Walk Beside Me (Walk Series) (5 page)

“I love you, Finn. I know I’ve put you in a bad spot, but I’m only going to ask you this once.” My lips automatically land a delicate kiss on his. “Please choose me. Stay with me. I love you.”

Last night’s dream of Finn in my room was heaven compared to the nightmare I experienced earlier that day. Even though we fought, it was still surreal and worth every minute of it. If only it would have been real. Even in my still sleep-hazed state I know that I have to go to him today and let him know that I want him. I don’t care if he has proposed to Kara or not. I have to fight for him.

The pulsing sensation in my bladder becomes more and more violent causing me to wake at a quicker pace. Rubbing my eyes, I immediately notice the blinds pulled back on the large window in my room and I bolt straight up. My bare chest is exposed, hastily I pull the blankets up to cover myself, but they’re snagged on something. It’s Finn.
It wasn’t a dream.

All of last night’s events come flooding back to me at full speed as all signs of sleep linger away. My bladder is now fully throbbing signaling to me to get my ass to the bathroom, but I can’t pry my eyes from Finn’s sleeping body. Neither of us spoke another word after my confession to him.

Scooting to the edge of the bed, I steady myself to get up and remember Finn removing my prosthetic. Reaching down to the floor, I pick it up and stand. My whole body is sore from last night’s events, and I can only smile. Even if that was the last time with Finn at least I have a time to remember.

“What are you doing?” A sleepy voice asks.

Turning back to the bed, I see Finn trying to wake from his slumber. He’s even gorgeous in this state. I swear the messier his hair the hotter the man gets.

“Pee, duh.” I continue walking across the cold wooden floor. “I mean you have to know that pregnant women pee a lot right? With Kara being as far a long as she is.”

I cringe a bit at my comment, but then realize if I ever have a chance at being with Finn that Kara will always be in his life with their baby.

“Uh, not really. She rarely pisses,” Finn’s voice sounds closer when I look up I see him completely naked leaning on the door frame watching me pee. “Actually, now that you say she never complains about her bladder.”

“That’s odd,” I reply.

“Damn, you really had to piss, Momma.” Finn laughs at his own joke.

This really should be an awkward moment, but I vow to live every single moment with him he gives me.

“Your child is huge,” I shoot back.

“Yeah.”

“Seriously, I’m way bigger than Tommie who is due any day.”

“You’re beautiful.” Finn walks across the bathroom floor, sits on the edge of the tub, and turns on the water. He reaches for the bottle of soap pouring some underneath the tab.

I don’t know how to respond to his praise. It seems as though he’s doing everything in his power to avoid the inevitable future. It’s clear he doesn’t want to talk about Kara or anything close to that topic. Avoiding seems to be his main tactic. Then I remember what Tommie told me the day before about how he spent all of his time on the ranch.

Finn climbs into the steaming water settling in like he used to do last summer and then gestures for me to climb in.

“We won’t fit,” I say through my giggles trying to imagine us both smooshed in the tub.

“C’mon.” Finn’s wet hand grabs up at mine. “Get in with me. I want to wash you.”

“Well, how can I argue with that seeing as I’m already naked and in front of the love of my life?”

Finn leans up, grabs my hand and steadies me with the other. It’s a bit tricky, but I manage to make my way down into the tub without sloshing too much water over the edge. Reaching down, I release my prosthetic and before I can move Finn already has it setting on the outside of the tub.

His teeth nibble on my earlobe as he speaks. “I’ve missed you.”

Tears threaten to spill again, but I hold them back and try to cherish this time for what it is. And it’s Finn holding me.

“Tell me everything, Tessa, I want to know all about our baby.”

Reaching back I rest my hand on the nape of his neck while he continues to wash my body over and over again.

“There’s not much to tell. I met a hot stud and he knocked me up.”

Finn’s teeth sink down into my neck causing me to squeal. Before I let out too much noise he covers my mouth and begins to suck down on the spot.

“Now talk to me before I give you a matching mark on the other side.”

“Ouch, that hurt. Okay, okay! I guess the guy wasn’t that big of a stud.” Finn’s hand slaps my thigh while I continue on. “I moved to a small town in Oklahoma. Got a job at a small diner waiting on tables to help offset the cost of living and doctor bills.”

“I’ll pay you everything back,” he interrupts.

“No, you won’t. I have my inheritance but trying to save that for when the baby comes. I go to Dr. Marrow once a month to be checked on. And before Tommie or Will tattle on me, I haven’t had all the bells and whistles which they’ve had.” I fidget with the side of the tub as I explain my reasoning. “But my, I mean, our baby is super healthy and measuring huge.”

“Boy or girl.”

