Waiting for Love ((Waiting) Book 2) (24 page)

“Okay, I can do that,” I say as I turn and make my way to the dressing room, where my dress is already waiting. As I close the curtain and give myself some privacy, I think about how handsome Jeff is going to look in the tux that he has to wear. He and Cory have become good friends and he was chosen as one of the groomsmen.

      Once I have the dress on I run my hands slowly over my hips, smoothing out the material as I go. The tea length skirt is full and sways as I move my hips from side to side as if I’m dancing. The deep purple of the taffeta has a nice sheen and shimmer to it. I know Hailey chose this color with me in mind. She knows it’s my favorite and she always tells me how good I look when I wear it. I’m really pleased with the dress she chose for me. It’s something I could actually wear again to a cocktail party or a semi-formal function. The bodice is tight with a sweetheart neckline and small, short sleeves cap the top of my arms. As I move around and test the dress for comfort, I notice that the bust feels a bit snug. I wonder if the seamstress took in that area. I’ll have to be sure to ask before I leave.

      “Shelby, get your butt out here so I can see how it looks,” Hailey yells from the waiting room. It’s a good thing that we’re the only customers in here right now. I come from the dressing area onto another dais, this one is located toward the right side of the room. Hailey walks toward me with a large smile spread across her face.

“You’re absolutely stunning in that dress. I can’t wait to see Jeff’s reaction to it.” I snort out loud because I know what his reaction is going to be. I won’t even make it through the reception without him throwing my skirt up and having his way with me. It’s definitely something for me to look forward to.

“When do the rest of your bridesmaids have their fittings?” I ask.

“We’re doing it on a night next week. No one besides you could come this early today and I wanted us to have a chance to hang out without a million interruptions. Why does it seem like I haven’t seen you in ages?”

“That’s because you haven’t.” I giggle. “The last time I saw you was the day you told me to go home and call Jeff. Little did I know he would be sitting there waiting for me when I got there.”

“If you had known that, you would have left a lot sooner, I’m sure.” Hailey giggles.

“I know right. I’m sure I would have. I was done being without him, that’s for sure.”

“Okay chickie, go get changed so we can grab a cocktail or two.”

“That sounds like a plan I can get on board with.” I go back into the dressing room and change back into my clothes. As I’m buttoning up my pants, a wave of dizziness washes over me, making me feel nauseous and shaky. I sit on the bench seat and slip on my ankle boots before I stand up again. My legs feel less than steady but I’m not experiencing the extreme dizziness I was a few minutes ago.
I must have gotten overheated
. It’s only as I’ve almost reached where Hailey is standing that black spots dot the outer edges of my vision and then suddenly everything goes dark.

    When I come to, I’m on a stretcher in an ambulance with an extremely handsome E.M.T. looking down at me. His brown eyes are intense as they watch me.

“Hey there, I knew you’d open up those pretty eyes for me. I’m Becker. You passed out for a bit there darling.” He says flirtatiously and flashes me a crooked smile. It’s only after seeing his smile that I realize I know him from somewhere. I look at his face some more and he’s definitely familiar to me.

“I know you from somewhere.” I say and I laugh inside knowing his ego is probably inflated enough to think that I’m using some pick up line on him.

“Sure darling.” He pacifies me.

“No, don’t be an ass. I’m totally serious. I never forget a face.” He’s checking my pulse and measuring my pulse oxygen level as I lay there, trying to hold still. I want to unstrap the belts that are holding me on the stretcher and sit up, but I know he won’t allow that. As he wraps the blood pressure cuff around my arm, it finally hits me where I know him from. I wait until he’s done taking my blood pressure before I speak.

“I just figured out where I know your conceited ass from. You work out with my brothers Greyson and Aiden.” His eyes go wide for a moment.

“Holy shit. You’re Seashell.” I nod my head and smile to myself. It cracks me up that my brothers all still call me that. It all started with Greyson when he was six and I was three. I can’t remember why he first said it, but it stuck and he’s hardly called me by any other name since then.

