Well Rocked (7 page)

In fact, the only time we stopped running around was when, late at night, Dex and I would lock ourselves up in our hotel room for some privacy. We’d long since stopped bothering to get separate rooms.

The night after the first show in Munich we all went out to say goodbye to Liss. When we boarded a plane to Copenhagen, she’d be heading in the opposite direction, back to the States to get ready to start school in the fall.

It was a bittersweet night. Everyone was on their best behavior. Rick came for one drink and then left, thankfully. Even Ryan stopped by for a toast before going off to do whatever he did during downtime.

But the rest of the gang, of my strange little road family stayed together. Patrick, the new social media person Ryan hired, took what felt like hundreds of pictures and videos of us. We got drunker and louder and more loving by the hour until the owner of the bar had to ask us to leave.

Laughing amiably, we piled into cars and went back to the hotel, ending up in one room, ordering room service and keeping the party going until the sun came up. I was happy. Really happy, though it was sad to lose my closest friend in the group. Liss had become a confidant. We were very different, but in similar situations, and sometimes felt like outsiders, but we always had each other. Once she was gone I’d be the only girl on the tour. When I hugged her goodnight, it was really goodbye, and I shed a few tears. She punched me in the arm and reminded me it wasn’t forever. We’d call and email, and when the band went back to the US, we’d see each other frequently.

I was still feeling a little sad when Dex and I fell into bed.

“You okay, love?”

“Yeah. It just feels like…I don’t know. Like something is ending for real.”

“You mean Liss? Don’t worry. She can’t stay away long. When we get back she’ll visit. And then before you know it we’ll be out on tour again. Joe won’t go too many days without his girl.” He kissed my shoulder. “And I finally understand why. I don’t know what I’d do without seeing your face every day.”

I smiled. “Yeah, yeah. You’re so smooth.”

He winked and pulled me close. “Go to sleep. Nothing will be different in the morning. The world keeps turning and you’re my girl.”

That was a lovely thought to drift off to as rays of morning sun peaked through the closed drapes.

But Dex was wrong. Everything was different in the morning.

Chapter Seven

Sleeping in was a rare pleasure for me. While the guys could party all night and then roll out of bed early the next afternoon, I usually had too much to do to get away with that. Besides, my brain has a nasty habit of waking me up with thoughts of tasks to complete and lists to build.

But this morning I managed to stay wrapped in Dex’s arms, sleeping away until my cell phone rang, waking me. I untangled myself from his grasp and grabbed the phone where it sat charging by the bed.

“Hello…”

“Is this Rebecca Hall?” a soft, British-accented voice asked.

“Yes, this is Becca.”

“Ah, yes. So sorry. Becca, I don’t know if you recall meeting me. I’m Karen, Dexter’s aunt.”

I shook my head a few times to clear it, and blinked. “Karen, of course. Hi. Um…are you looking for Dex? I can give you his number.”

“No, dear. I’m calling to speak with you.” Her voice was very serious. I looked at Dex, but he was still fast asleep. Climbing out of bed, I crept into the bathroom.

“Is something wrong?”

“I’m rather afraid so. This isn’t the kind of thing to share over the phone, but I wanted him to know as soon as possible.”

My heart sank, and I knew what she was going to say before she spoke again.

“Allen passed away last night. It was peaceful and painless. I was there with him. Dexter should know that. His father wasn’t alone.” Her voice cracked.

“Karen, I’m so sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you, dear. Listen, I’m telling you because I know you’re close with my nephew. I could see it when you were here at the hospital visiting. He’s going to need you now. Allen wasn’t a perfect man, and he was a rubbish father. I know that. But he loved my sister and he loved his son as best he was able.”

“Of course he did,” I whispered, heart breaking for Dex. “I’m glad you called me. I’ll tell him, and have him contact you, okay?”

“Yes. There are arrangements to make, of course. I can handle most of it, but he should be involved.”

“Yeah. And I can help too.”

“There’s one more thing, dear.”

“Yes?”

“A reporter came to the hospital a couple of days ago asking questions. Wanted to know if they had the right Allen Winters. So now that he’s gone, I expect they’ll find out soon.”

