Waking Elizabeth (12 page)

“Quite
a clothes horse,” I said, leaning down to get a better look at the gloves and
stockings, “They look uncomfortable,” I wrinkled my nose at the coarse fabric.

“I’m
sure they were,” Ronan teased, “I’m not sure there was anything comfortable
about life in the 1500’s.”

We
continued on in the gallery until we reached a door that led directly outside,
“Why did she have scars?” I asked.

“Smallpox.
 
She almost died of it when she was 29.
 
It left her with scars on her face, legs, and
hands.
 
They weren’t very prominent but
she was a very vain women so this disturbed her and she did what she could to
hide it,” Ronan pushed open the door that led to the outdoor courtyard, “How
about a stroll through the grounds?”

I
looked up at the bright sun, “Sounds perfect, after I duck into the little
girls’ room.”

“Sure,”
he said, “I’ll get us something to drink and wait for you here.”

I
dashed into the bathroom and was disappointed to find a line.
 
Where had all these people been earlier?
 
There were only two stalls in the small room
and I quickly looked at the map posted on the wall to see if there was another
one close by.
 
Not seeing one I decided
to wait my turn like everyone else.
 
Taking a minute to check my appearance in the mirror while I waited for
the next stall, I noticed the faint scar that Ronan had pointed out that
morning.
 
In my mind I heard him saying
the word smallpox and how Elizabeth had struggled to cover her own scars after
it left her face marred.
 
Recognizing the
similarities but not willing to dwell on it I turned away from the mirror and
waited.

Once
outside Ronan stood waiting for me with two iced coffees in his hand, “I took a
risk and assumed you liked it.”

“Risk
rewarded with a big thank you,” I reached for it, “I love coffee any way I can
get it.”

He
was looking at me sheepishly as he reached into his pocket, “I took another
risk,” handing me my phone he continued, “Your phone was ringing while you were
in the restroom.
 
I ignored it at first,
but then it rang again and again.
 
Whoever it was sounded like they really needed you so I looked and
noticed it was from Jess.
 
I answered
it.
 
I hope you don’t mind.”

I
took the phone, having completely forgotten that he had it, “That’s ok.
 
We’re all friends.
 
Did she need anything?”

“She
wondered if we would be back in time for dinner, I told her I would make sure
we were back at whatever time she needed you.
 
She suggested we all have a casual dinner somewhere tonight.”

“Oh,”
I was somewhat surprised and very excited that I might be having dinner with
him again tonight and that Jess had instigated it.
 
Realizing he hadn’t given an answer I
causally asked as I sipped my coffee, “And?”

“And,
I was going to leave that up to you.
 
I
would love to have dinner with you and Jess again, but I wasn’t sure if you
would be sick of me by the end of the day.”

I
almost laughed at how ridiculous it sounded.
 
Sick of him?
 
He must be kidding
.
 
“I think dinner sounds wonderful, but it’s my
treat this time.
 
You can recommend the
place.
 
How about somewhere casual, a pub
maybe?”

“I
know the perfect place,” he smiled.

“Good.”
 
I handed my phone back to him and he slipped
it into his front pocket.
 
“And for the
record, there is not an ounce of me that’s sick of you, Mr. Sutton.”

“Thank
you, Miss Regan,” his smile dazzled me, as did the way his eyes seemed to drink
in the site of me.
 
I was definitely
feeling something for him and it was the complete opposite of the word sick.
 

He
took me by the hand and led me across the courtyard, which sent chills of
excitement up and down my arms.
 
His long
fingers entwined with mine as he ushered me past the gardens and down a
desolate dirt road with trees on either side.
 
It was a perfect garden walk with our coffee, hand in hand like we had
known each other for ages.
 

“Where
are we headed?”

“The
gardens are through here.
 
It’s a nice
walk, I just thought you’d like it,” Ronan answered, giving my hand a
squeeze.
 
The cool wind shook the trees
around us, the sound enveloping us in our own private cocoon.
 
There wasn’t a sole around, all the other
tourists were up near one of the houses.
 
It felt so natural being in this setting with him.
 
I closed my eyes momentarily and got a flash
of a familiar vision.
 
It was the one I
had when I was with Mona.
 
My eyes
snapped open and I looked around, searching for something familiar.
 
I was surrounded by green for as far as the
eye could see.
 
I closed my eyes again
and saw myself under the huge oak tree with my pale blue dress.
 
