What Endures (4 page)

"I seriously hope you’re not thinking of asking my parents to come stay here."

"Well. . ."

"No," he said firmly. "Besides the fact that I’m a 27 year old man who shouldn’t be going back under the care of his parents, I. . ." He shook his head, a grimace marring his handsome features.

"What?"

"I don’t know." He shook his head. “Nothing.”

"Jason-"

"No parents," he said firmly.

"O.K.," she said softly. Suddenly an idea occurred to her. She’d have to do another hard sell, but it was the best solution for now. "How about Tyler?"

"Tyler?" He looked at her incredulously. "My stepbrother?"

“Well technically, since your Dad divorced his Mom. . .” She stopped at the surprise look on his face. She grimaced. “Damn it. I’m sorry. I don’t know what you remember or not.”

He shook his head. “It’s okay. So Bruce and Marie aren’t. . .”

She shook her head. “Not for a while. Since you were juniors in high school.”

“So Tyler isn’t anything to me. Why would you think he’d stay with me?”

“I know you don’t remember it,” she said gently, “but you and Tyler are actually close now. I don’t know what you remember about him but you guys are like brothers, more so than when your parents were married. So I know Tyler wouldn’t mind staying here to help you out for a while."
After I convince him,
she added silently to herself.

"That’s just it," he said. "I don’t remember him. I remember. . pieces. . .like arguing with him, my Dad telling me I should be more like him. . .” He shook his head. “I don’t know him.”

"You saw each other while you were at the hospital," she said gently. "You got along then right?"

He shrugged. "I guess. But it was like all the other people who trailed in and out. I didn’t recognize them."

"Give it time." She forced an encouraging smile on her face. "You didn’t recognize me at first, right? Now here you are, wanting me to move in with you."

"You’re different,” he said, fixing her with an intense gaze. “And way prettier than Tyler.”

She felt a rush of heat up her cheeks and forced herself to ignore it. But she couldn’t stop the memory of the first time Jason had told her she was different. That had started them on a wild, wonderful, sometimes heart-breaking, but ultimately, incredible journey. Where would this lead them? She wasn’t quite ready to deal with it yet, so she took the coward’s way out.

"Yeah, people use that to describe me a lot," she said teasingly. "Right before they turn tail and run away.”

He continued to gaze at her, his eyes flashing with some emotion she couldn’t quite read and for an instant, she thought he was going to press the issue but instead he just smiled at her feeble joke.

She cleared her throat, glad that the awkward moment passed. "So how about I give Tyler a call?"

Megan could tell he was trying to determine how much more he could push her on this. After a few minutes, he nodded. "Okay."

He looked so disappointed, so lost and vulnerable then that she couldn’t help but reach across the couch and lay a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Jason, I will still come see you everyday. It’s just better that Tyler comes stay with you. That way, you guys can rebuild your relationship a little." She smiled. "Trust me. You guys really do like each other. And even if you didn’t, like you said, this house is big enough so that you wouldn’t always be in each other’s way."

He glanced away briefly before looking back at her. "What about our relationship, Megan? Are we going to rebuild that too?”

She knew she should have answered right away because her pause was more damning than if she had given a feeble answer. But she didn’t know how to answer him. So all she could do was stare at him. Something in his eyes told her that her non-response was answer enough for him.

#

"You sure about this Megan?”

She stuffed a few more T-shirts into the bag. "Ty, I swear if you ask me that one more time, I’m gonna tattoo ‘yes’ in big, bold, black
script
on your forehead!"

"Whoa, a lot of hostility coming from you."

“I’m sorry.” She sighed. "I mean you’re doing me this huge favor and I’m just being a bitch."

"’Bitch’ is kind of a harsh word, but it’s-" He stopped abruptly at the look that she shot him. "You’re entitled to some bitchitude, Meg. The past month has been hell for you."

“Just because I’m entitled doesn’t mean I should be.” She continued to help Tyler pack. "How about you? Are you sure about this? I mean, moving in with Jason for a while? Is it cool with your job? What about Lucy?"

Tyler smiled at her reassuringly. "It’s cool. I talked to the editor and he was fine with me taking some time. And I can work from your place in the meantime. Writing about sports can be done from mostly anywhere and when I have to go out to do interviews, Jason will have his nurse. It’s no big.”

