What the Heart Desires (Contemporary Erotic Romance) (18 page)

Garrett shrugged.  “Haven’t been dating,” he said simply. 

“Is it because
you still hate the idea of relationships with a passion?”

He hesitated.  “Not really,” he admitted.  “In retrospect, that was a stupid excuse.  Relationships aren’t inherently evil, I guess. 
I just didn’t want to get hurt.”

“What changed?”

Garrett gave Kimberly a wry smile.  “Trying not to get hurt ended up hurting like hell.”  He ran a hand through his unruly dark hair and quickly changed the subject.  “Anyway, here’s the office…and over here is the master bedroom.” 

The sexual tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife.  As Kimberly stood there in the master bedroom beside
Garrett, she wondered if he could feel it too.  She wanted him to throw her down on the bed.  She wanted him to rip off her clothes, bite her neck and grind his hips slowly and sensuously against hers.

Instead, she took a step away from him.  “It’s nice,” she said, maintaining a safe distance.  “Is that a walk-in closet?  Oh, I’m so jealous!”

~~~

Kimberly left
Garrett’s house feeling both triumphant and melancholic.  They were making baby steps.  He’d invited her over.  He’d opened up to her.  He’d called her Kimmy.  The ghosts of what used to be still lingered.  But they weren’t making progress fast enough.  The snail’s pace was frustrating and it made her doubt everything.

She knew what
she
was feeling, but what about Garrett?

Was he back in the picture because he had feelings for her or simply because he lived a lonely life of solitude and she was one of the few friends he had? 

Doubt is a terrible, destructive thing. 

When he didn’t call her, Kimberly began to worry. 
Then her worry gave way to anger.  It was so like Garrett to leave her hanging once again.  She’d been so eager to believe he’d changed, but maybe nothing was different at all. 

“Just call him!” Jane urged during one of their long distance gossip sessions.  “This isn’t 1950 and you don’t have to wait for him to make the first move.  If you want to talk to him,
then call him
!”  It was ironic that somehow, at some point,
Jane
of all people had become the voice of reason. 

And so, Kimberly called
Garrett.

He didn’t pick up.

She didn’t leave a message as she knew he’d see her number and know she’d tried to reach him.  She was done groveling and through with feeling pathetic. 

He didn’t return her call.

She couldn’t deny her feelings for Garrett, but she also couldn’t ignore his innate ability to get under her skin and to make her feel like an imbecile.  Maybe it was time for her to get over him once and for all.

It wouldn’t be easy, but Kimberly was determined to get
Garrett out of her system.  She recalled the way she’d once thought of him as cocaine and herself as an addict.  “Cocaine
kills
people,” she hissed as she deleted his name and number from her phone. 

Then she called Jane.

“Tell me everything you know about singles nights at the bar,” Kimberly demanded.  “I’m ready to give dating another try.”

~~~

Several days went by.  It was Saturday night.  Kimberly was all dolled up in a pretty grey dress with just a hint of glitter in the elegant material.  She was on her way to a speed dating event at a local bar when a text lit up her phone. 

It read “At hospital – car accident.”

The text came from an unknown number, but she’d recognize that number any day.  After all, she’d dialed it countless times only to hang up.  It was Garrett’s.

Kimberly leaned forward toward the cab driver.  “Uh, actually?” she said, “Forget about the bar.  Can you take me to Memorial General Hospital, please?”

Somehow, Kimberly found her way to
Garrett’s hospital room.  She wasn’t sure how; it felt like she was walking in a daze.  She wasn’t sure what to expect but was hoping to find him sitting on a gurney with nothing more than a sprained ankle, his familiar, easy-going grin lighting up his face.

That wasn’t what she found.

He was bandaged and bruised.  There were tubes everywhere and machines beeping.  His face had a number of small cuts on it.  Kimberly felt her breath catch in her throat as her hands clenched at her sides.

