What if I Fly? (30 page)

Their lives would have been so different if Avery hadn’t set her sights on Will. Then again, she might not have Liam if anything had been different. That doesn’t excuse Avery’s lies and deceit, but maybe…
just maybe, everything unfolded as it was meant to.

She has to tell Will about Liam tonight and she’s petrified. Her hands have been trembling since she first saw Avery in front of her house. The fact is she’s been lying to Will for the past two weeks.
Hell, for the past six years!

She remembers how upset she was when she found out he kept Avery’s visits a secret from her, and all they did was decorate his house! That was Will’s big lie of omission. Julia had a child. His child. And she kept it from him for over five years!

That’s more than a lie of omission…
is there even a word for what I’ve done?

Earlier today, when Julia and Liam took a walk to the bookstore after his nap, Liam asked her about Will.

“Mama, is Will going to be my daddy now?” he asked during their walk.

She’s dated a few men over the years, but never introduced Liam to any of them. This is a new experience for her son.

“We’ll have to wait and see. Do you like him baby?”

“Yeah. He’d be a good daddy.”

“Yes he would.” She stopped walking and hugged him to her. Has Liam felt the absence of a father figure? He’s never asked about having a father before now. She always believed the depth of her love made up for Will’s absence.

That night, after they put Liam to bed, Julia takes Will’s hand in hers and says she needs to speak with him. Her hands have turned to ice, and she’s shaking when she asks Will to sit beside her on her bed.

Then, closing her eyes, she steels herself for the worst possible outcome. He could storm out of here and never want to see her again. She knows he’ll stay in Liam’s life, but he might not want Julia in his.

“Will, I don’t know how to say this,” she pauses, tears filling her eyes, and looks down at her hands. “It’s about Liam…”

“Julia, I already know.”

“You do?” she whispers.
What does he think he knows?
Will nods, and kisses her hand.

“Liam’s my son.”

Her eyes grow wide and her mouth drops.
How long has he known?
Lightheaded and nauseous, she clutches her stomach and lies back on the bed.
He knows and he’s still here!
A tidal wave of relief surges through her body. Will lies beside her, their fingers intertwined.

“Was it Ellie?” she asks in a hushed voice.

“No,” he shakes his head. “It was Liam.”

“What?” Confusion spreads across her face.
Liam doesn’t know Will’s his father!

“Jules, Liam’s five. A woman at the park asked me his age yesterday. I said four and Liam corrected me. He turned five in August.”

She searches his face. No anger. Nothing but love.

“You don’t hate me?” her voice is soft.

“No, Jules. I love you. I love Liam. I feel like an idiot. How could I not see it?”

“I’m so sorry I lied to you.” Tears roll down her face. “That I didn’t tell you sooner…I didn’t want you to feel obligated to us. I wanted to make sure Avery was out of the picture. I know that doesn’t make it right, Will. I am so, so sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing at the time…you had just gotten married…”

“Shhh. Jules, I understand.” He wraps his arms around her, “Listen to me Julia. I really do understand why you didn’t tell me. Of course I’m upset, but I don’t blame you. I was a mess back then, a disaster. If I had known before I married Avery…I probably wouldn’t have gone through with it, but I would’ve been so guilt ridden…” he pauses, shaking his head.

“If I had found out after the wedding? That scenario is even worse. I don’t think our relationship would have survived under either of those circumstances. You would’ve grown to hate me. Everything is different now, baby. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, for either of you. And Julia, I am so sorry I left you alone in Verona. I’m sorry I didn’t fight for you, for us. I’m so thankful to have you and Liam in my life. You two mean everything to me.

The following morning, Liam runs into their bedroom in his baseball pajamas, and dives under the covers, snuggling up to Will and Julia. When they’re fully awake, they tell Liam the truth, together.

“Sweetie, do you remember when you asked me if Will was going to be your daddy?” Liam nods and smiles. “I know this might be confusing, but Will is your daddy sweetheart. He always has been.”

“You’ve always been my daddy?” He turns to Will, his face scrunched up, confused. Will’s too choked up to speak, and just nods. Liam looks down at his hands, his face sad, “How come you never came to see me before?”

Will turns to her, tears in his eyes, then lifts Liam onto his lap.

“It’s a long story big guy. I didn’t know where you were. But now I do, and I’ll always be here with you.”

“Promise?” Liam places his little hand on Will’s cheek.

