Weight Loss for People Who Feel Too Much (22 page)

Make sure you move
every
day. If you're not feeling well or you're tired, just do a few minutes' worth of movement to nurture yourself and your body. If you find it exhausting to even think about exercise, don't feel guilty. Read the next section, because you may have an underlying adrenal problem that's zapping your strength. Pushing yourself when you have adrenal fatigue will make it worse.

WHEN YOUR ADRENALS NEED A VACATION

Perimenopausal and menopausal women, and people who have experienced excessive emotional or physical stress, are especially prone to
adrenal overload,
also known as
adrenal fatigue
. This condition makes you utterly exhausted, causes a slew of system imbalances, and may lead to even more serious problems. I highly recommend Dr. Marcelle Pick's book
Are You Tired and Wired?
for learning more about this increasingly common condition. For people who feel too much, who reach for sugar and caffeine as stimulants, and who experience chronic stress from empathy overload, adrenal fatigue is a serious concern.

The two adrenal glands—little organs that are about two inches across and sit atop your kidneys—have a main job and a secondary job. Their main job is to release hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline, which set off a series of biological events that give you energy when you are in danger and need great strength and speed to “fight” or “flee” (this is called the
fight-or-flight response
). The adrenals' secondary job is to create and secrete other hormones when the glands that normally have that responsibility aren't working, for some reason. For example, as a woman enters perimenopause, or as a man becomes older, the glands producing the sex hormones start to shut down, and the adrenal glands have to step in to keep the hormones balanced.

If the adrenals are working overtime handling stress responses, it's harder for them to keep up with their second job, filling in as a sex-hormone generator. Being good workers, they push themselves harder, creating and releasing more hormones. Over time, with no respite from chronic stress, they become so strained from being overworked that they start to shut down. They can't produce sufficient amounts of the hormones your body needs and the result is adrenal fatigue. You feel tired, and yet wired at times, too, because your adrenals rally here and there, then poop out (“Go team!
Zzzzzzzz
.”).

You start to depend on sugar, caffeine, and other stimulants to keep yourself awake and alert, which unfortunately, strains the adrenals even more. You are supposed to be resting to give your adrenals a vacation, but you can't, so you knock back a few cups of coffee and munch on a donut so you can keep going full speed ahead. Your hair may be thinning, you're getting fog-brained and forgetful, and headaches are plaguing you. Your sleep cycle is disrupted by insomnia and the inability to fall asleep or wake up clear headed, and the sleep deprivation lowers your metabolism and makes it harder to lose weight. Meanwhile, all these physiological responses cause you to feel depressed, angry, and anxious, and these emotions signal to your body to keep going with its attempts to battle the stress. It's a vicious cycle.

Underlying all these symptoms are imbalances in your body caused by overworked adrenals that are either in a state of fatigue or overactive and about to burn out. For example, adrenals are responsible for preventing blood sugar fluctuations, which cause fierce cravings for sugar, dips in energy, and eventually, diabetes. Adrenals also play a major role in a healthy immune system, and when they're overtaxed, you experience more infections, including yeast overgrowth in your gut and in the warm, moist areas of your body.

Additionally, your adrenals are responsible for making sure you maintain the right balance of fluids in your cells and your blood. When your fluids are imbalanced, you retain water, crave salt, and ache because of swollen joints or tissues. When you're experiencing all that, you're hardly ready to bounce out of bed and start your day. You move less, your metabolism slows in order to ensure that you're holding on to plenty of energy to fuel yourself, your fat cells store that energy, and you gain weight.

Fluid imbalance is also called
inflammation,
which is the precursor to a host of diseases and conditions from heart disease to autoimmune disorders. Heart disease is the number one killer of American women, and 70 to 90 percent of people with certain common autoimmune disorders are female. Women who feel too much, who put enormous energy into taking care of others at the expense of their own health and well-being, are at high risk for adrenal fatigue, inflammation, and autoimmune disorders such as fibromyalgia, diabetes, arthritis, lupus, sarcoidosis, and pulmonary fibrosis.

In an autoimmune disorder, the body doesn't recognize its own cells and it treats them like the enemy. It's interesting that our “angry,” inflamed tissues are associated with an internal battle against the very cells we are supposed to love and nurture because they are a part of us. So here we are, worried about our weight, feeling guilty and angry with ourselves, beating ourselves up for not losing the extra pounds, pushing ourselves to exercise and cut calories, and perhaps exacerbating an underlying problem of adrenal fatigue. Cease fire! We have to use a loving, healing, compassionate approach to bringing the body back into balance, reset our metabolism, restore balance and peace of mind, and return to a healthy weight.

If you suspect you have adrenal fatigue, don't push yourself to exercise because then you can become even more wiped out. Clean up your diet; consult a medical health professional and a nutritionist to be sure you're supporting your adrenals through diet and supplements, and maybe even medication; and reduce your stress. This program will help, but don't underestimate just how much of a toll chronic stress takes on you. Taking care of yourself and managing your emotions are very difficult when you're tired and wired.

CONNECTING TO YOUR EMOTIONS AND THOUGHTS

Emotions and thoughts are very closely related, especially for people who feel too much. You can talk yourself into or out of a bad mood, for instance. It can help a lot to use cognitive therapy techniques to pick apart your thoughts and see whether they are distorted in a negative way. “I'm never going to get all my work done!” or “I'm always hungry!” may describe how you feel in the moment, but those statements aren't literally true. If you say them often enough, you'll believe them, so catch yourself when you're thinking in terms of all or nothing, “never” and “always,” or when you're minimizing any evidence that you're doing well and maximizing any evidence that you're a total screwup. Catch yourself thinking negative, distorted thoughts and replace them with healthier, more supportive thoughts.

