Want to Go Private? (11 page)

Touching myself with Luke watching is so embarrassing, but it’s also kind of … I don’t know … exciting, I guess. The way he looks at me makes me feel incredible, because I can tell that he’s just so, soooo, into me.

I might not be rich, but I definitely feel beautiful when I’m with Luke. No one’s ever told me I’m hot and gorgeous and sexy and all that stuff. Not before him. It’s like he’s Prince Charming on a webcam.

All of a sudden he erupts like a fleshy volcano, and I see his lips move as he groans. I throw on my bathrobe and lean over to type.

I see him reach for some tissues to wipe his hands. He does up his jeans and comes closer to the keyboard and the camera, so he can type more easily and I can see him smiling.

He loves me. He really loves me. He loves me so much he wants to keep me all to himself. I have to make sure I’m really strong when I’m with Billy. No more wavering over his cute smile. Because Luke is my guy.

CHAPTER 10
OCTOBER 14

Faith waves at me, all excited, as I get on the bus the next morning. She looks so disgustingly cheerful I feel like throwing her a punch and going to sit at the back of the bus. But instead I sit down next to her.

“Guess what?” she asks, almost before my butt hits the seat.

“What?”

“Ted asked me out! We’re going to see this independent movie on Saturday. He’s into that kind of thing. Ted says they’re more interesting than the usual bourgeois Hollywood stuff.”

“The what?”

“Bourgeois Hollywood stuff. You know, the typical commercial films they show at the multiplex filled with homages to material goods.”

Huh
?

“What’s wrong with ‘bourgeois films’ all of a sudden? You seemed to really enjoy them not so long ago. Aren’t you the same girl who watched the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy with me seven times, just so she could drool over Orlando Bloom?”

At least Faith hasn’t been
completely
brainwashed by The Amazing Ted. She manages to blush.

“I don’t think there’s anything
wrong
with bourgeois films. In fact, it was really embarrassing — I had to ask Ted what he meant when he started talking about them. I didn’t have a clue!”

“So what are you going to see, exactly?”

“I’m not sure. Some French movie with subtitles.”

“I guess you won’t be making out then. Not if you have to read the subtitles.”

“
Abby
!” Faith punches my arm. “Who says we’re going to make out?” She leans over and whispers in my ear. “Not that I wouldn’t mind, though. Ted is
soooooooo
hot.”

Her breath in my ear makes me shiver slightly, but maybe it’s just because her words remind me of Luke.

“You should memorize the IMDb synopsis before you go, just in case,” I tell her.

“That’s a great idea,” she says. “Why didn’t I think of that?”

“Probably because you aren’t a guy. Billy Fisher is the one who told me
that
trick.”

“So what’s going on with you two? Are you going out again? Billy told Mike Landau, who told Emily Tunick, who told Gracie, that you were giving him the cold shoulder. I thought you liked him.”

Wow. That school grapevine works pretty fast
.

“I
do
like him. I’m just not sure, you know, if I
like
him.” I hesitate for a moment, trying to decide if I should tell Faith about Luke. I mean not
everything
, obviously. He said to keep us a secret. But I feel like he’s too important a part of my life to stay totally hidden. Plus, maybe it’ll get back to Billy through the grapevine and get me off the hook. “And, well … I’m kind of seeing someone else.”

Faith turns to me wide-eyed. “Seriously? You never said anything! Who?”

“You don’t know him. He … goes to another school. He doesn’t live around here.”

“Wow. How did you meet him?”

Oh, snap! Can’t say the Internet. Faith will freak
.

“Um … do you remember the church retreat I went to while you were on vacation with your family this summer? I met him there.”

“But you never said anything about him! How come I’m just hearing about this now? I’m your BFF, remember?”

I
remember.
You’re
the one who doesn’t seem
to
remember.

“Well, because nothing happened at the retreat. But we’ve been e-mailing back and forth since then, and we kind of hit it off.”

“That’s great, Abby!” Faith says. “He must be a nice guy if you met him at a church thing.”

