Western Pleasure (The Texas Two-Step Series, a Novella) (4 page)

"That's it." Ellen bit her lip. "The laptop I've been using is ancient and can't do more than email."

"Why don't we go to the store tomorrow? I'd be happy to help you pick one out."

"That's kind of you, Jim. Thanks." Asking him for help probably wasn't her best idea. But he was the sort of man who knew something about almost everything. It's why he'd been such an incredible help after Ben's passing.

Once she got her new computer up and running, she'd set up online dating. Then her crush on Jim would soon be a thing of the past.

She hoped.

Chapter 5

It was barely mid-morning, and the sun already beat down on Jim's dark hair, cooking him like a rack of baby back ribs in the smokehouse. He paced back and forth while he waited for Ellen to meet him in front of the Apple store in Southlake.

He was determined. He was resolute. He was fearless in the face of adversity.

And come to find out, he was a yellow-tailed scaredy-cat of a man.

How could one gorgeous woman turn him into a bowl full of Jello?

He'd been in love with Ellen since they first met. Unfortunately, she'd been married, and not only married, but extremely happily married to one of his closest friends.

If Ben had even once taken Ellen for granted, or treated her poorly, Jim would have had no doubts about stepping in. But it had never happened. Everything pointed to his trusted friend being as in love with Ellen as Jim was.

After Ben's death, Jim had been wracked with grief. And now he battled the guilt over listening to that selfish little voice in his head saying now he had his chance. He wanted to honor his friend's memory, but he also wanted to stay true to how he felt about Ellen.

What had started as a faint whisper in his ear had turned into a deafening roar insisting he act on this or risk losing Ellen to another man.

The thought pummeled him.

Ellen was still vulnerable, and he hated the idea of another man swooping in and claiming her. What if he took advantage of her? No way on earth could Jim stand by and let that happen.

After Ben's death, Ellen had been too wrapped up in sorrow for Jim to think of doing anything more than help her in any way he could. He'd been telling his little voice that the time would come, that it was still too soon.

Ellen wasn't ready yet.

Last night, though, had given a new dimension to the little voice's insistence. It was not only yelling, it was practically booming.

Was it possible Ellen was now ready to consider a new romantic relationship?

Maybe she was ready. Maybe not.

At first, last night's dinner had all the makings of a date.

Dinner. Wine. Good conversation.

But no date of his had ever included the dry activity of reviewing a ten-page land lease.

He'd thought they'd shared a moment or two as they washed dishes. The way she'd looked at him, and he could have sworn she'd batted an eyelash or two. He'd fought with every ounce of might not to wrap his arms around her and steal a kiss.

When they'd moved into the family room, he'd waited for her to give him a cue she wanted him to make a move.

Instead, she'd given him the land lease and wanted his advice.

He'd quickly cooled his jets. But his desire for her didn't cool. Not one bit.

And today she wanted him to help her pick out a laptop.

"You're sure lost in thought, Jim."

He didn't have to turn to know it was Ellen. He would recognize her beguiling voice anywhere or anytime. He spun to face her. "Sorry about that. Have you been here long?"

"No, I just got here, but you didn't answer when I first called your name."

He really
had
been lost in thought if he hadn't heard her immediately. How did she manage to look even lovelier each time he saw her? He noted the cute bangles she wore on her ears, their movement drawing his eye to her pretty pink lips. "Are you ready to go inside?"

About fifteen minutes of shopping later, they stood in front of one laptop for a second time. Ellen grinned. "I think this is the one."

He had to give kudos to Ellen. She didn't dawdle when shopping. She had checked out the choices, asked a staff person a few questions, asked for Jim's opinion and ultimately made a decision. "I agree. With the upgrades we discussed, it should last you for several years, if not more."

He turned and signaled for the salesperson to come over and write up the purchase. When Ellen gave the young man her credit card, Jim had to fight the urge to try to pay for it himself. Ellen wouldn't like it if he did.

After Ben's death, he'd offered to make things easy on her, to handle all of the bills, but she'd refused his charity. He'd insisted it wasn't, but her independent streak didn't see it that way.

Instead, she'd pulled up her bootstraps, started her own business, then had grown it into a huge success. This from a woman who'd previously described herself as "only a homemaker."

Homemaker his patoot. She was a warrior woman. A Valkyrie. The only kind of woman who could wrap her little finger around his heart.

He glanced over at her. He could never get enough of just looking at her, with her reddish-blond hair all shiny and glossy, and her eyes lit up with excitement.

The salesman completed the transaction on his palm-sized wireless computer. "It shouldn't take long to add the upgrades you ordered. When it's ready, I'll bring it out from the back."

"Thanks," Ellen said as the salesman headed to the back of the store.

She turned to Jim. When her light-eyed gaze settled on him, he felt as if he'd been sucker punched. That's what being around her always did to him. How could he think, much less be coherent, when she stood this close to him? When she looked at him as if he knew the answers to all of her questions? Especially when the depth of her blue eyes simply dazzled him.

He swallowed and took a step back.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

He blew out a solid breath. "Yeah. More than okay."

