Virtue & Vanity (45 page)

“He did,” I said in a small voice, remembering the invitation he’d showed me in his office, but with everything that had happened that day, I’d put it out of my mind. “It’s just that I’m not really looking forward to it, that’s all.”

Helen gave me a knowing look and then she smiled reassuringly. “Oh, trust me you’ll love it. Jared is a great guy. He’ll make you feel welcome, you’ll see.”

I managed to produce a smile that would confirm I agreed with what she had said, but all I could think of was the cold man from my wedding that had looked at me with sheer contempt. “I’m sure you’re right,” I said resigned, and we finally kissed and said goodbye.

***

It was already early in the evening when Helen left and despite his promise that he would join us soon, Sebastian still hadn’t returned home. On my way to my bedroom, I paused next to his door, wondering if I should simply be bold enough to wait for him there, but the idea seemed strange and I realized I would feel awkward if he found me sleeping in his bed so I decided to go to my own room, painfully aware of the fact that it still felt wrong for me to take initiative in our relationship.

Even though I was tired, it was still too early for me to go to sleep, so I decided to do something I hadn’t done in a while. After changing into fluffy, comfortable pajamas, I reached out for the notebook with my story, lay into a comfortable position and started writing; striving once again to reach a happy ending for my characters. Time went by faster than ever and when I looked at the clock, I realized I had been writing for almost two hours. Stretching my hand, I realized I was done with the adding anything to the story for the day, but I still wanted to proofread what I had written down. While reading, I got lost in the world of my imagination and before I knew it, my eyelids were getting heavy. As I fought to keep my eyes open, a light knock on the door startled me from my fatigue. I smiled, knowing exactly who was at the other side of the door and suddenly I was wide awake.

“Come in,” I said in a mild voice and quickly sat upright when I saw the doorknob turning.

The very moment he entered the room, my heart started beating in a loud rhythm while I stared at him with shameless directness. He wore simple blue pajama pants and a black T-shirt. I couldn’t help but think that very few people could look amazing wearing the simplest clothing items, and Sebastian was definitely one of them. The contours of his chest were showing through his shirt and when he brushed his hand against it, I looked away in shame because he realized I’d been staring. I heard his muffled laughter as he approached closer. Happy excitement rose in my system and I turned towards him when he sat on the edge of my bed. For a moment we simply stared, enjoying each other’s quiet company.

“It’s late,” I said softly.

“I know.” He sighed and the exhaustion was clear on his face. “It’s been a long day.”

I felt bad for him, knowing how difficult it had to have been to spend a day in the office after a restless night with almost no sleep. “You must be really tired.”

He didn’t reply, he just smiled kind of sadly and focused his eyes on the notebook in my hands. Afraid he would reach for it, I clenched my fingers around it in a protective manner and that was when his soft gazed traveled to mine.

“Wouldn’t it be easier if you used a laptop?” he asked and I was taken off guard because I hadn’t expected it.

“It’s okay. I like writing like this. It helps me relax,” I offered as an explanation.

He nodded and smiled at me. “Are you going to let me read it?” He asked the question I’d been dreading.

I sighed, contemplating the idea and it was hard because I was so sensitive about sharing my stories—this one especially. But I knew that there wasn’t a person alive who would be more appropriate to share it with. “I would love for you to read it.” He reached for the notebook, but I put it to the side. “Once it’s finished,” I said in a pleading voice and after a moment of confusion, he pulled his hand back and showed me that he would respect my decision.

“I was waiting for you.” He changed the subject, revealing the true reason of his arrival. “I couldn’t go to sleep, I thought that ...”

He left his silent confession hanging in the air, but the words didn’t matter because we understood each other perfectly. Without hesitation, I removed the covers on the other side of the bed, inviting him to lie next to me. And after letting out a sigh of visible relief, he did. The moment his body touched the mattress, he pulled me into a tight embrace, placing my head onto his chest and it made me feel like that was exactly where I belonged.