Megan involuntarily winced at his words.
Your place
. That big, beautiful, but cozy and comfortable house that she and Jason had found a few years ago had always been considered ‘their place.’ Both hers and Jason’s. But now she was living in some hotel downtown, and Jason was living there with Tyler, and it wasn’t home for any of them anymore. 

"Oh, good," she said with a small smile. "We have DSL and you can always use my home office upstairs. Jason’s confined to the second floor until he can move around a bit better so if you guys need some space, you can just take the third floor."

Tyler looked at her in concern. "Meg, why don’t you just move back in? Just tell him and-"

"I can’t."

"Why? Because some doctor, who doesn’t understand anything about you or Jason beyond medical facts and figures, told you not to say anything?"

She shook her head. "Because I won’t have him trying to. . ." She stopped and sighed tiredly. "I don’t want him to feel obligated to me Ty. I never have."

"Obligated?"

She sighed. "Look, Ty. Jason’s. . .he’s different and yet, in a lot of ways, I see the ‘old him’ too you know? And I know if I told him we’re engaged, that would make him feel obligated to me. To try and feel something for me. And that’s too much pressure for him, Ty." She looked at him sadly. "Besides, if Jason’s going to feel something for me, I want it to be honest and, and. . .real. I don’t want it to be because that’s what he used to feel in a life he doesn’t remember anymore. Or that he knows, rationally, that he should love me because I’m his fiancee. If he’s going to love me, I want it to be because he does. Pure and simple. No strings, no pressure, no obligations." She bit down on her lip. “I couldn’t bear it if he ever looked at me like he had to be around me, like he had to feel something for me.”

CHAPTER THREE

April. . .

“Hey man,” Tyler greeted Jason as he walked into the kitchen. He looked at the woman in black medical scrubs. “Ms. Clark.”

“Mr. Adams,” Ms. Clark returned politely, without even glancing in his direction.

Jason nodded in Tyler’s general direction but turned his attention back to the nurse who was stonily checking his pulse and blood pressure. He had to endure this routine three times a day, but he endured it because he and Megan had compromised. Somehow, he knew that he didn’t get the better end of that little compromise.

“All normal, Mr. Kincaid,” Ms. Clark said with a curt smile. “I’ll go get your morning medications. Would you like me to help you with breakfast too?”

Jason smiled tightly, biting back the rude retort on the tip of his tongue. Megan would be pissed, he told himself. “No, thank you. I can grab a bagel on my own.”

Another curt smile in his direction and Ms. Clark scampered off in the direction of what was a recreation room, but which Megan had converted into a bedroom for him. He looked at her retreating form in irritation before he wheeled his chair toward the kitchen, where Tyler was sitting at the table, sipping a cup of coffee. He noticed an extra mug set out and he maneuvered his wheelchair toward the table. 

“Thanks,” he mumbled as he reached for the mug.

Tyler smiled. “Figured you could use it.” He glanced in the direction that Ms. Clark had disappeared.  “You know if you killed her, Megan would pitch a fit.”

Jason choked on his coffee as a laugh surged up his throat.

“Whoa!” Tyler looked at him in concern. “You O.K.?”

He nodded, still coughing. “H-How’d you know?”

“I’ve seen you give a lot of people that look before,” Tyler said with a chuckle.

“Including you?”

Tyler shrugged. “Here and there. You got it thrown in your direction more than a few times too, in case you’re wondering.”

He laughed. “I know. Megan shoots me that look quite a few times a day.”

“You too, hmm?”

He smiled, knowing it was the right response. After all, Tyler was joking around. But something about the implication of Tyler’s relationship with Megan bothered him. Why it would bother him he didn’t know. Megan was just a friend, so what her relationship with anyone else was like shouldn’t bug him one way or the other, right?

He sipped his coffee and discreetly studied Tyler, who was reading some book and munching on a doughnut. The past few days had been interesting. He had thought that he would hate having Tyler around, because the only memories of him from when they had been young, and at each other’s throats. His jumbled, mixed-up memories left him feeling completely strange where Tyler was concerned. The memories he could grasp clearly were full of resentment and anger, but it was toward a younger Tyler. The blond kid who had been thrust into his life. The kid his father so often used to ‘motivate’ him.

