Well-Tempered Clavicle (29 page)

Picka unlimbered his clavicles and began to play. He played nullification music, countering the pacification music. The townsmen began to stir. One of them threw his torch at the monster.

Then something odd happened. Just before it reached the monster’s flesh, there was a short bleat of dissonance and it snuffed out.

A second townsman hurled his torch. This too winked out.

Piper was musically dousing the torches! Picka had not known he could do that, and probably GoDemon had not known either.

Skully joined him. “Can you do that?” he asked.

“I think I can, now that I’ve heard the music for it. But I don’t want to put out any torches.”

“If the monster can put a fire out, can he start one?”

Picka was surprised by the thought, and his music hesitated. That allowed the monster’s music to gain advantage. “Maybe he can. That would be another inanimate effect.”

“You had better learn how, then, so you can give him a better hotfoot.”

“I can’t invent such music. I have to hear it first.”

“Then get him to play it.”

“How?”

Skully considered. “Maybe you can trick him. Set him up to set you back by blasting you with fire.”

“But he knows that skeletons aren’t much subject to fire. It would have to be a very hot, enduring blast, like that of a large fire dragon. He won’t waste his effort.”

“He might, if he thought you were foolish. Without Pundora to advise him, he might be fooled.”

It made sense. “She’ll be back any moment now. I need to act fast.”

“A mattress!” Skully said. “I’ll fetch a mattress you can use to shield yourself, maybe muffling his music.”

“But a mattress wouldn’t be much protection. It would readily burn!”

Skully nodded.

Then Picka caught on. “Fetch it!”

Skully ran off, while Picka continued to advance slowly against the monster, interfering with his pacification music so that every so often a townsman was able to throw another torch. Because there were many brave townsmen, Piper had to focus intently, and that enabled Picka to match his music. If it had been just the two of them, the monster would have driven Picka steadily back.

Skully reappeared, carrying a mattress. “I explained to a townsman,” he said. “He gave me this old one.”

But there was a problem. “I can’t hold up the mattress and play my ribs at the same time.”

“That’s right! My oversight. Okay, I’ll hold it, shielding you.”

They advanced, Skully holding the mattress between them and the monster. “Say, this really helps!” Picka said loudly. “He can’t see me to focus on me, as long as the mattress shields me from his view.”

“When we get close enough, I’ll start chopping off his legs,” Skully said. He did not clarify how he would do that while using both arms to hold up the big mattress. With luck, he would not need to.

There was a strange new musical theme. Could that be it?

Suddenly a fireball formed right over the mattress. It was so hot it made the straw and fabric burst into flame.

“Oh, our plot is ruined!” Skully cried loudly. “I’ll beat it out!” He threw down the mattress and flailed at it with his widened arm bones.

The music repeated. Another fireball burst, igniting more of the mattress. “Oh, horror!” Skully cried. “The monster is outsmarting us!”

Picka, though, now had the tune and could duplicate it. But he didn’t, because he didn’t want the monster to realize his mistake.

Pundora reappeared and ran to join Piper. Her hair was wild; she evidently had countered the foolishly amorous townsmen and had to fight her way free. They must have been tenacious. Probably the darkness had prevented them from seeing her bra or panties, so she had been unable to freak them out by mere sight. That would account for the delay.

That made him wonder about her. With her body she could have fascinated almost any mortal man. Why did she bother with the monster? Could her need for vengeance be that great? Well, how would Picka himself feel if someone killed Dawn? He would probably be dedicated to destroying that person to the exclusion of all else. Pundora must really have loved Attila. So her attitude was understandable.

The woman leaped onto the monster’s back. She whipped out her mirror. “Princess Dawn is that way,” she said, accurately pointing. Piper immediately turned that way.

This was mischief. Dawn would never be safe as long as Pundora could track her. Why hadn’t he thought to take away that infernal mirror while he had Pandora? He knew why: because it wasn’t just a mirror, but a collaborating woman who could not be dissuaded.

But that was a long-term threat. Right now he simply had to stop Piper from following Dawn. At least he had a new weapon to do it.

