We'll Meet Again (21 page)

‘Oh, my God,’ she said out loud, startling the horses so that they stamped and whinnied, rolling their eyes. ‘I’ve got to find Gerald before he runs into Rayner.’

She ran through the snowstorm that had now transformed the ugliness of the ruined gardens into a fairy-tale landscape. She burst into the kitchen kicking snow off her boots all over Marie’s newly scrubbed floor. ‘Where’s Gerald?’

Marie looked up in surprised as she was about to empty a bucket of filthy water into the sink. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘Never mind that now. I’ve got to find Gerald. It’s urgent.’

‘He went that way just a minute ago.’ Marie nodded her head towards the doorway. Without stopping to take off her outer garments, Meg ran through the kitchen and along the passage that led to the entrance hall. She could hear voices as she turned the corner and she skidded to a halt in front of Major Jaeger and Rayner. Gerald was standing stiffly to attention outside the morning room.

‘Is the house on fire, Miss Colivet?’ Major Jaeger asked with barely a trace of humour.

‘No, I – no.’

‘You are just in time to meet Captain Weiss, the replacement for Captain Grulich. He will take over the captain’s duties and you will report to him.
Captain Weiss, may I introduce Miss Colivet and her brother, David.’

Meg held her breath waiting for him to say something, but Rayner inclined his head towards Gerald and to herself with a convincing lack of interest before following Major Jaeger into the drawing room. Breathing a sigh of relief, she leaned against the wall for support as her knees threatened to give way beneath her.

‘What’s the matter with you?’ Gerald demanded anxiously. ‘You look terrible.’

‘My God, that was a close one.’

‘I don’t understand.’

‘Come into the morning room. We can’t talk out here.’ She waited until he closed the door. ‘Grulich’s replacement,’ she said urgently. ‘I know him. He’s an old friend of David’s.’

‘Bloody hell.’ Gerald sank down on the nearest chair. ‘What do we do now?’

‘Nothing at all. If Rayner had been going to give the game away he’d have done it when he met you. I’ve got to get him alone and explain things.’

‘I must make an effort to get to the mainland, Meg. I’m endangering all your lives by staying here.’

‘You’d never make it, and if you were caught then we would be in even worse trouble. No, leave it to me. Let me do it my way.’

The snowfall had been unusually heavy but by evening the thaw had set in and the glistening white
covering that purified the landscape was corrupting into black slush.

Meg fretted all day as she waited for a chance to speak to Rayner alone. After the family had gone to bed she lingered in the comparative warmth of the morning parlour, standing by the door which she had left ajar. It had taken hours for the miserable fire of damp twigs and green logs to take the chill off the room, but now it was time to go upstairs to the icy bedrooms the room was tantalisingly cosy. She could hear the sounds of merriment as Hauptmann Dressler and his officers finished their brandy and cigars. The faint hint of fragrant Havana seeped into the hall and there was the occasional burst of laughter as if someone had just told a joke. Meg stiffened as the door opened and some of the more junior officers strolled out, chatting, laughing and looking relaxed as they made their way up the staircase towards their quarters on the second floor. She was afraid that Rayner might leave at the same time as Major Jaeger, but after a few minutes he emerged and to her intense relief he was alone. He stood in the hallway, looking about him. Opening the door wider, she beckoned.

Casually, he strolled across the hall to join her, closing the door behind him. ‘Hello, Meg.’

‘Is that all you can say? You’re here as part of the occupying force and all you can say is hello, Meg?’

He eyed her warily, his smile fading. ‘I was posted here. For me there was no choice.’

‘You must have realised that this was my family’s home.’

‘Yes, of course, although I didn’t expect to find you here. I thought you would have been sent to your aunt’s house in Oxford.’

The logic of this was undeniable, but still she was not satisfied. ‘You could have refused to be billeted here.’

‘I obey orders, Meg. But you’re right; I could have asked to be sent elsewhere.’

‘Then why didn’t you?’ Her voice broke on a sob and she turned away, unable to meet his earnest gaze. ‘Stop looking at me like that.’

‘There is nothing I can tell you that would make this easier for either of us. Perhaps I thought I could make a terrible situation a bit better by being here. I knew that your father was an important man on the island, and I hoped I might make things a little easier for him.’ He reached out to take her hand in his. ‘I am sorry we had to meet like this, Meg. Truly sorry.’

