Well-Tempered Clavicle (25 page)

The monster’s attack intensified, and Picka had to struggle again to fend it off. He realized that it had eased during the distraction of Bink’s fall.

“You let those panties freak you!” Pundora told Piper, disgusted. “Instead of finishing him while he was distracted, you idiot.”

Picka realized that it was so. Piper remained a human being despite his monster form; the sight of lovely human women’s panties had indeed distracted him. That had given Picka invaluable resting time.

But now the battle was on again. Piper’s music was pressing him hard, and he was slowly losing purchase. The monster had had plenty of time to perfect his ability, while it was new to Picka. Learning to play the kill-music was one thing; playing it well was another. He was in trouble.

A fallen tree trunk forged through the air toward them. “What’s that?” Chameleon asked.

“Granola,” Dawn said. “She found a tool.”

The trunk came down to push against the monster. Piper started sliding toward the brink.

“An invisible giantess!” Pundora said. “I smell her perfume. Stun her! Stun her hard!”

The monster reoriented his music. The tree trunk stopped moving. Then there was a loud crash, as Granola fell backward to the ground.

“Bleep,” Dawn said, wincing.

There was a loud honk. Mim had finally blown her horn. The distraction of stunning the giantess had meant the monster had momentarily released the others.

“Oh, bleep!” Pundora complained. “She’s calling the dragons!”

Picka was relieved. The dragons could come and toast the monster, winning the battle.

“Finish him off before the dragons come,” Pundora said. “You have to get rid of him before you can concentrate on the others and capture the princess.”

Piper redoubled his effort. His vents blew out a phenomenal medley of notes. The music surrounded Picka, battering him, driving his control back. His arms slowed again, and his notes became faint.

“She’s guiding him,” Dawn said. “We have to silence her.”

“I don’t like attacking a woman,” Skully said.

“You don’t have to.” Dawn abruptly charged Pundora.

“But she’s not exactly alive,” Joy’nt called, following her. “You won’t know everything about her. You’re not a fighter.”

“Thats what you think,” Dawn called back.

Pundora saw her coming. She drew out her mirror, which became the sword. But Dawn was upon her before she could swing the sword. Dawn grabbed the hilt, wrenching it away, and it fell to the ground.

Then it was a human-style catfight, with clawing, scratching, and hair pulling. The two fell to the ground, rolling over, trying to gain advantage.

“Meow!” Midrange called.

Dawn heard and heeded. She let go of a hank of hair and caught at the skirt. She yanked it down, exposing Pundora’s panties. “Look at this, monster!” she cried.

Piper did. His music diminished. He had surely seen those panties many times before, and handled them, but this was a forbidden public view, far more enticing.

“Oh, yeah?” Pundora screeched. “Take that!” And she yanked down Dawn’s skirt.

But that, as it turned out, was a tactical mistake. If Piper was halfway freaked by Pundora’s panties, he was wholly freaked by Dawn’s panties. She was, after all, the beautiful princess he wanted to capture, tame, and marry. His music died away.

“Oh, for bleep’s sake!” Pundora exclaimed. She yanked Dawn’s skirt back up, then her own. Then she wrenched herself away from Dawn’s grip and retreated. “Take out the skeleton!” she called. “Now!”

The monster’s music resumed and intensified. Picka had to struggle again to fend it off. He was dismayed by the increasing force of Piper’s attack against him; the monster was getting his number, as it were, and might indeed finish him off.

Midrange meowed with further advice.

“Right,” Dawn agreed. She pounced on the fallen sword.

But it changed into the woman Steel. “I’m not serving you,” she said. “You’re destined for a soft regal life. Not much excitement there.” She followed Pundora.

So much for that ploy. It had seemed like a good idea, because the loss of the aid of the sword/mirror would have stripped away Pundora’s ability to track Dawn.

Dawn had to retreat. Her clothing was torn in strategic places, her fair skin was scratched, and her hair was an utter mess.

But the reprieve she had won for Picka was vital, because now the first dragon was arriving. It was huge, with fire jetting from its snoot. It glided to a landing before the group of people.

“Toast it!” Mim cried, gesturing to Piper. “It’s an intruder, and dangerous.”

The dragon nodded and oriented on the monster. It inhaled.