The wind whipped my hair around my face.
 
I could see bright red strands of it floating
around me.
 
As I looked up at the
enormous tree I felt the ground shaking around me.
 
The riders were approaching.
 
I forced my eyes open again to look around,
no longer frightened by what I saw and desperately in search of something
familiar in my surroundings.
 
I saw a
path off to the left and I pulled Ronan towards it, “This way,” I said, urging
him to follow me.
 
My back was to him but
had I been facing him I would have seen the knowing smile that played on his
full lips.
 
Our fingers were still
entwined as I guided him down a narrow path between a row of trees.
 
I had no idea where I was going, but I
strongly felt the urge to take the path that we were on.
 
As we walked I realized that the less I fought
the easier things came.
 
I felt a certain
peace in this place that I had never felt before.
 
I knew, without a doubt that s
he
wanted me to be here.
 
I reached a small clearing where a diminutive
oak stood separate from the other trees.
 
It was certainly not the massive tree from my vision.
 
I frowned at it, knowing it was not the
same.
 

“Something
wrong?” he asked, reading the look on my face.

“I
just thought,” I trailed off, not knowing how to explain myself, “I don’t know,
I thought there was something else here.”

I
dropped his hand and walked closer to the tree where I noticed a small wooden
plaque.

“Do
you know what this is?” I heard him ask behind me.

“No,
should I?” I murmured, focused on the plaque.
 

 
“Ellie, this is where Elizabeth was sitting when
she found out that her sister had died and she was now the Queen of England.”

“This
isn’t the tree.
 
The real one was huge,”
I blurted out before I could stop myself.

Ronan
came to stand behind me and pointed to the plaque, “You’re right.
 
The original tree died, the current queen
planted this one in the 80’s on the original site where you now stand.”

I
took a seat on the grass with my legs tucked under me, the wind ruffling my
long hair.
 
Ronan sank into the grass
beside me, stretching his long legs out before him, “Legend has it that the
Queens Guard road from London on horseback and approached her from this very
road.
 
She was sitting under the tree
alone when they told her.”

I
closed my eyes and let the vision fill my senses like I knew it would.
 
I didn’t fight it, even with Ronan there,
“She was reading a book and wearing a blue dress.”

“And
do you know what she said?” Ronan calmly asked.

I
smiled, knowing the words by heart, as if I’d written them myself, “This is the
Lord’s doing, and it is marvelous in our eyes.”

My
eyes snapped open, I had said too much, gone too far.
 
I looked over at him expecting him to react
with disbelief or make some sort of joke about how I knew such a thing.
 
Neither of those things happened.
 
His dark eyes held mine as if he were able to
see inside my very soul.
 
He didn’t say a
word and neither did I.
 
We sat in
silence for several seconds, something indescribable passing between us.
    

“Now?”
he asked, breaking the quiet, his eyes pleading with me, “Now will you tell
me?”
 
He reached up and swept my hair
from my shoulder.
 

Chapter
13

I
shook my head,
unwilling to lie and act like I had no idea what he was talking about.
 
I had more respect for him than that.
 
“I’m very … confused,” I whispered, turning
away from him.

“I
understand,” he murmured, “More than you think.”
 
He rose from the ground and offered me his
hand, “Do you want to stay?”

“No,”
I answered, reaching for his hand, “I’m ready.”

We
walked towards our waiting car, tossing our empty cups into the bin by the
entrance.
 
Once we were seated inside
Ronan instructed the driver to return to the Tower.

“Why
don’t you call Jess, tell her we’ll be back in time for dinner.
 
We can leave the hotel around six.”

I
nodded and quickly dialed her number.
 
When I heard her voice she sounded frantic.
 
“Ellie!
 
How are you?
 
I’ve been worried
sick!”

“Why?
 
I called to tell you that dinner is a
go.
 
We should be back in plenty of time
to leave the hotel around six.”

“Is
he there?
 
Did you tell him?”

From
the corner of my eye I noticed Ronan seemed to be in his own world as he looked
out the window, “No, of course not,” I answered her cheerfully in an effort to
not give away our conversation.

“Ellie,
he told me what happened in the Tower, he was worried about you.
 
I was worried about you.
 
I told him you had been dealing with some
heavy information and that I was worried that all this might have been too much
for you to handle.
 
He was very concerned
and asked if there was something he should know.
 
