What Happens Tomorrow (36 page)

Hot Doctor explains that it’s much easier to see the baby in early pregnancy this way than a traditional ultrasound. Tyler takes a seat beside me and grasps my hand firmly in his. The clamminess of his hand tells me he’s nervous, but the inquisitive look on his face tells me how excited he is. Sitting in the darkened exam room, we both anxiously watch the monitor as the doctor inserts the probe.

Moments later, Dr. Renner points at the screen. “And there we have it, a good strong heartbeat. Congratulations to you both. You are indeed pregnant, Brooke. I would say around ten weeks by the looks of things.”

Tears flood my eyes. When I look at Tyler, I see the tears in his as he squeezes my hand tight, then gets up out of his seat and kisses my mouth hard. Pulling away, he smiles as he wipes at his wet eyes. “You have no idea how happy I am at this very moment. I love you more than I can ever put into words.”

I know exactly what he means.

“I’m so sorry for the pain I’ve caused you, Brooke.” The sound of his voice sends shivers down my spine. I’d forgotten what his voice sounded like, but this is definitely him.“I need you to know that it’s okay to move on with your life. I’ve been watching over you. Katelin and I both have.”

He’s with Katelin.

Tears erupt from my eyes at the mention of my daughter’s name. “She’s with you? She’s not alone?” I sob.

“She’s here with me. We both want you to move on with your life and be happy without guilt. Tyler is a good man, a better man than I ever was, and I see how much he loves you. You don’t need to feel guilty about loving him or the baby you’re carrying.”

The baby. He knows about the baby.

My sobs are deeper. I’m not sure I can catch my breath through the pain I feel in my heart.

“Katelin and I will always be in your heart. You don’t need to worry about forgetting us. We love you, and we love Tyler and we love the baby.”

I close my eyes tight to stave off my tears and when I open them again, He’s gone. Was it a dream or was Matt really here? I decide not to tell Tyler about this dream.

Tyler rolls over and wraps a warm arm across my waist, and I splay my hand over the tiny bump of my stomach that has recently formed. Lovingly caressing the tiny bundle nestled safely away in my womb, I tell him or her how their big sister in heaven is our guardian angel and that she loves us and will always keep us safe.

With the man I love snuggled against my body and the feel of our baby inside me, I blissfully drift off to sleep. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve a second chance at love, but I’m thankful I chose to be a survivor.

WE’RE LESS THAN a month away from Brooke’s due date. It’s amazing how fast the time has gone by. It’s been the most incredible experience watching her body change as our baby grows.

I swear I don’t know how she’s holding it together because truthfully, I’m scared shitless. I’m about to become someone’s father. Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait to meet him or her. Who knew you could love someone so deeply when you hadn’t even met them? I find myself wondering who will he or she look like. I would never admit this to Brooke but, I hope we’re having daughter…a miniature version of her stunning mother with all her strength and her loving heart.

A little princess to spoil.

But no matter what, I pray for a healthy baby and safe delivery for my beautiful girl. If anyone would have told me a year ago that I would fall deeper in love with this incredible woman, the mother of my unborn baby, I would have told them they were full of shit. But it’s true. To watch our baby growing inside her. Watch her nurture and love this baby with all that she has and all that she is. After losing so much….I am completely in awe of her.

I love watching her sleep at night. So serene. The nightmares are long gone. It’s as though her heart is finally at peace since the baby. I slide my pillow discreetly down the bed careful not to wake her, so I can lay my head beside her belly.

This is my favorite time of the night. I love to watch the baby move inside her, just small movements, as if he or she knows this is our time and doesn’t want to wake Mommy. Her porcelain, silken skin is stretched taut over her swollen belly and I can’t help but lean over and kiss the warm shape of the tiny foot pressed up against it. I would do anything for her and the baby. They own my heart and my soul. I always thought Brooke was the most gorgeous woman I had ever laid eyes on, but never has she been more beautiful than she is right now.

