Wanting Reed (Break Me) BOOK 2 (7 page)

I slip into the bathroom and drop my bag onto the floor. Yanking off my
hat, I move to the sink and glare at myself in the mirror.
What the fuck was I expecting?
I drag my one good hand through my hair that’s too fucking long. I look tired; I have black circles under my eyes. I turn on the faucet, bend over the sink and splash cold water onto my face.

I have to do something. I’ve got to push forward. No one should put their life on hold for anyone, especially for an asshole like me. I’m barely breathing right now. What the hell is she doing here with Tyler, and who is that other dude with the redhead?

“Welcome home, asshole.”

Damn. My luck can’t get any shittier these days, can it? I look up into the mirror to see Tyler standing behind me with his hands balled up into fists. His jaw twitches and his fucking eyes are shooting bullets. Shit. Boston is a fucking unfriendly place for me now.

“Hey,” I choke. Moving to grab a paper towel, I turn to face him. I can tell by the vein throbbing in his neck that he’s almost ready to blow. He looks bigger too, but I’m not scared of anyone.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I’m back for classes,” I answer coolly. My intentions were to see Elle, but after seeing them together, I don’t think that’s what Tyler wants to hear from me. I saw how he can throw down, so I don’t want any trouble with him. Not that I can’t handle him, I just wasn’t prepared for this shit right now.

“You’ve got some fucking balls coming back here after what you did to Elle. I should beat the shit out of you, but she’s out there waiting for me, and I don’t want to get arrested for assault and battery and risk her seeing you. Plus, looks like you got into some trouble of your own back in Texas,” he scoffs, nodding at my arm in the cast. “You’re not worth the fucking trouble, anyway.”

“Good idea,” I say as I pick up my bag and put my hat back on, thinking I’ve already beaten myself up over this. I’m pretty much a bloody, messy pulp and could be taken for dead right now by the way I feel inside. My heart has been outlined in white chalk. DOA. “I never meant to hurt her.”

“Fuck the bullshit, man. Just stay away from her. You’ve hurt her enough. I had to pick up the pieces. I
always
do.” He takes a step toward me, and I gladly approach him. I don’t back down to anyone.

“I’ll do whatever she wants, man,” I counter, clenching my fist to my side. “I’ll stay away from her.”

“Good. That’s what she fucking wants,” Tyler growls before he turns and walks out the door.

Luke is parked at the curb outside the terminal, asleep behind the wheel with the radio blaring Maroon 5. I kick him out of the driver’s seat because I missed my Hummer badly. One thing is for sure; he took care of it. It’s spotless and the wax job makes it shine like a diamond. He did put a few miles on it, but I’d rather have that than a few scratches.

Our conversation is light during the ride home. It is mainly one-sided and includes Luke asking me about Texas and the cheerleaders. While weaving in and out of Boston traffic, I don’t have the stomach to talk about what I saw at the airport. I’ll deal with that shit later.

“Dude, do you seriously think she’s actually going to talk to you?” Luke asks, closing the door behind him. I throw my bag onto the floor and sit down on the edge of the couch, raking my hands through my hair in irritation as I stare at the floor. “You fucking left without a trace. Poof! Like David Copperfield and shit,” he says, snapping his fingers. “Just chalk it up to experience and move on. I’m sure another chick will come along and you can rock her world and live happily ever after if you want to.” He walks into the living room and throws his keys onto the coffee table.

I look up and fucking stare at the blank screen of the plasma TV with my pathetic reflection looking back at me and fight the urge to throw the remote at the fucking black hole.
I need to get out of here,
I fume as I lean back against the couch and close my tired eyes. If I had been honest with her, maybe I wouldn’t be sitting here ready to destroy just about everything around me.

“Listen. Come out with me. Let’s hit a couple of bars and maybe see if there are some new co-eds and shit. You can’t stop livin’ over losing some girl.”

Fuck. I lost her. I open my eyes and blankly stare over at Luke, not sure what the fuck I’m looking at because everything seems unfocused, fuzzy and distorted. The only thing that is fucking crystal clear is seeing them together at the airport. I saw them holding hands. She hugged him, and he had his arm around her and kissed her on the cheek. He fucking kissed her! He is doing all the things that I’m supposed to be doing with her. I knew there was a chance she would move on. I prayed that she wouldn’t, but why wouldn’t she? I did exactly what Luke said I did; I disappeared without a trace.

Tyler’s a good guy, but I also knew he had a thing for her from day one. Maybe I should fucking buy a one-way ticket back to Texas, but I know for damn sure I won’t do that. I need to talk to her, even if it’s for the last time. I’m ready for whatever she throws at me. I know I deserve it. I spring up and glance between Luke and the couch, which was the last place my body was touching hers before I took her to my bed. Damn. I definitely can’t stay at home tonight.

“Shit, I’m down. Give me a minute to change and I’ll drive.” I head down the hallway where I had her over my shoulder the last time before I made love to her. Fuck. I close my eyes and clench my fist; I’m livid with these emotions and can feel the hurt and rage bubble to the surface.

“Are you sure about driving? It looks like you can use a few,” he states, placing his hand on my shoulder.

“Yeah,” I answer, even though I fucking require more than a fucking few.

“Move past this shit,” Luke says as he walks into the kitchen and grabs a couple of beers from the fridge. He hands one to me, but I decline. “Just do what comes naturally.” He twists off the cap of his beer and takes a swig. “We can make that happen tonight. It’s easy.”