“I don’t know. I’ve only had one ultrasound and it was too early to tell then.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

Here we go again I think to myself with the berating. I don’t even attempt to answer him.

“You should’ve had a couple more. That’s ridiculous.”

“They’re expensive.”

“I don’t care.”

“We won’t agree on this topic, Finn, might as well drop it.”

“Fine.”

“You know all these little arguing and bickering sessions won’t stop me from losing you.” I shift my weight facing him in the tub petting his stubble. “I’m not walking away again, Finn.”

I want to yell,
“Please choose me, Finn. Just fucking choose me,”
but I contain myself. Finn kisses me with all he has and if I’m to guess he’s trying to tell me he wants me just as bad as I want him. Before I know it Finn is pulling me from the top after he’s thoroughly fucked me. I’m so completely exhausted I can’t even help him dry me off and dress me. I sit and watch his hands run a beige striped towel over my skin drying it off.

“Clothes?” He asks with a raise of his eyebrow.

“What? I can’t stay naked with you all day?”

Finn just shakes his head, but his eyes tell a different story of being torn. I don’t push the subject any further and just mentally thank him for the night and morning. He’ll probably never know how much it truly meant to me. Standing up I walk out into my room and find the small duffle bag of clothes I packed.

Winters in Iowa are brutal, so I packed accordingly with long sweater dresses and extra large leggings. It’s the most comfortable outfit I could ask for. As I dress, I notice Finn remains leaned up against a wall with his hands folded and a somber look on his face. No words can fix our situation, so I decided just to finish dressing.

When I finish my tummy growls, and I instantly recognize how hungry I am. Without a word, I go to Finn, grab his hand leading him out into the dining room. His body language is hesitant as he pulls back, but I don’t let go. As we enter the dining room, we are greeted with a variety of faces. Four to be more exact. Will, Tommie, Scarlett, and Wes are settled in the dining room sipping on coffee, eating breakfast, and shooting the breeze. The mood in the room tenses up with our appearances. I decide not to let it have any effect on me. Still holding on to Finn’s hand, I walk over to Tommie placing a kiss on her forehead and then do the same to Will. I find a place at the bar and try to heft my fat ass up onto the wooden barstools. Without asking, Finn grabs me by the hips and helps hoist me up. And even in a more natural fashion he places a kiss on my lips before he takes a seat next to me.

“Is this for real you two?” Looking up I see Scarlett standing up with her hands on her hips. “When are you two going to quit tearing everyone and everything apart?”

Her question and accusation hits me straight in the gut. She made it clear last night how pissed she was at me, but I never understood her level of hate and discontent towards the situation and me.

Everyone is left just staring at each other. Tommie is close to tears. Will is bristled up while Wes sits neutral in his seat. Scarlett’s posture is still in the same position, and it’s clear she’s not going to back down.

“Scarlett, I already tried to talk to you last night. You didn’t want to hear anything from me, remember?” I clutch a nearby bottle of water to control my temper. “I’m here for my sister and if you have a problem with that I’m sorry.”

“You already chewed her ass?” Finn stands to his feet behind placing both of his hands on my shoulder.

“Damn right, I did. I’ve seen you suffer day after day because of her chicken shit ass. No way does she get to come back in here acting all perfect.”  Scarlett now stands nose to nose with Finn off to the side of me.

“You might want to shut your mouth.” He spits back.

Tommie is now sobbing. Will is trying to interject but the arguing duo won’t allow a word in edge wise, and Wes just continues to sip on his coffee. It’s like I’m the star of another nightmare except this one is living out right in front of me.

I try to focus on the elegant Christmas tree in Tommie’s living room while ignoring all the nasty words being exchanged. Tommie’s decorated her tree in white and silver with burlap trimming. It’s so simple yet stunning. I notice the angel she has placed perfectly on top. It was Momma’s and was always on the top of our own tree growing up.

Finn’s voice finally pulls me from my avoiding thoughts. “Scarlett, you stand here judging Tess when not about a month ago I found you fucking Randy. You made me promise not to say a word.”

“You asshole, Finn.” Scarlett begins to rain punches at Finn with all her might.

“Maybe back off of Tessa.” Finn runs his hands through his hair while watching his brother’s reaction. “I’m sorry, man, but she has no right acting this way towards Tessa.”

Wes doesn’t reply, he simply gets up and leaves. The only thing heard from him is the front door slamming. Scarlett yells a few more cuss words at Finn before she chases after Wes. My nightmare just rapidly turned into a dramatic soap opera.

“I’m sorry,” Finn finally announces to the room. “I need to go, Tessa.”

Frantically, I grab for him. “Don’t leave me. Please stay with me. Don’t leave.”