She approached him cautiously. 
His eyes were closed.  Had it not been for the shallow breaths causing his bandaged chest to rise and fall ever so slightly, she may have jumped to an inconceivable, unbearable conclusion.

As she neared,
Garrett seemed to sense her presence and opened his eyes, squinting lightly against the overhead fluorescent lighting.

“Hi,” he croaked.  His voice was raspy and hoarse.  He sounded – and looked –
like he’d been through a war.

“
Garrett –” Kimberly managed to choke out before she was overwhelmed by emotion.  Her voice failed her.  All she could do was stare at him with what she was sure was an expression of horror.

“It’s not as bad as it looks.” 
Garrett was trying to reassure her, but it was quite obvious that even speaking was an effort for him.  “Broken legs, bruised ribs, head injuries…it will all heal.  I’m already in better shape than I was a few days ago.  I was so high on painkillers I doubt I even knew my own name then.”

She breathed a sigh of relief when she heard that he’d be okay.  Even so, his injuries sounded and looked awful.  “What happened?” she finally managed to ask as she blinked back tears.

“One minute I was crossing the street and the next I was up on some asshole’s windshield,” he muttered weakly before shutting his eyes again.  And then he was out.  Kimberly knew it was just the pain medication that was making Garrett groggy, but it still worried her. 

She pulled a chair up to his bedside and sat down, deciding right then and there that she’d wait as long as it took.

~~~

“You seriously don’t need to do this,”
Garrett said to Kimberly for the third time as a nurse pushed his wheelchair down the long hospital hallway.

“I know,” Kimberly reassured him yet again.  “I want to do it.” 

Garrett was finally well enough to be discharged.  Kimberly had diligently sat by his bedside, leaving only to go to work and run home for a quick shower, nap and change of clothes.  Sometimes he’d just slept but she’d stayed anyway.  She felt better being able to watch him breathe.

She was relieved he was finally getting out of the hospital.  The care he’d gotten had been good – Kimberly had seen to that – but it was still a dreadful place to be.  The hallways constantly smelled of antiseptic and the wallpaper was a nauseating pale puke green.  She just knew he’d heal faster in the comfort of his own home.

When she’d learned he’d soon be going home, Kimberly had made a desperate plea to her boss.  She’d asked for a leave from work for compassionate reasons.  She knew that her grounds weren’t strong.  After all, Garrett wasn’t next-of-kin.  Technically he wasn’t even her boyfriend.

Thankfully, Kimberly’s boss was a kind, understanding guy.  It probably hadn’t hurt that tears had welled up in Kimberly’s eyes as soon as
Garrett’s name passed her lips.  She hadn’t planned it.  Manipulation wasn’t her intent.  It was just that she was emotionally drained and physically exhausted.  Balancing work and Garrett was too much to handle and in her heart, Kimberly knew what took priority.

Her boss agreed that she needed some time, both to concentrate on
Garrett and to recharge her batteries.  Unfortunately, the company couldn’t afford to pay her a salary if she wasn’t working.  What they could do was guarantee that she’d have a job to come back to once she was ready. 

Kimberly was grateful for that. 

“Seriously,” Garrett said again, “I can’t make you play nurse…even though that
is
a sexy thought.”

Kimberly smiled.  His dirty sense of humor had returned.  His stubbornness had returned.  He was going to be just fine once his broken bones healed up.

“You’re not making me do anything,” she replied.

“Wouldn’t you rather I just hire a nurse?” he asked as they arrived at the front doors of the hospital and the nurse put the brake on his wheelchair and walked away. 

Kimberly walked to the front of his wheelchair and crouched down in front of him so she could look him in the eye.  “I know you,” she said.  “Admit it: having a stranger in your house would drive you crazy.  You’d be so paranoid and uncomfortable you probably wouldn’t even get any rest.  Tell me I’m wrong,” she challenged him.

“You’re not wrong,” he relented.  “Damn you for knowing me so well.”  He thought for a moment.  “What will you do about your job?”

“It’s taken care of.”

“Well I’ll pay you to stay with me,” he said firmly.

“That’s not necessary,” she protested.  Given the feelings she harbored for Garrett, the idea of being paid to look after him made her feel somewhat like a hooker.  Still, she had to admit, it would be difficult to make ends meet without any income.

“It’s not up for debate,”
he informed her. 

Kimberly had never been a caregiver to anyone before, aside from babysitting some neighbor kids when she was a teenager.  This was different.  Her patient was strong-willed and defiant, but not able-bodied.  This caused him all sorts of frustration which sometimes, he inadvertently took out on her.

She had to watch him like a hawk because he tried to take more pain medication at a time than was prescribed.  At first Kimberly was annoyed, scolding him for failing to follow the doctor’s orders and warning him that if he kept it up, he’d run out before the next refill.  Once, in a fit of anger, she even told him that he was exhibiting addiction tendencies. 

That struck a chord, given Garrett’s painful past.  He’d clammed up immediately, staring straight ahead and refusing to look at her.  He hadn’t spoken to or acknowledged her for a day and a half.  She felt bad about it, realizing almost immediately that it had been a low blow.

But it was only when she realized how much pain
Garrett was in that Kimberly truly changed her tune.  Maybe he was being a stereotypical macho guy and didn’t want to admit his discomfort to her.  But the more likely explanation was that he didn’t want to worry her.

Once Kimberly understood how badly
Garrett’s ribs and legs ached, she did what she could to bring him comfort.  She consulted the Internet, a health hotline and the nurses at the hospital.  Then, acting on the advice she’d received, she prepared both cool and warm compresses.

Undressing
Garrett was a strange experience.  The only times she’d ever seen him naked were during their kinky hotel room romps, which felt like it had been millenniums ago.  Now, her care was completely professional.  She tried not to stare at his near-nude form as she carefully applied the compresses to his bare skin.

The almost instantaneous relief she was on his face was gratifying.

In some ways, caring for Garrett as he recovered from his injuries was more intimate than the sex had ever been.  Their BDSM play had been a funny thing.  It had required Kimberly to be completely vulnerable and at Garrett’s mercy, but there had never been any reciprocation. 

It wasn’t that she was interested in sexually dominating
Garrett – she definitely wasn’t and she couldn’t imagine him being into that either.  It was just that aside from that brief glimpse into his soul when he’d spoke of his childhood, Garrett had never allowed himself to be vulnerable.

Now, he was wholly dependent on Kimberly as he healed.
 

The distance between them no longer felt quite as vast.

