What the Heart Knows (5 page)

“Dad likes you,” the young girl finally said.

“I like your father. He's a good friend.” The words sounded empty even to her own ears, as though she wished there was much more to the relationship than friendship. She scoffed at that notion. Neither wanted anything but friendship.

“I'm gonna wear my new dress tomorrow to church. Candy says I don't know how to pick out pretty clothes. I'll show her.”

“You'll knock their socks off with that dress.”

“Maybe you could help me pick out another one for school.”

Surprised at the request, Kathleen said, “Sure, when you get ready to go back in August, I can go with you if your dad says it's okay.”

“He will. He likes you.”

They were back to that again. Kathleen searched for something other than she and Jared to discuss.

“You're so much easier to talk to than Mrs. Davis,” Hannah said before Kathleen could come up with another topic.

“How long has Mrs. Davis been your house
keeper?” Okay, this subject was a start in the right direction.

“Three years. Mom needed help, so Dad hired Mrs. Davis. She's okay. She cooks real good, but I bet you cook better. She won't let me help her in the kitchen.”

“Next week I'm going to be making dozens of cookies for the church bake sale. Maybe you could help me.”

Hannah stopped. “I can?”

“If it's okay with your—”

“Dad likes you. It'll be okay.”

Kathleen clamped her lips together to keep from moaning.

“When?”

“Tuesday afternoon.”

“Can we make some peanut butter cookies? They're my favorite.”

“Sure. I was going to bake several different kinds. Peanut butter will be one.”

“And chocolate chip?”

Kathleen nodded, the young girl's eagerness catching.

“Sugar, too?”

“That sounds fine.”

The rest of the hike up the trail to the lake nestled between two mountains was filled with Hannah talking about her favorite foods. By the time Kathleen reached their destination, her stomach rumbled with hunger, and she was ready to delve into the sacks and eat lunch an hour early. She leaned back against a tree trunk and surveyed the teenagers as they
plopped their backpacks on the ground, then headed for the water.

“I almost came to rescue you.”

Kathleen gasped, so intent on watching Mark standing off by himself that she hadn't heard Jared approach. “Rescue me?”

“From my daughter. When she gets going, she can talk a person's ear off.”

“I have to admit I'm starved now. She went from describing her favorite pizza to her favorite dessert. I think she likes ice cream and caramel about as much as I do. I could almost taste the hot caramel double dip sundae she told me was her favorite dessert. Where's the nearest store?”

His chuckle rippled down her length. “That's Hannah. I don't know how she keeps the weight off.”

“Metabolism.”

“That and the fact she can out-play most boys in soccer and baseball.”

“She wants to help me bake cookies Tuesday. Is that all right?”

Jared's expression brightened, his eyes sparkling like the lake water with the sun glinting off its surface. “I don't want her to be a bother.”

“She isn't. I asked her first. I could use the help since I'm going to make five or six dozen cookies.”

“Do you need a tester? I'm quite good at that job.” Jared's gaze roamed over the teenagers, some at the lake checking the temperature of the water, a few getting their fishing rods ready, others spreading their towels out to sunbathe.

“I bet you are, but the cookies are for the church bake sale so we'll need some left to sell. By the way what's for lunch?”

“Ham or turkey sandwiches, chips, apples and guess what?”

“Cookies.”

“You got it. The easiest dessert to transport.”

Kathleen's gaze found her son among the kids. Alone, he sat on a boulder by the lake and pitched rocks into the water. He wore a long-sleeved black shirt and black jeans. She felt hot just looking at the boy with the sun beating down on him.

“After lunch I'm going to organize a soccer game.”

Jared's announcement focused her attention on him. “Oh, no. Not another sport. I hope you aren't going to expect me to play. My shoulder is stiffening up as we speak.”

“I learned my lesson last time. You can be a spectator.”

Kathleen released a long, exaggerated sigh. “Good. The hospital is awfully far away. Speaking of lunch—”

“We were?”

“Back a few sentences. When are we gonna eat? I worked up an appetite with all that hiking.”

Jared checked his watch. “It's not even ten-thirty yet.”

“Time has never played a factor in my eating habits.”

“Can you wait a while longer? Give the kids time to fish, sunbathe, do some exploring.”

Kathleen dug into her backpack. “Luckily I brought an energy bar.” With a flourish she produced it. “Want some? I can half it.”

