Walk Beside Me (Walk Series) (3 page)

After several steps, I walk up to Finn, face-to-face. His expression softened just a bit. And this time when I look at his face, it’s full of remorse. The bystanders watching our every move have verbally begun to protest my presence near Finn. The jolting jeers spook me causing me to lurch forward grabbing onto Finn. When I first try to reach out for him, I encounter nothing but air. I clearly see his flesh standing before me, but every time I reach for him there’s nothing. I try to speak, and my lips move but no sound escapes them. Time after time, I yell Finn’s name and fight like hell to tell him how much I love him. The outside noise and mobs of haters are too powerful to allow my message to be conveyed. It’s a sign I tell myself. It’s a sign that fairytales don’t exist. I clench my belly still standing before Finn. Our angry lynch mob surrounded us and the first thing I feel is something wet running down my face. It’s a tear. I use the back of my hands to brush it away. Finn watches my action, stepping closer to me, but it’s as if he’s walking into a glass wall. An invisible layer holding us apart. I watch as he continues to struggle and fight his way to me. Watching him put any sort of effort to reach me only makes me cry harder and faster. After minutes pass he finally surrenders his effort and the next words he speaks are so muted I can barely make them out. After I decipher them, I’m left wishing I never hear them. Four simple words consisting of five syllables answer all my questions and wonders about us.

“It was a mistake.”

My cheeks are now both soaked at the realization of what Finn just told me. My shoulders begin to shake and shudder as the tears from my cheeks begin to pool. I hear my name over and over again and know it’s the pissed off crowd. They all know how badly I devastated Finn, their hometown hero, and they want me gone. The raw emotion rolling from me is uncontrollable. I fight like hell to steady my shoulders and dry up my tears, but it seems they are working in unison and are much more powerful than I could have ever expected. Finn’s dad and Kara stand only feet away from me now where Finn once stood. I can only watch as Kara slowly and maliciously drags a pistol eye level to me. The grin covering her face tells her motive. Finn’s dad holds her in place coaxing her to pull the trigger. Looking down the end of the barrel, I know beyond a doubt that Finn will never love Kara the way he loved me. First her finger moves and in slow motion I watch the bullet fly straight to my face and I smile…

“Tessa, wake up right now.” The pulling of my shoulders becomes more rapid. “Will, I need your help.”

A stinging sensation lights on my face. It must be the gunshot.

“Tessa, wake up now.” The sound of Will’s voice sends me sitting straight up in bed.

Heavy heaves of breath escape and I battle to find control. My cheeks are wet. My hand flies to the wet liquid on my face and when I peer at them, I’m relieved to see clear liquid.

“Tessa, you’re okay.” A frightened Tommie pulls me into her arms. “You were having a nightmare.”

Will is standing near us with a concerned look covering his face, and I instantly feel horrible for causing even more stress on them.

“I’m sorry, guys. I guess I was dreaming?” It comes out more as a question than a statement.

Will sinks into the bottom of the bed facing both of us. “Tess, don’t apologize. We are family and will always be here and care for you no matter what.”

Tommie strengths her grip on me. “He’s right, Tess. We love you.”

Their words compared to the harsh reality of Scarlett’s are refreshing and breathe just the tiniest bit of hope back into me. I feel beyond guilty for keeping my pregnancy a secret from them but just know if Finn had found out he would have hunted me down.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys.” I pull back from Tommie and gesture to my baby bump.

“We know you are, Tess. I’m going to go fix us up something for lunch. I’ll call you hot preggos when it’s ready.”

The hint of laid back Will I know makes me giggle. He’s always been the rock for Tommie and me with his unusual personality and inappropriate comments, but the only thing that has ever mattered is his heart of gold.

We both watch in silence as he exits the room and leaves just the two of us sitting on my bed facing each other.

“How are you feeling?” I ran both my hands over my future niece or nephew.

