Waiting for Love ((Waiting) Book 2) (23 page)

Chapter Twenty-two

Jeff

     I can’t believe what a clusterfuck my life has turned into in the last twenty-four hours or maybe it already was prior to that and I just couldn’t see it. Perhaps, I’ve been living in denial and Shelby’s love for me is really an illusion that I’ve fooled myself into believing. My heart is literally aching from the pain she caused when she informed me that she kissed Garrett. It doesn’t really matter to me who initiated it because she reciprocated the kiss. If she didn’t still have feelings for him, she wouldn’t have done that. I’m torn between heartbreak and anger, right now. She broke my heart by kissing him but I’m so angry that he had the balls to go after my woman. It’s that anger that’s fueling my blood lust right now as I sit in my car and wait for him to get home from work.

     
Here he comes
. I get out of my car and make my way over to where he’s parked.

“Garrett,” I call his name as he starts to walk toward the building. He turns and sees me standing there with my arms crossed over my chest.

‘Jeff,” he answers, his brow cocked. “What can I do for you?”

“Well, for starters you can stay away from Shelby. Don’t look at her, don’t talk to her, don’t even think about her and if you touch her again, I’ll make sure you never get another chance.” As I finish speaking, I clench my right fist, drawing it back slightly, before extending it fully into his left eye. I follow it with a left hook to his lip.

“Consider this a warning, Garrett. Next time I won’t go so easy on you.” As I turn to walk away, I notice the drop of blood slowly trickling down toward his chin. It fires me up and makes me feel a twisted sense of satisfaction. I want to continue to beat his ass and fuck him up bad, but I won’t, not this time. If he touches her again, all bets are off and he’s going to end up in the hospital with his jaw wired shut.

***

     It’s now after midnight and I’m lying in the guest room bed at Lee’s apartment. The mattress is lumpy and smaller than I’m used to. I think about how I could be at home with Shelby right now, all snuggled up in our bed and it makes me sad. I’m still really hurt from what she did and I’m not sure how I’m going to get over this. If it were another guy, it would be bad enough, but the fact that it was him makes it so much worse. He’s the same person she left me for last time and I’m concerned that it might happen again. I don’t think I could survive losing her a second time and part of me thinks I should end things with her before she can decide she wants to be with him, instead of me.
Who am I kidding? I can’t even fathom the thought of a life without her in it. I just need a few days to get my head back on straight.

      I wonder how Shelby is doing. I’m extremely conflicted, I just up and left and didn’t even say goodbye to her. I couldn’t even think straight at the time. I was so overcome with hurt and I felt such a sense of betrayal. I’ve been there with her for the last three years, through thick and thin. Where has he been? I know she loves me, but when something like this happens, it makes me question whether I will ever be enough for her. I have barely glanced at another woman since I met her and the thought of kissing one, doesn’t even enter my mind. How could she kiss him if she loves me so much? It’s thoughts like this that cause my mind to be flooded with thoughts of the two of them locked together in a passionate embrace. I put the heels of both of palms over my eyes as if that’s going to help block out the painful images that keep running on a constant, torturous loop in my head.

      I glance over to the nightstand next to the bed where my cell phone is and wonder if I should call Shelby. I don’t think I’m ready to hear her voice yet so I decide to send her a text.

I think about what I want to say and decide to just start out as if nothing is wrong and see what happens from there.

Hi.
I decide to keep it as simple as possible and it doesn't get more basic than that. I only have to wait for a matter of seconds before my phone buzzes with a reply.

Hi back. I miss you.
My heart clenches a little as I read her text saying she misses me. I feel the same, but I need this time to process what happened so I can move forward with her. I don’t want to resent her for the rest of our lives. My head knows that it’s not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things, but my heart feels differently. I type out my next message for her.

I miss you too. How are you doing?
I want her to know that I miss her. She’ll be worried about what the outcome of all of this will be and I don’t want her concerned that I’m not thinking about her. Being away from Shelby is difficult on a regular day when I’m only at work, but being away from her for an indefinite period of time is a huge struggle for me.

I’m ok. How are you?
Should I tell her how fucking miserable I am without her? How I want nothing more than to be lying beside her in our bed with her head resting on my chest and her little exhales of breath, tickling my skin. No, I’m not going to let her off the hook that easily.

I’ve been better.
It’s not the nicest thing I could’ve written and I’m probably being a bit of a dick trying to make her feel bad, but it is what it is. How does a person handle a situation like this? What’s the right way to get over someone hurting you so much?

