Waylaid (15 page)

How far would he go? I wasn’t sure I was ready for everything yet, but if he started, I wasn’t sure I would stop him. Being with him had taken on a life of its own. A life I wanted to feel every part of.

I put my hands on his face, drawing his lips back to mine. When I tilted my head, I opened my mouth to his. His tongue slid inside my lips, taking its time in its exploration. Graham’s breath was hot and moist. Just like my mouth felt. Just like my whole body was.

Now I understood how people said it was easy to go all the way with someone you cared so much about. Someone you loved.

I did love him. With my whole self. I was going to explode unless I said the words. But I was scared. What if he didn’t say them back? What if he didn’t really love me like I did him?

Do it Addy. Just say it.

I had to. I’d
die
if I didn’t.

I pulled away and put my hands on his chest.

He lowered his eyebrows. “Something wrong, Addy?”

“I… need to say something.”

He acted uncertain. “All right. Um, did I do anything that you didn’t—”

“No, it’s not that. It’s all good.”
So good…

He let out a sigh. “Honey, if I ever do anything you don’t want, just say the word. I’m not the kind of guy to force myself on you. I hope you know that.”

I touched my finger to his lips. “I know. I trust you, Graham.”

“Is that what you wanted to say? That you trust me?”

“There’s something… else.”

He took my face between his palms. “What? What is it?”

I pushed down the nervousness that quivered in my stomach. I’d never said the words before. What would he say? How would he react?

Listen to your heart, Addy.

“Graham, you know I care for you, right? So much.”

“I know.” He kissed my forehead.

“Well… I…”

“What is it, Addy? You know you can tell me anything.”

I bit my lip and gazed into his eyes. “Graham, I love you.” I held my breath as I waited for him to say something. Do something.

He smiled and pressed his lips lightly to mine. “I love you too.”

I sighed. “You do?”

“I do. No doubt whatsoever. And I’ve never said those words to any other girl before.”

“I’ve never said them before either.”

He pulled me into his arms and laid his cheek on the top of my head. “Guess we just entered new territory, huh?”

“Yeah. You all right with that?”

His warm breath blew across my hair when he chuckled. “Very. You?”

“More than I can say.”

Graham

Addy is leaving
me tomorrow. I can’t believe it.
How had a girl I’d only known a few weeks grabbed my heart and taken it captive?
Guess that means she’s the one for me
. Not guessing, though. I was sure. Thinking about the other girls I’d dated, I couldn’t even imagine having those feelings for any of them. It was as if my whole life had been leading up this point. The time when I would meet my other half.

I glanced down at the occupant of the passenger seat of my truck. Wonder what she would name him? The large teddy bear sat there with big brown eyes and a pink bow around his neck. Would she like him? Think it was a sappy gift? Time to find out.

The thump when I closed my truck door echoed off the house. As I walked up Addy’s drive, a warmth from down deep inside my heart stirred and I looked up. There she was, watching me. Had I felt her gaze? Known somehow she was there? I forced a pleasant expression, though my heart wanted to break. After tonight, who knew when I would see her again?

Addy stepped out onto the porch, her smile faltering, then broadening again. I knew tonight would be hard for her, because it was nearly killing me.

I walked up the steps and took her hand, giving it a light squeeze. “Ready to roll?”

She nodded, gave one peek over her shoulder to her house and then followed me to the truck.

We had a routine, she and I. I’d go to her house, help her into the truck, then we would drive somewhere to be alone. My whole life was tied up in this girl. And very soon, in just a few hours, I’d have to say good-bye. How I was supposed to do that, I didn’t know.

Addy stood on her tiptoes in the grass and peered through the truck window. “What’s that, Graham?”

“Somebody I want you to meet.”

She raised her eyebrows and opened the door. “Oh… how sweet! For me?”

I moved the bear and helped her climb in, then placed the bear on her lap. “Nah, I got it for your brothers, but since they’re not here, maybe you could babysit for a while.”

“Don’t you mean bear-sit?”

I lifted one side of my mouth in an awkward smile. My throat felt tight, like I couldn’t breathe.
Just a little time left with you, Addy
… I hurried around to the driver’s side and climbed in, glad to have my seatbelt and keys to fiddle with, so Addy wouldn’t see how hard this all was for me.

I prayed for darkness so my facial expressions wouldn’t be so obvious. Just a little longer now and the sun would be down. By then, we’d be at our special place.

She touched my arm. “Thank you, Graham. This is so sweet of you.”