“I’m fine, Tess.” Tommie grabs both of my hands as tears begin to escape her. “How are you, Tess?”

Allowing a breath of air to escape I answer her with a shake of my head.

“I’ve been better I guess. He hates me, Tommie.”

“Baby girl, he doesn’t hate you. He’s angry, but what did you expect?”

A grunt comes out as answer because I really didn’t know what to expect or to even begin to reply to her question. Honestly, I’d give anything to erase the last six months.

“You broke his heart, Tess, and I’m not trying to be mean, but you did.”

“She’s pregnant.” I lay back down on the bed staring at the cottage cheese spackling on the ceiling as my whisper vibrates around my room.

“Yes, she is. Finn didn’t run to her though. He was a complete mess, Tessa. Drunk every night and was even thrown in jail a couple of times.”

“He what?”

“Finn was thrown in jail twice for disorderly conduct. He was looking to fight with anyone or anything that walked or talked to him.” Tommie lies back on the baby blue daisy pillow next to me letting her black silky gown sprawl out on either side of her. “He had no hope.”

“But now?” I stare down at Tommie expecting her to divulge all details.

“I don’t know the whole story.”

“Tell me, Tommie.”

“I guess one night at the G-Spot Kara showed up.”

“Of course she did,” I interrupt.

“Well, she was looking for one thing and it only took her about two hours to bag him.”

“Finn,” I whisper.

“Yes, Finn.” Tommie fidgets nervously with the hem on her dress as she speaks. “It was one night and the next night is when he went to jail for the second time. Wes says Finn went ballistic when he woke up the next morning and realized what he’d done. Stewed all day over his night with Kara.”

“He’d given into Kara.” I shift my body to roll over on my other side staring down the perfectly placed pictures of Finn and me. “So, she finally won him back?"

“Yes, but that was the only time, Tessa. After that Finn refused to see her and permanently stayed with Granddaddy on the ranch. He’d go on long hauls for days. He became a ghost.” I feel Tommie’s hands begin to braid my hair. “Kara came back to town about a month later with her news of a baby.”

“How did Finn react?” I ask really not even wanting to know the answer.

“No one knows.”

“What do you mean?”

“No one knows, Tess. He didn’t leave the ranch or Granddaddy’s side. He worked his hands to the bone burying himself deep into the ranch.” Tommie’s voice begins to shake. “Wes said Kara would go visit Finn every once in a while but was never welcomed out there. He also thinks Finn knew Granddaddy didn’t have much time.”

“Was he sick? I thought it was unexpected.”

“It was, Tess, that’s the weird part.”

Another question that I really don’t want the answer to but my brain can’t seem to shut the hell up, “How far along is she?”

“Honestly, I don’t know for sure. I can’t stand looking at the bitch, but the word around town is she’s about four to five months.” 

“What?” I sit straight up looking back at Tommie still lying down.

“That’s the word around town and the timing is about right, but then again I can’t stand to hear her name being spoken.”

“She’s barely showing.” Carefully, I twist my body so that I’m facing Tommie again. This time I notice her glow and how content she looks. I want to continue on my rant about Kara and the fact she’s not showing like a typical four or five month pregnant woman. And trust me, I know the average since being typically larger my whole term. I’ve made the habit of asking pregnant woman how far along they are to gauge my belly.

“Topic change, Tommie. I want to know all about you. Are you having any contractions? Birth plans?”

She runs her hand down the side of my cheek and smiles sweetly back at my question.

“Well, I feel really good actually. I guess I’m one of those crazy women who absolutely love being pregnant. It really is the best feeling in the world.” Tommie pauses and covers her mouth while her blush bright red. “I’m going to miss preggo sex with Will. It’s been the absolute best.”

“Oh my God, I had no clue what you were going to say, but it wasn’t that. And quite frankly, I wouldn’t have a clue.”

“Sex is amazing being pregnant, Tess, but of course it’s getting more difficult.”

