Waking Elizabeth (15 page)

“Ellie?”
Ronan asked, concerned.
 

“I’m
fine,” I stammered to regain control, “I have to get better at this, don’t I?”

Ronan
wasn’t convinced and he looked at our entwined fingers, “Another one?”

“I
think I was still thinking about the painting.
 
It’s been a long day, a lot to process.
 
Maybe I need a drink.”

“That
I can do,” Ronan led me from his apartment and down the stone stairs to the
courtyard.
 
I was thankful that I was
behind him and it was getting dark so he wouldn’t see my eyes fastened on our
joined hands.
 
He had held my hand off
and on all day, why did it suddenly feel different?
 
Was I losing my mind?
 
I was now more determined than ever to see
Dr. Cross for an appointment the following day.
 
Maybe he would have some answers.

Jess
was waiting for us in the lobby with her cell phone pressed firmly against her
ear.
 
Her eyes swept over us, our hands
still joined from our walk from the Tower.
 
I watched as they suddenly lifted to mine and I could sense her
onslaught of questions.
 
She would never
embarrass us like that, but knowing her, she would have something to say.
 

“Okay,
we’ll push it back one hour but see if we can work in the embassy guy that
asked for an appointment.
 
Okay,
thanks.
 
Talk to you in the
morning.”
 
She tapped her phone to end
the call before looking at us with a big smile.
 
“Hi guys!
 
That’s new,” she
pointed to our joined hands, “Let’s eat, I’m starving!”
 
She looked at Ronan, “Lead the way,
Romeo.
 
I’m sure I’m overdressed but I
don’t care.”

Ronan
opened the main door, “This way ladies.”

When
his back was turned Jess gave me a look that translated to something along the
lines of, we must have a lot to talk about.
 
I smiled and shook my head and attempted to change the subject, “Pub
food tonight?”

“Yes.
 
Not your average pub, but not a fancy
restaurant either,” Ronan answered as he walked beside me with my hand still
firmly grasped in his.

“So,
how are you feeling?
 
Better?
 
I was really worried today when he told me
what happened,” Jess said in a serious tone.

“I
was fine.
 
I was only in there with the
door shut for a few minutes, but I’ve never had a panic attack before, so it
was a little scary.”

“We
went back in there tonight, she did okay,” Ronan added before looking over at
me, “Are you cold Ellie?
 
Should we have
gotten you a sweater or something?”

I
smiled blissfully at his thoughtfulness, “I’m fine, thanks though.”
 
In my mind I got a brief glimpse of his
little shirt removal ceremony earlier and my face warmed with the memory.
 
As we walked Ronan pointed out different
things along our route.
 
I was amazed at
all the people out and about on a work night.
 
Things were so different where I lived.
 

“So,
what’s on tap for tomorrow?
 
Have you
totally thrown Geoff’s itinerary out the window?”
 
Jess asked.

“Somewhat,
although the place we went today was on his list.”

“Oh
yeah?
 
Where was that?”

“Hatfield
House,” I answered.

“And
what’s the significance of that?” she asked.

“It’s
where she lived as a child and was under house arrest for a time during her
sister’s reign,” Ronan answered for me.

“It’s
also where she was when she found out she was queen.
 
You know, under the tree, with a book,” I
added.

Jess
turned to look at me, “You mean …?”

“He
knows,” I said to her with a toss of my head, “He knows all of it.”

Jess
sighed with relief, “Thank God, now we don’t have to dance around it.
 
So, was it the same as in your vision?
 
Blue dress and all?”

“Exactly
the same,” I nodded.

“And
she led us right to the very spot where it happened.
 
There were no signs guiding us and I did
nothing but follow her lead.”

“Fascinating,”
Jess whispered, “So, Ronan, what do you make of all this?”

“I
think it can be overwhelming for her if she doesn’t learn to process the
visions in a constructive way.
 
I took
her to see someone today, a specialist in that sort of thing.
 
I think with his guidance she can learn to
embrace her past experiences and still not lose sight of the real Ellie.”

I
beamed at him and his response.
 
He
noticed this and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze and ran his thumb gently
against mine.

“A
specialist?” Jess asked, “Like a fortune teller in London?”

Ronan
chuckled, “Not exactly.
 
He’s a real doctor,
in a real office, not some neon flashing sign, bangle wearing gypsy.”

“Hey,
don’t knock Mona.
 
She was dead on,” I
chided him.

“True,
but she’s certainly not equipped to help you with the fallout.”

The
word fallout caught my attention as well as Jess’, “Fallout?
 
What do you mean?”

Ronan
was hesitant to reply and seemed to choose his words carefully, “Some people go
their entire life without ever experiencing a past life memory.
 
Some people may have one or two in their
lifetime.
 
Some people, like Ellie, are
overwhelmed with them and it’s usually tied to the very strong personality of
our reincarnation.
 
If they were
formidable and assertive in their lifetime, then one could reasonably expect to
feel that strong personality push to the forefront.”

“And
Elizabeth?” Jess asked.

“There
is no one I can think of that is as formidable and assertive as Elizabeth,”
Ronan answered with a serious tone.