I told him I couldn’t tell him anything that
it would have to come from you.
 
He said
he knew there was something you were hiding but he wanted to let you come to
him in your own time.
 
I’m sorry, I just
figured after what happened in the tower today that you would have come clean.”

There
was no way to respond with him in the car with me, “Sure.
 
You take your time, six is fine.”

“Oh
God, I’m sorry I’ve put you in this situation, Ellie.
 
But I was worried and my mouth got the best
of me.”

“I
know, we’ll be careful,” I said, still attempting to provide cover, “I’ll see
you back at the room.”
 
I ended the call
and sat with my heart hammering in my ears as Ronan looked distantly out the
window.
 
The air was palpable.
 
He wasn’t a stupid man.
 
He knew I was covering our actual
conversation.

I
sat silently, waiting for him to face me.
 
I let out a pent up sigh, “Six is fine with Jess.”

“Am
I still invited?” he asked somberly, turning to face me.

“Of
course you are,” I shook my head, and the realization that we sounded like a
couple in the midst of a minor argument did not escape my notice, “I want you
to come.”

“Even
after your conversation with Jess?”

It
was impossible to avoid at this point. I wouldn’t insult his intelligence and
act like I had no idea what he was talking about.
 
We were past that now, and yet I had no idea
how I was going to handle the conversation that was bound to happen.
 
What
did he suspect? How should I bring it up?
 
Should I bring it up at all?
 
How
would he react?
 
More than likely I
would never see him again.
 

“Ellie,
you should weigh the turmoil that you’re putting yourself through right now
against just telling me what’s going on.
 
I promise you the later is the easier route,” he rested a hand on my leg
and gently tapped it, “I promise you won’t shock me.”

Ha!
 
I wanted to laugh.
 
“You say that but you have no idea what
you’re talking about.”

“Try
me.”

“It’s
so stupid.
 
I don’t even know why Jess
brought it up.”

“She
felt it was important and that it had something to do with what happened to you
in the tower today, which means it’s important to me.
 
Do you have some sort of medical condition
that I should be worried about?”
 
The way
he so casually asked that question told me that he didn’t really believe that
as a possibility.
 
He was drawing me out,
guessing something high on the scale of anxiety so that the real problem would
seem inconsequential.
 

“I
don’t have a medical condition.”

“Good.”

I
took a deep breath, “It’s going to sound so stupid once I tell you. You’re
going to roll your eyes and laugh and in an hour we’ll all be joking about it
over dinner.”

“Then
tell me so we can start laughing,” he smiled at me and tapped me on the nose.

Tell him
,
I urged my subconscious,
you’ve had a
good two days.
 
So you’ll never see him
again after he jumps from the car.
 
Hopefully he won’t be hurt too badly.
 
I’ll always have these two days to remember, and maybe I’ll visit him in
the hospital as he’s recovering from road rash before I head back to the
states.

“You’re
smiling, what’s going on in there?” he asked, grinning.

“Honestly?
 
I was thinking that I hope you don’t hurt
yourself when you dive from the car after I tell you.
 
So, before that happens I just wanted to tell
you that I’ve really enjoyed the last two days.
 
Meeting you was … is … the highlight of this trip, and I thank you for
all you’ve shown me and for taking time to drive out to Hatfield today.”

His
grin was infectious.
 
He wanted to laugh,
I could see it in the fine lines of his mouth as he held it back but he didn’t
out of respect for me of course, “Ellie …” he tilted his head towards me like I
was a child, “Tell me.”

Okay,
here goes, “A few weeks back, maybe a month or so, the girls and I went on a
trip to Lily Dale for my friend Phoebe’s birthday.
 
She’s a hippie, an old soul and she mediates
and burns incense and swears she was a dolphin in a previous life.
 
Anyway, she wanted to go to this town, Lily
Dale, because there are psychics there.
 
It’s like a whole little spiritualistic community.
 
I indulged her because, well, we just do that
with Phoebe, so we all went.
 
I don’t
believe in all that crap and I was never going to have a reading anyway.
 
Jess and I don’t care anything about all that
mess.
 
But while I was there alone in the
street, this woman, whose a retired psychic talked me into sitting on her porch
with her kooky cat and she took my hands and gave me some kind of past life
regression reading.
 
I told her I didn’t
have any money, and I wasn’t going to pay her and she said she was retired and
wouldn’t charge me anyway.
 