Once again, being neutral and nonreactive keeps you from being completely overcome by strong emotions. You can say to yourself,
Of course, I'm not always hungry, but I am now because I lost track of time and should have had lunch a couple of hours ago
. That sort of logical thought process can prevent you from feeding your fears, lessen your negative self-talk, and clue you in to what you need to do: plan your meals a little better and have some healthy snacks on hand so you don't ruin lunch by wolfing down a candy bar at two o'clock in the afternoon.

Thoughts and emotions drive each other. If an emotion is very strong and distressing, use the IN-Vizion Process and let your intuitive right brain show you in symbols what you are experiencing emotionally. Once you sit in the observer's chair and become neutral and nonreactive, what to do next becomes much clearer. Then your overactive mind won't jump on the horse to the land of endless, anxious inner chatter.

Negative self-talk leads to negative moods that are artificial. Are you aware of the constant chatter inside your head? What is its quality? As you work with affirmations and the EFT each day when taking your salt bath, you'll start to replace that constant babble about how awful you are with internal thoughts that support you and make you feel good. I also recommend that you use affirmations in other situations. Peggy McColl, author of
Your Destiny Switch,
suggests that every time you do something habitual, like get into your car to start it, or stand at the sink to brush your teeth, you say affirmations and believe them wholeheartedly. It's easy to think,
Yeah, I should do that
but never get around to it. Find ways to create the habit of speaking to yourself in ways that are inspiring and energizing.

CONNECTING TO THE LARGER WORLD THROUGH MEDIA

Now that you've had a break from the media and social media for several weeks, you can also start to see how that has been affecting you. If you looked back at a newspaper from two months ago and read the headlines—and I encourage you to do this!—I'll bet you'll see that, had you not been aware of the daily news, it wouldn't make one bit of difference in your life today. Most of the news we're exposed to is designed to stimulate us into staying tuned to the media outlet through the advertisements, so that we buy, buy, buy. You hear a horrible crime story that happened thousands of miles away from you, remain riveted and in a state of shock and fear, and you sit through the commercial about a gooey, yummy brownie mix (“Lower in fat! Indulge yourself! You deserve it!”). You find yourself putting on your coat to run to the store. Marketing that hooks you in with a response of fear or anger is very effective for the company that is selling you something, but it's not good for your emotional state.

Rather than going back to the old habit of devouring the daily news, think about what news you really need to stay informed and be a responsible citizen in your community and on your planet. Chances are that the news you really need doesn't trigger emotional overload for you. Listen, it might be kind of boring, but oftentimes, boring is good for you. It's tempting to tune into 24-hour news channels and absorb all the live reporting on a tragedy or a drama, but it's too stimulating for people who feel too much and it doesn't make you better informed, anyway. Recently, there was a tragedy in the news and the emergency call to the police from the victim was released to the media. I knew this was the last thing I needed to hear. My heart had broken for the poor soul already. I didn't need to take in the intense anguish that I'm sure could be heard on the recording!

To balance all the negativity you hear, take in news that is uplifting, inspiring, reassuring, or energizing. Check out scientific and health breakthroughs—they're usually something to cheer about, or at the least, intriguing without being overstimulating and making you anxious or upset. Read about the positive changes that are happening in your community or around the world. If you went by the national and international news coverage only, you would swear that the only thing that ever happens in Africa is that people die from violence or starvation, even though many Africans are living very happy, productive, peaceful lives. Yes, we need to know about problems, but we also need to know about solutions. Think about ways you can limit your exposure to the negative stories and increase your awareness of all that's positive in the world. Subscribe to “good news only” news services, if you can.
The Huffington Post
now has a “Good News” section. You can also subscribe to the
Good News Network, Happy News,
and
Good Press News,
for example.

Also, if you can, read your news rather than watch it in video form or looking at photographs. Generally speaking, images are much more likely to trigger fear, anxiety, despair, and anger than are words, especially if moving images are involved. It's hard to pull your eyes away from the screen when you're watching horror unfold before you. Visual images speak to our hidden fears and our emotional center so quickly that our thinking brains are a step behind what's happening. But when you read about a tragedy, your emotions are tempered somewhat, and you can easily look away and make a conscious decision whether or not to continue reading. While there are people who are so distanced from their emotions that they need to see images of violence and suffering to have their empathy aroused, that's not your problem as a person who feels too much. You may not be able to handle images of graphic violence. That said, I have consciously chosen to watch People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) videos on the abuse of animals in factory farms, and that triggered action on my part, so I'm glad I saw them. I've watched footage of animal cruelty because I didn't want to keep my head in the sand; I needed to educate myself on where my food came from and how the animals we eat are treated. I know it will help me stay committed to cruelty-free eating. You have to decide for yourself about whether you want to watch these disturbing images to get some benefit from the experience. Be mindful of how these images affect you, prepare yourself for the viewing, and be gentle to yourself afterward. Whatever you decide, don't become overwhelmed and start thinking that there's nothing you can do to help people and animals to avoid or to heal from trauma. Use your disgust, horror, and anger to fuel positive actions.

CONNECTING TO OTHER PEOPLE

Now that you're aware of the danger involved in soaking up every emotion in the room when you are around other people, you can remain neutral and nonreactive when you are at social gatherings, in crowds, or with people who are upset. You can visualize a slippery blue bubble around yourself and can cut any cords tying these people to you energetically. It should be easier to avoid isolation or its complementary behavior, enmeshment.