“It’s impossible to spend another night on my own,” he whispered and kissed my temple. “I need you.”

I sighed as my body absorbed the warmth of his smooth, bronze skin. “I need you too, Sebastian.”

His grip around me became even tighter. “Then it’s settled. We won’t sleep apart again?” he asked in a small voice, like he feared my answer.

Those emerald eyes gazed at me expectantly and I knew I couldn’t deny his request even if I wanted to. “It’s settled,” I breathed, still keeping my eyes on his and the affection that radiated from them filled me with happiness.

He ran his fingers through my hair. “Did you have a nice day with Helen?”

Remembering the wonderful afternoon I had spent with his sister brought a smile to my face and Sebastian gazed at me with genuine curiosity. “I had a wonderful time with Helen. You’ll never guess what we did.”

The playfulness was back in his eyes and he shook his head at me. “I’m sensing trouble.”

“Relax, Mr. Grumpy,” I teased him, using the nickname Helen gave him. “We didn’t even leave the house. We spent the entire afternoon watching your childhood videos.”

“Sounds like trouble.” He smirked and something lit up in his eyes. “Did you see anything interesting?”

His question made me think about the discovery of my mother’s connections to his family, but I chose to keep it to myself. Maybe I was making the wrong decision, but I wanted to keep the messy past away from our lives so badly that I chose to forget I’d ever recognized her on that video.

“Oh, we saw more than you can imagine, and Helen told me a few interesting stories too,” I replied in a cheerful tone. “You do realize I’ll never stop teasing you now, don’t you?” I challenged in a light voice and he started laughing.

Spreading light kisses and caressed along my entire body, he reminisced about the scenes I’d seen on the video. Our conversation resembled that of a well-rehearsed play. There wasn’t even a moment filled with awkwardness or unpleasant silence. I could ask him as many questions as I wanted and he gladly answered every single one of them, making me want to turn this moment into our everyday routine. More than ever, I felt like we were a normal, average couple; two people who fulfilled each other by doing simple, everyday things, things that made life beautiful. We talked about his piano performances, school experiences, his parents’ strict rules, and lastly, about all the mischievous things he did with his friend Jared.

The moment he mentioned his name, I turned serious and Sebastian narrowed his eyes

“Helen reminded me that he’s getting married soon and I...I forgot that we had to attend the wedding,” I admitted, revealing the extent of my uneasiness.

“You’re not getting off the hook, sweet. Jared really wants you there. There’s really nothing I can do about it,” he tried to reassure me in a warm voice.

Even though I knew he only said it to make me feel better, I smiled and finally made my peace with the fact that no matter how painful the experience of attending that wedding would be, I would survive it. After all, in this case I could really say that I’d been through worse and made it out alive. Dealing with rich, condescending people was an almost everyday occurrence as it was. Plus, it was Sebastian’s best friend’s wedding and I would do whatever it takes to make him happy.

“It must be nice to have a friend you’ve known your entire life.”

Sebastian smiled. “It is,” he confirmed. “He’s like a brother to me. It was really nice to have him around when I was a child.” He seemed to travel back in time and his lips twisted into a secretive smirk. “Although I’m sure Anne would disagree. We used to drive her crazy.”

“You? Drive someone crazy?” I needled him. “I cannot imagine.”

He chuckled and stopped touching me. Then he took advantage of my slight surprise and pulled me really close, disarming me with his stormy gaze.

“Maybe I should show you?” His whisper burned my skin and while I knew he was joking, my reaction to him was very real and only one look at my self-assured husband told me he was perfectly aware of it.