In the face of such heartfelt sincerity she felt herself weakening, but she snatched her hand away. ‘Whichever way you look at it, you’ve come here as the enemy. Don’t expect me to treat you as anything else.’

‘If I was your enemy I would have informed Major Jaeger that the man who claims to be David is an impostor.’ He moved to the fireplace, and leaning his arm against the mantelpiece he kicked at the dying
embers of the fire so that they burst into a feeble show of sparks and small flames.

Meg allowed herself to relax just a little. ‘I’m grateful for that.’

‘Who is this person who makes you risk so much?’

‘He is Gerald LeFevre. His father and mother have worked for my family for years. He was supposed to return to his regiment but his father had a heart attack and died. Then it was too late for him to escape from the island.’

‘He should have given himself up. He would have been treated as a prisoner of war. Don’t you realise what danger he’s put you all in by staying here?’

She shrugged her shoulders. ‘What’s done is done. I’m begging you, as David’s friend, to say nothing.’

‘He would be furious if he knew that you were risking your life in this way.’

‘David would think as I do.’

‘I know that he would want his family to be safe.’

She met his gaze with a defiant toss of her head. He looked strange and alien in the severe German uniform, so unlike her golden memories of their first meeting that it hurt her to look at him. ‘You call this safe? Prisoners in our own home, subjected daily to humiliation and harsh treatment.’

He frowned. ‘How have you been treated badly? Major Jaeger is a good officer and he told me that your family have been treated well.’

‘Major Jaeger put Grulich in charge of us.’ She dropped her gaze. To say anything else might make
him suspicious and there was no way of knowing how far she could trust him.

He was silent for a moment and Meg could feel his gaze upon her but she would not raise her head. She stared down at her hands clasped tightly in front of her.

‘We are not all like that,’ he said softly. ‘No one knows the connection between us. You can trust me, Meg.’

She wanted desperately to believe him, but she knew that she must be strong. If she allowed herself once again to fall under his spell, all would be lost. One slip, one careless word and the whole family would be in terrible danger. She raised her chin to look him in the eyes. ‘I don’t know you. You’re not the man I knew in Oxford. Whatever you say you’re part of the German war machine and that means we can never be friends.’ She left the room without giving him a chance to respond.

Meg kept Rayner’s identity a secret from the rest of the family, but under his command there were subtle improvements in their daily lives. Corporal Klein relaxed the stringent rules regarding the times that the family were allowed to use the kitchen, and occasionally Marie found small amounts of extra rations in the larder. The back-breaking duties that Grulich had imposed as punishments were a thing of the past, and if Captain Weiss found any of his fellow officers tormenting Pip, they were severely
reprimanded. Despite all this, Meg avoided Rayner. She was too resentful of his uniform to be grateful for the small but important privileges they were allowed, and too afraid of her own emotions to let down her guard. She could not bear to admit, even to herself, that the old attraction was simmering beneath the surface like a monster preparing to pounce and devour her heart and soul. She avoided Rayner as much as was humanly possible.

Christmas was only a few days away and the snow had melted leaving the island under a pall of grey cloud and fine drizzle. It was Meg’s turn to go to market and she rode her bicycle into town. She chained it to the railings of the town church and made certain that the padlock was secure, well aware that left unattended it would be stolen as soon as she was out of sight. She joined the dismal people queuing in the rain for their rations and finally, chilled and tired, she made her way up the High Street to the Pantry, where she hoped that she might meet Pearl, as it was the day she usually accompanied her father to the library.

Meg felt a degree of relief when she saw Pearl sitting at a table near the window. She looked thinner, and pale without makeup, which was now unobtainable except on the black market, but her face lit up when she saw Meg.

‘Meg, darling. Lovely to see you. Happy Christmas.’

‘Happy Christmas, Pearl. But I’m afraid it’s not going to be much of a festive season.’

‘Don’t. I can’t bear to think of all those parties with lashings of food and drink. It’s too depressing.’

A waitress appeared at the table and Meg ordered coffee and a bun. ‘How are your parents?’

‘All right, I suppose. Daddy has a terrible cough and Mummy gets a bit depressed now and then. She sleeps rather a lot these days. I wish my so-and-so appendix had waited until we’d been evacuated to England. It’s so quiet and lonely at home that I sometimes think I’ll go mad.’

