What's Done In the Dark (23 page)

I wasn’t trying to get into a whose-affair-was-worse conversation. I just wanted my husband to forgive me.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I meant, I want you to find it in your heart to work through this.”

“So you’re saying you want me to just pretend none of this ever happened,” he continued. “You want me to act like I don’t know about your deception.”

“No,” I said softly. “I want you to forgive me, and I will spend every waking moment trying to make this up to you. But Liz and I need—“

“Don’t!” he said, interrupting me. “Don’t you dare bring our daughter into this! Because if you cared about our daughter at all, you would’ve picked up some random dude off the street before you picked up this man that we all loved and cared about. You betrayed us all!” He inhaled again. “I don’t know how I’m going to get over this.” He stood for a moment, then turned and looked at me. “But I’m willing to try.”

I wanted to jump from my seat and throw my arms around his neck, but I stood slowly. “Thank you, that’s all I can ask.”

“Have you told Paula?”
he asked.

“No.” I prayed he didn’t make telling her a condition of us staying together.

“Don’t,” he said. “She’s in enough pain, and she is finally managing to move forward. Your betrayal would only set her back.”

I wanted to dance a jig. I didn’t know if that was really why he didn’t want Paula to know, or if he didn’t want people talking about him for staying with me. I didn’t really care. I was just glad that he was staying.

“I promise, I’m going to spend my lifetime making this up to you.” I stepped toward him to lean in for a kiss. He spun around and walked away.

“I’m staying, but I’ll be sleeping in the guest room for now.”

I watched him round the corner, and then any joy I felt vanished when I heard him say, “Oh, no, Liz!”

I jumped from my seat and hurried over to where he stood, towering over my baby. She was sitting on the floor, crouched against the wall, her knees pulled up to her chest. Judging from the way she was shaking and the tears streaming down her face, she’d heard everything.

“Liz, baby, I’m so sorry,” I said, falling to the floor next to her.

I tried to take her in my arms, but she yanked herself away. “You had sex with Uncle Steven?”

I looked up at Greg, and any rage he’d managed to conquer had returned in full force. He charged out the door and left me to deal with our daughter alone.

48

Paula

“REMEMBER, I WANT THE PLAYLIST
to be clean and a lot of old-school nineties music,” I told the deejay. I’d spent the last hour tracking down DJ Xtreme, who I was told was one of the best deejays in Houston. I’d finally caught up with him and, after turning on the charm, convinced him to take this last-minute gig.

“Got it,” he replied. “We are all set.”

“Wonderful, so if you can be there about nine, that will be great,” I told him.

“Who should I send this invoice to?” he asked.

“To Party Wright Planning at gmail dot com,” I replied proudly.

“Cool, it’s on the way.”

I hung up the phone, feeling invigorated. In a matter of days, I’d confirmed a menu with the hotel, booked the deejay, secured decorations—shoot, planned a whole party. And I still had six days to spare.

“You sure are working hard,” my mom said, walking into
the den, where I’d set up shop. Eventually, I would take over Steven’s office, but I wasn’t ready to do that yet. Even though I’d packed up most of his stuff in the bedroom, clearing out his office seemed so final.

“Yeah, Mom, I am so loving this. I can’t believe I didn’t get into this earlier.”

“I can’t either,” my mom replied. “Now that I think about it, it’s a natural fit. Remember, you and Felise were chair and co-chair of the junior and senior prom?”

“Oh, yeah.” I laughed. “And I kept complaining because I was doing all the work while Felise was off somewhere goofing off.”

“Well, you have definitely found your calling.” My mom leaned in and looked at my computer screen. “Do you have a website already?”

“No, this is just the sample the web designer sent to me to approve.” I leaned back so she could get a good look. “You like it?”

She shrugged. “You know I don’t know anything about all that Internet stuff. But it looks nice to me.”

I loved the bright, sleek design. I’d spent twenty minutes on the phone with the web designer, Jeremy, telling him my vision, and he’d come back with the perfect design. “Yeah, I think so, too.” I handed her one of the invitations for Felise’s party, which was lying next to my computer. “Aren’t these cute?”

“Waste of paper if you ask me. Just call folks,” my mother said.

I shook my head at her. “Are you coming to the party? Rodney said we can bring the boys back over there.”