He played fireball music. His first effort was wild; the fire formed high in the sky and flared out in half a moment. His second was better, closer to the monster and lasting longer. His third was right on target, right over Piper’s head-part.

The monster extinguished it immediately, of course. But that effort caused him to forget the townsmen. They tossed in several more torches.

“Stun them!” Pundora cried. “Stun them all, hard enough to last!”

The townsmen fell to the ground and lay still. They were out of it.

“Now take out Picka!” Pundora said. “You can’t win the princess until you get rid of him, because she loves him. Run him over, dismember him, dissolve his bones! Then you’ll be able to go after Dawn.”

Unfortunately, she was exactly right. She was again providing the strategy the monster needed to win. Picka should never have let her rejoin the fray.

The monster, freed of distractions, oriented on Picka. Another fireball flared. Picka put it out, but it was a struggle because he was not proficient in this new music. He backed away.

Piper advanced, hurling more fire. Picka felt the searing heat; any living man would be severely burned, or already dead. Picka himself would soon enough be singed; the blasts were too close, too fierce. He retreated farther.

“We need help,” Skully said, and ran away. That was his idea of helping?

“See, his false friend’s deserting him,” Pundora cried gleefully. “Finish him off!”

Picka got marginally smarter and sent a fireball not at the monster, but directly at Pundora. It burst right over her head and singed her hair before Piper put it out. But then she hunkered down, becoming much less of a target, and the monster was on guard, so that ploy was no good anymore.

The monster continued to advance, and Picka continued to retreat. His music was protecting him, and he was getting better at it with this necessary practice, but he was still far from good enough. He was in deep doubt he would ever be good enough. Piper was simply the better musician, and that included the kill-music, fireballs and all.

He was, ultimately, doomed. Even if he survived this encounter, he would be at a similar disadvantage in the next—and there would be a next, because the monster would never quit until Picka was destroyed and Dawn was possessed.

Then Skully returned. There was someone with him. “See? I told you,” he said. “Fireballs!”

“So I see,” the other replied. “I had not known of this particular aspect. The monster has grown more formidable than I realized.”

It was GoDemon, who had gone to organize the townsmen. “I need help!” Picka said. “He is too strong for me.”

“And for me,” Go agreed. “But let’s see what we can do together.” He was holding a torch to light his way. Now he fingered it, and music surged forth.

The monster halted. Because Go’s music was countering the stunning the townsmen had received, and they were clambering back to their feet. They picked up their fallen torches and resumed stalking Piper.

Picka played his music with new vigor. Fireballs flew at the monster, one after the other, barely getting extinguished before singeing Piper’s tender flesh.

The monster had no choice. He had to retreat.

“Bleep!” Pundora cried villainously. “Bleepity bleepity bleep!”

“That girl’s got a foul mouth,” Go remarked as they slowly walked forward, playing their music.

“We tried to separate her from the monster,” Picka said, “because she enables him to attack us effectively. But we failed.”

“Why does she support him?”

“Dawn inadvertently destroyed her boyfriend, Attila the Pun. She’s furious.”

“Battila?”

“No, Attila.”

“I encountered a Battila once, a caped warrior. Maybe they were brothers.”

They were coming to the edge of town. There was a brushy area beyond it. “Set fire to the brush!” Pundora told the monster. “That’ll distract them.”

Piper directed his magic to the brush. One bush after another burst into flame. In no more than two and a half moments there was a raging brushfire. There was a nasty wind blowing it toward the town.

“Oh, bleep!” Go swore. “We have to stop that fire.”

Picka tried, but he could douse only one spot at a time, while this was a savage line. The best he could do was make temporary holes in the firewall.

The townsmen got to work, fetching buckets of water from the harbor. Each bucketful was small, but there were many of them, and soon they got the fire under control.

But while they were doing that, Pundora and the monster made their escape. It would be useless to try to go after them in the night.

“At least we beat them back,” Skully said.

GoDemon, worn and weary from the effort, looked at Picka. “I think you will understand why you will not be welcome here, hereafter. We can’t afford to suffer more attacks like this.”

