Waiting for Love ((Waiting) Book 2) (22 page)

“I thought you might need some help. You don’t seem too steady on your feet.” I push myself away from the comfy wall and curl my lip in disgust.

“I’m fine. I’ve been fine for the last three years Garrett. Why the sudden concern?” I’m feeling rather impressed with my ability to think clearly, right now, in spite of all the alcohol coursing through my body. Then again, I think I may have peed most of it out.
“Shelby, I’ve always worried about you. Even when you didn’t know it. Now, when are you going to stop being so stubborn and hear me out? How about I come over tomorrow afternoon?” I’m sure there’s got to be a look of horror on my face at the thought of him stopping by our condo.

“Garrett, you can’t come over. Jeff and I live together and I’m pretty sure he’d punch first and ask questions later if you know what I mean.” He leans down and whispers huskily in my ear.

“Jeff’s not home this weekend and what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”
Oh my God! How does
he know that J’s not home? Is he spying on me?

“How do you know that Jeff’s out of town?” I ask him, figuring that being direct is the best approach.

“I overheard you and Max talking about it at lunch the other day,” He smirks cockily. It’s not bad enough that I have to worry about seeing him every day, but now I have to worry about him eavesdropping on private conversations.

“Wow, Garrett. That’s low, even for you.” I turn to walk away from him but he stops me by grabbing onto my arm. He spins me around until my back is resting up against the hallway wall. He steps closer to me, invading my space and making me feel claustrophobic. His hands are on both of my arms, keeping me still. I open my mouth to berate him and he seals his over it, keeping me silent with a heated kiss. I try to maneuver my lips away from his but it’s not possible and after a bit I no longer want to. His tongue is tangling with mine and I moan from the euphoric feeling of his lips on mine. He aligns his hard cock with my softness and pushes it against me. I roll my hips, needing the contact between us. The loud bang of a door shutting nearby is what finally snaps me out of my Garrett induced haze.

    I push him away and he releases my arms and takes a step back before running his hand through his caramel colored hair.

“This never should’ve happened.” I shake my head and tears fill my eyes. “You can’t just go pushing me into walls and kissing me. I have a fiancé Garrett. I love Jeff and you’re not being fair to him or to me. You and I had our chance and it wasn’t meant to be. You need to accept that or I’m going to have to look for another job.”

“I’m sorry if I put you in a bad position, Shelby, but I’m not sorry for kissing you. Having my lips on yours and you in my arms was the best thing that’s happened to me in over three years. I won’t do it again unless you want me to.” I roll my eyes at his conceit. I’m not going to want him to, no matter how hot that kiss was.

    When I get back to the bar Hailey and Ian are talking. She turns to look at me and notices my flushed complexion.

“You were gone so long; I was wondering if you left. Why are your cheeks so red?”

“The line was long and it’s really hot in here. You know I always look like this when I get overheated. Can we get out of here?”

***

   It’s after ten o’clock on Sunday night and Jeff just got home. I was already in bed when he arrived so he immediately stripped every article of clothing from his rock hard body and climbed under the covers with me. He has me in his arms before I know it and I can feel his ready cock against me. He kisses me with the weekend’s worth of pent up passion and rolls his hips against mine. A memory of Garrett gripping my thigh flashes in my thoughts and I quickly push it away, focusing on Jeff.

“Mmm,” I moan. “I missed you so much.” He continues to roll his hips and slide his cock back and forth along my slit. I can feel how wet I am and I need for him to be inside me. I need him to erase the memory of Garrett’s touch and the horrible guilt I’m feeling from what happened between us two nights ago. 

“What are you waiting for, an invitation?” I ask and giggle. He barks out a laugh and thrusts inside me. He groans and rests his forehead on mine.

“Baby, I missed you so much. It was agony being away from you and this tight pussy of yours, or should I say mine? This is all mine.” He thrusts in and out of me in a slow rhythm, but I need him to take me harder.