I angled around to watch her. I couldn’t help it. She was like a magnet for my eyes, my body, my heart. I gave a shrug, hoping I could pull off a casual attitude. “You’re welcome. Didn’t want you to be at school by… by yourself.”

She blinked several times. Was she trying not to cry? “Silly man, I’ll have my roommate, Amber, remember?”

I drove the truck down the street and turned the corner, the actions so familiar now as if I’d been visiting Love Road my whole life. “True, but I’m thinking Amber might not sleep with you in your bed.”
Wish I could though…

“Probably not. And since I won’t have Romeo to sleep with, I’ll have him.” She pressed her face into the bear’s fur. Everything in me wished she was doing that to my face, my neck, my chest.

“What will you name him?”

She focused her big brown eyes on me, eyes so like the bear’s. “Oh, I get to do that?”

“Sure. If you leave to up to me, he might be called cow, or something.”

“Well no. That’s not gonna happen.”

I laughed. “Poor city girl has developed a pathological fear of bovines.”

She smacked my arm. “Stop already. I can’t help it if they creep me out when they stare at me.”

“Back to your bed-mate here. What’s his name?”

“Hmmm.” She ran her finger over his face. “Since he’s a gift from you, I’ll call him G.”

“G? That’s a really short name.”

“Okay, then. What’s your middle name? You never told me.”

I shrugged.

“Oh come on, you know my whole name. Yours can’t be as bad. So what is it?”

“You might never want to be seen with me when you hear it.”

“I’m made of stronger stuff than that. Spill it.”

“You asked for it.” I raised my eyebrows. “Ready?”

“Yes! What is your middle name?”

“Alan.”

Addy frowned. “What’s wrong with Alan?”

“Think of my initials…”

“G-A-S. Oh!” A huge snort erupted from her lips and she smacked her hand over her mouth. “Uh, sorry.”

I laughed too. “I’m used to it now. At least it’s not as embarrassing to have those initials as a guy as it might be for a girl.”

She nodded. “I see your point. Hmm, so I’ll call the bear, GA.”

“Gah? You’re naming my present
gah
?”

“I won’t say it like that. I’ll say, G…A…”

“No, that won’t work.”

“Why not?”

“Cause you might slip and say,
Gah!
And the poor bear will feel like a fool.”

Addy gazed down at the bear. “Hey there, what do you want me to call you?” She leaned her head so her ear was next to the bear’s mouth. “What’s that? Really? All right, if you’re sure.”

I angled a wary glance toward Addy and the bear. “Well? What did he say?”

“Fuzzy.”

I shook my head. “Not much better than Gah.”

“It’s his choice. The name sticks.”

“Poor unfortunate beast.” I reached over like I’d meant to take Addy’s hand and grabbed the bear’s paw instead.

Addy tilted her head and looked down. “Uh, Graham, something you want to tell me?”

“Hmmm?” I bit the inside of my cheek so I wouldn’t lose it.

“You and Fuzzy are holding… uh hands, paws, whatever.”

With a loud gasp, I let go of the bear’s paw as if I’d been burned. “Oh, my mistake!”

Addy’s snort was so loud, I think people five miles away were startled. “You are a nut!”

“Thank you very kindly.” Making jokes had always been my defense in tough situations. If I kept making Addy laugh, would this evening be any less painful? Somehow I didn’t think so.

Just as total darkness fell, we reached our spot on Love Road. The little dirt path tucked just inside a curve in the road was a good place to be alone. It was out in the country, so there weren’t any street lights and hardly anyone ever drove it at night. Only a handful of houses dotted the whole road which was several miles long.

I turned off the ignition, suddenly unsure of what to say.

“Graham, thank you again for the bear. I’ll treasure him.”

I swallowed, my throat dry. “You’re… welcome. Think he would mind sitting behind the seat for a while?”

She shook her head and tucked the bear behind my seat. When she turned back, her eyes glistened. “This is so hard… tonight.”

“Yep.”

“I can’t believe how fast the time has gone.”

“I know.” I reached for her hand and rubbed my thumb over her soft skin. “Are you nervous? For tomorrow?” I had to talk about something or I’d go crazy with the silence.

“Yeah, a little, but also…”

“What?”
That you’re going to miss me?

“I’m excited too.”

Excited?
“Oh.”

“I can’t wait to meet Amber.”

And all the guys on campus?
“I’m sure she’s nice.”

“She seems to be.”

“Is that all you’re excited about?”

