Waiting for Perfect (28 page)

SEBASTIAN

Why is it that I’m
not interested in Emma’s huge breasts in my face?
 
I’m sitting in first period, and that very determined little
nymph is leaning forward, talking about God-knows-what, with her boobs nearly
hanging out of her shirt.
 
And
instead of imagining my face squished in between those globes, my mind is
preoccupied with memories of a tight little body with big ideas about helping
me find my mom.

In History, it’s
more of the same.
 
Megan decided to
forgive me for bailing on her after school yesterday.
 
She’s still resolute about taking me to homecoming and screwing
me before Emma does.
 
They are both
gorgeous.
 
If I were thinking
clearly, I’d be more inclined to give in to one of them – or hell, maybe
both of them – but as it is, my thoughts are fully owned by the angel I
couldn’t bear to part with this morning.

My group finally got
together last weekend to work on our project.
 
Of course, we waited until the last minute since it’s due
today.
 
We stand in front of the
class to give our presentation about an ideal government, and it goes
surprisingly well.
 
Megan has drawn
out graphs and charts, and I am somewhat shocked to know she actually has a
decent brain nestled in all that bouncy, blonde hair.
 
All in all, it goes quickly, and I think we might manage to
get an A on this one.

When we take our seats,
Jeff gives me a fist bump and says, “Dude, we nailed it!”

“Yeah, I know.
 
That was awesome.”

Once the next group
starts presenting, and Mrs. Dillard’s attention is focused at the front of the
room, Jeff leans in toward me.
 
“Hey, I talked to Troy this morning.
 
He said Ryan’s dad is suing your cousin.”

I nod.
 
“Yeah, for a whole lotta dough
too.
 
He’s a dick.”

Jeff continues,
“Yeah, well, I guess he told Troy that if Kendra keeps her mouth shut, he’ll
drop the lawsuit.”

I whip my head
around to face him.
 
“What!” I
exclaim.
 
Loudly.

The entire class
turns to face me, and the group at the front of the class goes quiet.
 
Jeff is sitting up straight in his
chair with eyes focused ahead of him.

Mrs. Dillard barks,
“Mr. Veneto, do you have a problem?”

“Uh, no, Mrs.
Dillard.
 
Sorry.”
 
I get a flirty smile from Megan and a
few smirks from the rest of the class before everyone turns back around to face
the presenting group.
 
Mrs. Dillard
gives me a warning glare that lets me know I better shut my trap, so I do.

Another two groups
present before the bell rings.
 
I
never thought it would end.
 
I’ve
been dying to ask Jeff more about his conversation with Troy.

As he’s packing up
his backpack, I say, “So was Troy serious?
 
Did Ryan really tell him that he’d drop the lawsuit?”

Jeff pulls his
backpack onto his shoulders.
 
“Troy
told me this morning.
 
Ryan said
his dad is freaking out that if Kendra presses charges, he won’t be able to get
into Harvard.
 
Ryan said he would
forget about the whole lawsuit, as long as Kendra doesn’t get the police
involved.
 
Troy said he’s
serious.
 
Ryan even asked if Troy
would persuade Lexi to convince her.”

It takes a minute
for me to realize what this means.
 
As long as Kendra doesn’t press charges, Nick is in the clear.
 
He won’t owe Ryan a damn thing.
 
I should be happy, but something isn’t
sitting well with me.
 
It’s
Kendra.
 
Where does that leave
Kendra?

“Nick is freaking
out about the lawsuit.
 
He’d be
stoked to have it all over.
 
It’s
just…”

Jeff interrupts me
with a slap on the shoulder.
 
“I
know, right?
 
Lawsuit will be
over.
 
Nick is off the hook.
 
Ryan doesn’t spend the rest of his life
in jail.
 
Everybody wins.”
 
He backs away, as he speaks.
 
“Alright, Veneto.
 
See you later.”
 
He spins around and struts down the
hall.

I want to tell
Nick.
 
He needs to know.
 
Maybe we can talk to Kendra.
 
Christ, what the hell am I
thinking?
 
We can’t ask Kendra not
to press charges just to save Nick.
 
She has every right to punish that asshole for what he did to her.
 
I have to talk to Nick.

I hate that there’s
another period before lunch.
 
The
whole hour of class I’m thinking of Nick and what he’ll say when I tell him
about Ryan’s proposition – and what the hell we’re going to say to Kendra
about this.
 
I’m not even sure she
knows about Ryan’s lawsuit against Nick.
 
I know I’ve never told her.

When third period
is finally over, I rush to the lunch tables.
 
I want to catch Nick before he decides to eat lunch in the
music room with his friends.
 
My
cousin and I haven’t been talking much these last few days, but we really need
to discuss this shit about Morgan.