“Yep, the one and only. Don’t even think of calling any of my brothers and filling them in on what happened to me. They’ll be all up in my business and I don’t need that hassle. I have a wonderful fiancé who will be taking good care of me.”

    We pull up in the ambulance drop-off area and Becker and another E.M.T. wheel me inside the hospital. I’m immediately taken to a room and it’s not long before I’m being examined by the extremely tall Dr. Rogers. This guy is like a giant looming over me while I’m lying on the stretcher. “Okay, we’re going to get a urine sample from you and draw some blood to see what we can find out. It could just be that you were a little dehydrated or maybe your potassium levels are off. When’s the last time you had your menstrual cycle?”
That’s a good question. When was the last time I had my period?
I count backward on my mental calendar and realize that I haven’t had my period for around six weeks.
Oh my God. I wonder if I’m pregnant.
I close my eyes and try to calm myself down while simultaneously praying it’s not that. Please don’t let it be that. I’m not ready to be a mother now…maybe not ever.

    I’ve peed in a cup and blood has been drawn and now I’m just lying here waiting to find out what’s wrong with me. There’s a constant chant of
not pregnant, not pregnant, not pregnant
running through my mind on repeat. There are so many reasons why it would be horrible timing for me right now. Hopefully, it’s all the stress over the past six weeks that’s made my cycle wonky. I can’t bear to think of the alternative.

     I’m almost asleep when Jeff touches my arm. As soon as I see him, I burst into tears. He leans down and holds me in his arms, caressing my hair.

“What’s going on baby? Any news on why you passed out?” He whispers as he does his best to help me relax, but I know he’s worried about me. I can see it on his face no matter how hard he’s trying to hide it.

“They took some blood and I had to give a urine sample too. The doctor said he’d be back as soon as he had my test results from the lab.”

“Do you need anything? I can go get you a soda or something to eat if you’d like.”

“I’m all set J, but will you sit down with me?” I ask as I pat the bed beside me. He sits down next to me, kicking his sneakers off, before stretching his legs out next to mine. I lean my head on his shoulder and close my eyes. I’m feeling so sleepy and now that J’s here, I know he’ll watch out for me if I doze off. He kisses me on top of my head.

“Go to sleep baby girl, I got you.”

    I’m not sure how long I was asleep for but I wake up when Dr. Rogers comes back in the room. I introduce him to Jeff and as they shake hands, I find myself feeling nervous over the coming discussion. I don’t want to be pregnant but I’m also concerned it will be something horrible wrong with me, like a brain tumor. Of course, my mind immediately thinks of the worst case scenario. Dr. Rogers sets the laptop he’s holding down on the counter and turns to face me.

     “I got your initial test results back,” he begins. “Do you prefer I give them to you now or would you like to hear them without your fiancé in the room?”
Why would Jeff need to leave the room? Maybe it’s bad news and he thinks I’d prefer to get it without anyone else around.
My tongue suddenly feels thick in my mouth as I try to form the words.

“I want him to stay here with me.” I say and Jeff takes my hand as he sits down in the chair next to the bed. He squeezes my hand to comfort me or maybe it’s to give me strength; no matter the reason, it’s appreciated and needed. I stare at the doctor and wait for him to tell me what’s going on.

    “Your urine and blood work levels are all in the normal range.” He pauses and I breathe a sigh of relief. “We did find out that you are approximately seven or eight weeks pregnant.” I don’t hear anything beyond the word pregnant. My ears start to ring and my chest tightens from the anxiety attack I know I’m about to have. This one came on quickly, much faster than ever before. I gasp as my throat constricts and I know I’m not taking in enough oxygen because black spots are taking over my vision.

“Breathe slowly, Shelby” Jeff urges. He rubs my back and continues to remind me to breathe until Dr. Rogers steps in and directs me to lay down. He covers my nose with an oxygen mask and it helps, almost instantly. Now that the panic is dissipating I can think clearly again. I can’t believe I’m pregnant.
Fuck. How did I let this happen? What am I going to do?

    Jeff continues to calm me with his deep, hushed tone and his gentle hands as they soothingly rub my leg.