She asked me
a bunch of questions and told me to close my eyes so I did.”

“And,
what happened when you closed your eyes?” he leaned in and appeared riveted by
my story.
 
I was just impressed he was
still in the car.

“I
closed my eyes and I started seeing places and things I have never seen, never
been to.”

“Did
she lead you in any way?
 
Tell you what
you were seeing?
 
Who you were with?”

I
was surprised by his questions.
 
He
didn’t seem shocked at all.

“No.
 
She asked me where I was and what did I
see.
 
I told her that I was in a field,
in a blue dress and I was sitting under a tree.
 
I told her there was a leather bound book in my hands with initials sewn
into it and a language I didn’t recognize.
 
I told her I saw soldiers riding towards me and they were in armor.
 
They got off their horses and walked towards
me, knelt, and one of them gave me a ring.”

“And
then what?” he prodded.

I
shook my head, remembering the moment as if it was yesterday, “I started saying
the words I said to you earlier, and the woman, Mona was saying them with me,
at the exact same time.
 
I had never
heard those words before in my life.”

I
watched him, fully expecting him to ask our driver to pull over so he could get
out.
 
He studied me carefully before
calmly reaching out to unclench my hand I hadn’t realized was balled into a
fist in my lap.
 
“Did she tell you who
you were?”

I
was confused.
 
Why was he not shocked?
 
Why was
he not laughing at me?
 
“No, she
didn’t.
 
She told me that some people
find out they were farmers or maids in a past life and some people don’t.
 
She said I was on the ‘don’t’ list.
 
I left that night and went back to my room
and told Jess the story and she looked up the words.
 
That’s how I found out that
she
said them and where she was when she
did.”

“And
how do you feel about that?” he asked me, his fingers lacing with mine.

“Right
now I’m a little scared that
you
don’t think I’m crazy.
 
Are
you
crazy?”

He
gave me a disarming smile, “I’m not crazy, and I certainly don’t think you’re
crazy.”

“How
do you know?
 
How do you know I’m not
some wack-job that’s telling you all this for attention?”
 

“Ellie,”
his voice was composed and concentrated, “Can I tell you what I
do
know?”

“Yes,”
I answered nervously, wondering if the shoe was about to drop.

“I
know that you’ve never been to England before.
 
I work at the Tower and have access to some people who have access to
passport databases.
 
You can be angry
with me if you want, but I did look you up.”
 
He paused, I assumed it was to give me a minute to process his impromptu
admission regarding my makeshift background investigation, “I know that you
have an interest in a person from history that you seem to know nothing about
and yet you have certain unexplained knowledge of things that the ordinary
person doesn’t know.
 
I know that you had
some kind of extraordinary response when I slipped her ring on your finger
yesterday in my office.
 
This is after
you were able to ascertain that it was a locket ring and were able to identify
the two portraits that were painted inside.
 
I know that of the 12 acres of historical property at the Tower, you
made your way to the one place that Elizabeth was held prisoner and you
panicked when you found yourself locked inside.
 
I also watched not an hour ago as you led me directly to the one place
on the grounds of Hatfield House that had significant meaning to her and once
there you recited the words she spoke verbatim on that very spot over 456 years
ago.”

I
looked down at my fingers that gripped his hands, my knuckles almost white,
unsure of how I should respond.

“Do
you want me to go on?” he asked softly, “Because there’s more.”

“More?”
I questioned, unsure of what he was talking about.

“I
know you have brilliant red hair, a single scar on your face and that you’re a
dancer,” he continued.

I
rolled my eyes, “Completely random.
 
There are a lot of red haired ballet teachers that may or may not have a
scar on their face.”

“Yes,
but do they have the last name Regan?
 
And share the other laundry list of things that I just mentioned?”

“What
does my last name have to do with any of this?”

“Ellie,”
he offered me a gentle smile and I knew that I was about to be schooled in one
way or another, “Do you know what the name Regan means?”

“No,”
I answered honestly.
 
I’d never thought
to look it up.

“It
means Royal.”

The
word seemed to hang in the air around us, “Oh,” was my simple response.
 

I
took a minute to process everything he had just said.
 
I was confused and still hanging onto a shred
of hope that this was all just a crock of psychic crap, “You’re not buying into
all this are you?
 
I mean, how ridiculous
does all this sound?”