“You’re a whore.”  The spare lavender pillow flies at my face, and we both begin to giggle.

“Have you been following my Instagram, Tessa? I’ve posted lots of pictures there.”

“What do you think?” I cock an eyebrow at her.

“I know you hate social media, but you have to see it all. I took so many pictures to show you one day hoping it would be like you never left and missed any of it.”

“I love you, Tommie, more than you’ll ever know. Thank you for always being my rock. And I can never say sorry enough to you.” I place both my hands on her belly and clear my throat. “You’re the one person I could never live without. It would be tragic to lose anyone, but you’re the one person I can never lose. I’m so sorry I left. I was trying to protect you and Will. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was pregnant. I knew you’d just worry.”

Tommie’s hand covers my mouth.

“Stop saying sorry. I love you unconditionally. You’re my sister. My blood. We can have a misunderstanding and not talk for months or even years, but the fact remains you’re my sister.” Tommie leans over placing a kiss to my forehead. “Will, bring me my phone.”

Her yell is jolting and literally makes me tinkle in my pants.

“Damn, Tommie, thank you, but you just startled the hell out of me.”

We both laugh for a long time while continuing to hold each other before Will makes his way into the room with her cell phone. He knows better to ask what, why, or when. He just simply tosses it on the bed between us.

“Thank you, honey,” Tommie chirps.

“Your food will be ready in fifteen.”

“Oh my God, Tess, look at your belly.” Tommie is perched up on her elbows watching the material of my sundress roll and wave around as my little one kicks. “Tessa, oh my God, I’m going to cry.”

“Quit being dramatic, Tommie. After all, it is a baby, not a bowling ball.” A movement draws my attention from Tommie’s face to her baby bump. “Oh my God, your belly.”

All of our eyes go to Tommie and watch her dark black dress dance around as her baby rolls and kicks. Both of our faces are soaked in happy tears and when we look up we both catch Will wiping something away from his face.

“It was a bug,” he suggests totally busted.

His reply makes us all begin to laugh.

“You two are hard to deal with normal but being knocked up and having you both under a roof may drive me nuts. Thank God you’re about to calf any day, Tom.”

“You know you love it. Get over here and kiss me.” Tommie props herself up even further on her elbows, and I watch as Will makes his way over to her without any question placing a kiss on her lips. “Now go finish my meal. I’m famished.”

“Yeah, you look it.” Will jumps back before Tommie’s wonky punch lands on him.

Their display of affection makes me teary eyed once again, but I hold it all back. The two of them have everything together. It’s simple, but it’s theirs. I want that.

“Okay, look.” Tommie holds up her phone and flips through picture after picture. They vary from Will setting up the crib to them painting the nursery and her maternity pictures. Each one of them are beyond beautiful even the cell phone snapshots. Their professional ones of them together with Tommie’s pregnant belly make me weep. Not because of jealousy, rather I imagine our mom and dad’s face beaming back at those photos. They’ll never have a chance to be Grandparents.

I force myself to push down that emotion as she continues to show me her progress pictures that Will takes every month on the fifteenth day by their closet in their room. The pic is of a flat belly and the words “our bean”. Each picture progresses until her final one of nine months.

“Tommie, thank you. And I mean it. Those are priceless. Just wait until your little peanuts gets to look back on those.” This time I place a kiss on her forehead. “They tell a beautiful story.”

“Oh wait, you have to see the one that the photographer is using on her website for promotional use.” Tommie slides through her Instagram looking for it. “It’s of me almost completely naked with Will holding me. The only reason I’m letting them use it is because you can’t tell it’s Will or myself; our faces are hidden in a very artistic way.”

Tommie rambles on about this picture she’s looking for and see some familiar faces as she scrolls down her feed. Wes and Scarlett are the most common ones with happy faces and lots of selfies of the two kissing. Then I spot Kara.

“Stop,” I holler before I realize it.

“What?” Tommie sends me a sideways glance.