I wonder what Faith would think of Luke if I told her the truth. I’m not sure I want to know. Maybe he’s right about keeping us a secret.

As we’re pulling up at school, Faith drops the bombshell on me.

“Maybe when he comes to visit we can double-date!”

I try to imagine Luke hanging out with me and Ted and Faith at Starbucks or Panera or Urban Pizzeria. Does not compute.

“Yeah, maybe,” I mumble over my shoulder as we get off the bus.

When hell freezes over
.

Ms. Forcier hands back the science tests. When she gets to my desk, she places it facedown, and gives me a questioning look before moving on.

Uh-oh
.

I lift the top edge of the paper and take a peek at my grade. I got a seventy-one — a C-minus — and Ms. Forcier’s written
SEE ME AFTER CLASS
! in big red letters. It’s the lowest grade I’ve earned in science, ever. OMFG. My parents are going to
freak
. No, “freaking” is an understatement. They’re going to lose it to the infinite power.

“How’d it go, Abby?” Billy asks me. “Did our study session pay off?”

Why can’t he just leave me alone right now
?

“Not exactly.”

“Oh, no! That sucks. ’Cause you were totally the best good luck charm ever.”

He shows me his paper, which has a big red A+ at the top.
I hate him. Why does he have
to
flaunt it
?

I force my face into a smile and lie through gritted teeth. “Awesome. Glad I could help.”

He smiles. “Do you want to
help
again this weekend?”

“I … can’t. I’ve got plans this weekend. Family reunion, remember?”

Billy shrinks in such sudden dejection. He looks like a balloon that someone just let the air out of to make a fart sound.

“Oh, yeah. I forgot. Well, maybe the weekend after then.”

“Yeah. Maybe.”

Or maybe not
. I turn back to my lousy C-minus test that I’m embarrassed to let anyone see.

After class, Billy tries to talk to me again, but I tell him I have to speak to Ms. Forcier.

“Later then,” he says, shuffling away awkwardly. I feel kind of bad, but not as bad as I do when Ms. Forcier starts asking me about the test.

“Abby, I’m concerned about this test result. It’s not up to your usual standard of work. Didn’t you study?”

“No, I studied.”

She looks me straight in the eye, as if to see if I’m lying, which I’m not. I
did
study.

Looking over the test, I can’t believe I got so many answers wrong. Answers I totally knew. It’s like I was just … in Lala Land.
Or in LukeWorld
.

“Is there something going on that might be causing problems with your schoolwork? Anything you might want to talk about?”

I look down at the big red C-minus circled on my test paper.

“No. Nothing.”

“Are you sure?”

I messed up one test, okay? Why does she have to act like I’m some Major League Problem Child all of a sudden
?

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

“Okay. Well, let me know if you need any help. You’re one of my brightest students, Abby, and I’d hate to see your grades suffer because you’re not studying for tests.”

As I slink out of the classroom, I think,
I’ve got
to
concentrate
. But all day in school, it’s impossible because the only thing on my mind is getting home to check the mailbox to see if my gift from Luke has arrived.

The box is postmarked
BOSTON, MA
, which seems strange, since Luke’s from New Jersey. But I figure maybe he was visiting family over the weekend or traveling on business or something. I still don’t even know what he does.

I race inside to the kitchen, get a knife, and open the outer box. Then I take it up to my room and shut the door so I can examine my present in private. Even though Lily isn’t home yet, I don’t want to risk her walking in on me and blabbing about this to Mom and Dad.

The phone is awesome. It’s red and has a real texting keyboard. Just like Luke promised, there’s a built-in MP3 player, too. I turn it on, and immediately there are already five text messages, one from the phone company and four from a number I don’t know, but when I go to my inbox, they’re all from Luke.

I find my earbuds and plug them into the phone. Luke’s already made me four playlists, Sweet, Sexy, Hot, and Sensual. I’m not really sure what Sensual is supposed to be about, so I try that one.

I’m slow dancing around the room to this song, which is old and kind of corny, if you want to know the truth — more like something my parents would listen to. But it’s sweet that Luke took the time to make me all these playlists. No one’s ever done that for me before.