“Pacify it!” Pundora cried. Her clothing, skin, and hair were in similarly bad shape. It had been an even fight.

The music shifted, and the pressure was off Picka. That was an enormous relief, because he had been near complete wipeout. The attack had not been physically debilitating, so much as magically. All he could do for the moment was rest and recuperate. And watch the face-off between dragon and monster.

The dragon paused in mid-inhalation. Piper’s magic was freezing it in place, so it could not blast out its fire. The versatility and power of the monster was frightening.

But all Piper had done was stop the dragon, not defeat it. That obviously wasn’t enough. It was simply another stalemate.

“Now slide forward and goozle out its gizzard,” Pundora said.

The monster slid forward, literally, like a giant snail, his music not pausing. The dragon was in trouble.

Picka had to rejoin the fray. He was tired and weak, magically, but he couldn’t just watch the dragon, who had come to help them, get goozled.

He resumed playing his music, directing the killing theme at Piper.

“Bleep!” Pundora swore. She lifted her recovered sword and charged Picka.

Skully intercepted her, his arms formed into swords. She had to turn to fend him off. In half a moment they were embraced, neither sword effective. But it took up Pundora’s attention, which meant she couldn’t attack Picka or direct Piper.

Picka intensified his music to the extent he could. It was a relatively feeble effort, but it had to be parried or it would be effective. The monster shifted his music to fend off Picka’s attack. Picka felt the terrible power battering his bones. He could survive this for only seconds.

The dragon, freed, exhaled. A blast of fire shot out. It missed the monster, because the dragon had not yet had time to reorient, but the next one wouldn’t miss. Not even the monster could handle a torching like that; he would be roasted in place.

The music shifted again. The dragon froze. Picka renewed his attack.

“Bleepity bleep!” Pundora swore villainously, causing the nearby grass to smolder. “We can’t handle both together. We have to get out of here.”

Piper seemed glad to agree. He slid away from the dragon and Picka. Both advanced at the same rate, alternating their attacks.

Pundora got on the monster’s back. His rear portion went over the brink and folded down to contact the cliff, sticking to it. He continued around that turn, still fending off Picka and the dragon with sharp alternate musical thrusts.

“This isn’t over!” Pundora screamed as she slowly disappeared over the brink. “We’ll be back when you’re not ready, meatless head!”

Picka and the dragon moved to the brink and looked down. The monster was sliding slowly down the wall, getting out of range of Picka’s music. The dragon was unable to bend his snout down far enough to catch them. They had escaped.

“We won!” Chameleon said, thrilled. No one contradicted her; it wasn’t worth it. But they all knew that it had been a lucky and mixed victory at best. The monster could have defeated them all, without the dragon, or defeated the dragon without Picka’s countering music.

“I was not eager to have you folk here,” Mim said, “but I must say you fought well to preserve the sanctity of the mesa.”

Picka opened his jaw to protest that it was their own hides and bones they had been preserving, but caught Dawn’s warning look, and was silent. For one thing, the monster would not have come here if Dawn and Picka had not been present.

“We will be moving on as soon as we recover from our effort,” Bink said smoothly. “Thank you for your timely assistance, Mim. You may have saved my life.”

“That’s all right,” Mim said. “I couldn’t let you just drop. Your grandson would never have forgiven me.”

His grandson Dolph, who could assume the form of a winged monster, Picka remembered.

“Thank you, Stover,” Mim said to the dragon. “You did good work, stopping that stinky thing.” He nodded and spread his wings. He launched himself off the cliff, and in two-thirds of a moment was gone.

“Now about that giant…”

“Granola!” Dawn cried. “She may be hurt! She took a bad fall.” She ran to where she judged the giant lay.

“We apologize for deceiving you,” Picka said. “We should not have done that.”

“You should not have,” Mim agreed. “But now that I have seen what you are up against, I am inclined to let it be. You were desperate.”

“Well—”

“She’s all right,” Dawn called. “Shaken up, but not badly hurt. A day’s rest should help.”

“Take that day,” Mim said gruffly. Then she walked back to her station, leaving the rest of them alone.

“Now I know why my talent allowed itself to be revealed,” Bink said. “It was my own folly; I was so busy watching the action that I backed off the cliff. That’s a nonmagical danger. I would have fallen and died, had Joy’nt and the rest of you not acted.”