I love you and only you.
As I read her text, my eyes burn with the promise of tears. I want to believe that she means these words...so badly, I want to believe it. I think there’s a part of her that will always love Garrett because their relationship never got a chance to run its course. I’m okay with her loving him a little as long as she can keep some distance between them. I’d feel a lot better if she wasn’t seeing him at work all the time, but I’ll never make her leave her job over my own insecurities. I’ll have to learn to deal with them and as they say, time heals all wounds. I type out my last message to her for the night and in my own way I’m telling her that everything will be fine.

JRILY, baby.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Garrett

      I never should’ve kissed Shelby the other night at the club. I shouldn’t have gone to the club at all, but when I overheard her and Max talking about their plans for the weekend it seemed like a great idea. At the time, I wasn’t thinking about what an epic fail it could be and that it might be detrimental to the rocky footing, our relationship is already balancing on. Hindsight is twenty-twenty, so it’s easy to look back and see what I should’ve handled differently. I got caught up in the heat of the moment, standing so close to her...smelling her vanilla scent...looking in her bottomless brown eyes and staring at her pink bee stung lips. How much temptation can a normal, red-blooded male resist? I’m only human and when you add in my feelings for her, you don’t have to be Einstein to figure out what was going to happen. I know I apologized for kissing her when I went over to their apartment, but the only thing I’m sorry about is that she wishes it hadn’t happened. How can I be feel bad that I got to taste her lips again and feel her body moving passionately with mine?

      I’m a little surprised that Jeff confronted me. I didn’t think he had it in him, although I guess I shouldn’t be. He was the star quarterback at Beacon University, so he’s no stranger to getting physical. I think I remember Shelby once telling me that Jeff was a bit of a fighter when he was younger. I’m glad he went easy on me and didn’t bust me up too bad. I took the shots without defending myself for two reasons. One, I deserved it and two, now he thinks I’m some bumbling fool that doesn’t know how to take care of himself. If it ever happens again, I’m not going to just lay down and take it. I love it when people underestimate me and they get to see the folly of their quick judgments.

     I was worried about Shelby when she called in to work this morning. I wondered if she was trying to avoid me or if she was embarrassed about what happened. I felt better when I saw with my own eyes that she’s fine. I know she’s upset now and angry with me but she can’t deny that the passion between us is still very much there. Now that we’ve experienced the scorching hot passion that still exists between us it will make it that much more difficult for us to stay away from each other. Hopefully, this works in my favor. I’ve never before had to work for a woman’s attention and I’m not sure how to go about doing this now. I need to come up with a plan that will put us in contact with each other because if we don’t spend any time together, how can I win her over? I have to get her back...she belongs with me...not him.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Shelby

      After receiving Jeff’s text messages last night, I’m feeling a little bit better. I was able to get to Bentley and function normally throughout my workday. It was helpful that I didn’t see Garrett at all. I walked around on pins and needles waiting for the moment he would appear, but thankfully I didn’t have to deal with it.

     Even though I’m beginning to deal with all that’s happened, I still must have seemed off because Max asked me if I was okay on a couple of different occasions throughout the day. I told him I was just feeling a little under the weather. I had to say something to justify my absence yesterday and why I look like shit today. He seems to accept it at face value and for that I’m grateful. If he were to pester me about it, I might be tempted to give in and confide in him. I need to talk to someone about everything that’s going on, so I’m currently on my way to the condo Hailey and Cory own. I promised to fill her in when I’m there and she promised me there’d be lots of chocolate and wine to help make me feel better. I hope it works, God knows nothing else is.

      Once I’m inside their swanky condo, Hailey enfolds me in a sweet hug. Of course, I instantly feel like crying but I fight the tears back. What good is crying going to do? Tears are not going to bring J home and they’re not going to keep Garrett out of the picture.

“I’m so glad I get to see you today, even if the circumstances suck,” Hailey says as she gestures for me to sit on their large sofa. Once I’m seated, she puts her hand on my shoulder and asks what I want to drink?

“I have wine, beer, water, soda or tequila. What’s your poison?” I think about what I’m in the mood for but I’m not really feeling in the mood for life right now.

“I’ll take some tequila, please.” I base my choice on the which will make me numb the fastest.

Hailey hands me two shots to knock back.
She knows me so well.
Once I’ve had them both she sits down next to me and hands me a bottle of water. I smile at her as I open the cap, taking a sip to wash some of the tequila taste away. She always knows just what I need and I’m so blessed to have her as my best friend.

      “So what happened when you told Jeff about the kiss?” Hailey knows what went on the other night, in the hallway, outside of the club’s bathroom. I confessed all of my sins on the way home that night as I cried hysterically. I was feeling so torn up about what happened with Garrett and betraying Jeff, that it all came pouring out of me. I’m sure the amount of tequila I had consumed didn’t help. She tried to reassure me that Jeff loves me more than anything, but I knew what the outcome was likely to be and as it turned out, I was right.