He pulls me into his chest hugging me while I plaster my face to his chest beginning to sob. I don’t want him to leave. I’ve morphed in a jealous monster over him.

I feel Finn lean down placing a kiss on the top of my head while his hands gripped on to my waist.

“Things are beyond crazy. I have to go, Tessa.”

He lets go of me and I watch as he nods to Will, turns around and leaves the house. I run after him just like Scarlett did a few minutes ago after Wes. I reach the front porch just as Finn opens the door to his truck.

“Finn, don’t go to her, please.”

He looks my direction and then gets in his truck. The roaring of his engine causes me to fall to my knees, and my sobs rack me even harder. When I gain my composure, I look up to see an empty driveway and Tommie sitting beside me.

“I’m so sorry, Tommie, I’m so sorry for all this crap.”

Watching Will at Tommie’s doctor appoint is beyond comical. Any second I’m ready for him to take out a notepad to record notes. It truly is a priceless type of cute. Tommie’s doctor just stripped her membrane, which will assist in throwing her into labor within the next twenty-four hours.

They both offered and then practically begged me to get an ultrasound, but I declined. It just didn’t feel right being in the same town as Finn and finally getting one. And I’m actually digging the idea of not knowing the gender of my baby. My phone chirps catching my attention.

Tommie
: Just about five more minutes

Me
: Okay

Tommie
: Hungry?

Me
: Always

Tommie
: Will wants to take us to lunch when we’re done here.

Me
: I’m in like flint

Will and Tommie are still in the doctor’s office finishing up some needed paperwork for Tommie’s admission to the hospital when she goes into labor. I had no clue all this work was done before hand. I opted to come out here and sit in the car. It’s an unusually sunny day in December. Ice and snow still plaster every surface. Will sent me with the keys to warm up the car. Between the sun shining through the window and the warmth from the heater I nearly doze off after Tommie’s texts.

The major problem is every time I do try to nap or fall asleep I see one set of eyes. Those eyes haunt my dreams nightly, make me smile, and control my heart. They’re Finn’s eyes. The eyes I haven’t seen in two days since he stormed out of Tommie’s house, so I keep my eyes forced open while I wait.

I’ve tried calling and texting him to no avail. It’s almost like his phone is turned to silent. I’d never fully admit to it, but I’ve stalked Kara’s Instagram account and her daily pictures are enough poison to kill off a horse. She’s posted several selfies of her and Finn. Pictures of her in his semi-truck with the caption,
“On the road with my man.”

Will told me yesterday that Finn’s out on the road hauling a long haul of fat cattle to Colorado and from the looks of the pictures on her Instagram he isn’t alone. It’s clear Finn’s head is not on straight, and I just need to give him time. Of course, it hurts my heart, but I refuse to get down in the dumps.

Scarlett has kept her distance not even reaching out once to me. I’m at a loss with her and don’t understand the anger radiating from her. I can only chalk it up to everyone’s emotions running on high.

The passenger door opens, and I watch as Will helps Tommie in the car.

“So, everything else is good?” I ask her.

“Yep, the doctor is predicting any day now.”

Will climbs into the driver’s seat. “If I had to predict, I think we’ll be back here tonight.”

“I’m so excited,” I announce. “But I’m freaking starving all in the same moment.”

Tommie laughs at my announcement as Will drives us to a local diner. He ushers us both in as we continue to fantasize about what we are ordering. By the time we are seated, we’ve practically planned on ordering over half the menu and sharing each plate.

“Damn, ladies, I’m going to take out a loan to feed the two of you,” Will jokes after we both place our order.

“Screw off, Will. I need to eat.” Tommie quickly places a kiss on his cheek before she speaks again. “Tessa, we want you in the room with us when I go in to labor.”

“Are you for reals?” I squeal.

“Yes,” they both respond in unison.

Tears rapidly invade. “Oh my dear lord, I’d love to be there. Thank you so much.”

“I swear I’ve never seen you cry and then while being knocked up you cry over everything, Tessa.”

I can’t argue with Will because he’s exactly correct. I can’t seem to keep the tears away or my appetite under control while being pregnant. Crying on a drop of dime sucks, and I’m sick of it.

The waitress interrupts our emotion festival while placing all of our orders on the table. Food covers every single surface, and I don’t even wait for her to turn away before I begin to dig in.

Between bites, I try to talk to Tommie, “Sis, I’m not leaving your side until my niece or nephew comes out. I’m so freaking excited.”

We both gush on about the experience and how giddy we are about it. There’s a bit of fear lingering in the back of my brain. I’m not sure it’s the smartest thing to witness birth and the pain that comes from it so close to delivering myself, but I won’t miss this opportunity for the world.

