Wayside School Gets a Little Stranger (6 page)

“Are our parents all liars?”

“Is it all just a trick

To make us be good

For fear of St. Nick?”

“Tell us the truth;

Don’t try to fake it.

Is there a Santa?

Let us know; we can take it.”

g

Mrs. Jewls cleared her throat,

Then she cleared it again.

She put down her pencil.

She picked up her pen.

“Hey, look!” shouted Leslie.

“Look there! Who’s that?

Someone is coming in

Through the goozack!”

g

Sure enough, the door opened.

It had to open quite wide!

As a strange-looking stranger

Stepped sideways inside.

He wore a red suit

And had a white, fluffy beard.

And even for Wayside

He looked pretty weird!

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His fat belly shook

Like a bowl full of Jell-O.

There was no doubt about it.

They knew that fellow!

It was Louis, the yard teacher.

“What are you doing in that stupid suit, Louis?” asked Sharie. “Aren’t you hot?”

“Why are you wearing a fake beard?” asked Todd.

“Is that a pillow under your jacket?” asked Jason.

Kathy was delighted. “See!” she said. “That proves there’s no Santa Claus! If there was, Louis wouldn’t have to dress up like a fool and pretend to be him.”

“I’m not Louis,” said Louis. “I’m Santa Claus. Ho! Ho—”

“You’re lying to us, Louis,” said John. “Everyone is always lying to us. Kathy’s right. Christmas is nothing but a dirty, stinking lie!”

“I was just trying to bring a little holiday cheer,” said Louis.

“Go home, Jerome,” said Terrence.

“Now, that’s no way to talk to Louis,” said Mrs. Jewls. “Louis is one of Santa’s special helpers.”

“Really, Louis?” asked Deedee.

Louis looked at Mrs. Jewls. “That’s right,” he said.

The children were all very impressed.

“Have you ever met him?” demanded Kathy.

“Well, no, not exactly,” Louis admitted.

“See!” said Kathy. “It’s just another lie.”

“You don’t have to meet Santa to be one of his special helpers,” said Mrs. Jewls.

“Then how do you know what he wants you to do?” asked John.

“That’s easy,” said Mrs. Jewls. “You just have to be nice to other people. Whenever you give someone a present or sing a holiday song, you’re helping Santa Claus. To me, that’s what Christmas is all about. Helping Santa Claus!”

“Can I be one of his helpers?” asked Dameon.

“You bet,” said Mrs. Jewls.

“Hey, everybody,” shouted Dameon. “I’m one of Santa’s helpers!”

“Me too,” said Allison.

“There must be a Santa Claus!” cheered Stephen. “Because it feels so good to help him.”

g

So the children all helped Santa,

In every way they could,

By singing songs and giving gifts

And just by being good.

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“But there is no Santa Claus!”

Kathy continued to yelp.

“Well, if that’s the case,” said Mrs. Jewls.

“He must really need our help.”

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Chapter 9

Something Different about Mrs. Jewls

The children returned from Christmas vacation. On each desk were two knitting needles and a hunk of yarn.

“Today we are going to learn how to knit,” said Mrs. Jewls.

She showed the class how it was done. “See, you stick this needle through here, then wrap this around this like this, stick this through this, pull this like this, and then you stick this here. Any questions?”

Everyone stared at her.

“Good,” said Mrs. Jewls. “I want everybody to make socks. Okay, get started.”

Dameon looked at his knitting needles. He didn’t have a clue.

He looked back at Mrs. Jewls. Now, more than ever, he was sure she was somehow
different
.

She was sitting at her desk, knitting and eating Baloneos. Dameon couldn’t remember Mrs. Jewls ever eating a Baloneo before.

A Baloneo was an Oreo cookie, except instead of the white part, there was a round hunk of baloney.

Miss Mush invented them.

“Hey, Mac,” whispered Dameon. “Does Mrs. Jewls seem different to you?”

“She’s fat,” said Mac.

“That’s not a nice thing to say,” said Dameon.