“But you wouldn’t have been distracted, had the monster not come after us,” Joy’nt said.

“Me,” Dawn said, returning to the group. “It came after me. It was my fault.”

“And I would not have been comfortable having you abducted by the monster,” Bink said. “So I’m glad I was here. Quite apart from the fact that Picka solved Chameleon’s problem.”

“I never thanked you for that!” Chameleon said. She came and hugged Picka. “We’re so grateful!”

“You’re welcome,” Picka said, embarrassed.

“But before we separate,” Bink said, “I want to know what Pundora meant when she said they would be back. Surely not back here, where Dawn won’t be, but the dragons will.”

“Remember,” Dawn said. “Piper wants to marry me. So he’ll chase me until I find a better way to discourage him. He just won’t stalk me when there’s a big dragon near.”

“Ah, yes,” Bink agreed. “And I think that now he will be stalking Picka Bone as well, because—” He paused. “Is it Bone or Bones? Your father Marrow is Bones.”

“We are Bones too,” Joy’nt said. “Either one of us is Bone; the two of us are Bones.”

“The plural,” Bink agreed, nodding. “At any rate, now the monster knows that Picka can stop him musically, and wants to marry Dawn, so he is a rival to be eliminated.”

“I really didn’t stop him,” Picka said. “He was overwhelming me. Only the savage presence of the dragon prevented Piper from wiping me out.”

“Ah, but your effort was enough to divert him from the dragon,” Bink said. “And it was, I believe, your first effort of magical music. He knows you will improve. So you are definitely a threat.”

“Not much of one, I fear.”

“We’ll train you,” Dawn said confidently, “so you can get good enough to take him on alone.”

“I appreciate your confidence in my potential strength,” Picka said weakly.

“And I still owe you a favor,” Bink concluded.

“Consider it done,” Picka said. “You tackled Pundora so she couldn’t heckle me.”

“But I did not get rid of her.” Bink paused thoughtfully. “Though she was a pretty interesting armful.”

“Bink!” Chameleon protested.

“Not as interesting as you,” he said quickly. “And of course she’s magical, so she was unable to freak me out and make me vulnerable. Anyway, my effort was wasted, so the debt is unpaid.”

“There’s no need—” Picka began.

“Maybe there will be another opportunity in the future,” Bink said. “I will keep it in mind.”

“Your approval of our union will do, Great-grandpa,” Dawn said.

Bink frowned. “Now be reasonable, Great-granddaughter! I’m willing to slay a monster, but this is beyond the pale.” But he was unable to keep his face straight, and they all dissolved in laughter.

They went to Granola, who was sitting up. “You tried,” Dawn told her. “You helped. We really appreciate that.”

“I was stunned before I accomplished anything,” Granola said.

“We all were,” Dawn said. “All living creatures, including the dragon. And the skeletons had problems too. You couldn’t help it. That’s one formidable monster.”

“He is indeed,” Granola agreed. “We shall have to consider carefully before we engage him again.”

“And we will have to meet him again,” Joy’nt said, “because he is after Dawn.”

“Meanwhile, you need to rest, Granola,” Dawn said. “We’ll leave tomorrow.”

“We don’t know where we’re going next anyway,” Picka said.

“That favor,” Bink said suddenly. “I just thought of it. Picka will need to practice his music. I know a fine musician in Rap Port who may be able to help you. His name is GoDemon, and he can make music from anything. If he can’t help you, maybe he will know who else can. I will write you an introduction.”

“Thank you,” Picka said. “Maybe he will know how I can improve enough.”

Bink wrote out the note and gave it to him. Picka stored it in his head. He wasn’t at all sure that anything could help him enough, but he had to try.

After that Dawn remade her hair so as to look presentable and kissed Bink and Chameleon farewell, and the pair got on their flying carpet and departed.

“Mim accepted our apology and gave Granola a day here to recover,” Picka said.

“That’s a relief.”

They set about foraging for a meal for those who needed to eat, then had another musical practice session. It was a nice conclusion to a highly mixed day. They had learned how deadly serious their mission had become.

Picka hoped he would be able to measure up.

14

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AP

In the morning, reasonably rested, they piled into Granola’s handbag and lifted off the mesa. The giantess returned to the steep path she had found, unnavigable by any ordinary-sized creature, and brought them down to normal ground level.