Waiting For Rachel: A Christian Romance (Those Karlsson Boys) (10 page)

“Hi, Rachel,” Serena said as she walked to the counter.

“Hey. Are you here to pick up the books?”

Serena nodded. “And maybe a book or two for myself.”

Rachel pulled the bag of church books out from under the counter. “Uh, why don’t you wait until after Christmas to do that?”

Serena’s left eyebrow arched. “Why?”

“You know why, silly. You just never know what might be under the tree for you.”

Serena rubbed her gloved hands together, excitement shining in her eyes. “I can hardly wait!”

“Me, too.” And as Rachel said the words, she realized that she really was looking forward to Christmas with Serena and Mari.

Concern replaced the excitement in Serena’s eyes. “How are you doing?”

Rachel knew she couldn’t fool Serena with a pat answer. “I’m doing okay. It’s weird to be so hurt by ending a relationship that never really got off the ground.”

“Well, I think we both know it did get off the ground. It may have been unconventional, but the two of you did have a relationship.”

Rachel looked down at her hands and rubbed at a hangnail on her thumb. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I wish it had all happened at another time. I had planned to wait until after Christmas before really ending it. I felt like I was leading Damian on.”

“Only as much as he wanted to be led, Rache. He could have taken your ‘no’ as ‘no’ a long time ago. He chose to participate in the cat and mouse game the two of you played. I just wish I understood.”

Rachel looked at her friend, very tempted to spill everything. “Maybe I’ll tell you about it
someday. It involves a rather painful part of my past. My mom was the only person who knew.”

“We all have secrets, I guess. I have a couple of my own.”

“Hey, maybe we should have a sharing secrets party.”

“I think that’s called a slumber party,” Serena said with a wink. “And I haven’t been to one since I was in
junior high.”

“Isn’t that what we’re having Christmas Eve? A slumber party?” Rachel asked.

“Not unless we’re all going to sleep in the same room with our blankets and pillows. And, of course, snack foods, nail polish, and a good scary movie.”

“Guess it doesn’t qualify then.” Rachel couldn’t keep the corners of her lips from lifting slightly.

“I’m glad to see that smile,” Serena said.

“It’s been hard to smile since Sunday night.” Rachel sighed. “I feel like the joy has been zapped right out of my life.”

“Aw, Rache, I know you’re hurting right now. I don’t mean to lecture, but you should try to find your joy in the Lord, not in circumstances.” Serena reached for Rachel’s hand. “Things will change in your life. People will come and go. If you get your joy from those things, it will never last. The only person who is unchanging in our lives is Christ. Get your joy from Him, and then no matter what else happens, even when it’s painful, the undercurrent of joy will still be there.

Rachel considered Serena’s advice. It was true. She tended to let events dictate the state of her spiritual life and the level of joy she felt.

“Okay, I’m done with my sermon.” Serena released her hand and grinned. “I guess hanging around those pastors has rubbed off on me.”

“I appreciate your words and the reminder,” Rachel began but paused when the bell jingled. Eagerly she looked towards the door. Disappointment swamped her when it wasn’t Damian who walked into the store but another customer.

“I’ll talk to you later, hon,” Serena said, picking up the bag from the counter. “This isn’t the time or place for this discussion. I just hate to see you so down.”

Rachel forced a smile. “I’ll be okay. I’ve made it through some rough times and lived to laugh again.” Seeing the skepticism on Serena’s face, Rachel tried to reassure her again. “Really, Serena. I’m focusing on being with you and Mari, and all the fun we’re going to have. See you tomorrow night?”

“Of course. I’ll be there with junk food that none of us need but will enjoy anyway.”

Serena left the store just as a customer came up to the counter and captured Rachel’s attention.

*****

Christmas Eve day passed in a blur. Rachel had both Mari and Sue in the store working since it was so busy. When three o’clock finally rolled around and Rachel flipped the closed sign on the door, the three of them breathed a sigh of relief.