“I don’t fucking want that, and I won’t go back to that shit anymore.” I know what I need. I know what I want, and I let it slip away like fucking sand through my fingers. “Dude, I’m not taking relationship advice from you. Let me fucking handle this my way, all right?” I turn and walk down the hallway. “I’ll be ready in five.”

“Shit, this girl must have had you wrapped around her little finger.” He utters as he throws himself onto the couch and flicks on the TV.

“More than you fucking know,” I mumble, pushing open the door to my room. I stand in the doorway, remembering the last time she was in here with me. I have to catch my breath, thinking that her body won’t share the same space with me anymore.

The room is exactly how I left it, minus her. The unmade bed is empty, and my damn pillows still have strands of her hair on them. I remember watching her wrap her finger around her silky hair as her beautiful mind was working. I loved the way it felt under my fingers when I stroked it. My old football T-shirt lies neatly on the dresser along with a hair tie that she left behind. Besides me, they are the last things she touched and the only signs that she was in my room with me.

Shit. I drop my bag in front of the dresser and lift the T-shirt to my nose. I smell the faint scent of Elle all over it. Fuck. I feel like throwing out everything she came in contact with and starting over. Just her memory and the thought of her with Tyler fucking kill me. The thought of her with
anyone else
kills me.

I pace across the room like a crazy man.
What the hell is wrong with me?
I know what it is. I love her. It’s plain as day. Picking up my guitar, I take a seat on the edge of the bed, hoping that it will be the remedy for me. Closing my eyes, I strum the guitar and let the melody of the song I wrote for her drown out the dead sensation I feel in my stomach after seeing her in the airport today with someone else. Damn. Fuck. Shit. I throw the guitar onto the bed. I can’t do this. I need to get out. What’s it been? Two minutes, maybe three? I can’t keep Luke waiting. I’ve got some living to do.

I received a call from my new landlord letting me know that I can move into my apartment a week early since all the upgrades and repairs were completed faster than expected. I was a little anxious how things were moving along, but this is what I wanted. If anything, this is a small sign telling me there’s no turning back and I should continue looking ahead.

“So, this is it.”

I turn from packing up a box to see my mom in the doorway. She’s wearing a pair of tan shorts and a fitted white T-shirt with her hair pull backed into a ponytail. I swear she could pass for my sister. A soft smile spreads across her face, but there’s sadness in her eyes.

“Yep,” I reply, swallowing back the tears. “Remember, I’m only one mile away.” My voice shakes and my chest tightens just thinking about leaving the only place I’ve ever known and beginning my own life.

“One mile seems like one million when you consider you’ve spent twenty-two years waking up and sleeping here.” She steps into my room and passes her hand over my empty dresser to stand right next to me. “Not seeing your face every morning is going to be a toughie.”

“This will be good. I can’t keep holding on, and you need to let go.” I wipe my hands on my jeans and hug her tightly.

“You’re right, honey.” She pulls away and smiles, scanning the boxes lined up in a row near the door. “I’ve been preparing myself, but to actually see the moving truck outside and all your things packed up is a tough pill to swallow. Like you said, I have to let go.”

“Well, trust me, Mom. I’ll be home more than you think. I’m not planning to live on take-out and pizza for two semesters.” I say and add a smile.

“Well, I’m glad I’m an excellent cook.” She chuckles, rubbing my arm.

“Hey, how are my two favorite ladies today?” Jace asks as he enters the room in an old T-shirt and blue plaid golf shorts. He surveys my half empty remove before he walks over to us and gives Mom a kiss and me a quick hug.

“Fab,” I reply sarcastically, “if you consider packing and moving on a warm Saturday morning outside fun.” I grimace, wishing I were at the beach on my towel, soaking up the rays and smelling the pure ocean air.

“Man,” he moans, rubbing his face in frustration, “I didn’t know how much shi...stuff… you had,” he says, scanning the room.

I laugh and follow his gaze to the taped-up boxes piled against the wall near the door. I don’t call myself a hoarder, but I do like to keep mementos that hold a special memory to me. I just didn’t realize how bad I was until I saw all the boxes. I wasn’t planning to take everything, but I don’t think I’ll be moving back home either.

“Jace,” Mom warns, lifting her eyebrows.

“Sorry, but I’m going to be the one carrying most of this down. This is gonna be a workout for sure,” he says as he flexes his muscles. “I can’t leave my sister hanging.” He winks at me. “Speaking of hanging, Dad just got here, and he’s ready to help.”

“He’s early,” I answer, glancing at my alarm clock that flashes 8:30 a.m.

“Yeah, I’m glad you asked him to help. We’re gonna need some extra muscle,” he says with a bright smile. There’s more to it than that with Jace. He can’t hide anything from me. Dad has been calling more lately since I told him I was moving out, and there’s been a positive change in Jace now that Dad is making more of an effort to be around.

“Great,” Mom says as she lifts one of the boxes to take downstairs.

“I hope you don’t mind that I came up.”

I swiftly turn to where my dad’s hovering in the hallway outside my door. It’s been almost ten years since he’s been in the house, and it’s the first time we’ve been in the same room together as a family. He clears his throat and steps into the room. His eyes take on a distant look as he smiles. Glancing over at my mom, I notice she immediately preoccupies herself with one of the boxes, attempting to shield her eyes from him. Obviously, she wasn’t prepared to see him.

“There are lots of memories here,” he whispers. He steps toward Jace and rests his hand on his shoulder as Jace looks over and grins. No one can mistake them for father and son. They have the same, thick brown hair, strong chin, inquisitive thoughtful eyes, and six-feet-four athletic frame.