Chapter
16

W
e arrived at the
pub and Ronan pushed open the door, allowing Jess and I to enter.
 
We were quickly seated at an intimate round
table by the window.

Jess
was still mulling over Ronan’s comment earlier, “Ok, so she was a strong woman,
no doubt, but … what does she want?
 
Why
all of a sudden is Ellie having all of these memories come at her full force?”

Ronan
turned to me and asked, “Ellie, when you were with Mona, was that the first
time you had ever had a vision like that?”

“As
far as I can remember, yes.
 
That had
never happened to me before.”

“But,
was there ever a time when you did something, ate something, or perhaps danced
to a piece of music where you felt different?
 
Or felt as if you had experienced that before?”

“Like
déjà vu?
 
Sure, everybody has that every
once in a while, don’t they?”

Ronan
nodded, “Yes.
 
But now that you’ve had
multiple visions of her life and things that she has done, do you recognize the
difference?
 
Earlier today you told me
that you felt her tears as she carved in the wall at the Bell Tower.
 
That’s not a normal déjà vu experience, is
it?”

He
was right, it was completely different.
 
Having a quick flash and a feeling that you’ve been somewhere before is
nothing like the last few visions I had experienced, “No, it is
different.”
 

“So,
what does she want?
 
How does it
end?
 
I mean, will Ellie do this
forever?” Jess asked as the waitress set our drinks down in front of us.

“Possibly,
but that’s what Dr. Cross is for.
 
He’ll
help her work through those feelings.
 
And as far as what Elizabeth wants, there’s no definitive answer to that
question but some doctors and spiritual leaders believe that these people come
back to finish something they started, or even simpler, they loved the life
they had and are not willing to let it go.”
 

Ronan
looked at me after making this statement, his dark hazel eyes a little more
subdued than what I was used to.
 
I tried
reading his thoughts but found myself too preoccupied by his words.
 
They frightened me for some reason.
 
I felt a chill shoot across my shoulders,
causing me to shudder, “Well, she can’t have my life.”

Jess
gave me a reassuring smile, “No, honey, she can’t.
 
And you know what?
 
There’s no way in hell she would make it a
week with Geoff either, so I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

For
the next two hours the three of us laughed and downed shots like we were in
college.
 
Jess and Ronan got along
wonderfully which thrilled me to no end.
 
How is it that he fit so easily within our circle without the slightest
hint of a problem?
 
At times I looked at
him from across the table and thought to myself, who is this magical man
sitting next to me that has me glowing like a school girl?
 
Then again, there were fleeting moments where
I felt like I had known him for centuries.
 
I watched his smile, his laughter and his movements, and all of them
seemed so familiar and intimate.
 
How was this possible?
 
I tried not to dwell on it or dissect it
which was my typical personality trait.
 
At some point during the evening Jess and I excused ourselves to the
ladies room where she looked at me in the mirror before exclaiming, “Why do I
have the feeling you are not coming home with me?”

I
was floored by her statement.
 
Honestly
the thought had never crossed my mind, neither had our situation which would be
ending in less than 10 days, “What are you talking about?”

“You
two, it’s so completely obvious how the two of you feel about each other.
 
I just can’t wrap my head around it.
 
I’ve never seen you fall so hard and fast for
someone.
 
You hardly date.
 
You’ve known this guy for 2 days and you are
finishing each other’s sentences.”
 
Jess
glared at me as she put on a layer of lipstick, “I’m happy for you, but I’m
just wondering how this is going to pan out.”

“I
honestly haven’t thought about it.
 
I
feel like there is so much going on right now, I don’t know, I’m trying to take
things one day at a time.
 
I might fly
out of here in ten days and never see or hear from him again.”
 

“And,
how do you feel about that?” she turned towards me and started to fuss with my
hair.

“I
don’t think I’d like it,” I answered honestly.

“Well,
we won’t think about it tonight,” Jess smiled at me, “Sorry to bring it
up.
 
You know how practical I am.
 
I do like him though.
 
He’s got this Renaissance man vibe about him,
like he belongs in a traveling history fair or something. ”

I
grinned, “I saw him with his shirt off in his apartment earlier.”

“What
the hell?
 
You’re just now telling me
this?” Jess crossed her arms defiantly, “Spill.”

“We
dropped by there for him to change before meeting you at the hotel.
 
Nothing happened, but he started taking his shirt
off as he was heading into his bedroom.
 
I admit to going full peeping tom and watching him.”

“And?”

“His
place was neat.
 
He has a small apartment
at the tower but it’s very modern.
 
Not
like the stone walls of the tower cells or anything.
 
There were paintings on his wall of Elizabeth
and this man, Robert Dudley.
 
It didn’t
look like your typical guy’s apartment.”

Jess
gave me an eye roll and cleared her throat, “Sorry, you must have me confused
with someone who gives a shit about what his apartment looked like.
 
I was clearly asking what he looked like
without his shirt on.”

I
laughed and hid my face behind my hand, “Sorry.
 
Um … he was delicious.”

“Delicious?”
she asked, her eyes widening, “That good?”

“He
looks like a Greek god or something.
 
Just like you said, the spitting image of Jamie Dornan.”