‘I’ve got a few dozen Germans you can have,’ Meg said, grinning. ‘They’d liven things up for you.’

Pearl shuddered theatrically. ‘I don’t know how you can joke about it. I’d die of fright with all those jackboots trampling round the place. Unlike some, who actually seem to like their company.’

Meg turned her head to follow Pearl’s gaze, and was dismayed to see that Simone had just walked in accompanied by Captain Brandt. Although she wore a new winter coat, her condition was immediately obvious.

‘See what I mean?’

Meg stared aghast at the heavily pregnant Simone. What would Marie and Gerald say when they found out? A cold shiver shot down her spine. The looks of disgust on the faces of the locals were indicative of the general view of girls who fraternised with the enemy. They were known as Jerrybags and publicly
shunned. It had not occurred to Meg until now, but this would be the path she would be forced to tread if she allowed herself to fall in love with Rayner for a second time. She caught Simone’s eye and smiled, but Simone ignored her and made her way to a vacant table. She sat down, glaring around the room as if daring anyone to approach her.

Meg sat without listening to Pearl’s chatter, interjecting the right noises here and there, but every now and then she found herself casting covert glances at Simone and Dieter. They did not look as though they were enjoying themselves. Simone’s restless fingers toyed with the cutlery on the gingham tablecloth. Dieter was speaking to her but she remained impassive, saying nothing. Just as the waitress appeared with their order, Simone pushed back her chair, struggled to her feet and stormed out of the café.

Dieter made no attempt to follow her. He remained seated, stirring his ersatz coffee and staring into space.

Meg threw some coins onto the table and gathered up her scarf and gloves. ‘I’ve got to go, Pearl. Sorry.’

‘Don’t waste your time on that slut, Meg,’ Pearl said, shaking her head. ‘She’s not worth it.’

Outside the café, Meg was just in time to see Simone hurrying off towards the town church. Running, Meg caught up with her. ‘Simone, are you all right?’

‘Don’t ask bloody silly questions. Do I look all right?’

‘I can see you’re pregnant, if that’s what you mean.’

‘I’m not a tart.’ Simone quickened her pace.

‘For God’s sake stop and talk to me.’ Meg dragged her into the doorway of a shop that had used to sell luxury goods but was now closed and shuttered. Cold sleety rain had begun to fall from a cast-iron sky. Although it was only three o’clock in the afternoon darkness was already engulfing the island.

‘You want to lecture me, I suppose. Well you can keep your opinions to yourself, Meg Colivet.’

‘I don’t care what you’ve done or what happens to you, but I do care about your mother and your brother, and if you’re in trouble they’ll want to help.’

‘I don’t need them, and I don’t want anyone poking their noses into my business.’

‘Is Dieter going to stand by you and the baby?’

‘He’s being posted to France.’ Simone spat on the
pavement. ‘They know how to look after their own, the German bastards.’

‘What about your job at the hospital?’

‘They sacked me two weeks ago.’

‘So how are you managing? Where are you living?’

‘I’ve been staying with a friend, but she wants me out as soon as I’ve found somewhere else.’

‘Right, that settles it. Get the bus to St Martin’s and come straight to the house. If the guard on the gate challenges you, just tell him you’re Marie’s daughter and you’re visiting.’

‘Why would I want to do that? Why lay myself open to a lecture from Mum?’

‘You can’t avoid her forever, and you might find that she’s more open-minded than you think. You can stay with us, Simone. At least you’ll have a roof over your head and you’ll be safe from the self-righteous busybodies in town.’

Simone hesitated as if weighing up the odds against her. ‘I haven’t much choice, have I?’ she said slowly.

‘Not really. Look, if you hurry you’ll catch the bus. If you miss it you’ll have to wait a couple of hours or walk all the way. Suit yourself.’

Simone’s shoulders hunched and she stared down at the ground. ‘All right, you win.’ She set off towards the bus station.

Meg went to collect her bicycle and pedalled home as if the devil were on her heels. She arrived
at the house just as Simone was stepping off the bus. The guard on the gate accepted Meg’s explanation for Simone’s visit with a curt nod of his head, and waved them in. As they made their way towards the servants’ entrance a sudden downpour drenched them both. Rainwater dripped off their clothes onto the flagstone floor as they entered the scullery.