 But he didn’t have any memories of the adult Tyler sitting across from him. This Tyler regarded him with sincere concern, but didn’t smother him with it either. Tyler kept his distance, and kept mostly to the third floor of the house. Periodically he would call down to see if Jason needed anything. In the evening, after Ms. Clark left, Tyler would pop in to watch either ESPN or a movie with him, or to grab something to eat in the kitchen.

 And much to Jason’s surprise, he got along quite well with Tyler. There was an easy camaraderie between them, like real brothers would have. It was nice, but also unnerving because the present didn’t jibe with the memories he had of the past. There was no way for him to connect how the kid he resented and at times hated in his youth was now the ‘older brother’ he could joke and laugh with. He felt as if someone had fast-forwarded his life and he missed out on some pretty damn good parts as a result.

 Just then, Ms. Clark came ambling in, carrying a small cup which he knew contained his medications, mostly antibiotics and vitamins to help him heal a faster. He suppressed a groan and forced another tight smile onto his face. A deal was a deal after all.

 “Here you go, Mr. Kincaid.” The woman had a clipped way of speaking that drove him nuts. He took the proffered cup and waited as she poured him a glass of water. Tyler continued to read his book, but the ends of his lips were curled upward. Tyler and Ms. Clark didn’t exactly get along and the extent of their interaction was a brief exchange of pleasantries when they saw each other each day. After that, they basically ignored each other. He only wished he had the same luxury.

Jason downed the pills in one big gulp of water and then handed both the cup and water glass back to his nurse. He refused to open his mouth to show that he had indeed swallowed the pills. He had to maintain whatever shred of dignity he could. He looked at her expectantly, knowing this was the time of day she ran over her schedule for him. He didn’t know why she bothered. It was always the same.

“Excellent,” she said. She glanced at her watch. “Well, then, I guess I’ll go get those errands done and I’ll be back later this afternoon to check in on you. And then. . .”

Jason tuned her out. He was actually getting quite good at it. And thank goodness too, because without this little talent, he would have broken his deal with Megan long ago. Besides, the woman said the same thing each morning. She would check on him that afternoon, help him off to PT, then be here when he got back, check on him again and then mercifully would leave for the day.

He wondered if she felt the need to repeat herself around him because of his brain injury. This, of course, incensed him because he wasn’t an idiot. And even if he were, he still didn’t need the woman to constantly repeat herself around him.

He sensed that she was done, so he did what he always did, smile wanly and nod. “Thank you.”

“See you in a while then,” Ms. Clark said. “Good-bye Mr. Adams.”

“See you,” said Tyler, not even glancing up.

When Ms. Clark finally left, he let out a heavy sigh and turned to Tyler. “You know, if you helped me, Megan would never have to know.”

Tyler laughed. “I don’t know, man. Megan’s really smart.” Tyler shot him a sympathetic look. “Besides, you get your cast off soon, right?” He nodded. “Maybe by then Megan will agree to ax the nurse idea.”

“You think?”

“It’s possible.”

“Somehow, I doubt that.” He looked at Tyler, unable to let go of the idea of him and Megan together. He knew he should leave that topic alone but he couldn’t. “Let me ask you something, man.”

“Sure.”

“How long have you known Megan?”

“A long time,” Tyler answered. “We go back to when we were kids. Why?”

He shrugged. “I’m just curious.” He indicated his head. “Trying to fill in the blanks you know?”

Tyler nodded. “Don’t force it too much. It’ll come, man.”

“And you and Megan, did you guys ever hook up?” he asked casually. Now it was Tyler’s turn to choke on his coffee. “Dude, you okay?”

Tyler gasped for breath, his face red. “Shit.” He furrowed his brow at Jason. “If you’re going to ask me something like that, make sure I don’t have anything in my mouth to choke on.”

“So that’s a ‘no’?” he asked, still striving to maintain that casual tone.

“Hell yes, that’s a no.” Tyler pretended to shudder. “Megan’s like a sister to me. So dude. . .gross.”

Tyler’s answer made him feel better, although he wasn’t sure why. Why the thought of Megan with another man would bother him he wasn’t sure. Maybe it was just male protective instincts.