“Jeff, fuck me, now. Stop teasing me.” His hips immediately pick up the pace and he’s hitting all my sweet spots with his cock. I dig my nails into his back as I contract around him and he releases inside of me at the same time. We stay joined for a bit and hold each other close.

“Where’s a towel when you need one?” He jokes as his cock softens and starts to slip out of me.

“It’s okay, we’re on your side of the bed. You get to deal with the wet spot,” I giggle.

Chapter Twenty-One

Shelby

   I didn’t get a chance to talk to J last night about what happened between Garrett and I. Well, that’s not exactly true. I could’ve found the time to talk to him, I didn’t want to ruin our night by bringing up what will surely be a sore subject and now it’s Monday evening and I still haven’t said a word about it. The guilt from the whole situation is hanging precariously over me and I’m just waiting for it to fall and crush me at any moment.

     I’m making all of Jeff’s favorites for dinner. It’s one of Jeff’s favorite meals and I’m hoping it will butter him up a little so he takes the news better than I expect. I’m not sure how I’ll even broach the subject with him. He’s going to be so angry and I’m hoping he can forgive me for my part in it. If he wants to end our relationship, I don’t even know how I’d get past that. I’m slicing the fresh from the oven, garlic bread when he comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist.

“Hello, beautiful. Dinner smells incredible. I can’t wait to have some.”

“Grab a plate and take what you want.” He picks one up and fills it with double sized servings of each dish and goes to sit at the table. I laugh to myself that he can eat like a giant and never put on an ounce of weight. I pick up my plate and add a little bit of everything. I know if I don’t eat Jeff will worry about me. I’m going to have to force myself to swallow every bite because my stomach is already in knots over our impending conversation.

     Once dinner is over and the dishes are cleared away, we move into the living room to watch some television. I know that I need to bite the bullet and say what I have to as soon as possible. If Jeff gets focused on a show he likes he won’t even hear what I’m saying. We sit down side by side on the large couch and as he picks up the remote to turn the television on I put my hand on his arm to stop him.

“Wait. Don’t turn that on yet. There’s something I need to talk to you about.” I have his full attention now but I’m having a difficult time finding the right words to say.
There is no right way to say what I need to.

“You know how Hailey and I went out on Friday night.” I pause as he nods his head. “Well, Garrett and his friend Ian showed up.” Jeff’s eyes widen a tiny bit and it’s the only indication he heard what I just told him.

“And,” he prompts me to continue.

“Things were fine at first. I was ignoring him for the most part and Hailey was getting her digs in where she could. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, he grabbed me and kissed me. I tried to pull away, but he had me pinned against the wall. After a bit, I kissed him back.” My voice trails off to a whisper by the end of the last sentence.

“You kissed him back?” Jeff’s voice rises with each word he says. I nod my head in agreement. He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees with both of his hands clenching his hair. I reach over and touch his back.

“Jeff,” I start but he cuts me off.

“Don’t touch me!” He yells and shrugs my hand off of him. Tears fill my eyes as I realize the enormity of what I’ve done. I can’t stand to see him in so much pain.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t want this to happen. I love you, more than you could know.”

“I’m sure you were thinking about how much you loved me when your tongue was in his mouth.” He grits out through clenched teeth. He stands up and turns to me. “I’m leaving and I’m not sure when I’ll be back. I need some time to think about this.” He shakes his head and walks away toward our bedroom.
Fuck. He’s leaving me.
I burst into tears as I sit there, alone on the couch. My face is in my hands as my body is wracked with heaving sobs. I can’t believe this is all happening. I want to hate Garrett for this, but it’s my fault too. I kissed him back and I hate myself for it.

    Jeff returns to the living room where I’m sitting with a duffle bag over his shoulder. I look up at him with tear stricken eyes and all I want to do is throw myself at him and beg him to forgive me, but I don’t do that. I sit there, with my heart in my throat and let him do what he needs to do because I love him and I may have ruined the best thing in my life. He deserves so much more than me and I’m not sure why I ever thought there’d be a happy ending for us.

