Well Rocked (4 page)

I snapped a series of pictures and handed the phones back to their respective owners, only half listening to the conversation Dex was having with them. It was bitchy of me to be irritated, but I couldn’t help it. Fans or not, they were invading my time with Dex, and I hated that. Plus I knew he’d never be rude to them and we might end up standing on the sidewalk all day.

A tall, skinny guy with sandy hair was asking Dex questions so fast I could barely understand him. “We saw on the news that you guys were in Paris, but we never thought we’d actually see you. Is the rest of the band here?”

“No, just me and Becca.”

“Oh, cool. Do you know where the other guys are? Don’t you all chill together all the time?”

Dex chuckled. “We spend plenty of time together. I assume they’re off seeing the city or sleeping off last night, depending on the man.”

“Ha, yeah, I bet. You guys sure know how to party. Say, we’re heading over to this bar we found yesterday. Do you wanna come along?”

My eyes widened. “Isn’t it a little early for bars?”

The guy laughed. “Not here. They drink all day. It’s cool. Plus we can all get served.”

“Well that’s something to celebrate for sure,” Dex said. “Why not.”

I glared at him briefly. “Dex, can I talk to you alone for a second?”

He nodded and came over to me. But before I could remind him that we were supposed to be spending the day together, and that I’d be working and with Liss the next day, I saw the rest of the group hear the news that Dex was going to hang out with them. Excitement was an understatement. I thought a few of them would overcome gravity they bounced so hard with happiness.

With a sigh I looked at Dex. “Never mind.”

He held my chin in one hand. “It’ll just be a few drinks, love. They told me they tried to get tickets to the show but couldn’t. An hour of my time is the least I can do for them.”

“I know.”

“Hey, I know this isn’t the romantic day you wanted. But we’ve got all night, right?”

“Of course.”

“You’re not cross?”

I shook my head. And it was true. I was disappointed more than anything. And annoyed with myself for being so selfish. Without the fans there would have been no European tour and no job for me. I owed them just as much as the band did.

That thought struck me hard, and I made a decision. “Look, why don’t you go with them. Have fun. I’ll go back to the hotel and get a little work done. That way we can have more time together later.”

“You sure? I want you to come along.”

“Nah, it’s fine. Be your charming self. I’ll be waiting for you.”

“If you promise to be waiting naked I’ll tell these guys to bugger off in five minutes.”

I laughed and slapped his arm. “Go be a rock star.”

Chapter Four

It was close to midnight before I saw Dex again, back at the hotel. He’d sent a text a few hours earlier, so I knew he was fine, just having too much fun and too many drinks to leave. Instead of having dinner with me and going to see the Eiffel Tower, he went on whatever the French version of a bar crawl is with a bunch of strangers.

Sitting in my room alone, I’d sworn I wouldn’t yell at him. After all, his unpredictable nature and love of partying was part of what I liked about him, right? Hadn’t I just been relishing the way he dragged out of my comfort zone?

As the hours wore on I couldn’t figure out if I was being unreasonable or not. To me it seemed rude and dismissive for him to bail like that. But I had told him to go have fun. And if I really wanted to spend time with him I could have called and asked him to come back, or offered to meet him somewhere. Hating the lack of clarity, I just stewed for a while. I only left my room to go down to the restaurant for a quick dinner. It was full of gorgeous couples mocking me with their happiness. What the hell was up with Paris, anyway, I wondered. Did they only allow beautiful people to move into the city and breed?

In full grump mode, I went back upstairs. I spent a little time working – returning emails and checking logistics for the Paris shows and travel arrangements for the rest of the tour. Normally, going down my list, rechecking and confirming would make me feel better. This time it just annoyed me more.

So, by the time Dex knocked on my door, I was a mass of irritation. I let him in and was immediately enveloped in a tight hug. He stank like cigarettes and booze, reminding me of my father.

When I was little he’d get home late and always come in to kiss me goodnight. Sometimes it soothed me, the scent of his lifestyle wafting through the air when he opened my bedroom door, lingering on my pillow when he bent to kiss my forehead. But as I got older than smell came to represent everything I was missing. My dad was a visitor in my life at best, even though I lived with him.