      “When I told Jeff about the kiss he was understandably pissed. He wanted to know how I could do something like that if I love him. Then he packed his bag and left. I haven’t seen him since.” I take a sip of the water and try to get rid of the dryness that’s coating my throat from having this conversation. Hailey’s mouth is hanging open in shock and it takes her a moment to realize it.

“Where’s he staying?” She asks me, her blue eyes open wide.

“He’s staying with Lee.” I glance at Hailey to see if she reacts to his name, but she doesn’t. She and Lee dated during our junior year of college and he was crazy about her. She kept putting the brakes on their relationship and she didn’t want to commit to anything serious, so he finally gave up and moved on. Well, I’m not sure he ever “moved on,” but he knew enough to cut his losses and stay away from her. At the time, she was still trying to get over Cory and how much he’d hurt her. I guess things have a way of working out for the best because she and Cory are deliriously happy now and I’m sure the right girl for Lee is out there, somewhere.

“Have you talked with Jeff at all?” She asks, a look of worry on her face.” I shake my head before replying.

“No, I haven’t talked to him at all. He did text me last night, briefly. He said he loves me, so at least there’s that.” Hailey comfortingly rubs my shoulder. Just sitting here with her and talking things out, is making me feel better.

“You know Jeff loves you. That man is crazy about you. There’s no way he’s going to be able to stay away from you for much longer.” I bite my lip and think about what she just said. I know how much he loves me, but sometimes people reach their breaking point and decide that they need a change. What if me kissing Garrett was his final point and we can’t come back from it? I can’t imagine a life without him by my side. He’s been a constant in my day to day routine for over three years now and even longer if you add the eight months we were friends with benefits.

      I can still remember the first glimpse I saw of his gorgeous face on the first day of my sophomore year. He lured me in with his welcoming grin and his beautiful blue eyes that had a mischievous glint shining from them. Talk about a lethal pair. When he flashed me that megawatt smile and the dimple in his right cheek flirted with me, I knew I had to get to know him. It was one of those pivotal moments in my life that I think back on and realize destiny stepped in and steered me in his direction. If I had gone to any other table, we might never have met and my life would be so lacking without him in it. I thank God every day for blessing me with Jeff’s love. I may have some leftover attraction for Garrett, but Jeff owns me. I gave him my heart, what’s left of it anyway and he’s never given me a reason to regret it. Which only makes what I did to him even worse. I must be a heartless bitch to kiss another guy. I can’t even understand how it happened. It all seems like a blur and I know I was drinking a lot that night, but that’s no excuse.

    “Why don’t you call him, sweetie?” Hailey interrupts my thoughts with her question. I shrug my shoulders.

“I want to, but if he doesn’t answer I’m going to feel even worse. I think I’d rather give him the time he seems to want and hope that he’ll come back home soon.”

“I understand what you’re saying but I think you should reach out to him. He deserves to feel how much you love him and if you don’t call him, he’s going to convince himself that you don’t really care. You have to at least try and if he doesn’t answer you should leave him a message. He needs to know how much you miss him and that you can’t live without him, Shelby. Guys are notoriously insecure. He probably thinks you’re fine without him.” What Hailey is saying makes a lot of sense to me. He deserves to know how much he means to me and how much I want him in my life. When I get home, I’m going to call him and say all the things that need to be said, before it’s too late to.

“I think you’re right. I do need to call him and bare my soul. In fact, I’m going to get going right now so I can catch him as soon as he’s out of work.”

      Once I’m in my car, I immediately dial Jeff’s number. We’ve been apart long enough and it’s time for my man to come back home, where he belongs. His phone rings four times before his voicemail picks up. I wait for the beep so I can leave him a message.

Jeff, it’s me. I was hoping to talk to you and not your voicemail. There are so many things I need to say to you, but the most important of them all is that I love you. I love you more than anything in this life or the next. You are the most important person to me and I need you to come home…
I pause to take a deep breath and wipe the tears from my face before continuing on.
I just need you.
I barely get those last words out before I’ve run out of time. I hope he listens to my message and doesn’t just delete it. The words I spoke came from my heart and the emotion reflected in my tone was real.

      When I open the door to our condo and walk inside, I find Jeff sitting on our couch. I freeze for a moment from the unexpected shock of seeing him. We look at each other; both our expressions are guarded. I suddenly hear Hailey’s voice in my head urging me to go to him. I drop my Burberry tote to the floor and run across the room to him. He stands up and I’m in his arms six steps later. I wrap my arms and legs around him and cling on as if I’m never going to let go. I’m sobbing in relief as he gently holds me up in his arms.