As I’m hustling
toward the lunch tables, I catch a glimpse of Kendra.
 
She’s running toward me with wide eyes.
 
When she gets closer, I see the tears
pooling in them.
 
She crashes into
me, nearly knocking me over as she throws her arms around my neck.

I take a step back
to regain my balance and then put my arms around her.
 
She’s sobbing into my chest, and my shirt gets hot and wet
with her tears.

“Shhh,” I say,
trying to soothe her.
 
“Shh.
 
You’re okay, angel.
 
I’ve got you.”

Her sobs come
uncontrollably, and she buries her face deeper into my shirt.

Seeing her like
this nearly destroys me.
 
I think
of our time together this morning when it was me crying like a baby.
 
I’d rather feel the pain.
 
I’d gladly take hers.

Still holding her
tightly, I lead her to our spot outside the 900 Building, where there aren’t as
many kids.
 
The ones that are there
move away when they see us.
 
I sit
her down and take a seat beside her, still sheltering her under my arm.

“Kendra, it’s
okay.
 
I’ve got you now.
 
You’re safe.
 
Tell me what happened.
 
Did someone hurt you?”
 
If
someone hurt her, I’m going to kill him.
 
I can’t stand to see her like this.

She keeps her head
in my chest, and her voice is muffled in my now wet shirt.
 
“It’s Ryan.
 
He stopped me by my locker.”

My body tenses at
his name.
 
The thought of him
getting anywhere near Kendra has me ready to hunt him down.

“What did he do to
you?”
 
I grab her shoulders and
hold her away from me.
 
My eyes
scan her face, her eyes, and her clothes to make sure they’re not rustled
up.
 
I know it’s the middle of the
day at school, but who knows what that prick is capable of.

She shakes her head
and wipes tears from her eyes.
 
“He…he...God,
Sebastian, I don’t know what he was going to do.”
 
She turns her face into my chest again.

I smooth her hair
down and squeeze her closer to me.
 
“Kendra, did he touch you?”
 
My instincts to protect this girl are kicking in big time.
 
I want to slaughter Morgan.
 
“Did he hurt you?”

She sighs, and her
breath is uneven with her sobs.

I dip my head down
so my chin is resting on the top of her head.
 
Speaking softly, I say, “You can tell me, baby.
 
Please.
 
I hate seeing you like this.
 
Tell me what happened.”

She tilts her head
up to look at me.
 
Her eyes ringed
with smudged makeup.
 
She still
looks gorgeous.
 
I cup her cheeks
and use my thumbs to wipe under her eyes until the tears are gone.
 
I search her face, still holding it in
my palms, and the sadness living there is breaking me.

“I want to make it
better for you,” I whisper.
 
“I
just don’t know how.”

We’re sitting on
the ground.
 
Kendra is between my
legs with her knees curled up in a little ball.
 
My face is inches from hers.
 
I can feel her warm breath on my neck.
 
I want this girl.
 
I’ve wanted this girl from the first
time I saw her – when she tripped over her feet at the lunch tables
blabbing about needing to pee.
 
So
much has happened since then.
 
Now
she’s broken in my arms because some asshole had the nerve to take advantage of
this beautiful angel.

“Kendra, I…” I
can’t seem to form words.
 
I glance
down to her lips, and there’s only one thing I want to do at this moment.
 
But if Morgan put his hands on her a
minute ago, she’s not ready for me to kiss her.
 
She’d probably be offended.
 
And hurting this girl is the last thing I want to do.

I whisper again, “I
just want to make things better.”

Kendra sighs again,
finally calmed down enough to breathe evenly.
 
“Sebastian, you must know by now.
 
Just being near you makes it better.”

That stops my
heart.
 
Instead of tasting her
lips, like I’m craving, I settle for kissing her forehead.
 
She thinks just being with me makes it
better.
 
That’s what I’ve wanted
since that night at Jeff’s party.
 
I know I could never make her forget about that night, but I’ve just
wanted to make things better for her.
 
My fragile ego soars.
 
Mission
accomplished.

KENDRA

I’m sitting on the
concrete between Sebastian’s legs.
 
I’m nestled in his chest, and his warmth is all around me.
 
I didn’t want to tell him about what
Ryan did by my locker.
 
I
couldn’t.
 
I know how he and his
cousin get, and I couldn’t have them go fighting with Ryan again.
 
The fighting needs to stop.

He wants to make it
better – just like a man, trying to fix things.
 
Doesn’t he know that his very presence soothes me?
 
Doesn’t he know that I feel safest when
I’m in his arms?
 
Can’t he see that
even the way he’s looking at me right now makes me feel like everything in my life
will be okay?

He’s holding my
face in his hands and staring at me with his big, chocolate eyes.
 
There’s worry in them, and I know it’s
for me.
 