Sue didn’t waste any time getting her stuff together, including the bag of gifts Rachel had given her. “Have a merry Christmas, you guys.”

“You too, Sue. I imagine it will be pretty wild at your house tomorrow morning,” Rachel said, giving her a hug.

“No doubt.” Sue hugged Mari and then left the store.

“You ready to go, Mari?” Rachel asked.

“Yes. I can’t wait.” Mari’s eyes sparkled. “This will be the best Christmas I’ve had since my folks passed away.”

“It’s my first since my mom died. I think it will be better than I had imagined.” Rachel stood in the doorway of her office and pulled her boots on.

Mari slipped into her jacket and took her purse from under the counter. “I think we’re going to have fun.”

“I hope so.” Rachel began shutting off lights.

Mari checked the coffee pot, and then waited by the door while Rachel pulled on her jacket and set the alarm. Together they left the shop and headed out to Rachel’s car. It had started snowing earlier in the day, and big, fat, fluffy flakes still fell. Perfect Christmas snow.

Serena arrived just before five, laden down, as promised, with bags of food.

“Are you coming for the night or a week?” Rachel asked as she helped carry the bags to the kitchen.

“Just making sure we don’t run out of food.”

Rachel pointed to the spread on the counter. “I don’t think that will be a problem.”

Mari stood next to the counter, a dip-covered carrot in her hand. “This dip is divine, Rachel.”

“You’ve got healthy stuff?” Serena wrinkled her nose.

“Only a few vegetables. You can use the dip to dunk the chips if the vegetables aren’t up your alley.”

Serena slid onto a stool on the other side of the counter and reached for a carrot. “I’ll start with healthy stuff.”

Rachel felt the tensions of the past few days begin to slip away. The ache in her heart hadn’t faded, but Rachel didn’t want to think about it right then. She would need to deal with it all eventually, but not on Christmas Eve.

*****

“Want to come with me to Rachel’s?” Jace asked as he and Damian lounged in their parents’ den.

“Rachel’s?” Damian asked. “I guess you want to see Mari, eh?”

Jace grinned. “Need you ask?”

“No, I don’t.”

“So, you want to come with me?” Jace asked again.

Damian knew he shouldn’t. He knew he should just leave her alone, but his heart longed to see her. And he had a gift for her, bought before their talk on Sunday night.

“Damian, this is your last chance. Otherwise I’m going on my own,” Jace warned.

“Have you asked Mom?” Damian asked. “She might not like us running off on Christmas Eve.”

“She’s fine with it, as long as we’re not gone longer than an hour. She said she still had a few gifts to wrap.”

“Then let’s go.” Damian pushed himself out of the easy chair he’d been sitting in. He moved slowly, still not sure it was the right decision.

“We’re taking my truck,” Damian informed Jace as they pulled on their jackets.

“You boys don’t be gone too long,” Sharon said as she walked out of the kitchen, drying her hands on her apron.

“Not more than an hour, Mom,” Jace promised.

“Tell the girls I said Merry Christmas.”

“We will.” Damian followed his brother out to the truck.

Jace, clutching a wrapped box, climbed into the passenger side of the cab. Damian slid behind the wheel and started up the engine.

As they approached Rachel’s house, Damian’s doubts grew. “It’s possible I’ll spoil the evening for Rachel if I show up. Maybe I’d better just stay in the truck.”

“You’re kidding me, right?” Jace said, incredulity lacing his tone. “You came along with me to sit in the truck?”

“I think it might be better if I just wait outside. Maybe I’ll walk the neighborhood and look at the Christmas lights,” Damian said as he pulled the truck into Rachel’s driveway behind Serena’s little car.

“You’re nuts.” Jace opened his door and climbed out. “Scared of a woman.” The door of the cab slammed shut with more force than necessary making Damian wince.

Damian looked out the front window of the car at the Rachel’s
cheerily-decorated house. Warm light spilled from the windows and reflected off the snow. It looked homey and welcoming…to all but him.