“I love you so much, Jeff. I don’t want to spend another day without you. Please come home.” I open my mouth to continue begging when he places his finger over my lips.

“You don’t need to say anything else. I’m here and I'm not going anywhere, ever again. I’ve been miserable these past two days and I can’t spend another day without you right next to me. You are a part of every fiber of my being and I don’t even know how to get through my day without talking to you or running something by you. We’re a team, Shelby and it’s the greatest team I’ve ever been a part of.” He kisses me as if we haven’t kissed in weeks...as if kissing me is crucial to his very survival...as if he’s never going to stop. It’s the best kiss I’ve ever experienced because it means we made it. We survived our first giant speedbump in the road and as a result, we’ll be even stronger than we were before.

***

     It’s been six weeks since Jeff and I worked things out and he came back home. We’ve been sailing smoothly along without any issues or distractions. We’ve been spending all of our free time together and his travel schedule has been light since the Beacon University football team has had home games for the past few weeks.

      Garrett has been almost invisible at work. I’ve barely seen him and when I do he mutters a quick hello and that’s pretty much the extent of it. I’m not sure what sparked the complete turnaround in his attitude, but it definitely makes my work situation much more enjoyable. I like being able to be at Bentley each day and not have to worry about him popping in my room or finding some reason to talk to me. When I’m at work, I want to be able to put my complete focus on my teaching and how my students are doing. If they’re not succeeding, then I’m not doing my job properly. So far, most of my students have been doing even better than I originally hoped for. There are a handful of kids that I have to give some extra help to and ironically, the ones who need it most are usually the most reluctant to ask for it. Maybe they don’t want to ask for assistance because they think it will make them appear unintelligent or weak. I’m not sure what the answer is, but I do know that those are the students that I try to find a common ground with and help them emotionally as well as academically. Asking for help is an important life lesson and one that I learned the hard way. I don’t want anyone else to ever have to go through what I did and I’m thankful every day that Jeff found me in time.

      It’s the end of the day and I’m meeting Hailey for our dress fittings at the bridal shop. I can’t believe that she and Cory will be married next month. It seems so surreal that she’s marrying her childhood crush and that they’re so perfectly suited for each other. I never in a million years thought they would ever end up where they have, but now I can’t imagine her with anyone else. They fit together like pieces of a puzzle and they make perfect sense. She’s the Yin to his Yang, as corny as that may sound. It makes me wonder if people think that when they see Jeff and me together. I like to think we fit each other that well. I know he makes me happy and the two days we were apart last month showed me the full depth of my feelings for him. I don’t want to be without him ever again. He’s my calm, my peace, and my tranquility, all rolled into a fun, flirtatious, physically perfect male specimen. I can’t breathe properly without him by my side.

      It’s strange how you can be in love with more than one person in your lifetime and each experience has a different feel to it. When Garrett and I were together, our love was intense and exciting. I wanted him with an undeniable intensity and he made me feel equally desired and loved in return. His love was like riding in a fast car. It was thrilling and he made my heart race with just a simple look or touch. What Jeff and I have is completely different. The passion is still there and sex with Jeff is always beyond hot, but that crazy buzz or hum, just under my skin that Garrett gave me, isn’t present. I can think more clearly with Jeff and our love is solid and steady. We can build a lifetime on the foundation we’ve created and the thought of our future together makes me smile.

      Hailey’s already trying on her wedding dress when I get there. This is the next to last fitting and I can’t wait to see how it looks on her. I don’t have to wait for more than a couple of minutes when the curtain draws back and she comes out to stand on the dais in front of all the mirrors. Her dress is white satin and strapless. The top is fitted tightly to her large chest and the skirt which is made of a light and airy material flares very slightly from the waist down. There isn’t a train on the back of the skirt. Hailey didn’t want one and I can’t say I blame her. I’m not really a fan of them either. There are tiny pearls spaced out evenly over the entirety of the skirt. The whole thing is elegant and understated just like Hailey herself.

      “Hailey, you look so beautiful. This dress is perfect for you and Cory is going to swallow his tongue when he sees you in it.” Hailey lets out a giggle at the image of Cory, I’ve conjured up. “I’m not even exaggerating, Hails. You look like a princess or a movie star. I can’t imagine what you’re going to look like with your hair and makeup done too. You’ll be the most gorgeous bride, ever.”

“Oh stop it. You’ll make me blush.” Hailey says and I notice that it’s too late. She has a nice red flush washing over her complexion at this very moment. I smile and think about how adorable she is.

“Shelby, why don’t you go get your maid of honor dress on while I get out of this thing.” I nod my head in agreement.