“I ate breakfast before I left home.”

“So did I. Of course, I only ate part of what I prepared. By the time I got Mark up and getting ready, the eggs had grown cold. I tossed those out. But I was able to finish the toast and orange juice.”

“Mark gave you trouble about coming?”

“Actually not too much. I thought he would bring his sketching pad, but I guess he didn't.”

Kathleen searched the shoreline for her son. He still sat on the boulder, his arms clasping his raised legs, his head on his knees. He stared at the water as though he were in a trance. Shane called out to him to join him, but Mark ignored his cousin.

“Maybe I can get him interested in the soccer game.”

“Maybe. He used to play a lot until a few years ago. He was very good at defense.”

Suddenly, Mark surged to his feet and clambered down from the boulder. With a quick scan of the area, her son headed for a grove of trees a few hundred feet from them. He was avoiding the other teenagers and going off by himself. She'd thought when her son had agreed to come that he would participate in the activities with the others. Kathleen started forward, worry weaving through her.

Jared stopped her with a hand on her arm. “Let me talk to him. We haven't had much time to get to know each other. I'll give him a few minutes then
head that way. By the time we return, we can start laying out lunch.”

Biting her thumbnail, she watched Mark disappear into the shade of the trees. Part of her was relieved someone else was here to help her. But then her guilt erased the relief. She should be able to handle the situation with Mark. Until a year ago their relationship had been a good, solid one. Suddenly she felt so alone.

“Let me help, Kathleen. I owe you one. Besides, isn't that what friends are for? To help each other? I think I remember you saying something like that.”

Jared's words reminded her she wasn't alone, that this man beside her might be the answer to her son's troubles, and no matter how much she wanted to deal with her son's problems all by herself, she knew when to ask for help. “Please. Maybe you can get through to him.”

Jared took her hands and held them for a few seconds while his gaze delved deep into hers. A connection arced between them as though they were tied together by some invisible rope. Then, without a word, he headed toward the grove of trees. Kathleen linked her trembling fingers together as though she was praying. Yet no words came to mind. She'd forgotten how to ask God for help, wasn't sure if He would even listen to her now.

 

“I won't do it! Leave me alone!”

Mark's plea echoed through the dense trees and propelled Jared to a quicker pace. He scanned the
dark shadows looking for the boy, but he wasn't sure which way Mark had gone.

“Go away!”

The shout, almost to a hysterical level, urged Jared to the left and deeper into the trees. His heart pounded against his chest, matching the sound of his tennis shoes pounding against the hard-packed dirt.

Who was bothering Mark? Someone in the youth group? Questions raced through Jared's mind as he raced toward Kathleen's son. He should have come sooner—not talked with Kathleen for a few extra minutes.

Pushing through some thick underbrush, Jared paused to listen for any more sounds. All that greeted him were birds chirping in the treetops and a scurrying noise behind him. Nothing else. Squinting, he searched the shady expanse before him. Finally slumped against a large elm, curled into a tight ball, he saw Mark.

Jared tore through the forest, ignoring a branch as it slapped against his chest. An eternity later he squatted in front of the teenager, his breathing coming in gasps.

“Mark, are you all right? Did someone hurt you?”

The boy remained still, only a slight tensing of the shoulders indicating that Mark might have heard him.

“Mark,” Jared said more urgently.

Kathleen's son seemed to shrink into a tighter ball.

Jared's concern escalated. He laid his hand on Mark's shoulder and shook him gently. “Please let me help you.”

Mark unfurled his lanky body and raised his head
to spear him with half-closed eyes. “Dr. Matthews, why are you here?”

“I heard you yelling at someone. I thought maybe you were in trouble.”

Mark shoved to his feet, nearly sending Jared backward. He stood, too, noting the boy's disheveled appearance; he looked almost as if he had wrestled with someone on the ground. Again Jared wondered who had been bothering Mark in the woods.

“Who were you talking to?”

Mark turned away. “No one.”

“If you're having a problem with someone, maybe I can help.”

“Everything's fine.”

“Are you—”

“I'm hungry. When's lunch?” Mark started back toward the lake, not looking around to see if Jared followed him.