And now, after hours of waiting for Dex, I couldn’t get that thought out of my mind, that I was falling for a man just like my father. Was this my future with him? Sitting at home, waiting for him to come back and kiss me goodnight?

“God, I’ve missed you,” he said into my hair.

I pulled out of the hug and went back to sit on the bed. “How was your night?”

“Lovely. Don’t let the fancy fool you. This city is full of real drinkers.” He sauntered over and threw himself down on the bed next to me, stretching out. “Are we sleeping in here tonight?”

I answered through gritted teeth. “I am.”

“Where you go, I go, love.”

It took every ounce of control I had not to scoff at that, considering how we’d spent our respective evenings.

“Look, I’m tired. I just want to get some rest. I’ve got a lot to do tomorrow before I go shopping with Liss.”

He shrugged and rolled over to face me. “That’s all right. But if you just want to sleep, do you mind if I go out for a while? I’m a bit restless tonight.”

“Sure, fine. I guess I’ll see you in the morning.”

Dex sat up. He looked at me for a while with his head cocked to the side. “Yeah, okay. How about a goodnight kiss?”

“Of course.” I was annoyed with him, but that didn’t keep me from wanting him. As our lips met I considered changing my mind. Convincing him to stay with me in bed, make him forget about partying or anything except how hot we were together.

But as the taste of liquor transferred from his mouth to mine, it smothered the rising heat inside me. I broke off the kiss and said goodbye.

Dex got up and headed for the door. He turned back. “You okay, love?”

“Yes. Just tired.”

His eyes narrowed for a moment, but then he shrugged again and turned away.

I sat on the bed by myself for a long time after the door slammed behind him, wondering how one day could change how I felt so much.

* * *

The next afternoon I was at another café. This one was noticeably less fancy than the one I’d visited with Dex, but I didn’t mind. Liss and I were sitting outside the tiny place that I imagined was quite a popular dive bar at night. She was having a glass of red wine to steady her nerves, and I was sipping a coffee.

“How wild is this, Becca?”

I smiled. “What, the two of us having a drink a block away from the
Moulin Rouge
, or you getting ready to get your first tattoo?”

Her face paled. “Both, I guess. I’m trying not to think about the torture. I mean – the tattoo.”

I laughed. “It really isn’t that bad. It doesn’t feel good or anything, but it’s survivable.”

“Well I hope so. Joe would be pretty pissed if I died getting some ink without even telling him.”

“Why are you keeping it a secret? Planning to get his name across your ass?”

She sputtered, choking on a sip of wine. “No. To be honest, I wasn’t going to tell anyone, in case I chickened out. But when I called they told me I had to have a consultation first, which made me feel better. And then after I checked it out yesterday, I was feeling a bit braver. But I still might run away. I figured you wouldn’t tell on me.”

“Of course not. Though, if I were you I’d be more worried about getting inked up at a place named after a cartoon character.”

She grinned. “That is not helping. But seriously, were you scared when you got yours?”

I rubbed my shoulder over the t-shirt that covered my ink. “Not really. Everyone I knew growing up had lots of them, though. Even the wusses. So I figured I could take it.”

Liss giggled. “I clearly brought the right person. If Joe was with me I don’t know what he’d do. Either tease me mercilessly or punch the guy if I looked like I was in pain. Either way, I’m glad he’s not here.”

“Me too. And even though this isn’t exactly the shopping trip I was hoping for, it’s great to spend some time away from the boys.”

She sighed and slouched down in her seat. “I hear that. Don’t tell, but part of the reason I’m on this trip is to get it out of my system. I figured a couple of weeks trapped with the whole gang would leave me dying to start school at the end of next month.”

I nodded.

“Shit,” she continued. “You almost got fired. Probably not the time to make jokes about getting away from all of this.”

“It’s okay. It was hard, but at least I don’t have to lie anymore about Dex and me.”

Something in my voice must have clued her in that things weren’t exactly perfect. She leaned over and put her hand over mine. “Are you okay?”

“Sure.”

“Come on. Even terrified as I am, I can see something’s wrong. Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really. I mean, yeah, I’d love your opinion. But I’m worried I’ll seem like a bitch.”

