Voices of Islam (147 page)

By way of explanation of the meaning of
ihsanan,
Tabari says it is to show kindness to parents, courteous speech, the lowering of the wing of submission as a mercy to them, tenderness, compassion, prayer for good to come to them, and other similar deeds. Qurtubi reiterates this defi tion, adding that the believers should keep up relationships with the people their parents love.
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To explain the meaning of
ihsanan,
Ibn Kathir refers to Hasan al-Basri’s def- inition of another form of the word,
husnan,
which is also found in Qur’anic verse 2:83. Basri defines
husnan
with reference to speech, as such speech ‘‘that commands kindness, terminates objectionable remarks, and is gentle, and restrains one and pardons.’’
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To further clarify his defi tion, Ibn Kathir quotes the following hadith: Abu Dharr narrated that the Prophet said, ‘‘Do not show the slightest contempt for the concept of kindness. If you do not find any good to do, greet your brother with a bright face.’’
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Ibn Kathir con- cludes that Allah commands His creatures to speak good speech to the people after He has commanded them to do well to others in deed; thus, He unites between the extremities of goodness of deed and that of goodness of speech. In their discussion of the second Qur’anic injunction of a general nature about parents—‘‘Show kindness to parents, to kinsfolk and orphans, and to the needy’’ (Qur’an 4:36)—the three commentators express a restatement of their previous opinions on the subject. Qurtubi, however, includes an additional hadith, which succinctly expresses the importance of the child–parent relationship. According to Shu‘ba and Hashim al-Wastiyan,

Respect for the Mother in Islam
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‘Abdallah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘As narrated that the Messenger of Allah said: ‘‘The satisfaction of the Lord is in the satisfaction of the parents, and the displeasure of the Lord is in the displeasure of the parents.’’
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The following hadiths are a further illustration of the immense importance, in Islam, that is given to kindness and service to parents in general, and to the mother in particular. Ibn ‘Abbas narrated that the Prophet said: ‘‘Safeguard the love for your parents. Do not cut it off or your light will be extinguished by Allah.’’
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‘Abdallah ibn Mas‘ud narrated: ‘‘I asked the Messenger of Allah which deed was the preferred one?’’ He said, ‘‘Prayer at its proper time.’’ Then I asked, ‘‘Which is next?’’ He said, ‘‘Kindness to parents.’’ Then I asked, ‘‘Which is next?’’ He said, ‘‘Fighting for the sake of Allah.’’
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‘Abdallah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘As narrated that the Messenger of Allah excused a man from
jihad.
He asked, ‘‘Are your parents alive?’’ ‘‘Yes,’’ the man replied. He said, ‘‘Then struggling in their service is your
jihad.
’’
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Anas ibn Malik narrated that a man came to the Messenger of Allah and said, ‘‘I longed to go on
jihad,
but I was not able to do so.’’ The Prophet asked, ‘‘Is either one of your parents alive?’’ ‘‘My mother,’’ the man said. The Prophet said, ‘‘Allah has instructed us in devotion to her, so if you do thus, you are as one who has made the
Hajj
pilgrimage, the
‘Umra
pilgrimage, and has participated in
jihad
.’’
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Ibn ‘Umar narrated that a man came to the Messenger of Allah and said, ‘‘I have committed a great sin. Is there anything I can do to repent?’’ The Prophet asked, ‘‘Do you have a mother?’’ ‘‘No,’’ the man said. He asked, ‘‘Do you have a maternal aunt?’’ ‘‘Yes,’’ the man said. He said, ‘‘Then, be kind and devoted to her.’’
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Talaq ibn ‘Ali narrated that the Prophet said: ‘‘If I became aware of my parents, or one of them, and I had begun the evening prayer and had recited
Surat al-Fatiha;
and my mother called me— I would have answered her.’’
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Ibn ‘Abbas narrated that the Prophet said: ‘‘Do not leave your mother unless she gives you permission or death takes her because that is the greatest deed for your reward.’’
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Ibn ‘Abbas narrated that the Prophet said: ‘‘Whoever kisses his mother between the eyes has protection from the Fire.’’
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With respect to financial responsibility to needy parents, the Qur’an addresses this point clearly: ‘‘That which you spend for good is for parents, near kindred and orphans, and the poor and the wayfarer’’ (Qur’an 2:215). Thus, among the categories of needy persons for whom financial support is due, parents come first. The consensus of the three commentators is that this verse implies the appropriateness of voluntary charity to needy parents, above and beyond the annually required compulsory charity (
Zakat
).

