War Torn Love (72 page)

             
I decided that very day on the picnic that we would not try going back to Poland. It much nicer here in France, I was not sure just yet where exactly where we would go to live from here, but I knew that we both needed a fresh start were ever we go. We eventually left the camp, and then migrated our way to Britain on June 24
^th
1946, on my anniversary, and just a year after the end of the war had officially ended.

             
With the assistance of the Red Cross, A simple loving, very giving established Jewish family living in the suburbs of London, took us both in open-heartedly, they just wanted to help out. With this family’s help, we started learning English. They were such a kind family, with two lovely daughters six and ten years old, Nitza loved being able to play like a normal child, it is somewhat foreign to
her. They all quickly became good friend. The two us communally shared a beautiful room, but it was so much larger, much nicer than we possibly needed, and the window not only opened up, but there were no bars, and had a lovely view of the back yard. We could actually come and go as we pleased. Freedom was
absolutely
-
divine
. And I enrolled Nitza in a Jewish school. It had been nice to see her finally getting some normality in her life, she seem a bit happier. Although she hated being separated from me.

             
Meanwhile I got employment during the day in a nearby car factory, while Nitza was in school. I was making a good wage.  I saved up as much of my wage as I could, But on Saturday we took Sabbath, and on Sunday we spent the whole day together, doing something fun. Touring the city, going to the zoo, or the picture show, which was our favorite thing to do, we always got candy.

             
The Jewish family we were staying with did not want anything in return for their kindness; they would not accept any rent when I tried paying. Nevertheless, I bought us each a couple new dresses, and pairs of shoes. A couple of toys for Nitza. After wearing what we were forced to for so long, it was so nice to finally have nice material against my skin, feel like a woman once more. My hair was finally long again, I brushed it and Nitza’s out every night before going to bed. The nights were still quite lonely, I think for me the night was when I got the loneliest.

             
There has been emotional and physical scars left over by the war. We both suffer from nightmares. Such matters that are extremely difficult on me, the things we saw no one should ever have to had to experience. That was
just how much I miss Abiela, and Abram, I end up crying everyday for them, usually when Nitza’s fast asleep.

             
Now that I am dressing properly, my hair had grown back, and I am back to my normal weight. I kept getting men asking me out, I was still young, and possessed some of my prior looks. I am very flattered of course. However, I am always turning them down. I am not prepared to be romantically involved with another man, maybe I never will. I think I have too much baggage.  I am still very much mourning. Abram was my one true love, how could I even think or for that matter try to replace him.  I know Nitza needs a father in her life, but I just cannot resort to doing such a thing, was I being selfish, I am not quite sure. I would feel like I would be betraying my husband somehow. He was my one true love maybe the time I had with him; I had more love than some people experience in a lifetime.

             
By 1949, Nitza was growing transforming like a butterfly into a beautiful girl! When I got news of a Jewish state being set up in the holy lands once more in Palestine of all places, I was quite intrigued by this idea, I was positively delighted. I wanted to be part of this, a part of history. The Germans had tried to exterminate our people. So
finally,
our people would be living in the holy land once more. For the first time in nearly two-thousand years, our people would be living in the Promised Land. This new country was-being called Israel. If only my Poppa would had survived to see this, he surely would have wanted to migrate to Israel himself, he was always talking of the
holy land
. After getting a chance to talk with her, together Nitza
and I had decided we too would
immigrate
to this new country, a place to call home, exclusively for a Jewish population. There had been Jews settling there for the last couple of years, since the end of the war, but now The British and Americans, and the new formed U.N. were backing this idea, and helping. We were-approved to enter the country of Israel January 1950, and were issued our citizenship papers allowing us to travel from England. We had grand plans what we would do once there. We were going to start a small farm.

             
Once we entered our new country, Nitza and I first went and visited all the holy sites, I wanted my daughter to be proud of her heritage, so many of us died for, including her parents. We eventually managed to get a small piece of land just north a town called Mahseya. It was perfect the property, sitting up in elevation just a bit overlooking the surrounding. The government was encouraging settlement throughout the country. We worked so hard to prepare our new piece of land. I had saved up enough money that I was just able to hire a carpenter to build us proper house, though it was plain and on the small side, it was all ours, so to me it was like a castle. Nitza for the first time had her own room; she had to share for much too long. It was nice to, to be getting my own room. The two of us had could had been happier then we were on our piece of property. While Back in England, I had tried my very first lemon, I had loved them so much, and idea had come to me one day; I did all the research on growing lemons and other citrus trees as I could find. We bought and then planted fifty-lemon trees from Cyprus, and half again amount of orange
trees to start off, we planned to add more tree’s as we could afford them. We also put in a large vegetable garden. 

             
We labored and installed fencing to hold in our new livestock. We raised a hand full of lams, and a good milking cow, and two dozen chickens to start. We both worked hard to achieve, and accomplished our goals. At a high price, like for example, until the tree’s were established, they had to be hand watered every day, we did anything we could to bring in an income during this period, and by no means was it easy on us. I think what we had accomplished in just over a year’s time was rather remarkable. I may be currently poor, my hands always are blistered, I was stiff, and always tired, but there was something to say working your own land. I know truly understood my husband’s passion. I had taken on no debt my husband taught me that. I was not about to lose this orchard as well.