    “I’m leaving now. I’m going to go stay with Lee and I’m not sure how long I’ll be there. You’ve pretty much destroyed me with this, Shelby.” I nod my head as tears continue to fall unchecked, down my cheeks.

“I’m sorry J. In time, I hope you can forgive me.” The words are difficult to get out in between sobs but they had to be said. He stares at me for a moment, with an expression on his face that I’ve never seen before and I never want to again.

   
When he walks out of our condo, I can’t help but feel as though he’s walking out of my life for good.

***

     Somehow, I managed to catch a few hours of sleep. I called in to work this morning and said that I was sick.
Heartsick, counts as an illness, right? 
I can’t believe what a disaster my life has turned into, in the last twelve hours. It’s crazy how things can turn on a dime. One minute you’re deliriously happy and the next, your entire future’s all up in the air.

    I haven’t heard from Jeff, not that I expected to. I’ve never seen him like this before, and I know with complete certainty that I’ve broken his heart. I couldn’t feel worse than I do about it and I have to figure out what I’m going to do to help him move past this. Part of me thinks that the best thing for Jeff would be for me to disappear from his life, for good. He’d be sad at first, but there’s another girl out there, without all of my crazy, that he would find sooner or later. He wouldn’t have to deal with my baggage and my ex that I may never be completely over. The more I think about it, the better this idea sounds. I would have to quit my job with only a moment’s notice and that’s not exactly glowing reference material. No, as much as I’d like to run away from this situation, I know I need to stay put and deal with the fallout.

    It’s mid-afternoon and I’m lying on our couch, still wearing the pajamas I slept in last night. My hair is a tangled rat’s nest and I’m weak with hunger. I’m too depressed to get up and go through the effort of making myself something to eat. I’ve been napping on and off as I try to watch some television. Nothing is really interesting me and I’m still so tired from the lack of solid sleep last night. As I’m drifting off to sleep, there’s a knock on our door. Jeff has a key so I’m assuming it’s not him and I can’t think of anyone else that would show up unexpectedly. Well, maybe Hailey, but even she usually calls me first. I force myself to get up and walk to the door. I glance down at my pajamas and grimace. I’m in a pair of boy short type bottoms and a Patriots tee shirt. I run my hand over my head and try to smooth out the frizzy hairs that I know are sticking out all over my head. Oh well, this is as good as it’s going to get, I think as I open the door.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” I ask as I look over Garrett. He’s wearing jeans and running shoes, along with a Red Sox tee shirt. His body looks as hot as ever but right now, I’m mad enough at him to spit nails. As my eyes roam over his handsome face, they widen in surprise. His left eye is purple and swollen almost shut and there’s a cut on his bottom lip.

“What happened to you?” I ask, still not inviting him in.

“Can I please come in? I’d rather not have this discussion in the hallway.” I shrug my shoulders and step aside. I close the door and lock it before gesturing for him to have a seat on the couch. Once he’s settled in, I sit down, keeping a good amount of space between us. I’m not taking any chances after what happened on Friday night.

“So why are you here, exactly?” I ask, not mincing words.

“We need to talk and I’m sick of you avoiding me. I owe you an apology for everything on Friday night. I never should’ve kissed you. I take full responsibility for what happened. It was wrong of me, especially when I know you’re in love with someone else.”

“Apology accepted. You can go now.”

“Ouch. That hurts even more than your fiancé’s fist hitting my face, did.” My mouth drops open in surprise.

“Jeff, did this to you. Wow, I’m shocked, but I guess you did have it coming.” I smirk as I think about J punching him in the face. I’m a bit jealous and I wish I could’ve at least seen it. I bet Jeff looked hot going all alpha on his ass and I know my man actually enjoys throwing hands. He used to be quite the brawler in high school and he’s had to work really hard on quelling his natural urge to punch people in the face when they piss him off. I know it must have felt great for him to haul off and pop Garrett. Hell, I’d like to punch him in the face most of the time.