As he continued to watch the house, the front door opened, snagging his attention. He watched in amazement as Rachel stepped out onto the porch and headed in his direction. Damian’s breath caught in his lungs. He watched her gracefully walk in front of Serena’s car then down the driveway toward his truck.

Damian hit the switch to lower the window just as Rachel reached the truck.

Chapter Ten

“Why are you sitting out here in the cold?” Rachel asked.

“I wasn’t sure you’d want to see me tonight.”

Rachel cocked her head. Damian wished he could see the expression on her face, but the truck blocked any light from the house.

“I won’t lie and say it’s comfortable, but I also know we’re going to have to be together sooner or later.” She stepped back from the truck and waved her hand. “Come on in.”

Damian rolled the window back up and climbed out of the truck. He hesitated briefly before grabbing the gift he’d set between the front seats earlier. Rachel was already on her way back to the house. Damian locked the truck and followed her.

“Merry Christmas, Damian,” Mari greeted him cheerfully as he stepped into the house.

“You too, Mari.” Damian gave her a quick hug.

He looked into the living room and spotted Serena standing by the Christmas tree. Still holding Rachel’s gift, Damian edged past Mari. He bent to put the gift under the tree before giving Serena a hug.

“Merry Christmas, Serena.”

“Same to you.” Sadness was evident in her gaze.

“Hey, what’s got you so down?” Damian asked, glancing over his shoulder to see if Rachel was nearby.

“Need you ask? I feel so bad for you and Rachel.”

Damian shrugged as casually as he could. “These things happen.”

“I’m surprised you came with Jace.”

“So am I. I just hope I didn’t ruin the evening for Rachel.”

Serena looked past him, her gaze catching on something. “I think she’ll be okay.”

“Can I get you guys something to drink?” Rachel asked, appearing at Damian’s elbow.

“Yes—“ Jace began.

“No,” Damian said at the same time.

Rachel looked back and forth between them. “Well, which is it going to be?”

“We can’t stay long,” Damian explained. “Mom only gave us an hour.”

“Well, at least have some cookies.” Rachel pointed to a tray of beautifully decorated Christmas goodies sitting on the coffee table.

Jace immediately moved to pick a couple up, and Damian followed his brother’s example.

“These’re great,” Jace said enthusiastically.

“Yes, they are really good,” Damian agreed. “Did you make them?”

Rachel nodded. “They’re from my mom’s recipe. We made them every year.”

Damian heard the sadness in her voice and longed to comfort her, but he had no words. He wanted to take her in his arms and assure her that she wasn’t alone, that there was someone who loved her. But, of course, he couldn’t.

Tense silence filled the room, so thick, Damian figured he could have cut it with the proverbial knife.

“Thanks for the cookies, Rachel. Guess we’d better head back home.” Damian shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket, his fingers curling around the truck’s keys.

“We don’t have to leave quite yet,” Jace said, a plaintive look on his face.

“We do,” Damian said quietly. “Let’s let these ladies get back to their celebration. We need to go home and spend time with Mom and Dad.” It was just the four of them. He had never managed to get hold of Alex but his brother had left a message just saying his schedule was such that he couldn’t manage it, but he’d try and get home in the new year. Just one more disappointment to deal with.

Jace knew when he was beat. He shrugged into his jacket after Mari handed it to him. “See you on Saturday?”

Mari nodded. “I’ll be ready.”

As Damian walked past Rachel he paused and looked at her, longing for some sign that all was not over between them. Her beautiful, expressive eyes reflected sadness even though her lips curved into a smile.

“Merry Christmas, Damian.”

His hand, seemingly of its own accord, reached towards Rachel. Realizing what he was doing, Damian shoved it back into his pocket. “You have a Merry Christmas too, Rachel. I’m sorry if we spoiled your evening.”

“You didn’t. I hope you have a great time with your family.”

The three women walked with them to the door. The rush of cold air had the women stepping back, and Damian heard the door shut as soon as he and Jace stepped out.