Jared let Mark go, giving him some space. He peered into the trees around him and saw no one else. Yet the boy was keeping something from him. So often teenagers think they can solve their problems alone, he thought, finally heading back toward the others. Jared made sure he kept Mark in sight at all times. It was obvious the boy had had a run-in with someone.

When Jared emerged into the sunlight, the lake only a hundred feet away, Mark was back with the others, off to the side, observing Aaron reeling in a fish. The coolness of the forest vanished to be replaced with a warmth that should have made him feel better. He didn't. Mark was a deeply troubled teen.
Was it because of his father's untimely death or something else? Was he taking drugs? Or was he ill?

Kathleen strode toward him, her short auburn hair reflecting the rays of the sun, the look in her dark-brown eyes troubled. The worry etched into her features only reinforced his own concern. He wanted to help her. In the brief time he'd known her that had become important to him. Maybe if he helped her, he would feel he had atoned for not being there for Alice. Whatever the reason, Kathleen and her son were part of his life now, and he intended to discover what was wrong with Mark, then correct it.

“I
thought you were gonna be here a half hour ago.” Laura stood to the side to allow Kathleen and Mark into her house.

Kathleen slid a glance toward her son. “It took longer to get ready than I anticipated.”

“Everyone's out back, Mark,” Laura said as she shut the front door.

Kathleen's son mumbled something, then, with shoulders slouched, ambled toward the kitchen. Even though the temperature promised to be in the high eighties, Mark wore black cutoff jeans and a black sweatshirt.

“He isn't swimming?” Laura whispered.

Kathleen shook her head and waited until her son disappeared into the kitchen before continuing, “He said he didn't feel like it.”

“Remember when we couldn't get him out of a pool?”

“Yes,” Kathleen murmured, thinking back to only two summers ago before her life had whirled out of control.

“Well, sometimes there's no second-guessing teenagers. Shane announced this morning at breakfast he had a date later this evening with a new girl in town. This is the first time he's shown any interest in the female population of Crystal Springs.”

“That's pretty normal for a sixteen-year-old.”

Laura started toward the kitchen, tossing over her shoulder, “Yeah, but think of all the worrying I'll be doing.”

She would love to have that kind of worrying, Kathleen thought. Instead, she had to worry about whether her son was getting mixed up in something bad, like drugs. She had read up on the subject this week, hoping to educate herself in case that was the problem. But for some reason that didn't feel right.

In the kitchen, the sounds of laughter and children's loud voices came from the backyard. “My gosh, who do you have out there? The whole neighborhood?” Kathleen peeked out the window overlooking the patio and pool. Hannah ran by with Terry chasing her. Then she heard Jared's deep voice calling to them to slow down. “Laura, I thought this was going to be just the family.” She faced her sister who couldn't hide the guilty expression fast enough. “What are you up to?”

“Nothing.”

“You didn't tell me Jared and his family were going to be here.”

“Does that make a difference?” Laura whirled
about and fidgeted with the vegetable tray, rearranging the carrot and celery sticks.

“I'm not interested in dating anyone.”

“Did I say you were?” Laura straightened the carrots again.

“I know your tactics. Don't forget I grew up with you.”

Laura put the last carrot down on the pile and turned. “Okay. I invited him because I think it would be wonderful if you two dated and got to know each other. He's lonely. You're lonely. His kids need a mother. Mark needs a man around.”

Her sister's declaration made Kathleen's face blush. “Bad timing. I don't think he's looking and I'm certainly not. I was lucky to have such a wonderful marriage with John. A lot of people don't get even one good marriage.”

“Like Jared? It was common knowledge the last few years of their marriage she was drinking a lot. That had to be hard on him even though he wouldn't talk about it.”

“That's my point exactly. Neither one of us is looking for a relationship.”

“You don't think you can be that happy a second time around?”

Kathleen narrowed her eyes on her sister. “Don't play matchmaker. I have more than I can handle right now.” She glanced out the window. “Are Mom and Dad here?”

“Couldn't come. Dad is playing golf and Mom is working at the church. Next time I'll have to give them more notice than twenty-four hours.” Laura
hoisted the tray and headed for the back door. “So it's only us, you and Jared's family. Not the whole neighborhood even if it sounds like it.”

When her sister opened the door, the sounds of giggling and splashing drifted in, inviting Kathleen to join the fun. “Can I take anything out for you?”

“Nope. Everything else is on the patio table.”

