What Happens Tomorrow (34 page)

“Can you tell me what happened tonight?” he nervously asks. I owe it to him to tell him what happened. Through all of the crazy in my life, he’s been there for me. He’s supported me and loved me. And with that love, he has saved me. Making it possible for me to live and love again. I slow my swing to a gentle sway.

“Okay…well, my visit with Anna was going good, better than I had expected actually since we were never very close. But then she gave me a box with Matt’s belongings, from the accident. It was hard to see his things again, but then I read a letter that was among his belongings, and I found out that my entire marriage was a lie. For years I’ve mourned a man who didn’t love me enough to stay faithful. I always knew Matt was a flirt, and I had my suspicions that he was messing around, but it was still a shock to finally have it confirmed.”

“Wow. I’m sorry, I had no idea.” His voice is soft, sincere and apologetic which makes me even angrier. Matt has somehow made Tyler feel he needs to apologize for
his
douchebag antics.

“God! How could I have been so stupid? I actually believed him, believed that it was my mind playing tricks. Then to find out today that he was cheating on me for god knows how long…” Tears fall from my eyes and it makes me angry. He doesn’t deserve my tears. “I suffered for years after the accident, thinking that I was the one responsible for their deaths that night.” He shakes his head in clear disagreement.

“You weren’t responsible for the accident, Brooke. It was just that, an accident. You had no control over it.”

“But that’s where you’re wrong. Days before the accident, Matt had started pulling away and we’d started fighting again. We had a fight in the car that night because I was angry and wouldn’t let it go. Don’t you see, if I would have stopped living in denial, stopped accepting all of the lies and just left him like I knew I should have…Katelin would still be here right now. They both would.

“Every single day, I fought the urge to take my own life, and do you know the real reason I didn’t? Charlie! I couldn’t do it to him. I couldn’t be the one to take his family away. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it’s true. I wanted to take my life so I could be with that asshole, and if it weren’t for the love of that precious little dog…I would have thrown it all away for a lying man who didn’t love me enough to be faithful.”

Tyler stops swinging. Slowly standing up, he walks towards me until he is standing in front of me. He reaches out for my hand and I oblige him, taking his hand in mine as he pulls me off of the swing and into his embrace.

“Come on, let’s get you home,” he says, leading me towards the car.

I don’t fight him.

OUR FLIGHT LEAVES at three o’clock this afternoon, but I want to stop at the cemetery to see my daughter one last time before we leave. I don't know how long it’ll be before I get to be close to her again.

Guilt.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m a bad mother. What kind of woman leaves her child behind and moves on with her life? I told Tyler last night that I wanted to visit Katelin alone today, that I needed some alone time to talk to my baby girl.

“You’re sure you want to do this on your own?” The sound of disappointment is heavy in his voice. “I promise I won’t get in the way. I'll even stay in the car if you'd like. I just want to be there for you.”

Grasping his stubbled face in my hands, I gently kiss the corner of his mouth. “I love that you want to be there for me, but I promise I'll be okay. I just need to be alone with Katelin and my thoughts right now. Can you understand that?” Looking at me with such reverence, he leans in and brushes his lips against mine.

“I can. I’ll be here waiting for you when you get back.”

Running my hand down the front of his shirt, the feel of his toned chest sets a hitch in my breathing. “You better be,” I playfully tease. I grab the keys off the counter and head out to the cemetery to visit my daughter one last time.

Twenty minutes later, I park the car and walk to where my precious angel sleeps. As I get closer I notice the fresh flowers… Anna. I sit down cross-legged beside my girl on the cool grass which is still a little damp this early in the morning.

“Hi, baby. I don’t know where to start…my heart hurts every day you aren’t with me, precious girl, and even though we were only in each other’s lives for a short time, I was so proud to be your mama. I pray you and your daddy are together and I hope you’re happy.” I wipe a stray tear that has slowly snaked down my cheek. “I’m sorry I moved so far away from you, but I hope you’ll understand why I had to do it. Moving was a good thing for me. I wouldn’t have met Tyler if I hadn’t moved. You would love him, baby. He’s an amazing man. I told him all about you, and he wishes he could have met you.”

I sit quietly, mindlessly running my hand along the words inscribed on my daughter’s headstone. I glance over to the larger headstone next to hers…Matt. “How could you, Matt?” I calmly whisper to his grave as though he was sitting beside me. “How could you do that to me? I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to forgive you…my life could have been so different if I had known.” I huff out a sigh as I stand and gently place my hand on Matt’s headstone. “Take care of our girl. Make sure she knows how much I love her. We might have had our issues, but you were a good dad.”