“We understand,” Picka said.

“Go somewhere else, practice your music, handle the monster,” Go said. “You know enough to do it, Picka. All you need is to practice and get as good as you can be.”

“I fear the monster is better than I will ever be,” Picka said morosely.

“I am not sure of that. You have remarkable aptitude. At any rate, you have to try.”

Picka had to agree.

They went to find Joy’nt and Dawn. They had rejoined Granola and were hidden high in the air. Picka bid farewell to GoDemon, thanked him for the instruction, and he and Skully climbed into the invisible handbag and disappeared. The townsmen were amazed.

Inside the handbag Dawn, fully recovered, flung her arms around Picka and kissed his skull. “You saved me!” she exclaimed.

Technically, Skully had saved her from the monster, but Picka elected not to argue the case. It was enough for now that he had learned powerful new music magic, and that they had managed to fight off the monster.

It had been a close call, though, featuring the massed power of two music magicians and many townsmen. Just as it had been when they had had the participation of the big fire dragon. Picka remained deeply uncertain that he would be able to do the same alone.

And he knew the monster would be coming after them again.

16

A
DORA

Granola set them down near the north coast of Xanth. “I have a place to go, but I’m tired,” she said apologetically. “I need to rest. I did not participate in the action at Rap Port, but I was unable to relax while the rest of you were in danger.”

“Understandable,” Dawn said. “It was tense for all of us. But where is it you have in mind to go, since we have not decided on another thing to search for?”

“It is in the northeast corner of Xanth, a kind of community, I think. I have no idea why we might be interested, and of course unless it’s the next-to-last place we look, we won’t find anything there. But at the moment anywhere that’s well away from the monster appeals to me.”

“We understand,” Picka said. Then he got an idea. “I think I know what to look for next. Maybe it’s crazy, but GoDemon mentioned a person.” He shook his head. “No, it’s ridiculous.”

“Now you have me interested,” Dawn said. “What person?”

“Battila. I thought he meant Attila, but he didn’t. Someone he met once. It must be a coincidence of names.” The idea was flitting around, but not settling anywhere.

“I wonder,” Dawn said. “I am dubious about coincidences. It sounds too much like Attila.”

“I wonder whether Battila is anything like Attila,” Joy’nt said. “Whether—” She broke off.

“Whether he might resemble Attila enough to interest Pundora,” Skully said.

That was the idea. “If she got interested in someone else, she might desert Piper,” Picka said. “Again. I think she really loved Attila, so isn’t interested in anything but vengeance. But if she found someone else who was a lot like him, maybe then she would have another thought.”

“Let’s face it,” Dawn said. “Attila the Pun destroying himself was crazy, but logical on his own terms, and it happened. This Battila might be similarly crazy yet logical. I think we should check him.”

“I think I am already headed there,” Granola said. “Of course I won’t find it immediately.”

“Now that too is interesting,” Dawn said. “Picka had an idea he didn’t know about, and you responded to it before he figured it out. We seem to be interacting more meaningfully than we realize.”

“We’re a team,” Joy’nt said. “I think I’ll almost be sorry when this mission ends and we go our separate ways.”

“I’ll go with you,” Skully said immediately.

She laughed. “Of course. But what about Granola?”

“We’ll make beautiful music together,” Picka said. “Dawn, Granola, and I. Maybe we could travel around and give concerts.”

“I’d like that,” Granola said.

“Speaking of which,” Dawn said, “we need to practice.” She eyed Picka in that living eyeball way she had. “By that I mean
you.
You have to get as good as you possibly can be, or better.”

“Yes, dear,” he said meekly.

They all laughed. But there was a current of nervousness in it because they all knew that the challenge might be more than they could handle. Piper was a monster, but he was also Xanth’s finest musician. How could anyone defeat him musically?

“Let’s forage for something to eat,” Dawn said. “Then we’ll practice.”

They piled out of the handbag and the pets quickly explored the area, searching for food. The skeletons looked too, caring about the welfare of their friends.