“Yes, you’re probably right. Look, if someone bothers you, just have them call the band’s press team. You don’t have to say anything. You’ve got enough to handle right now.”

“Thank you, dear.”

“Anytime. Hold on, let me get you the number.” I scrolled through to find it and rattled it off to her. “If there’s anything else you need, feel free to call me. I’m going to wake Dex up now.”

“All right.”

I thought for a moment. “Karen, you know, I have an idea. You’re Dex’s family. I think he should hear this from you. Stay on the phone and I’ll get him. Then I’m still here to help him cope, but the news should come from you.”

“What a good idea. You’re a very thoughtful young woman.” Her words almost made me smile. Karen was middle-age at the oldest, but talked to me like she was a hundred years older than me. It was oddly sweet.

I walked back into the bedroom. Dex was still sleeping, now on his back with an arm flung across my side of the bed. I sat down next to him and held his hand. “Honey, wake up.”

He grunted a few times and rolled away from me. I spoke again, this time squeezing his fingers. That worked. He turned his head back to face me and blinked a few times.

“Becca? What’s going on? It can’t be time for the show yet.”

“Not yet. But I’ve got an important call for you. I need you to get up.”

The corner of one of his lips quirked up. “I can get up for you anytime.” He reached out a hand to touch me, but then his eyes widened as he looked at my face. “Something’s wrong.”

I nodded and he sat up, back against the pillows and headboard. “Tell me.”

I handed the phone over and stood up, giving him a tiny bit of space.

“Hello?”

I could track the words his aunt must be saying by the expression on his face. First confusion, then shock, then…something I couldn’t recognize.

“Yes, thank you,” he said before handing the phone back to me.

“Karen?” I asked, but there was no sound.

“She’s gone,” Dex said. “And so is he. One from the phone the other from the world.” His voice was flat, his face now impassive.

“Dex, honey. I’m so sorry.” I put the phone down and reached out to him. “Do you want to talk?”

He stared at me for a long moment. “Right now I want to take a piss.”

“I-uh-okay.” I stood there silently as he rose and went into the bathroom. I thought maybe he wanted some time alone, but he came back quickly.

“Since I’m up, do you want to get some breakfast?”

“Dex…”

“What?”

“I…your father died last night. You just want to go eat breakfast?”

“Will not eating breakfast bring him back to life?”

“No, of course not. That isn’t what I meant.”

He sighed, rubbing his head. “I know. Becca, stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like I’m some kind of rabid wild animal you best be wary of. I’m fine.”

“How can you be fine?”

“I just am. I’m not you. I don’t have all this unresolved shit about my father. I said goodbye to him when we visited. That was enough. I didn’t expect to ever see him again, and now I know I never will. End of the story.”

“I don’t believe you really feel that way.”

His jaw tightened. “Don’t tell me how I feel.”

“I’m not!” I paled. “I’m sorry; I don’t know what the right thing to say is.”

Dex walked over to me and put his hands on my shoulders. “You don’t need to say anything. In fact, maybe we shouldn’t talk at all. If you want to make me feel better, there are other ways.” His hands slipped over my shoulders and down my back.

I stepped out of the embrace. “Dex, I don’t think this is the right time for sex.”

His voice went low and sensual. “It is always the right time for sex.” He looked down my body in a way that made me want to cover myself, even though I was in pajamas.

“Stop it, please.”

“Why? Don’t play the blushing virgin with me. That ship has sailed, as they say.”

“Dex,” I gasped.

“Come on. Don’t you want me?” He sidled closer again, this time tucking a thumb under my chin to make me look into his face.

“That’s not the issue. I just think we should talk. Or maybe I should leave you alone.”

“Bullshit, Becca.”

“What?”

His other hand grabbed my wrist. “You asked what to do to help me and I told you. But if you’re going to go back to being a prude, you can just go ahead and fuck off.”

I blinked back tears, the pain where he squeezed my wrist nothing in comparison to the pain in my heart. I yanked away from his grasp and fumbled over to grab some clothes. “I-I’ll just give you some time.”

“Whatever,” he drawled before going back into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

“Well,” I said to the empty room. “That went well.”