     “So what’s the big talk we need to have? Let’s get this over with because frankly I’m done with you holding it over my head. Let’s resolve this issue and then you don’t need to seek me out at work anymore. I can be like every other employee at Bentley Academy.”

      He leans forward with his hands clenched together in front of him. He looks nervous and unsure of himself and that’s certainly a change from what I’m used to seeing from him.

“When I left three years ago, I had a reason for it. I didn’t just take off because I didn’t want to be with you which is probably what you naturally assumed. That was the furthest thing from what happened, Shelby. When you went home for that week to see your family and grab some of your things, I got a letter in the mail. It was a large envelope and when I opened it there were pictures of you and me in various incriminating situations.”

“What do you mean?” I can’t help but interrupt.

“There were pictures of us passionately kissing and there were others of us walking along, holding hands. We looked happy and very much together. Anyone that saw them would be able to tell we were a couple and not a brand new one. There was a letter included in there that said if I didn’t leave Beacon immediately, they would report us to the dean and that you would be expelled.”

“And you believed them, just like that? Who sent the letter? You didn’t think that this was something we should’ve discussed and worked through together? That’s what you do when you’re in a relationship Garrett, you make decisions as a couple.” My voice raises with frustration.

“Shelby, the letter said that if I told you why I was leaving, that they would turn the pictures into the dean and it wasn’t signed. Anyone could’ve sent it to me. The postmark said, Boston. I couldn’t take the chance, that they weren’t serious about their threat. I knew how important your education was to you and I didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize that. I wasn’t about to ruin your future. You had it all planned out and I didn’t see any other option for making sure that you could achieve your dreams. I had to leave.”

      “Garrett, I loved you and you meant more to me than my education ever could have. God, how did you not know that?” I shake my head incredulously and my eyes sting with the burn of the tears I’m trying to suppress. “I could’ve transferred to another school and I would’ve gladly done that if you hadn’t made the choice for me. By keeping me in the dark, you denied us the past three years together and it was all for nothing. If you had really believed in our love, then you wouldn’t have left. You would have stayed and fought for our relationship.” I shake my head and wipe the tears from my cheeks. “Thank you for telling me all of this. I always wondered what I did wrong to make you leave without saying goodbye. I got the paper you left inside the box of my things, but all it said was, I’m sorry and that wasn’t really enough for me at   the time.”

      “Shelby, I’m so sorry. Seeing you like this makes me realize I made the wrong choice, but I was only trying to do right by you. I’ve thought about you every day for the past three years and there hasn’t been anyone else for me. I’ve been biding my time and waiting for you to be done with school so we could be together again. I guess in my fantasies I forgot to think about the part where you might have moved on with someone else.” His face reflects the same sadness that I’m feeling from his heartfelt admissions. I can’t believe he left Boston because of some threatening letter. What an ass. If he had just spoken to me, we’d probably be married by now. My heart hurts from all that he’s told me and I can’t help but be remorseful for all that we lost.

      “When you left, it was a really horrible time for me. I fell into a depression and if it weren't for Jeff and Hailey sticking by me, I wouldn’t have come out of it. I don’t want to make you feel worse than you do, but I attempted suicide, Garrett.” His gasp is loud and unexpected. He pulls me into his arms and holds me close. I rest my cheek on his chest and wrap my arms around his waist. “That’s how bad things were for me and if Jeff hadn’t come over that day when he did, you and I wouldn’t be able to have this conversation. He saved my life and he’s been there for me every minute of every day since. I owe him my life, but I also love him. What you’ve told me isn’t going to change things between you and I. That ship sailed a long time ago and the past can’t be undone. We can both find closure with this conversation and you can learn from the way this whole situation was handled. The next relationship you’re involved in; you might want to keep the lines of communication open better than you did with me.”