“I didn’t say it to Mrs. Jewls,” said Mac. “I didn’t go, ‘Hey, Mrs. Jewls. You’re fat!’ ”

Mrs. Jewls cleared her throat as she stood up. She walked around the room. “Very nice, D.J.,” she said. “You’re doing fine, Rondi.”

She stopped at Joe’s desk.

“Oh, Joe!” she gushed. “Look, everybody, I want you to see Joe’s sock!” She held it up. “Isn’t it the most beautiful sock you ever saw?”

It was a great sock. Everybody oohed and aahed.

Joe was as surprised as anyone. He didn’t know he knew how to make socks. But the boy was born to knit.

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Mrs. Jewls started to cry. “I love this sock,” she sobbed.

“Uh-oh,” said Kathy. “I think she’s finally flipped out!”

“I love you, Kathy,” said Mrs. Jewls. She looked around the room. “I love all of you.”

She put her hand on Kathy’s desk. “I love this desk,” she said. “I love the blackboard. I love the clock on the wall.”

There was a ruler on the floor.

Mrs. Jewls picked it up. “I love this ruler,” she declared.

“Hey, that’s mine!” said Dana. “But, uh, that’s okay, Mrs. Jewls. You can have it.”

“I don’t want your ruler, Dana,” said Mrs. Jewls, handing it to her.

“You want my pair of scissors?” offered Sharie.

“Don’t give her anything sharp!” warned Kathy.

Mrs. Jewls wiped away her tears and smiled at the class. “I’m going to miss all of you very much,” she said.

“Are you going away?” asked Dameon.

“Yeah, to the loony bin,” whispered Kathy.

“Are you sick?” asked Eric Ovens.

“No, I’m not sick,” said Mrs. Jewls. “In fact, I’m better than I’ve ever been.” She beamed. “I’m going to have a baby!”

Everyone gasped.

Dameon couldn’t believe it! He was so happy he jumped out of his seat and hugged Mrs. Jewls.

She was soon surrounded by all her students, even Kathy, wanting to hug her.

“Today is my last day here,” Mrs. Jewls told her students. “My doctor doesn’t want me walking up and down thirty flights of stairs every day. I wasn’t even supposed to come today, but I just had to say good-bye.”

“I thought you were getting fat,” said Mac. “But I didn’t want to say anything.”

“Thank you, Mac,” said Mrs. Jewls. “You are very considerate.”

“Can I touch your stomach?” asked Stephen.

Mrs. Jewls laughed. “Sure,” she said.

The children took turns touching her stomach.

“What are you going to name your baby?” asked Allison.

“I don’t know yet,” said Mrs. Jewls. “What do you think?”

“Well, if she’s a girl,” said Allison, “I think you should name her Rainbow Sunshine.”

“That’s a nice name,” said Mrs. Jewls. “And if he’s a boy?”

“Bucket Head,” said Allison. She didn’t like boys.

“If he’s a boy, you should name him Jet Rocket!” said Joe.

“Jet Rocket Jewls,” mused Mrs. Jewls. “That has a nice ring to it. And what if she’s a girl?”

“Cootie Face,” said Joe.

Mrs. Jewls laughed. “So let me get this straight,” she said. “If he’s a boy, I’ll name him Bucket Head.”

“Right,” said Allison and Rondi.

“And if she’s a girl, I’ll name her Cootie Face.”

“Right,” said Joe and John.

Dameon laughed. He knew Mrs. Jewls was only joking. At least he hoped she was.

Terrence placed his palm flat against Mrs. Jewls’s stomach. “Hey,” he exclaimed. “The dude kicked me!”

Suddenly Dameon felt very sad. He was going to miss her a lot! He wiped a tear from his eye. “It’s unfair!” he shouted. “We finally come back to Wayside School after being gone for so long. And now you’re leaving us!”

“I have to,” said Mrs. Jewls.

“I know,” whined Dameon. “You have to make sure that you and your baby are healthy. But it still isn’t fair!”

“I think you’ll like your substitute teacher,” said Mrs. Jewls. “I spoke to him over the vacation. He seems like a very nice man.”

“A man?” asked Dameon. “Cool!”

They all thought it was pretty neat to have a man teacher.

“Yes,” said Mrs. Jewls. “His name is Mr. Gorf.”