Damian breathed a sigh of relief when they climbed into the truck and pulled out of the driveway. It really hadn’t been a good idea to go with Jace. He just hoped they hadn’t spoiled the women’s Christmas Eve together.

As he put the truck into gear, Damian glanced once more at Rachel’s house and saw all three women standing in the big picture window. Probably glad to see the taillights of his truck, Damian figured. There was a part of him that would have given a good chunk of money to be a fly on the wall of Rachel’s living room now that they’d left.

*****

“Well, that was interesting,” Rachel said as she stood at the window, flanked by Serena and Mari. “And unexpected.”

“Yeah, it was a surprise.” Serena moved from Rachel’s side. “Damian left a gift for you under the tree, by the way.”

Rachel turned from the window. “He did?”

Serena pointed to a rectangle-shaped box. Rachel couldn’t keep from going to the tree and picking it up.

“Are you going to open it?” Mari asked.

Rachel looked at the box. The wrapping paper was smooth beneath her fingers. She wondered if Damian had wrapped it himself, or it he’d had it gift wrapped at the store.

Damian’s scrawl filled the small card on the top of the box.
Merry Christmas, Rachel. In Christ, Damian.

Her gift for him sat on the floor of her closet upstairs. She’d bought it before their discussion on Sunday night. After that it hadn’t felt right to give it him.

“Open it,” Mari urged.

Rachel glanced at the young woman. The excitement in her eyes was contagious. “Okay, I’ll open it.”

Mari dragged her over to the couch, and they sat down. “What do you think it is? Something wonderfully romantic?”

“I doubt it.” She slipped a fingernail under the tape and began to lift it off the paper.

“Maybe he’ll surprise you,” Serena said as she sat down on Rachel’s other side.

Rachel paused and glanced at her friend. “Do you know what it is?”

A small smile lifted the corner of Serena’s mouth, and she shrugged. “Open it.”

Now Rachel wasn’t so sure she wanted to see what lay beneath the beautiful Christmas paper.

“What are you waiting for?” Serena asked. “I promise it won’t bite.”

Rachel carefully removed the rest of the tape and pulled the wrapping paper away from the box beneath. She lifted the top of the box and parted the tissue paper to find what it concealed.

Grinning, Rachel pulled out a small book-light and held it up. “That’s pretty practical.”

“What is it?” Mari asked.

“See, you use this clamp to clip the light to your book so you can read without any other lights on.”

Mari hmphed. “Well, that’s hardly a romantic gift. Damian has really disappointed me.”

Rachel felt mainly relief and tried to push aside the small bubble of disappointment. It was only natural that Damian’s gift be something practical. After their conversation he probably hadn’t dared to give her a more personal gift.

“Hey, there’s a note on this thing.” Mari pointed to a small card hanging from the light.

Rachel had assumed it was information on the light. She turned the card around so she could read it. “Since I’m not the light of your life, I thought you might need this.”

Reading Damian’s words, Rachel didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Because she had company, she just shook her head. “That guy.”

“I think there’s more,” Serena said, poking a finger at the tissue paper.

“Really?” Rachel turned her attention back to the box and pulled out the rest of the tissue paper. As she did, a flat black velvet box fell onto her lap. She stared at it.

“Aren’t you going to open it?” Mari asked. “If you do this with every gift tomorrow morning, we’re going to be here until after the New Year.”

Rachel picked up the box and slowly opened it, afraid to see what lay inside. Her throat tightened as she spotted a gold pendent in the shape of a book hanging from a thin gold chain. She fingered the small book before pulling the chain free from the box and holding it up for a closer inspection. There in the middle of the book, sparkling in the light, was a diamond.

“Oooh,” Mari said as she leaned close. “Now that’s more like it. Damian has just redeemed himself.”

Rachel knew she shouldn’t keep it. It was far too expensive a gift now that their relationship, if it had ever been that, was over.