Slowly walking toward Katelin’s stone, I crouch down and wrap my arms around the cold granite. “I will carry you always in my heart, my precious girl. Nothing in this world will ever change how much I love you. I promise I won’t stay away as long.” I wipe the tears from my eyes and lovingly kiss the only thing that physically connects me to my daughter, her gravestone. “I love you, Katelin.”

I walk towards the car and I don’t look back for fear of never leaving her.

TYLER AND I say our goodbyes to my parents.

“I don’t want you to leave. I feel like you just got here,” my mom pouts as she pulls me into her arms. “I love you, sweetheart, and I’m happy to see you living again. Dad and I are really glad you brought Tyler home with you. We’re so thankful to have him in your life and ours,” she says happily with a kiss to my forehead.

“I’m the one who is thankful. I love you too, Mom, and I promise to visit more often.” She pulls me in close for one last hug. Tyler takes our bags out to the cab as Dad’s hands grip my shoulders. “He’s a good guy, Brooke. He loves you which is all this old man wants for his baby girl.”

I turn around and wrap my arms around his waist. “I love you, Daddy.”

“I love you too, Brooke,” he says, kissing the crown of my head. Tyler walks back into the house and hugs my parents goodbye, then we climb into the cab.

Taking my hand, he playfully winks at me. “Ready to head home?”

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to make one stop before we head to the airport. It won’t take long.”

THE CAB PULLS up to Anna’s house.

“I’ll wait here for you,” Tyler says, but I roll my eyes, shaking my head at him.

“Not this time you won’t. I want you to meet Anna, Tyler. You’re a part of my life and I want you to meet her.” He simply smiles and nods, I know he’s happy I included him.

Knocking on the front door, I see her peer out the window to see who it is, the smile on her face impossible to hide. Seconds later, the door opens as she stands with loving tears in her eyes.

“You came back. I didn’t think I would see you again,” she said, curiously eyeing Tyler.

“I’m so sorry I left the way I did. It was just…well, seeing Matt’s things…his wedding ring…it was the last thing I expected.” I decide not to mention the letter or it’s contents to Anna. I won’t be the one to destroy the memories she has of her son. The problems Matt and I had were our problems, not hers.

I watch as Tyler and Anna awkwardly exchange smiles, and realize I’m standing in my ex-mother-in-law’s doorway with my boyfriend and I haven’t even introduced them yet. Taking Tyler’s hand in mine, I give him a reassuring squeeze.

“Anna, I’d like you to meet my boyfriend Tyler. Tyler, this is Anna…Matt’s mom.” He smiles warmly, as he extends his hand towards her.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Anna.”

“Hi Tyler, it’s nice to meet you too. Boyfriend?” she questions with a cocked brow and heartfelt smile on her lips. “Please, won’t you both come in. I’ll make us some coffee.”

It breaks my heart to have to tell her that we can’t. “Unfortunately, we won’t be able to stay,” I say, motioning to the taxi waiting in her driveway. “We’re on our way to the airport, heading back home.” I watch as her smile disappears and her brows lower in disappointment. “But I wanted to stop by before we left and apologize for my running out on you last night. I know we didn’t always see eye to eye, but I wanted to let you know that you will always be part of my family.”

She nods, pulling her lips into a slight curl. “Brooke, I’m happy for you. I’d always hoped that you would find your way and move on with your life. Life is too short to spend it alone, especially for one so young. I know…because I speak from experience.” My heart sinks at the meaning behind her words. As far as I know, Anna has been single since Matt’s dad left her, always putting Matt before her own personal life.

“I would really like it if I could come and see you again. I don’t plan on staying away from Seattle as long this time.”

“I’d like that a lot,” she replies, pulling me into a warm embrace. Whatever may have happened between us is in the past. I know what it feels like to be alone, and I don’t wish that upon anyone, not even Anna. As she releases me from her arms, I lean in and place a loving kiss on her cheek.

“Thank you for taking care of Matt and Katelin when I couldn’t.” She closes her eyes and nods as a lone tear falls from her eye. “I hate to say goodbye, but if I don’t we’ll miss our flight. Take care of yourself. I promise to keep in touch.”

“Go and be happy, sweet girl. Matt would want that for you.” She pauses. “Tyler, you have a special girl there…take care of her.”

“I promise I will,” he replies, lifting my hand to his mouth and lovingly kissing my knuckle. Dropping my hand, he walks over to Anna and wraps his arms around her. “It was nice to meet you Anna, and I hope to see you again.”