Tabari states that the reference is to voluntary charity. Ibn Kathir concurs with Tabari’s opinion but also presents Muqatil ibn Hayyan’s opinion that this interpretation was subsequently abrogated by (the commandment to pay)
Zakat.
Qurtubi says it was not abrogated and that there are two different issues, one being voluntary charity and the other compulsory charity.

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Voices of Life: Family, Home, and Society

Tabari’s explication reemphasizes the fact that the Qur’anic injunction refers to both parents, the mother as well as the father. Thus, he says the meaning of the verse is that your companions, Oh Muhammad, ask you what they should spend out of their wealth on voluntary charity, and on whom they should spend it. So say to them: What you spend of your wealth as voluntary charity, use it for your fathers and your mothers and your relatives, and the orphans among you and the needy and the wayfarers. Therefore, whatever you do of good, do it for them. Verily, Allah is aware of it, and He records for you, until you die, your reward for it on the Day of Resurrection. Also, He rewards you for what you give out of kindness. Thus, the
khayr,
the good, that the Most Lofty, May He Be Praised, stated in this verse of His, is your wealth, the spending of which the Companions asked the Messenger of Allah about, and Allah answered them in this verse.
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Qurtubi specifi s the Companion for whom this verse was revealed as ‘Amr ibn al-Jamuh, who was at that time an old man. He said, ‘‘Oh Messenger of Allah, my wealth is great, so what should I give in charity, and on whom should I spend it?’’ Consequently, according to Qurtubi, this verse was revealed.
21

Ibn Kathir records, in reference to Ibn Hayyan’s comment above, that as- Suddi said there is speculation about this; in other words, it is not a generally accepted opinion.
22
Qurtubi clarifies his position on the question posed by Ibn Hayyan’s opinion, stating that Ibn Jurayj and others said that
Zakat
is different from the spending mentioned in this verse; therefore, there is no abrogation of it. He goes on to say that it is clearly the spending of voluntary charity, and it is obligatory on the man of means that he spends on his needy parents what is suitable for their status and compatible with his fi ncial status, for food and clothing, and so on.
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This primacy of concern for parents’ needs is expressly illustrated by the following excerpt from a longer hadith:

‘Abdullah ibn ‘Umar reported that Allah’s Messenger told the following story: Three persons set out on a journey. They were overtaken by rain and they had to find protection in a mountain cave, when at its mouth there fell a rock of that mountain, and this blocked them altogether. One of them said to the others, ‘‘Examine your good deeds that you performed for the sake of Allah and then supplicate Allah the Exalted, that He might rescue you from this trouble.’’ One of them said, ‘‘Oh Allah, I had my parents who were old and my wife and small children also. I tended the flocks and when I came back to them in the eve- ning, I did the milking and served that milk to my parents, before serving my children. One day, when I was obliged to go out to a distant place in search of fodder and could not come back before evening, I found my parents asleep. I milked the animals as usual, and brought milk to them and stood at their heads avoiding disturbing them from sleep, and I did not deem it advisable to serve milk to my children before serving them. I remained there in that state and my parents too until morning. Oh Allah, if You are aware that I did this in order to seek Your pleasure, then give us an opening that we may see the sky.’’ And Allah gave them an opening.
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Sura 6, verse 151 of the Qur’an reemphasizes the parallel between submis- sion to Allah, the One, and submission to His command of good treatment to parents: ‘‘that you ascribe nothing as a partner to [Allah] and that you act with goodness toward parents’’ (Qur’an 6:151). However, the commen- tary on this verse further reveals that this obligation is due regardless of similarity or difference of religion; that is, the Muslim is bound to offer respect and service to parents, whether they be Muslims, Christians, Jews, or even polytheists.