“We haven’t known each other very long, but I
know
you’re not a bitch. It’s something about Dex? Just tell me.”

I crossed my arms and looked down at the table. “Yeah.”

“Did you have a fight?”

“Not exactly.” I went on to explain everything that had happened yesterday. Talking about it made me even more annoyed.

“Uh-huh, that’s a tough one,” Liss said once I was finished. “Neither one of you really did anything wrong, but I can see why you’re upset with him.”

“It isn’t like I expect him to spend every free second with me. But…I don’t know. I guess it just reminded me that things aren’t as perfect as they seemed.”

She smiled. “Now that I completely understand. It’s easy to get carried away in the fairytale of this. The sexy rocker and the regular girl. But this is real. They’re real people, not fictional princes. If you forget that, you’re bound to be disappointed, if not crushed.”

“Hm, yeah. You’re right. And I’m not naïve. I know he cares for me. But there’s a darkness in him. Damage I can relate to, but don’t really understand. He hides it well, and sometimes I forget.”

“Dex is a good guy.”

“Of course. I know that. He’s amazing. But, I just worry. It’s only been a few days since he went to see his dad, and he’s pretending it never happened. I know he must be thinking about it, but he doesn’t say a word.”

“Did you ask him?”

“No. I don’t want to push. And there’s been enough drama lately.”

“Now that is an understatement. Did you see our faces all over the television?”

“Ugh, yes. Don’t remind me. I’m just glad no one caught the scene I made.”

Liss smiled and finished her glass of wine. “Dex said you really laid into him.”

“I did. I was…really upset.”

“I can imagine. Hey, speaking of upset. What the hell is up with Mia? Do you know why she narced on you?”

“I have no idea. She always seemed a little distant, but I didn’t expect her to do that.”

“Me either. I haven’t seen her since we got to the hotel, have you?”

“No. Which is a good thing. I don’t want to get fired all over again for going crazy on Ryan’s niece.”

“Ha. I’d like to see that. I don’t know where she gets off anyway. She barely does any work.”

“Don’t remind me. I’ve got to find someone else to work on the blog. She hasn’t posted anything in days.”

“No need, I guess. Every move is getting tons of coverage from the gossip sites.”

I groaned. “Even worse. How are you so chill about that?”

She shrugged. “I don’t read them. Sometimes my best friend Kelly forwards me stuff she thinks is funny, but otherwise I ignore it. Oh, except for one time. A blog identified me as Joe’s cousin and speculated that I was mooching off of him, complete with fake photos of cars and shit he supposedly bought me. Where the hell did they get that idea?”

“Made it up.”

“Clearly. It’s just wrong.”

“I assume that’s not the kind of journalism you’ll be studying.”

“Hell no.”

We shared a laugh, and I realized I was starting to feel better. Liss had a calming influence. She seemed so self-assured and secure. In her relationship and herself. And from what the guys had told me, she went from being a waitress to girlfriend of Joe Hawk in no time flat. If she could manage, so could I. I hoped. Not that our situations were the same. Joe was on his way to becoming a super-star, but he was pretty well-adjusted and completely devoted to her.

“Wow, I guess I really did need to talk. Thank you.”

She smiled. “No problem. Listen, I don’t know what the solution is, really. Dex has some real issues to deal with, things you can’t make disappear. But he’s great. And worth the trouble, I think. When Joe and I were going through some stuff, Dex was a good friend to both of us. And I see how happy he is around you.”

“I feel the same way.”

“Good. So just go with the flow, you know? See how things shake out. If the past few weeks have shown us anything, it should be that anything can happen. Life changes so fast. Take what good you can.”

I shook my head. “I hear what you’re saying. But that is
so
not me. I like to plan things, organize. Know what my options are and the possible repercussions.”

“That, my friend, is what makes you good at your job. But love doesn’t work that way. Never has, never will.”

“I never said anything about love.”

She leaned forward and patted my shoulder. “You didn’t have to.”

I sighed deeply. “That obvious?”

“To me? Yeah. You wouldn’t be this freaked out if your feelings weren’t so strong.”