“Here.” Serena held out an envelope. “Damian asked me to give this to you if you seemed to be thinking about giving it back to him. I’m pretty sure that’s what’s going through your mind at the moment.”

Rachel lowered the necklace back into the box and took the envelope. She lifted the flap and pulled out a single sheet of paper.

Mari and Serena left her alone on the couch, suddenly making excuses about being hungry.

Smoothing the paper open, Rachel bent her head to read it.

“Rachel, I know you’re not going to want to keep this gift, and part of me understands why. I hope you’ll reconsider. There are no strings attached to the necklace. I’ll have no expectations if you keep it. I saw it and thought of you. I’m hoping we can still be friends, so, from one friend to another, please accept the necklace. Damian.”

Rachel looked again at the necklace and with trembling fingers lifted it and managed to undo the hook. She looped it around her neck, fastening it beneath her hair. Rachel let her fingers trail along the gold chain until they reached the dainty book pendant. Gripping it, she closed her eyes, wishing for all the world that things could have been different, that she could have been a whole woman. The woman Damian thought she was.

“You okay?”

Rachel looked up to see Serena standing next to her, concern in her eyes.

“I’m fine. Just wishing things were different.”

“I wish I understood,” Serena said, sitting down in the spot she’d vacated earlier.

“Maybe someday I’ll tell you.” Rachel smiled and began to gather up the wrapping paper from the box. “Right now, we are going to celebrate Christmas.”

They spent the rest of the evening eating and talking. Late that night they found a channel that was playing “It’s a Wonderful Life” and, after changing into their pajamas, they curled up in front of the fireplace to watch it.

Since they didn’t get to bed until after one, they all slept in the next morning. Breakfast wasn’t high on anyone’s priority list, so they dove right into the presents and then on to their Christmas dinner. Much too soon, the day drew to a close.

“Are you sure you have to go?” Rachel asked Serena as they stood on the porch.

“I’ve already left my cat too long. She’s probably going nuts.” Serena stepped off the porch. “Thanks so much for a great Christmas. It wasn’t the lonely affair I thought it would be.”

“For me either,” Rachel agreed. “You should have just brought Mitzy along.”

Serena laughed. “She’s hyper enough in a familiar environment. I’d hate to see what she’d do in an unfamiliar one.” She stepped off the last step and turned to wave. “Enjoy the rest of your day.”

“You too.” Rachel wrapped her arms tighter across her chest as a sudden gust of cold wind hit them.

“Bye, Serena,” Mari called, peeking around Rachel.

They stood together in the waning daylight, watching as Serena’s car pulled out of the driveway and drove away.

“Yikes, it’s cold,” Rachel said. “Let’s get back inside.”

Mari followed her back into the house. “Is it okay if I stay for a while longer?”

“Stay as long as you’d like.” Rachel shut the front door. “We’ve still got a ton of food to eat.”

Mari groaned and rubbed her stomach. “Please, no more food.”

“I couldn’t agree with you more.” Rachel grinned. “But someone’s going to have to help me eat this food. I’ll gain fifteen pounds if I eat it all myself. And since I already need to lose about ten, that’s not a good thing.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I’ll eat more. Just not right now.”

“Let me guess. You can eat and eat and not gain a pound, right?”

Mari shrugged. “Yeah, I don’t seem to have to watch what I eat too carefully.”

“I hate you,” Rachel said, her grin taking the heat out of the words. “Your parents must have passed on some good genes. Lucky you.”

Mari suddenly fell silent, her expression pensive.

“Oh, Mari, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up painful memories.” Rachel looped her arm around the shoulders of the younger woman.

Mari looked at her and smiled. “It’s okay. Actually, there’s something I want to talk to you about. I’ll be back in a minute.”

Rachel busied herself putting away the last of the dishes from dinner while she waited for Mari. It must be hard to be so young and already have no family. At least she had a father and a brother, even though it had been forever since she’d last seen them. Rachel hoped she hadn’t spoiled Mari’s day by bringing up sad memories.