“Ugh!”
Jess feigned aggravation, “I’m stuck in meetings all day with men who remind me
of Mickey Rooney and you get to spend your days and nights in castles with
Christian Grey.”

“I
haven’t seen any red rooms yet, if that’s what you’re implying,” I smiled,
nudging her towards the door.

“Don’t
tell me if you do, my jealousy may take over and I might toss you from our
balcony.”

We
headed back to the table and to my surprise there was a tall slender woman in a
sharp suit that was leaning against my empty chair talking with Ronan.
 
She had dark hair that was long and piled
atop her head in a messy but beautiful bun.
 
Her legs were shapely and the skirt she wore was clearly designed to
show them off. I felt an unfamiliar feeling creeping up inside of me as we
neared our seats.
 
Jess politely scooted
around the table to her chair but the woman was in my way.

“Excuse
me,” I murmured as I came up behind her.

“Oh,
Tania this is Ellie and Jess,” Ronan stood as I took my seat.
 

The
dark haired woman turned and offered me and tight lipped smile.
 
Unfortunately she was just as attractive from
this angle.
 
“Nice to meet you,” she held
out her hand and I took it with a tight lipped smile of my own.

“You
too,” I said, slipping into my seat.

“Tania
is a history professor at Greenwich University.
 
We studied together in undergraduate school,” Ronan sat back down.

“It
was good to see you again.
 
Tell your
parents hello for me,” Tania said and I couldn’t help but feel she had said it
for my benefit.

“I
certainly will.
 
I’m heading there for a
visit this weekend,” Ronan answered and I frowned at the realization that he
would be going away.
 
What day is it?
 
Amazing how when you are out of your normal
routine you can’t remember such a simple thing.
 
Tuesday.
 
It’s Tuesday.
 
I wonder when he leaves?
 
Friday?
 

Tania
never turned back around to acknowledge Jess and I and I quickly reached for my
beer to hide the disappointment on my face regarding his weekend trip.
 
I was scrambling, going from being downright
giddy with happiness in the bathroom with Jess a second ago to being blindsided
with a trip out of town and Ronan talking to a statuesque professor that
obviously had a lot more in common with him than I did.
 
I needed a minute, and I was praying someone
at the table would give me one.

“Do
your parents live around here?” Jess asked, already sensing my disappointment.

“West
of here, in Somerset,” he answered.

“How
long of a trip is that?” Jess continued, gently nudging me with her foot under
the table.

Ronan
sounded preoccupied, “It’s about two hours by train.”

I
could tell Jess was struggling with conversation so I hesitantly looked up and
offered them both a tight smile.

“Are
you alright?” Ronan asked, clearly able to read my face.
 
Damn!
 
Why was I so transparent?

“I’m
fine,” I was attempting to force myself to look normal.
 
This
was ridiculous.
 
I wasn’t a jealous
person, it wasn’t in my nature
.
 
But
as soon as I saw him talking to that woman I wanted to know who and what she
was to him.

“You
look pale, are you feeling well?”

Why was he pushing it?
 
I was about to conjure up some lame excuse
when the waitress appeared with a plate that held the most delicious looking
chocolate artistry I had ever seen.
 
My
mouth dropped open in awe.
 

“I
took the liberty of ordering this for you while you stepped away.
 
We haven’t talked about it but I assumed you
liked chocolate.”

“The
word
like
is an understatement.
 
It’s her favorite food group,” Jess answered
for me.

Ronan
gave me a satisfied grin, “I guessed as much.
 
Elizabeth herself was a fan of sweets.”

I
instantly felt somewhat better about the circumstances and reached for my fork,
“Thank you.
 
I do love chocolate and this
looks delicious.
 
Obviously you two can
share with me, there’s more than enough.”

Jess
reached for another fork and proceeded to dive in.
 
Ronan however sat back in his seat, his arms
resting casually on the table, “You’re not having any?” I asked.

“I
find it much more pleasurable watching you enjoy it.”
 

It
was quite possibly one of the sexiest things anyone had ever said to me.
 
I wasn’t sure if he meant it that way or not,
but clearly it had struck a chord.
 
I
smiled, sliding a piece of the delectable dessert in my mouth, pulling the fork
out slowly and deliberately.
 
He watched
my every move, his eyes never leaving me except to dart from my eyes to my
mouth.
 

“Did
I do well?” he asked me, his eyes twinkling with waywardness.

“Very
well,” I answered.

“Okay
you two, get a room.
 
It’s just
dessert.
 
But delicious by the way,” Jess
said, placing her fork on the plate and breaking our spell.
 

“What
are the plans for tomorrow?” Jess asked me.

I
shrugged, “I’m not sure yet.
 
I guess I
haven’t really thought about it.
 
Maybe I
should look at the list and see what’s there.”

“We
could do Westminster and Windsor, stay in London for the day,” Ronan said as he
raised his hand to grab the attention of our waitress, “Do you want some
coffee?” he asked me, “Jess?”

“Yes,
please,” I answered.
 
Jess declined and
folded her napkin on the table.

“Of
course, I shouldn’t presume you still want me as a guide, but I’m certainly
available if you do.”