“That’s okay,” I said as my voice melted under the warmth of his glare. “I think I’ll have to trust you on that one.” Although I politely turned down this make-believe offer, I couldn’t deny the presence of the tension between us, which was still rising like a bubble that was about to break and I needed to do something to keep it at bay. “You—” I swallowed when his hand traveled down my arm, and then shifted to my hip. Suddenly, I realized there was nothing make-believe about it, he
really
meant to show me. “You were saying,” My voice caught up as he kept teasing me with his caresses and I felt a hot, fluttering feeling that would indeed drive me crazy if he didn’t stop. “You were saying h-how...” He kissed the corner of my lips and I inhaled to keep myself composed. “... how you used to drive Anne...” He smiled and then he did something he had never done before; he caught my earlobe between his lips and sucked on it lightly, causing a strange warm sensation to travel all the way down my torso “You drove her...” The sensation was unbearable. “C-Crazy....” The word came out of my lips in one shaky breath describing exactly the way he made me feel at that moment.

Releasing my ear, he raised his head to look at me with adorably devilish eyes seething with desire. The moment he saw my flushed face, he smirked as if managing to set me on fire brought him great satisfaction. “Sweetness...” The word came out in one hot whisper. “Anne is the last person you should be thinking about at a moment like this. Besides,” he caressed my hair gently, my heart thumping in a crazy rhythm and it seemed that for as long as he was around it would never come down, “she isn’t the one who’s being driven to the brink of insanity right now.”

Gulping, I blinked at him, realizing he had just showed me a glimpse of the hidden world of pleasure I never even dreamed existed. For a moment, I caught myself thinking that if only this one simple action could cause a total meltdown in my system, what it would feel like if I let him take things one step further.
If I let him...

Even faster than it had appeared the enthusiasm I felt was swept away, and the events of the previous night lodged in my mind. Mortification emerged out of nowhere, and in an attempt to escape his knowing gaze, I buried my head in the nape of his neck. Under his tensed, bronze skin, I felt his rapid heartbeat and I knew seeking solace from him must have caught him off guard. However, he relaxed after only a short moment. Before I knew it, he wrapped his arms around me and caressed my back. He kissed the top of my head, but didn’t try to make me look at him.

“Angel, I’m sorry if I overreacted.” He apologized and I stopped him by lightly shaking my head, still buried in the nape of his neck. “What’s wrong then?” he asked in a mild voice and I felt his hand landing softly on my head.

I didn’t reply and he sighed and began stroking my hair, remaining silent for a while. When I completely relaxed in his arms, he took advantage of the situation and slowly tilted up my chin, until our eyes locked in an expectant glare.

“Isabelle, it’s okay.” He smiled and caressed one of my deeply flushed cheeks. “It’s okay to take what I want to give you,” he whispered in a light voice and his thumb brushed against my lips making me tremble with warmth and gulp with trepidation at the same time. “Don’t be ashamed to let go and enjoy my touch, love, because that’s all I’ll ever ask in return.”

Instead of evoking peace, his words awakened regret. I had to give him something in return. Anything that would show him that I wasn’t made of stone. I needed him to know that I felt—I felt too much.

“I’m sorry,” I said in the smallest voice ever and he wanted to say something but I placed my index finger on his lips, asking him to remain quiet.

Encouraged by the green light in his eyes, I brought my shaky lips an inch from his and for a second he seemed to be almost startled by my action, but he remained calm. Waiting. Ignoring my racing heart I kissed him lightly, feeling the softness and the warmth of his full lips. His deep breath gave away his state of mind as I repeated the words. “I-I’m sorry.” My hand reached towards him and I ran my fingers through his smooth, dark hair.

He closed his eyes, seemingly savoring my touch and then in a moment, his eyes snapped open and he caught my wrist, pulling it towards him while I watched in anticipation.

“Sebastian.”

“Shh, don’t say you’re sorry,” he said in a determined whisper, leaning down to kiss the top of my hand. Holding onto my fingers, he looked up at me again. “And don’t ever doubt me. I’ll wait for you, Isabelle.” He leaned his forehead on mine. “I’ll wait for you, love. Just like in the fairytales you seem to like so much. I don’t care if you lost your shoe, fell asleep for a hundred years or ate a poisoned apple. I’ll wait for you. For as long as it takes.”

I knew he was being over the top cheesy just to cheer me up and I appreciated him immensely for bringing a smile to my face at a difficult moment like this.