             
It had been two-years since Nitza and I had migrated to Israel, it was so wonderful being in the land of our people before us, a feeling I could not quite describe, and do it justice.  Our country was quickly becoming into
its
own.

             
Nitza had for the most part fully recovered, and adapted to her new homeland. She is growing like a weed. She had started attending a Jewish high school, she had been making all kinds of new friends, and she is starting to come out of her shell. She still had nightmares, at least a couple of times a week. We had her bartizan last years and not to mention, she is quite beautiful, she looks just like her mother at the same age, so much so, occasionally I get her
confused, and yes, oh the boys are coming around trying to call on her.  Nevertheless, I am very guarded with her. I am afraid to let her go. I am overprotective, and part of it is I am afraid to be all alone.

             
As far as my own love, interest. I had had no interest in following in love with another man. Yes, it is a very lonely life, which I had chosen for myself; not having a man in my life is difficult. There is so many daily things that I need a man around for.

             
I try making all my wonderful memories of my husband to last me. To counter some of the loneliness I experience, I try to stay very busy around the farm, I never seem to had any free time anyways, when would I had the time, there is always something that needed to be done, and what I had discovered not enough sunlight in the day to accomplish everything.

             
God blessed my tree’s, it was amazing just how many lemons I was going to had this year crop; they smelt so good, the air was filled with their sweet smell, they should fetch us a good profit at market. At least I am hoping, unfortunately for me I was unable to hire any help to assist us to pick all the fruit, at least this first year. I was worried I would not be able to pick it all in time. Then will had to see how this year went, and reevaluate next year. We had been barely been scrapping by, as it was.  Nitza helps out bless her little heart; she helps me before and after school. I never had to ask, she just does it, she would do even more, but I cannot allow that.  But I was doing a majority of the picking of the fruit, I left her during this time to tend to the animals, and the cooking. I would not let
her miss a single day of school, because of the war; she had missed so much; it had been tough on her. I insist she receive a good education. Thankfully, for her, she is a very intelligent girl; I had worked with her as much as I can. I hope she had a chance to go to college. She brings home good grades, but because she was so far behind before she even got started, she was forced to work twice as hard for the grades she received. I help her out every evening.

             
Because the trees were planted on a fairly- steep hillside. The view was amazing, but it made it rather tough to use a ladder to climb up and then pick the fresh fruit at the higher portion of the tree. The fruit that was waiting to be picked, without falling over and hurting myself, which happened a few times already, I had the assorted bruises all over my body to prove it. As I approached one particular tree, it taunted me to climb it; I began climbing the small tree, quite stubborn I was going to pick every single one of the lemons. I stretched out trying to reach the lemons growing on the tiptop of the tree, stretching myself out as far as I could to obtain such a lofty goal. I was not about to let any fruit go to waste, not on my watch. I could not afford to lose a single piece of fruit, and I certainly did not want the birds getting to my sweet lemons.

             
I just so happened to allow myself to get distracted, and so I did not hear the stranger that was coming up on me.
Which startled me, of course, that was not saying much, because I do startle awful easy?

             
The man’s voice suddenly spoke up, attempting to get my attention, “So Mrs. isn’t funny the first time you and I first met, you were up in a tree then as well, you
know the one that was in front of your parent’s house remember, your tree-house. That was a beautiful tree.  Now all these years later, here you are once more, I find you once again up in a tree! We need to stop meeting like this.”

             
My heart had just skipped a beat or two; I had chills run down my spine. I remarkably was afraid to turn around and look at the man now standing behind me, speaking to me. I was afraid whom I would find standing there. I certainly knew who’s voice it sounded like. At least the thought of whom it was belonged to, but there was no way that could be the person I was thinking of! It could not be possible. No, I thought he was dead, he had to be. I had not heard or seen him in nearly eight years. I told myself it was just the afternoon wind, and my mind combining to play tricks on me is all, funny thing I had actually just been thinking about him, then I thought, that was it. I did not know what to do.  What would happen if it were he, what I would do then? Neither of us had seen each other in years. Surely, we had both changed so much, what if we did not love each other anymore. Could we still be in love after all this time? Would he still be attracted to me?

             
Then I heard that familiar voice once more confirming what I was thinking,

             
He then said, “Come on sweetie, I had missed you so much, do not deprive me another moment to be able to casts my eyes on your beauty. I had had to wait so long already, I had dreamed about this moment every day since our last encounter, gone over every detail in my head of what I would do and say.  Though I had never imagined I would catch you up in a tree.  You had to know I had been
searching for you since the end of the war! Once I was well enough, I had never stopped looking for you! I am sorry it had taken so long sweetie; I would had gotten word to you if I can, to at least let you know that I was alive. I had no idea where you were, or at the time if you had survived. I hope it is not too late for us. I hope you did not remarry in my absences, I would understand if you did, but my heart would be broken. You thought I was dead, and I am sure you had gotten lonely; you are a stunningly beautiful woman. Sweetie please turn around for me, I assure you it’s me, I know you’re scared, and confused! If you do, and it’s not too late for us, then I promise that I will spend the rest of my life, making it up to you for all the time that we had missed out on. No one will ever separate us again if you tell me it is not too late.