The second Kathleen stepped outside she felt Jared's gaze on her. His smile of greeting shot through her and curled her toes. The laugh lines that fanned out from the corners of his eyes spoke of a man who enjoyed smiling. The intensity in his gaze also underscored a man who could be very determined in what he wanted. Kathleen tore her regard from him and surveyed the commotion in the backyard. Every kid was in the pool except Mark who sat in a chair at the far end of the patio listening to CDs with his headphones on. His face glistened with sweat, but he remained clothed in the heavy black sweatshirt and black cutoff jeans.

“It's nice to see you, Kathleen,” Jared said, approaching her, water dripping off his dark brown hair and running down his chest. He took a towel and dried himself. “Would you believe I haven't been in the pool? This is from all the splashing and carrying on.”

Kathleen watched a water fight among Terry, Hannah and Chad, Laura's youngest. “They are a bit enthusiastic.”

“A bit?” Jared quirked one brow. “I wish I had a tenth of their energy.”

“I know what you mean. The things I could accomplish if I did.”

“From what I've seen, you've accomplished quite a bit in a short time. Anyone who can have their house straight and in order in two weeks is amazing. I'm impressed. And on top of that you've taken my daughter under your wing.” Jared looked her right in the eye and said, “You were heaven sent. An answer to my prayers.”

The intensity in his regard snared her, holding her captive. Vaguely she heard the children in the pool, her sister and brother-in-law Brad talking, but none of it mattered.

Someone behind her cleared his throat then coughed, breaking the connection between her and Jared. She glanced over her shoulder and saw Brad grinning.

“Sorry. Something went down the wrong way,” her brother-in-law said. “I'm gonna put the hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill. I'm taking orders now.”

“A hamburger,” Kathleen and Jared said at the same time.

Kathleen laughed. “I guess great minds think alike.”

“Do you need any help?” Jared asked, tossing his towel onto the chaise lounge nearby. He retrieved a T-shirt and slipped it over his head.

“No, I think I can manage. You two enjoy yourselves.” Still grinning as though he knew something no one else knew, Brad strode to the pool and asked each child what they wanted to eat.

Now not only was her sister matchmaking, but it
appeared that her brother-in-law was in on it, too. Later she would have to have a word with both of them. She didn't need that kind of help.

“That leaves us to watch the children.” Jared took a seat on the end of the chaise lounge.

Kathleen sat in the glider, her gaze trained on the pool and the five children splashing and yelling.

“Mark doesn't want to swim?”

“No.”

“I guess he didn't realize that Aaron and Shane were going to be here.”

“I don't think that would have made a difference. He told me he didn't like to swim anymore.”

“Did he ever tell you who he was talking to in the woods?”

“He refused to discuss it with me. When I brought it up, he stomped from the room. Do you think someone is harassing him? Someone in the youth group?”

Jared leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs and lacing his fingers loosely together. “I hope not. I want to think no one in the group would, but he was quite upset that day. It's obvious something happened.”

“Kids can be intolerant of someone different and you have to admit that Mark hasn't gone out of his way to be friends with anyone.”

“They're good teens.”

Kathleen sighed. “I know. I can't see anyone in the youth group harassing Mark, either.”

“It's a mystery we may never solve. I'll ask around with some of the kids and see if they know anything.”

“There was a time when Mark would tell me everything. Not anymore.”

He straightened. “That's being a teenager. Nothing strange about that.”

“I know. I just want my old Mark back.”

“I would like to talk with a colleague about Mark, a psychiatrist I have a lot of faith in.”

“What do you think is wrong?” Alarm bolted through Kathleen.

He leaned closer. “Change is part of life, but I think something else is going on with Mark. It could be any number of things. We need to get Mark into see me or some other doctor. My friend may be able to help me with this.”

Kathleen took a deep breath, the scent of cooking hamburgers saturating the air. “Please do. If you think he can get Mark to agree to a physical that would be great.”

“Then I'll talk to him and get back with you.” Rising, Jared held out his hand for her. “Let's see if Brad or Laura need our help.”

“And give up our lifeguarding job?” She placed her hand in his, needing to lighten the mood.

“I think Shane and Aaron can handle the little ones.”

“Don't let Hannah hear you refer to her as a little one.”