Qurtubi says that grammatically, the word
al-ihsan
(‘‘goodness’’) in the above Qur’anic verse is a noun
masdar
in the accusative case, which is made accusative by a missing verb; thus, the implied meaning is to do the highest degree of good to your parents. He further defi
al-ihsan
to parents as respecting them, protecting them, caring for them, obedience to their commands, and not treating them as slaves but rather giving them the position of authority.
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Ibn Kathir points out that the comparison between submission to Allah and reverence to parents is mentioned many times in the Qur’an and adds that if the parents are nonbelievers, showing kindness and respect to them is sufficient, thus implying that the Muslim is bound to his obligations to his parents, with the exception of parental commands that are contra-Islam.
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The following two accounts illustrate the insistence in Islam on reverence and kindness to one’s mother, regardless of religious difference. Shaqiq ibn Wa’il said: ‘‘My mother died a Christian, so I went to ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab (the second Caliph after the Prophet Muhammad, r. 634–644
CE
) and told him this.’’ He said, ‘‘Mount an animal and ride in front of her bier at the front of the funeral procession.’’
27
Asma’ the daughter of Abu Bakr reported: ‘‘My mother, who was a polytheist, came to me when the Prophet entered into a treaty with the Quraysh tribe of Mecca.’’ I inquired from the Messen- ger of Allah, saying, ‘‘Oh Messenger of Allah, my mother has come to me and she is afraid. Should I show her kindness?’’ He said, ‘‘Yes, treat her kindly.’’
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When parents reach the period of old age, this is the time which offers the Muslim the greatest opportunity to fulfill his obligations to them, and thus hope to gain Allah’s pleasure. Muslims are counseled to keep in mind the fact that their elderly parents were devoted to them when they were in need of care as a child, while at the same time to remember that they are parents, not children, with all the rights and privileges due to them as such.

The Qur’an speaks directly to the question of the treatment of parents in old age: ‘‘Your Lord has decreed that you worship none save Him, and that you show kindness to parents. If one or both of them attain old age with you, say not ‘Uff!’ to them nor repulse them, but speak to them graciously. And lower unto them the wing of submission through mercy, and say: ‘My Lord, have mercy on them both as they did care for me when I was little’’’ (Qur’an 17:23–24). The Qur’an also stresses the obligation to parents and

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Voices of Life: Family, Home, and Society

its nature in the following verse: ‘‘[John the Baptist] was dutiful toward his parents; he was neither arrogant nor rebellious’’ (Qur’an 19:14).

In their discussion of Sura 17:23–24, Tabari and Ibn Kathir apply their previous comments on the child–parent relationship with some specification for the period of old age. Qurtubi, however, uses these verses as an opportu- nity to give his full exegesis on the subject. Tabari emphasizes that because of the words
wa qada rabbuka
(‘‘your Lord has decreed’’), this is a command from Allah to show kindness to parents, to do good to them, and to respect them. He says the meaning of the verses is not to grumble or utter a com- plaint about something that you see in one of them or both—a kind of mut- tering that people are hurt by, but rather, to be patient with them in anticipation of spiritual reward, as they were patient with you when you were young.
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He then refers to Mujahid’s statement that the reference in these verses is to the case where your parents are senile, in the condition of feces and urine, as you were as a baby, and you say ‘‘Uff!’’ to them.
30
As a further comment on the meaning of ‘‘Uff!’’ Tabari includes ‘Ata’illah ibn Abi Rabah’s statement, on the authority of Muhammad ibn Isma‘il al-Ahmasi: ‘‘Don’t brush your parents aside;’’ that is, do not treat them as if they were insignificant. Having stated what not to do, the verse then describes what to do by stating,
wa qul lahuma qawlan kariman
(‘‘but speak to them graciously’’), which is explained by Ibn Jurayj on the authority of al-Qasim: ‘‘The best that you can find of speech.’’
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Qurtubi says that reverence and goodness to parents is that you do not insult or blaspheme them because this is, without argument, one of the major sins. To qualify his statement and to illustrate the depth of its meaning, Qurtubi refers to the following hadith. ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr narrated that the Messenger of Allah said: ‘‘Verily, abuse of one’s parents is one of the major sins.’’ They said, ‘‘Oh Messenger of Allah, does a man abuse his parents?’’ ‘‘Yes,’’ he said. ‘‘The man insults the father of another man, so the other man insults the first one’s father, and he insults the other one’s mother and vice-versa.’’
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Also, in another hadith, the blasphemer of parents is placed on a par with the idol worshipper and the unwarranted innovator: ‘Ali said, ‘‘Allah curses whoever curses his parents. Allah curses whoever sacrifices to other than Allah! Allah curses whoever accommodates an innova- tor. Allah curses whoever changes the boundary lines of the land.’’
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