“Promise.” Will wraps his arms around him, his voice ragged. A moment later Liam pulls away and smiles at Will.

“Will…can I call you Daddy?” Liam asks, tentatively.

That sends Will over the edge, and the tears spill onto his cheek.

“I’d really like that.”

Chapter Twenty-Four

“Mom? Dad?” Will calls out as he enters their house. Peter’s memorial is being held tomorrow morning and he hopes they’re strong enough to make it through the service. They’ve been in deep mourning since Will returned from New York, but today, he finds his mother in the kitchen, making a cup of tea and kisses her cheek. She’s showered and dressed, which is more than she’s done in the past two weeks, and her face has some color, it’s not ghostly white.

“Where’s Dad?”

“He’s sitting on the patio.” She points outside.

What a relief
. His father’s obsessed with the search for the terrorists responsible for the attacks. This is the first time his father’s been out of the house to Will’s knowledge.

“Mom, I need to talk to you and Dad.” She turns to him, fear in her eyes. “Mom, everyone is fine.” She exhales and lifts her cup of tea.

“Let’s join your father outside. It’s a beautiful day.”

His father is on the lounge chair, his eyes closed.

“Dad?”

“Hello, Will. The sun feels good, don’t you think?”

He loves his parents. They’ve been through so much and he’d do just about anything to save them from more heartache. Anything…
but stay married to Avery
.

“Mom, Dad…” He takes a deep breath, “I have something to tell you.”

His father nods, indicates for him to take a seat. His mother stands beside him, her hand resting on his father’s shoulder.

Will clasps his hands together, takes a deep breath, and decides to rip the bandage off the wound. “I’m getting a divorce.”

His mother’s eyes grow wide and his father sighs, leans forward and takes Will’s hand between his own.

“I’m surprised you’ve stayed with her this long.”

Will’s completely taken aback. Is his father saying they’ve been expecting this?

But…Kennedys don’t get divorced!
That’s been drilled into his head since he was a kid. Once you’re married, you stay married. Marry in haste, repent at leisure, the list of clichés goes on and on. He gapes at his father, then turns to his mother.

“Will, we’re not blind. We know how unhappy you’ve been these past few years. You two aren’t suited for each other, that’s very clear to us. Maybe we should have said something to you sooner, we’ve been so worried about you, but we figured you’d talk to us when you were ready.”

“Sweetheart, you’re a grown man.” His mother takes a seat beside him, her eyes filling with tears. “You have to do what makes you happy. Life is so short…”

“I thought I’d disappoint you if I left her.” He whispers, trying to hold back the tears.

“Marriage is difficult, Will.” His father sighs, “I’ve made mistakes along the way, but I’ve always loved your mother. That’s what keeps us together. Not our children, not the money. We have a foundation built on mutual love and respect. That’s what we want for you. That’s what we’ve always wanted for our children.”

Will wipes away his tears and stands, looking out at the harbor.
How could I have been so wrong about my parents?
He didn’t give them enough credit. Of course they want their children to be happy. That’s what he wants for his own son.

His father rises and places his hand on Will’s shoulder.

“I know I’ve been hard on you in the past. Maybe pushed you too hard when it came to your career and for that I’m so sorry. We’ve always been proud of you, son. Your happiness is all that matters to us. You have to live your life on your own terms. Don’t waste it trying to be someone you’re not.”

“Thank you, Dad.” He embraces his father, accepting the absolution he’s always sought, but realizes he no longer needs. Still, he’s filled with gratitude and relief.

The worst is over. Now, he has to tell them about Liam and Julia.

“I have something else to tell you.” They all take a seat around the table. “Do you remember Julia Grasso?”

“Of course,” his father says.

“Oh, she was a delightful girl,” his mother smiles. “Whatever happened to her?”

“Well…”

Will explains what happened between them, how Avery deceived them both, breaking them up in the process.

“I saw Julia in Italy… and…” He blushes and looks down at his hands with a shy grin.

“We get the picture Will.” His father chuckles, “Why are you telling us this?”

“Julia had a baby.” He takes a deep breath and sits upright in his chair, “I have a son.”

His mother gasps, holding her hands to her chest.

“How long have you known?” His father sits back, his eyes narrowing.

“I found out a few days ago.”

His father’s brows draw together, his eyes sad.