“Tess, I still need to put up the nativity scene. You can help me and we can last minute Christmas shop.” Tommie pauses a second to take another bite of her hamburger. “I won’t have much time when the little one comes.”

“I’m so excited, Tommie. Christmas will be great this year.”

We continue to eat our meal planning away our next twenty-four hours of decorating, shopping, and watching movies when the waitress comes to ask for dessert. Everyone passes but me. I can’t help but order some cheesecake.

As soon as she leaves the table to fulfill my order I hear a commotion from the other side of the restaurant. Groups of people are gathered around a large table. An enormous bouquet of pink balloons float over the crowd. A few more people walk in carrying large gifts bathed in pink wrapping paper. I’m not quite sure if it’s a little girl’s birthday party or a baby shower. One thing is for sure whoever the celebration is for they have a lot of loved ones who care for them.

Our waitress returns with my dessert and I devour it without even thinking about it. The noise level from the large crowd has consumed the diner. Will and Tommie are both on their phones handling business while I make out with my slice of cheesecake.

The next person who walks through the door leaves me frozen in my spot. It’s like a horrid car wreck that you can’t turn your head from even though you know you should. Kara walks in dressed up beyond fancy with Finn at her side. The large crowd all ahh and coo at their appearance. Just like a well-seasoned actor, Kara plays up all the attention fanning away her fake tears. She goes to grab for Finn, and I watch as he steps away to talk to a group of guys. The crowd begins to look familiar. It’s all of their high school buddies mixed in with older people whom I can only assume are Kara’s family members.

“Well, let’s go.” I break the awkward silence that just overtook our table. “We have an epic day to plan, sister.”

Will and Tommie look shocked at my reaction. I’m trying not only to put on my big girl panties but to wear them with pride. This is a damn near difficult task since I feel like a bloated cow. Not only do I feel like one, but also I know I resemble one. The thoughts of my protruding belly only make me feel yucky when looking at the very slim and put together Kara in her fancy dress and high stilettos.

The first step I take when getting out of the booth, I feel the familiar stinging pain in my foot, and I immediately know my foot is swollen. It makes my limp even more prevalent when trying to walk. Both Tommie and Will shoot me concerned looks at the same time.

“Stop it both of you. I’m fine. Well, I’m not fine. I’m bat shit crazy, but I’ll be fine,” I reassure them.

Will stops at the cashier to pay our bill while Tommie and I make it for the door. I was right when I predicted my limp would be bad.

“Are you okay?” Tommie whispers.

“Yeah, swollen foot. Sucks to be peg-legged and preggers.”

Tommie grins back at me when she’d typically scold me on this type of comment. A couple of her clients spot her and begin to make small talk with her about their pets and her pregnancy. Tommie is very well-known and liked in town, so it’s no big shocker she’s being stopped in a public place like this. She discreetly hands me her keys.

I snag them from her and beeline it straight for the door. As I go to open the door, I hear the old yet familiar sound of evil laughter. When I look over I see the same group of girls who loved doing this to me in the G-Spot. I can only shake my head and move forward.

“Tessa.”

A familiar deep voice calls my name and when I turn I see Finn standing there. All I can do is shake my head at him and keep walking.

“Tessa, don’t leave.”

This time when I look back to him Kara is by his side holding on to him.

“C’mon, it’s time for dinner then
OUR
baby shower.”

The way Kara over enunciates ‘our’ is not lost on me. Without a word, I turn and finish my escape out into the parking lot. Tears, sobs, and screams don’t come this time. My body is in complete shock and has no idea how to even react to the whole situation.

“Tessa, wait.”

Turning I see Finn standing in the middle of the parking lot without a coat. The freezing air surrounds him.

“Finn, stop. Leave me alone. Go back to her.”

“Tessa, it’s not what you think.”

Before I know it I’m standing right in front him and begin to hit his chest with each word I speak.

“It’s exactly what I think. You chose her. You love her.” The tears begin to sting as I finally verbalize my words. “Leave me alone, Finn. I’m leaving as soon as Tommie has her baby. I’ll never ask you for anything. Go be with your fiancée.”

I intentionally drag out the word fiancée in the brattiest voice I can find. Finn begins to speak, but before he can’t get a word out edge wise Will busts between us shoving Finn back. I watch as Finn tries to step back forcing Will to cock back his hand.

“Go, Finn. You’ve done enough damage. Leave.”

He tries to talk a few more times, but Will stops him every time. The three of us walk to the car, but before I climb in I take one last look at Finn. He’s in the same spot watching me walk away.

“Thanks for the goodbye fuck the other night,” I holler to him.