He cares about me –
that’s obvious – but what I’m feeling for him goes beyond that.
 
And it scares the hell out of me.
 
What if I give him my heart, and he
destroys me?
 
Could I survive
that?
 

I sigh, thinking
about all of the things I want to tell him.
 
Finally, I decide just to tell him the truth.
 
“Sebastian, you must know by now.
 
Just being near you makes it better.”

He kisses me on the
forehead, and the feel of his lips on my flesh spurs a fire deep within
me.
 
I look up into his eyes
again.
 
He leaves one hand cupping
my face and with the other, strokes my hair.

His lips are so
close to mine.
 
I gaze down at
them, so perfect – like the rest of him.
 
He’s phenomenal.
 
My breath hitches, and I lean in a little closer.
 
He’s moving his eyes over my face
– from my eyes to my mouth and back again.
 
I’ve wanted this for so long.

“Kendra…” he starts
to say.

Before he can get
out another word, I close the small gap between us and bring my lips to his.
 
He is surprised at first, but then he
wraps his arms around me and brings me in closer.
 

His soft lips are
electrifying.
 
Weeks of wanting
him, dreaming about him, and now he is here with me – holding me,
protecting me, kissing me.
 
His
kiss is slow, deliberate, and patient – like he’s waiting for me to set
the pace.
 
But I’m hungry for him
– ravenous.

I part my lips to
invite in his tongue, and he doesn’t hesitate.
 
He enters my mouth and slides his tongue together with
mine.
 
He doesn’t force it down my
throat like Bobby Coheed did.
 
He’s
gentle and delicious and perfect.

I move my body
around so I’m directly facing him, and I pull my legs over his.
 
My hands run up the front of his
shirt.
 
I feel the wetness of my
tears that have soaked through the cotton, and it reminds me of how he’s always
there for me.
 
Whenever I seem to
need someone, it’s Sebastian that appears.

My hands trace up
his hard chest and then wrap around his neck.
 
His kiss gets deeper, and I know we’re both feeling the
weeks of want coming to fruition.
 
He lowers his hands until they’re cupping my ass, and he lifts me up so
that I’m sitting on his lap, straddling him.

He breaks the kiss
and lowers his lips to my neck.
 
He
starts at my collarbone and licks up to my ear, sending a shiver of goose bumps
all over my body.
 
He brings his lips
to mine again and devours me.
 
His
tongue swirls and tastes every bit of my mouth.

I’m totally lost in
Sebastian, feeling him, needing him.
 
He’s giving me everything I need right now.
 
I’ve totally forgotten where I am until I hear a girl
passing by and giggling.
 
It pulls
me back to reality, and I realize we’re still sitting on the side of the building
at school during lunch.

Sebastian must feel
the change in me because he opens his eyes and slows his frenzied kiss.
 
He breaks away from my lips in soft
pecks and then lowers my ass back to the ground.
 
I smile at him and lean my head into his chest.
 
I never want to leave this exact
spot.
 
I could stay here in his
arms forever.

I tilt my head up
so I can see him.
 
The smile on my
face drops when I see the expression on his.
 
It’s not what I was expecting.
 
It’s hard as stone.

“Sebastian?
 
What is it?”
 
I move out of his embrace and sit up.
 
Dammit.
 
He regrets it.
 
I can see it on his face.
 
“Was that okay?
 
I’m
sorry.
 
Maybe I shouldn’t have
kissed you.”

He grabs my hand
and stands up, bringing me with him.
 
He hasn’t said a word. He’s not even looking at me.
 
I follow his gaze, and then I see
what’s got his attention.
 

Standing across the
courtyard with a perfect view of Sebastian and me, is Nick.
 
The look on his face is ice cold.
 
He stares at us for a moment before walking
toward the music room.

I turn to
Sebastian, confused.
 
“What’s that
all about?
 
He looks pissed.
 
Is everything okay with you guys?”

Sebastian puts his
arms around my neck and kisses me again.
 
It’s quick, but soft and gentle.
 
My eyes close in response, and I feel desire building in me again.

He pulls away and
takes my hand.
 
“Let’s go.
 
We need to talk to him.”

“We do?” I ask as I
follow along behind him.
 
He’s
walking quickly with long strides, and it takes me two steps to keep up with
each one of his.

When we reach the
music room, Nick is lying in the middle of the floor facing the ceiling.
 
There’s a guy in the front of the classroom
playing the cello – some horribly dark song that instantly makes me want
to cry.

The guy stops
playing after a second and stares at Sebastian and me.
 
Then he leans his cello into its stand
and walks out the door without saying a word.

Sebastian lets go
of my hand and steps into the room.
 
“Dude, we need to talk.”

Nick laughs about
something and stands up.
 
Then, he
takes a seat on one of the nearby stools.
 