“Mom, Dad, do you believe in fate?” They both nod their heads. “I’ve loved Julia since the day I met her. Not a single day has passed that I haven’t thought of her. We’ve had some major roadblocks, but something always brings us back together. Time, distance, none of that matters when it comes to Julia. When I saw her again on September 11th…” he shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders, “I just knew. Nothing else mattered. We’re meant to be together. I’m never letting her go again. And I’m not missing another day of my son’s life.”

His mother’s eyes fill with tears. “I have another grandson! When can I meet him?”

They knew there’d be a lot of people at Peter’s memorial service, but because of the national spotlight shining on the circumstances of his death, it’s turned into something of a media circus. The press isn’t allowed in the church, but several news crews are set up outside.

Will surveys the scene as he escorts his parents and Sloane up the steps of the church. Vans with satellite dishes are parked along High Street, reporters speaking into microphones, some interviewing people, others talking directly into the lens of the camera. Photographers are everywhere, their flashes blinding them as they make their way into the church.

The press didn’t attempt to interview family, even they knew that would be crossing the line, but they captured their every move on film, from the moment they exited the car until the church doors closed behind them.

Julia was right not to come to the service. Avery is here, sitting in the pew behind the family. He can’t stop her from attending this service, but if she says one word to his parents or Sloane, he’ll throw her out himself, in front of the television cameras.

Will and Kevin are both gripping Ellie’s hands, physically restraining her. When she first saw Avery sitting in the church, he thought his sister was going to leap over the pew and attack her.

He told her to ignore Avery, but Ellie’s been shooting her the fiercest looks throughout the service, and when it was time to shake hands in peace with the people surrounding them, his family embraced each other, ignoring Avery.

Not Ellie, though.

He held his breath when she turned and grasped Avery’s hand and whispered, “I hope you rot in hell.” His sister’s not messing around. Avery wisely remained silent and left the church as soon as mass ended.

Throughout the service, Sloane is composed, even peaceful. Ellie brought her to the obstetrician yesterday and she’s officially in her second trimester, the furthest she’s ever carried a child. The doctor appointment put her mind at ease, and she feels Peter is with her, protecting their child.

After the service, his parents invited family members to join them at home. Once the majority of mourners have gone, Julia arrives with Liam and his niece and nephews. Ellie’s kids tear through the house, but Julia and Liam linger in the entryway.

Will catches her eye and crosses the room to greet them, lifting Liam into his arms, and wrapping his arm around Julia. She’s nervous about seeing his parents. She’s afraid they’ll be upset with her for keeping Liam from him. He’s reassured her that’s not the case, but he can tell she’s still fearful.

He kisses her cheek and smiles reassuringly as he leads them to the backyard where his parents are waiting.

His father stands as they walk onto the patio, and his eyes grow wide as they approach the table. His mother is sitting and her mouth drops open when her eyes alight on Liam’s face.

“Liam, these are my parents, your Grandma and Grandpa.” Liam’s head is down and he looks at them through his long eyelashes.

“Nice to meet you.” He holds out his little hand.

“I’m so happy to meet you Liam.” His father’s face breaks into a big grin as he shakes his grandson’s hand.

His mother slowly rises, her eyes fixed on Liam, and walks toward them. She places her hands on his son’s face and Liam smiles.

“Hello Liam, can I have a hug?” she asks, and he nods, wrapping his arms around her. “Oh my goodness. You look just like your daddy when he was a boy!” She kisses him and squeezes Will’s hand.

Ryan, Aidan and Caitlin join them on the patio.

“Come on Liam, let’s go!” Ryan says, pulling at his cousin’s shirt.

“Can I go play?” Liam asks.

“Of course you can.” Will ruffles his hair.

The children run to the swing set his parents installed for them a couple of years ago. His parents embrace Julia and they all take a seat around the table.

“Julia. It’s so wonderful to see you again! I feel like I just stepped back in time…Liam looks just like Will!” his mother exclaims.

“I’ve always thought so,” Julia says and looks down, tightly grasping his hand.

“Will explained the circumstances to us,” his father says. “Of course we wish things had been different, but…we understand you were in a difficult situation, and we want you to know how happy we are to welcome you and Liam into our family.”

“Julia,” his mother smiles, “I haven’t seen my son happy in many years, and despite the loss of our Peter, we’re thrilled to meet our grandson, and couldn’t be more delighted about you two finding each other again.”

Julia closes her eyes and sighs, her face breaking into a smile.