When I think back to all of the things this amazing woman has overcome to get to this point in her life… I sigh deeply. I glance down at the two carat emerald cut engagement ring on her slightly swollen finger and smile. She said yes. The second best day of my life. The day in the doctor’s office, when I learned she was pregnant was the best day of my life. Two nights ago I took Brooke out for a nice romantic dinner to our favorite pizza place. Yeah, yeah…I know, I’m a hopeless romantic, but this restaurant is special. This was where we had our first date. It also doesn’t hurt that Brooke has a mad craving for pepperoni and anchovy pizza lately. I worked out the details with the owner a few days earlier. Brooke and I have never had a traditional relationship. Things that matter to most women didn’t matter to her anymore. She just wanted to live a simple life with the baby and me. Talking about her latest trip to the doctor she didn’t even glance at the pizza as it was put down on our table. If she had, she would have noticed the engagement ring currently on her hand sitting in the middle of the pizza. I served her a slice, terrified she would take a bite without seeing the ring and possibly choke, but thankfully, the sparkle caught her eye,

“Tyler? What’s this?” she quietly questioned as I dropped down to one knee beside her. Her beautiful big brown eyes filling with tears, but I could tell these were happy tears. I know my girl.

“Brooke Adams, you’re my best friend, my love, my lover and the mother of this little person who I can’t wait to meet,” I say, lovingly running my hand across her belly. “You’ve taught me that life is a gift and that we should cherish each and every moment because no one knows what happens tomorrow. I would be so unbelievably honored if you would make me the happiest man on earth again and say yes to becoming my wife.” She closed her eyes and chewed on her lip, I’m aware she was making me sweat but I didn’t care, she’s worth it. Her beautiful bright brown eyes opened, dancing with excitement as she spoke,

“My heart belongs to you, Tyler, and it always will. I would love nothing more in life than to be your wife, so yes. A thousand times yes. I will marry you.”

Smiling at the memory, I give our baby one last kiss goodnight before I move my pillow back up beside her and kiss the cheek of the beautiful woman who will become my wife.

Tomorrow.

I CAN’T SLEEP.

No matter what position I try to contort my body and this gigantic belly, into…I can’t get comfortable. I’d forgotten how awful the last few weeks of pregnancy are, but I’m not complaining, not for a moment. I never thought I would get a second chance at being a mother, but here I am.

Euphoric.

Tomorrow is the big day. I finally get to meet this little person who has used my bladder as a springboard for the past eight and half month.

Nervous.

We found out at my last check-up that the baby had turned breech and due to the fact that I had already had a c-section, Dr. Renner thought it was best to schedule a c-section. I’m a little disappointed, I was hoping for a natural delivery this time. But when all is said and done, I don’t care how this baby comes out. All I want is for him, or her to be healthy.

I lovingly glance at my handsome prince charming, stretched out next to me. Some days, I still have trouble believing that he’s mine and we’re married. I lean in close and kiss his stubbled cheek before I try to quietly climb out of bed. At least one of us should get some sleep.

“Hey, you all right?” I’m startled by his groggy voice, I thought he was still asleep.

“I’m okay. Just uncomfortable, but what else is new. I didn’t mean to wake you. I was just going to get up for a little while.” He rolls onto his side facing me, his hand gently gliding back and forth across my belly.

“Don’t get up. Stay here…with me. Let’s enjoy the last night of being just the two of us.” It’s hard to believe this is really happening, that it’s our last night as parents-to-be. “Hello in there, little baby,” he says, singing his words. “Just a few more hours and your mama and daddy will be leaving for the hospital to finally meet you.” He beams as he leans over and lovingly kisses my belly. I run my fingers through his hair just as the baby decides it’s time to wake up and play with Daddy. Every night for the last number of months, Tyler and the baby have had
special time
, all the while thinking I was asleep. But I wasn’t. I heard every heartfelt conversation, felt every knowing kick.

“Tyler…I’m scared.” I feel his body shift as he sits up beside me, pulling me into his arms.

“There’s nothing to be scared of,” he whispers, kissing my forehead. “I’ll be right there beside you. I promise…everything’s gonna be all right. Now close your eyes and try and get some rest, we have a very important day ahead of us and we both need a little sleep.

Lying against the warmth of his chest, I listen to the familiar thrum of his heart and wonder what our baby’s heart will sound like.

I close my eyes and say a little prayer to our guardian angels, to keep us safe.

THE SPINAL HAS taken effect.

Numb.

I no longer feel anything below my chest. It’s a strange feeling, trying to wiggle your toes when you can’t feel them.

I lay on the operating table intently watching as the doctors and nurses ready the room for our precious bundle. Nervously, I close my eyes.

Please, God. Please keep us both safe.

“Is this seat taken,” he startles me, trying to lighten the mood. He’s dressed from head to toe in hospital blues, making the beautiful blue of his eyes pop even more than normal.