"How long do you think it will take them?" she asked.

There, she'd done it to him again. Asked a question, sure he'd know the answer. At least this time he did. "They're usually pretty speedy. I bet they'll be back within ten minutes."

"That's faster than I'd feared." A nervous laugh escaped her.

Jim noted a touch of trepidation in her tone. A little red flag perhaps? Did the purchase trouble her? Did something else? "You know," he ventured, "you never mentioned why you need a new computer."

Ellen's face bloomed to a brilliant red and she ducked her head so that her hair swung in front of her face, blocking that cute blush from his view. What was there about a computer that could make a woman blush up to the roots of her hair?

"Please don't tell me you have a secret addiction to porn."

Ellen threw back her head and laughed. "Heavens no."

"I can't think of anything else to would make you blush like a bride on her wedding night."

Ellen shot him a mischievous grin. "You saw it, huh?"

"You look cute in red."

Her expression grew serious and her eyebrows rose as if she were about to ask a question. "Well, if you have to know, it will help me enter and organize my recipes," she said, then hesitated. "Um, I also plan to join... one of those online dating sites."

Jim's stomach crashed. Then up piped his little persistent voice.
Warning. Don't wait any longer.
Lights flashed and squeals sounded in his head, louder than any siren. Was he about to lose his opportunity before he even began? Striving for a casual tone, he asked, "So, you're ready for dating?"

Again Ellen blushed.

He could stand here admiring every graceful move of hers for hours. His own heated blood rushed through him. The little voice grew frantic.
Now's your chance. If you don't say something now, it might forever be too late.

His gut clenched. What if she turned him down? Said she only thought of him as a friend? Would it destroy everything they had together now? Was their friendship enough?

Every part of his being said no. It wasn't enough.

He wanted more. He'd wanted more for more years than he could count.

He stepped slightly closer to her, his gaze met hers and she didn't step away. She had eyes that could bring a man to his knees. He opened his mouth to say so, to say something to let her know how he felt, to ask her on an official date. "I was thinking—"

The salesperson returned with Ellen's computer. "Here you go, ma'am."

Jim didn't know whether to feel relieved or dashed. There was no going back, not now. He had to find out if Ellen was interested in him or not.

Ellen reached out to take the bag the salesperson offered, but Jim intervened. "Allow me," he blurted.

"Thank you both," said Ellen, her complexion at last returning to normal.

The salesman rushed off to help the next customer, leaving Jim standing so close to Ellen he could reach out and stroke the silky skin of her shoulder. He lowered his gaze, almost trembling from the effort to resist.

They'd completed their task, but he wanted more time with Ellen. Needed to tell her. And tell her now. But how? And with what words?

Just say,
I want you
? Or,
I need you
? Or,
I love you? Always have. Always will.

He squelched the tumultuous thoughts. They were too much, too soon. They were such crazy words to blurt out inside a computer store, he feared she'd laugh. Take it as a joke.

But this was no joke.

His heart, always so reserved, couldn't handle Ellen not taking him seriously. Couldn't handle a rejection from her.

"Thanks so much, Jim, for helping me with this." A sweet smile played across her lips. "I couldn't have done it without you."

The sound of her voice brought him out of his mental battle. "You know I'm always here whenever you need me," he muttered. He motioned for her to walk in front of him as they headed to the exit.

Ellen glanced at him over her shoulder. "I hope you know how much I appreciate you, Jim."

Appreciation wasn't the reaction he wanted from her.

He held the door open, and they stepped back out into the heat. "Which way to your car?"

She pointed up the street. "It's only five cars up."

Only five car-lengths to speak up. He dragged his feet. His nerve and his opportunity were slipping through his fingers. What was wrong with him?

He'd battled corporate raiders, fought ego-fueled power plays and defended his companies from international sharks, and emerged the victor. Yet this woman managed to wake a primal fear within him by her nearness alone. A fear he'd never known was in him.

Ellen again motioned toward her car. "I'm in a little bit of hurry, Jim. I have some cupcakes I need to frost for an event tonight."

"I didn't mean to hold you up, but you know I enjoy your company. In fact, I—"

She punched the button to unlock her door and her car beeped, cutting off his words. Startled, he opened the door for her. She bit her lip but didn't reply as she climbed into her Chevrolet.

He handed her the bag. "Are you all set now?"

Ellen nodded, but sat there frozen, not even starting her car.

Her sudden reticence concerned him. "Is everything okay? Are you having buyer's remorse?"

"I think the laptop will be great, Jim, once I figure out how to set it up so I can... " Her words trailed off.

So she could begin dating, the little voice warned. Fierce protectiveness for Ellen overcame him. Made him want to spend every waking moment with her. "Want me to come over and set it up for you?"

"Would you? That would be great. Thanks." Ellen smiled in relief, and he relaxed.

Whatever was bothering her couldn't be too bad when she could smile at him that way, with her eyes crinkling and mirroring the smile on her lips.

"I've got the charity thing tonight. Want to repeat dinner at my house tomorrow? I'll make your favorite chicken-fried steak while you set things up on my laptop."