“By all means.
 
Talk.”

These guys look
pissed at each other.
 
I have no
idea what’s going on, but I suddenly feel like I should leave and let these two
hash out whatever cousin thing they’ve got going on.

I step backward
toward the door.
 
“Do you guys want
me to leave?
 
I mean, lunch is
almost over anyway.
 
I should
probably grab something to eat.”

Sebastian speaks
up.
 
“No.
 
This involves you too.
 
Stay.”

Nick laughs
again.
 
I don’t know what’s so
funny or why they’re both acting so weird.

Nick spins around
once on the stool and says, “Well,
cuz
.
 
Why don’t you tell us what’s going on,
huh?”

I look to
Sebastian, waiting for some kind of explanation for why we’re all in the music
room for a talk.

Sebastian
sighs.
 
“I talked with Troy.
 
He said Ryan would drop the lawsuit
against you if Kendra doesn’t press charges.”

Lawsuit?
 
I look to Nick.
 
“What lawsuit?
 
What is Sebastian talking about?”

Nick’s face
deflates, and his shoulders hunch over.
 
“Shit, Sebastian.
 
She
didn’t need to know about Ryan’s deal.”

“What?” I say.
 
“Will somebody tell me what’s going
on?”
 
I hate feeling out of the
loop, and right now I’m completely lost.

They both ignore
me.

Sebastian says to
Nick, “You already know about Ryan’s deal?
 
Did you talk to Troy?”

“No,” Nick
answers.
 
“I talked with Ryan after
first period today.
 
He texted me
this morning before school saying he wanted to meet with me.”

“That’s why you ran
out the door after Calculus,” I say, more to myself than to him.
 
I wondered why he had left class so
fast.

“Dammit, Nick!”
Sebastian yells.
 
“Why didn’t you
tell me?
 
It could have been a
setup.
 
Morgan could have had all
his buddies there ready to jump you.
 
You should have had me go with you.
 
What were you thinking?”

Nick jumps off his
stool.
 
“What was
I
thinking?
 
What the hell are
you
thinking bringing Kendra into this?
 
She doesn’t need to know any of this!
 
She has enough on her plate deciding whether or not to press
charges against that dick.
 
She
doesn’t need this!”

“Guys!
 
I’m right here!
 
Somebody tell me what the hell is going
on!”
 
This whole conversation is so
over my head.

They both stop and
look at me.
 
Then they look at each
other.

Nick speaks up
first, directing a glare at Sebastian.
 
“Well, you decided to tell her, so tell her.”

Sebastian sighs and
walks to where I’m standing by the door.
 
“I wasn’t sure if you’d already heard or not – but either way, I
think you should know.
 
You have a
right to know what’s going on.”

Nick chuckles and
shakes his head, as he sits on his stool.

Sebastian
continues.
 
“Morgan is suing Nick
for medical expenses plus pain and suffering for when Nick put him in the
hospital at Jeff’s party.
 
He told
Troy this morning that he’d drop the lawsuit if you agreed not to press
charges.”

Nick
interrupts.
 
“But it’s bullshit,
Kendra.
 
He’d sue me either
way.
 
He’s just trying to cover his
ass.
 
He’s a shithead.
 
We shouldn’t believe him.”

Oh my God.
 
This is my fault.
 
Nick is being sued because of me.
 
I can’t believe this is happening.
 
I have to make this right.
 
There has to be a way to make this right.

They both must see
the shock on my face because instead of fighting with each other, they’re both
looking at me carefully.
 
Finally,
Sebastian leads me over to a chair by the cello.
 
I collapse into it and drop my head into my hands.

“This is awful!
 
Oh my God, Nick, I’m so sorry!
 
I didn’t mean for this to happen.
 
I’m so sorry.”
 
I’m feeling tears come again as I hide
my face in my hands.

Nick rushes over to
me and kneels by my side.
 
He takes
my hand and rubs the back of it with his thumb.
 
“Stop, Kendra.
 
This is exactly why I didn’t want you to know.
 
This is not your fault, and I don’t want you to blame
yourself.
 
It was me who messed
up.
 
There were other ways to
handle that night.
 
I just let my
anger get the best of me.
 
This is
not your fault.”

Sebastian slowly
makes his way behind me and rubs my back.
 
“It’s okay, angel.
 
Whatever
you want to do, we’re going to support you either way.”

Nick squeezes my
hand.
 
“You’ve got to press charges
against him, Kendra.
 
The prick
doesn’t deserve to get away with this.”

I look up and see
both Veneto cousins worried about me.
 
How’d I get so lucky?
 
Where
did these two even come from?
 
How
are they always here when I need them? Even when their family is facing a lawsuit,
they are worried about me.
 
Stupid
asshole Morgan!
 
How can he do
this?