~~~

“I can manage myself!” 

Garrett and Kimberly stood in the master bathroom of his mansion.  He was clad in a grey silk robe and stood unsteadily, clutching the bathroom sink for support.  He’d recently had the casts removed from his legs and was doing well, although he still experienced some muscle weakness.  The doctor assured Kimberly that it would correct itself over time.

“I know,” Kimberly said, “but I don’t know why you’re insisting you have to have a bath.  What if you slip?  What if you can’t get out?  Can’t you just have a shower?”

With a mischievous grin, Garrett grabbed a hand towel and playfully swatted Kimberly with it.  “Are you sure you’re not making such a fuss because you want to see me naked?” he teased, vulgar as ever.

Kimberly’s first reaction was to be mortified, probably because deep down, on some level, she
did. 
Her sexy dreams about Garrett never had stopped.  In fact, she’d had one the previous night as she’d slept in the guest room across the hall from the master bedroom.  The memory of it made her blush.

“I’m only trying to help,” she finally said, sounding mildly offended.

“Aw, I know you are,” Garrett assured her, leaning over to give her a gentle if not somewhat patronizing kiss on the forehead.  “And I appreciate everything you’ve done and are doing for me.  But I need to get my independence back at some point, Kimmy.  Why don’t you go put your feet up and take a break?”