She sighed. “I can’t wait to see my room and start my classes.”

I ran my thumb over her wrist and felt the rapid pounding of her pulse. She really was excited. But how could that be? She was
leaving
me. “I hope you’re very… happy there.” I cleared my throat. Why was I having so much trouble just getting air into my lungs?

Addy let go of my hand and undid her seat belt and then mine. “I won’t be completely happy.”

I wrapped her in my arms. “You won’t?”
Say it… please.

“How could I? When I won’t be with you?”

Don’t go… stay with me.
“That’s sweet of you to say.”

“It’s the truth, Graham. You don’t know how torn I am. I want this, to go to school, be on my own. But…”

“What?” I brushed her hair over her shoulder, trying to memorize how soft the dark strands were, how they felt between my fingers.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and tugged me close. “I don’t want to leave you. It’s breaking my heart.”

“Then don’t…” The words had escaped. Words I’d never meant for her to hear.

“Don’t… what? Don’t go? I have to.”

I nuzzled my face in her hair, just as she’d done to the bear. “You don’t have to Addy. You have a choice.”

She pulled away, a frown marring her perfect features. “You don’t understand, Graham. This is my dream.”

“But you are mine, Addy.”

“You’re mine, too. Don’t you know that?”

“You can’t have everything. It doesn’t work that way.”

“What are you saying?” A single tear traveled a course straight for her chin. “Are you… are you breaking up with—”

“
No.
Oh, honey, no.” I pulled her close again. “I just meant that… once you leave here, leave me, nothing will be the same.”

She sighed and tucked her head under my chin, running her fingers across my chest. “I know. It’s confusing.”

I nodded. “Sure is.”

“I wish you were going with me.”

I chuckled. “And just what would I do all day when you were in class? Hang out with Fuzzy the bear?”

“You could always take classes too.”

“I told you, I tried it once and it didn’t stick.”

“Maybe if there was something you wanted to do. Last time you said you only went to play ball. Maybe if there were some classes you—”

“
No,
Addy.” I placed a finger over her lips. “Let’s not waste tonight talking about tomorrow. It will be here sooner than we think. Can we just enjoy tonight? Make some sweet memories?”

She lowered her gaze to where her hands pressed against my chest and nodded. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry about. I just don’t want us to argue.”

“We weren’t arguing.”

“And let’s keep it that way. I know you’re pretty tough, Addy, but I think I could take you in a fight.”

That did it. She giggled. “Pretty sure of yourself, huh?”

“I have my moments.” I lifted her chin with my fingers and pressed my lips to hers, begging my mind to capture every second of tonight so I would have it to replay in my thoughts later on.

I was struck with an urgency I’d never felt before. The way Addy’s hands grasped the front of my shirt made me think she felt it too. I knew I’d see her again. Hopefully soon. But somehow, I couldn’t convince myself of that. It was as if I had to touch her, taste her, because it would be the very last time.

I undid the first few buttons of her blouse and then pulled her close and slid my hands under her shirt over her bare back. “Your skin is so soft.” I kissed her shoulder and nibbled on her collarbone. I let my hands wander down between us and cupped her breast through her shirt. The warmth from her skin, even through her clothes, nearly did me in.

“Fuzzy is giving me lessons on how to be soft and cuddly.”

“Is that so?” I walked my fingers down her stomach.

“He has a dark secret though.”

“What’s that?”

“He really wants to try on my clothes. Especially my bra.” She let out a sigh. “I’m afraid to tell him that it won’t fit him, though. He’s not my size.”

I eyed the bear and then her chest. “Uh, no. He’s not. But that works. I ain’t planning on doing
this
to him.” I lowered my head and kissed the skin right above the lace on her bra.

She gasped.

I studied her face, making sure she was okay with what I was doing. She blinked and touched my cheek. “Graham, I love you so much.”

“I love you too, sweetheart.” I pulled her close again and kissed her, tilting my head a little and playing my tongue against hers. The heat coming from her mouth drove me wild.

“How am I going to… leave you?”

“Oh, Addy. I know…”

I pulled her onto my lap and stroked her back, making slow, lazy circles across her damp skin. “We’ll just have to figure out some way to… stay together.”

She wrapped her arms around my middle and pressed the side of her face to my chest. “Of course… of course we’ll stay together. Do you doubt that we will?”

I swallowed hard. Wasn’t this the question that had been eating at me? The one that I’d been avoiding? The thought had been hovering around me, but I’d just kept shoving it away, not wanting to even go there.