It’s only a minute or two before the phone rings.

“Hey, gorgeous. Now I get to speak to you on the top secret Abby line. Just for you and me.”

“It’s such a cool phone, Luke. Thank you
sooooo
much!”

“Just make sure you don’t go showing it to all your friends, okay?”

“I won’t. Even if I wish I could just happen to whip it out in front of Amanda Armitage, just so she’d shut up about her iPhone.”

He laughs.

“Maybe someday I can get you one of those. But in the meantime, this will have to do.”

I love the thought of getting an iPhone someday, but I don’t want Luke to think that I’m all about the presents.

“It’ll more than do. It’s awesome. I love it.”

“So have you listened to any of my playlists yet?”

“I started listening to the Sensual one.”

“Good. Maybe when you’re listening to it you can touch yourself in front of the webcam for me.”

“I … guess.”

“What are you wearing now?”

“Jeans. A shirt.”

“What kind of underwear?”

“A bra. Bikini underpants.”

“You should get a thong.”

“But they go up your butt.”

“Maybe, baby, but they’re really hot. I bet you’d look great in one. Maybe I’ll send you a few. What size are you?”

“Small, I guess.”

“Abby, where’d you get that cell phone?”

Oh, crud!
Lily’s home. How come I didn’t hear her come in the front door? Because I was listening to the music with stupid earbuds in, that’s why.

“Oh, Faith, I’ve got to go, Lily’s home. See you tomorrow.”

“Okay, I’ll IM you later,” Luke says, and hangs up.

“Haven’t you ever heard of
knocking
?” I ask Lily.

“I’ve heard of it. But I didn’t want to damage my knuckles. So. Where’d you get it?”

She’s leaning against the doorjamb, her arms crossed over her chest, and it’s clear she’s not going anywhere till she gets an answer.

“I couldn’t find mine, so Gracie lent me hers.”

“Who’s Gracie? And why would she be stupid enough to do that?”

“She’s a friend of mine and Faith’s and because she’s
nice
, not a selfish brat like you, that’s why.”

“Well, you better not lose it like you lost yours. Dad’s gonna be really pissed when he finds out.”

“I haven’t lost it. It’s probably in my locker or something. I just couldn’t find it when I needed it and Gracie didn’t need hers because her family is going to their cabin in upstate New York for the weekend and they don’t have cell service up there. I’m giving it back to her at school on Monday. Anyway, it’s none of your business, so why don’t you go squeeze that zit that’s erupting on your nose?”

Ha!
I know I’ve faked her out because she immediately touches the end of her nose with her fingertips, a worried expression on her face, and then rushes into the bathroom and slams the door.

That was a really close call. I just hope Lily keeps her mouth shut and doesn’t say anything to Mom and Dad.

I text Luke a quick message apologizing for having to hang up on him, and then hide his cell phone in my backpack next to the phone my parents gave me, which is in its usual place in the front pocket. Like I’d actually lose it.
Sheesh
. It’s incredible how Lily thinks the worst about me, when I’m like twenty times more responsible than she is.

Time to do homework. When I take the books out of my backpack, my C-minus test falls out. I hide it in the back of my closet, where no one will ever find it.

Mom brings home Chinese food for dinner because she’s too tired to cook and Dad’s going to be late, surprise, surprise.

Lily opens her big fat mouth over the sesame noodles.

“Abby lost her cell phone.”

Mom gives me a sharp look.

“Is that true?”

“No, of course it’s not true. I just left it in my locker by accident.”

“Abby was talking on this really fancy phone when I got home from school. She
said
it was her friend Gracie’s,” the Lily Monster says.

“Why were you using someone else’s cell phone?” Mom asks. She sounds really ticked off. If I had killer vision, Lily would be totally dead. She
would
have to bring this up when Mom is tired from work and already grumpy.

“I realized I’d left mine in my locker and Grace said she didn’t
need hers over the weekend so she lent it to me in case I had an emergency. Seriously, what’s the big deal?”