocky edifice crumbled and fell away into

the sea. “I cannot do this,” Donte whispered.

Adin held his arms out. “I know.”

Donte was shaking his head no when he moved forward.

He leaned over the hospital bed and wrapped his arms around

Adin’s waist, putting his head across Adin’s lap. Adin pushed his

fingers—IV tubes trailing after them, attached to the back of his

hand—through Donte’s dark waves, brushing them back from

his face. He found the wisp of silver and smoothed it carefully.

Soothing. Caressing Donte’s tense face, using his thumb to

smooth the tightly clenched jaw. He continued stroking until he

felt Donte’s body relax slightly, until Adin felt something shudder

through it as Donte unwound.

“Shh,” Adin said stupidly, because Donte didn’t make a single

sound. He just held on like a limpet, but didn’t breathe, didn’t

move. Cold and lifeless, except for the ardor with which he clung,

and the waves of intense satisfaction that Adin felt through his

skin and his muscle to his very bones. The love he felt surrounded

them like mist.

My monster
.

“Sometimes I hate you, più amato,” Donte said then, and

Adin knew very well that he meant it.

“Right back atcha, my lover.” Adin continued stroking his

soft hair.

Donte tightened his grip—if possible—and stayed that way

Vigil
209

for another few minutes before he took an audible breath, more

for show, and stood. He cupped Adin’s face in his hand and

peered at him. “You are weak.”

“I am indeed. And not just in the usual, I’m human, and you

are the apex of—”

Donte tensed. “Not today,
pazzo
, I am not in the mood.”

“All right,” Adin agreed. “I
am
weak. I can’t get out of bed.”

Donte pursed his lips and shook his head. “Bran will wish

to see you since he appears to have adopted you. He was beside

himself with grief. He’s probably going to challenge me to a

duel.”

“And of course you will be a responsible adult and not fan the

flames with your usual insouciant charm?”

“You mean I must handle him with soft gloves?”

“I mean exactly that,” Adin told Donte.

“I hear you. I can’t even be around him, caro. I will not eat

him.”

Adin said nothing.

Donte shifted uncomfortably. “That is an idiom I find less

appealing today.”

Adin laughed out loud. He reached out and grabbed the lapel

of Donte’s coat and pulled him close, pressing his cheek against

Donte’s, then whispering in his ear, “I could not love you any

more than I do. It’s not physically possible. Per sempre, amore

mio, I’m so, so sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Donte cleared his throat.

“You called me back, and I am here. Perhaps I am the fool.”

“Yes.”

“Heaven help me.” Donte pressed his lips to Adin’s, nudging

Adin’s legs aside to sit beside him on the tiny hospital bed. Adin

wound his good hand around Donte’s neck, fussing with the IV

line to get it out of the way. His broken arm was cumbersome

and awkward. He opened for Donte’s tongue when they kissed,

210 Z.A. Maxfield

and pulled him close when he slid down, willing him to forget

everything and take what he had to offer.

All his love. All his faith. His body, his heart, his future.

“Ah, lover—” A commotion outside the door caught their

attention and they broke apart.

Boaz came into the room followed by Tuan and Edward. “Is

Bran here? Have you seen him?”

“No.” Donte stood and covered Adin carefully with the

lightweight sheet they’d pushed down while they kissed. “I

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