Dr. Rogers removes the oxygen from me and I look over at Jeff with tears in my eyes.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes with a prescription for prenatal vitamins and some instructions.” As he leaves the room, I begin to sob uncontrollably. Jeff pulls me into his arms and kisses my forehead.

“What are all these tears for baby girl?” He looks at me, his gaze full of concern as I try to stop the flow of my tears.

“I can’t believe I’m pregnant.” I wail out. He smiles at me, cupping my cheeks with both of his palms.

“I’m surprised too, but I want a family with you, Shelby. What does it matter if it happens now instead of a year or two down the road? Any way you look at it, this pregnancy is a blessing.”

“I love you even more for feeling happy about this, but I’m not, Jeff. I’m not sure I can do this right now.” I bite my lower lip and do my best to hold in all the words that are screaming to come out of me right now. I can’t do that to Jeff. There’s no reason to hurt him by saying things he doesn’t want or need to hear. This is one of those moments where I have to bite my tongue before I say something that will irreparably change him. Some words would cause damage once they pass through my lips. I turn my head away from him and face the other direction. I can’t bear to look any longer at the disappointment reflected in his eyes. He’s not the only one who’s disappointed in me but I don’t have to look at myself and see it so plainly displayed. I close my eyes and pray for sleep to take me away from my new reality. I don’t want to exist at this moment any longer.

***

     It’s later that same night and I’m lying on the couch watching an episode of The Walking Dead with Jeff. He has my feet resting in his lap and he’s rubbing my arches with his talented fingers. Having a physical therapist for a fiancé has its benefits. He’s always had great hands, even before he was trained in massage techniques, but now that he has been there’s no limit to what his hands can do. We haven’t spoken about the baby since we left the hospital. Jeff stopped at the pharmacy and filled my script before we came home. He also picked up some pizza and salad from our favorite takeout place. He thinks of everything, even when he’s less than pleased with me.

     Now that I’ve eaten, I’m finally relaxing, but I know we need to talk. I’m not looking forward to how that conversation or how it will go and I know it’s bound to happen soon.

     “Let’s go to bed, baby. You’ve had a long day and you need some rest. I’m glad you don’t have to work tomorrow. We can take it easy this weekend too.” He rises from the couch and bends down to scoop me up in his arms.

“Jeff, I don’t need you to carry me. I’m fine to walk.” This might be taking things a bit too far,
Jesus, I’m not made of glass.

“I want to carry you, baby. Let me take care of you. I’m going to spoil you rotten for the next nine months.”
And there it is...
Just one, of what will be numerous reminders of my epic fuck up. I get a stomach bug and now I’m knocked up. Some people make small mistakes that can be fixed with little effort. Not me. When I screw up, I do it so well it has epic repercussions that change my entire future.

***

     It’s now Saturday night and I’m putting some final touches on my makeup in front of the bathroom mirror while I wait for Jeff to get home. It’s taken a lot of cover up to make the dark circles under my eyes less apparent. They’re still noticeable, but at least, they look better than they did. I didn’t sleep hardly at all, last night. My mind was too active and I couldn’t seem to slow it down. I would normally just take a sleeping pill, but since I’m pregnant, I’m not sure if I’m allowed to. The long sleepless night was torturously spent with me berating myself for letting this happen. I swore I would never be in a situation like this. I’m not this person, and yet here I am, in this fucked up mess that is my life.

    Jeff is taking me out to dinner at one of our favorite restaurants. They serve homemade Italian cuisine that’s beyond compare. We’ve eaten there so frequently over the past couple of years, that we’ve become good friends with the owners, Gio, and Maggie. He’s originally from Italy and she’s an upper crust Bostonian through and through. On paper, they don’t make sense as a couple, but once you get to know them, they’re perfect together. His loud and bossy ways mesh well with her calm and sweet manner. They have three sons, all that of which have dark hair like Gio and green eyes like their mother. It’s a killer combination and someday they’re going to break a few girl’s hearts, I’ve no doubt about it.