I changed quickly, grabbed my phone, and headed out. I wouldn’t let myself think about the things Dex had said to me. It was grief, and him trying to avoid whatever feelings were churning up inside him.

I walked down the hall and knocked on Ryan’s door. He answered, phone in hand.

“Rebecca, what is it?”

“Sorry to both you, but I just got the news. Dex’s father died.”

“Oh. That’s terrible. How is he doing?”

I shrugged. “Denial right now, I think. I would have let him tell you, but I assume we need as much lead time as possible to cancel tonight’s show. I don’t know when the service will be yet, but he’s going to need a while to recover and also deal with logistics.”

“Let me stop you right there. I know whatever relationship you have with Dex is close. But I’ve known him for years. He’s not going to want to cancel. Being on stage will help him get through this.”

“I-Ryan, I don’t mean to be rude, but he needs to take some time to deal with this.”

“That isn’t your decision to make, is it?”

“No. Of course not. I’m just trying to do the right thing for him.”

He snorted. “You mean the thing you want him to do.”

“No.” Tears stung my eyes again. “Look, whatever Dex decides, I’ll support. I just thought you should know.”

“Yes, fine. Thanks for informing me.”

“Sure. But listen, if-”

I never got a chance to finish that thought before he shut the door in my face.

“Zero for two,” I muttered, heading back to our room.

But when I went inside, it was empty. The bathroom, too, and I saw Dex’s shoes were gone from the floor where he’d kicked them off. Since Ryan’s room was in the opposite direction from the elevators, it would have been easy for Dex to leave while I was down there.

Unsure what to do, I pulled our suitcases out of the closet. Whether he decided to go back to Bristol or on to Copenhagen, we’d be flying out the next day, and I might as well get some things ready.

I packed up the room, took a shower and got dressed, and had two cups of coffee, and Dex still hadn’t returned. I sent him a text message and decided to get to work instead of sitting around worrying.

By the time I had to get over to the club, I’d spent a lot of time doing not much of anything, and felt worse than before. I had no idea where Dex was, or if he’d even turn up for the show.

I managed to grab Matthew and we shared a cab over to the venue so we could talk privately.

“I assume you heard the news,” I said.

“Yeah. It’s sad.”

“Right. Well, have you talked to Dex today? He’s not returning my calls or messages.”

He shook his head. “Mine either.”

“I’m worried. Are you?”

Matthew shrugged. “Not sure.”

“Okay.” This might have been our longest conversation to date, but he wasn’t being helpful at all. “I’m going to keep calling him. You let me know if you hear anything?”

“Sure.”

I sighed and turned to look out the window. When we arrived at the club we went inside together and then split up. Matthew waited for the rest of the band by the stage, and I scampered over to check in with Ryan.

* * *

A while later sound check had come and gone without Dex, and no one I asked had heard from him at all. I was starting to freak out. Ryan was pissed and the club’s manager livid, but I was just worried. Dex was out there somewhere, alone, in a city where he didn’t know anybody, thinking and feeling who knows what. I wanted to be able to help him, hold him. Get through this together. But I couldn’t do that if I couldn’t find him.

I left the venue for a few minutes, heading down the street to a little coffee shop we’d found the day before. I ordered a drink and waited for it to be prepared, turning my attention to the television. Because most of the patrons were going to the show, it was showing the English news channel. And a story about Dex’s father’s death.

“My god,” I whispered. Now the whole world would know, and poor Dex hadn’t had a moment to deal with it. The story speculated whether or not the tour would end, if this loss would ruin the band’s trajectory. Like any of that mattered. I was fuming and sipping my coffee when my phone rang. I looked at the number and was disappointed to see it was Ryan.

“Hello?”

“Get back here, Rebecca. Your boyfriend has finally arrived.”

I almost yelled with relief. “Be there in a minute.”

I ran back to the club, barely giving the door guy time to check my all-access pass. At full speed I went to the dressing rooms and found the whole band surrounded a prone form on the floor. Dex.

“What happened?” A million terrible possibilities flashed through my mind.

Rick grunted. “Nothing. He’s just drunk off his ass.”