“That's the truth. A boy called her the other day and it wasn't because he wanted her to play soccer or baseball. I heard her giggling on the phone.” He shook his head. “She wears a new dress to church,
and the next day she gets a call from a boy who wants just to talk to her on the phone.”

“Oh, that's nice.”

Jared's eyes widened. “Nice! Not in my book. I'm not ready for Hannah to like boys. She's only twelve.”

“Dr. Matthews, I've got a news flash for you. There is nothing you'll be able to do to stop it. Remember, change is part of life.”

“I should have known you would throw my words back in my face,” he said with a chuckle.

“At least you know I was listening.”

“True.” He started toward Brad and Laura, tugging Kathleen with him. “Come on. If we hurry, we can beat the kids to the food.”

 

“Is that the last of the dishes?” Kathleen asked, stacking plates beside the sink.

“Yeah.” Jared set the plates he held on the counter. “Brad and Laura are cleaning up the mess outside. I told them we would take care of the kitchen.”

“I put the movie on in the den and asked Mark to referee if things got out of hand. He didn't grumble too much.”

“I'm surprised. I would have. To be left with an eight-, an eleven-and a twelve-year-old can't be a teenage boy's dream of a fun evening.”

“We shouldn't be too long cleaning up in here, then we can go rescue him.”

Jared surveyed the dirty dishes. “Are you sure? Doesn't your sister believe in paper plates?”

“Laura never does things the easy way. She bought this set of dishes especially for outdoor parties.” Kathleen rinsed off a brightly flowered orange, yellow and blue plate and gave it to Jared to put in the dishwasher.

“Then I'm surprised she has a dishwasher. Makes life easier.”

“Laura does draw the line at some things.”

“Speaking of drawing, did you ever see what Mark has been drawing in his sketch pad?”

“Nothing but harmless pictures of the yard, house, a few animals.”

“I wish I had a talent to draw. I barely manage stick people.”

“Me, too. Mark got his talent from his dad. When creativity was being handed out, I was at the end of the line.”

“Your talents lie in other directions. Your organizational abilities are wonderful and those cookies Hannah brought home that you two baked were to die for.”

Kathleen inclined her head. “Thank you. I'm glad she could help me. We had fun that day.”

“I know. Hannah is still talking about it.”

“The ladies of the church decided to have another bake sale next month. I'll have to ask her to be my assistant again.”

Jared put the last platter into the dishwasher and closed it. “Now it's my turn to thank you.”

He was only a few inches away. His presence commanded her whole attention. He reached up and smoothed her hair behind her ear. Her throat clogged,
she swallowed hard. No words came to mind as she stared into his blue eyes, so like the water at the lake last weekend, warm, glittering, inviting.

“You don't have to do that. I enjoy Hannah's company,” Kathleen finally said, her voice husky.

He closed what little space was between them. “She's opened a bank account to save her money.”

Her heartbeat increased. “That's good.”

“She has several jobs lined up this week.” Jared slowly bent his head toward hers.

Acute awareness charged the atmosphere. Kathleen ran the tip of her tongue over her dry lips. “She's a great work—”

A scream rent the air.

“That's Hannah.” Jared spun about and raced toward the den.

Kathleen was on his heels as different scenarios zipped through her mind. The beat of her heart sped even faster. She burst into the den right behind Jared and came to a halt, nearly colliding into him. Her gaze riveted on her son standing before the busted television screen with blood dripping down his leg and onto the carpet. Mark stared at the gaping hole in the set, a dazed expression on his face. The three other children sat on the couch, their eyes wide, their mouths hanging open, huddled together.

“Take them into the kitchen. I'll see to Mark,” Jared said as he moved toward the teenager.

Shocked, Kathleen didn't react for a few seconds. The children's whimpering sounds urged her forward. She hurried to the couch and drew them into
her arms, hugging them to her. “Come on, let's go into the other room.”

“He—he kicked the TV in.” Hannah sniffed, tears running down her face. “I—I—don't know why. Everything was fine one minute, the next he—” The young girl trembled.

“Your dad will take care of Mark.”

Kathleen helped the children to their feet, sheltering them close to her body. She headed for the door, glancing over her shoulder as she left the room. Mark was seated now while Jared examined his leg. Quickly she ushered the children into the hallway, her thoughts numb as though this was happening to someone else and she was just a spectator.