“Do I have to buy a gift?”

“No,” I chuckled. “I’ll write your name on my gift.”

My mom grinned widely as she headed out the door. “Then I’m in like Flynn.”

I shut my computer down and began cleaning up my desk. In addition to Felise’s party, I’d already booked a baby shower for my next-door neighbor, so I’d begun planning that as well.

“Hey, anybody home?”

I smiled at the sound of my daughter bouncing up the stairs. She was riding back from cheer camp with one of her teammates and they were supposed to be back an hour ago, so I was glad to have her home.

“In my room, hon,” I called out.

She eased into my room gingerly, as if she was trying to gauge my mood. I greeted her with a huge smile, which in turn made her smile.

“Hey, Mom,” she said, coming over to hug me. It felt good to hug my daughter. We’d been so at odds since she’d turned thirteen.

“How was camp?”

“Super cool. Mrs. Vega said to tell you hi and that she’s praying for you,” Tahiry said, referring to her teammate’s mother who had dropped her off. I made a mental note to call Mrs. Vega and thank her.

“So tell me all about camp,” I said, turning and giving my daughter my undivided attention.

Tahiry plopped down on my bed and began running down all the things she’d done the past week.

“It was sooo much fun. I’m glad you made me go. My friend Shelby had these awesome twists. I want you to
do my hair like that.”

My mother had come in the room midway through Tahiry’s camp rundown. She, too, had stood, listening intently. She finally interjected. “Sweetie, your mom is starting her own business, so her plate is full,” my mom said. “But how about Granny twists them later on?”

Tahiry turned up her nose. “Granny, you don’t know how to twist!”

“Well, I know how to plait. I can plait your hair.” She reached for Tahiry’s hair.

“Eww, as if!” Tahiry ducked out of her reach, and they both laughed.

“Go check on your brothers and I’ll take you guys out for ice cream later on,” my mother said.

“Ice cream? That is so elementary.”

“I’ll let you get sprinkles and nuts.”

“All right, cool.” She laughed before darting off.

Once again, I couldn’t help but be grateful that Felise had stepped up and gotten everything Tahiry needed together to make sure she could go to camp. Judging by how she looked coming home, it had done her good. Maybe now both of us could get on the path to healing.

49

Felise

IT HAD TAKEN ME MORE
than an hour to get Liz calmed down. Greg had locked himself in the guest room and hadn’t come out. I know he was feeling a mixture of anger and sadness because although he was an absentee parent, he loved Liz with everything inside him. So I knew that it broke his heart to see her hurting. I hoped that Liz’s finding out didn’t change his decision to give our marriage another try. I would talk with him about it later that night, but right then I needed to focus on my daughter. She had literally cried herself to sleep, and now I was sitting in the corner of her bedroom, watching her.

I debated whether I should go talk to Greg, but I wanted to be here when she woke up. Besides, I needed to give him time to cool down.

Finally, she stirred, her eyes slowly fluttering open.

“Mom?” I could tell she was thinking as the memory of the last few hours came back
to her.

“I’m here, sweetie.”

Sadness blanketed her face as she pulled herself up against her headboard.

“Can we talk?”

She slowly nodded.

“I don’t know how much you heard.”

“Everything.”

I got up and sat on her bed. “I’m really sorry, honey. There are so many things that I wish that I could do differently. I would die if you hated me.”

She didn’t respond at first, but once she’d considered what I said, she replied, “I don’t hate you. I could never hate you.”

I didn’t know how much I should share with my daughter, but I knew she was inquisitive and she wouldn’t be able to make sense of any of this until she had some answers.

“It’s complicated,” I began, “but long story short, your uncle Steven and I used to date back in college.”

“What?”

“We were really good friends who crossed the line and started dating. We thought it was a mistake, and I ended up fixing him up with Paula.”

“Ewww, I would never want Tahiry’s sloppy seconds.”

I managed a tight smile. “Well, we didn’t see it as that, and we never told anyone how close we really were. In fact, I think we even convinced ourselves.”

“I don’t understand. What does that have to do with now?”

“The night before he died, well, we made a big mistake.”

“And slept together?” she finished.

I nodded.

“Did you have anything to do with him dying?”

“No,” I said. At least I hoped I didn’t.

Liz didn’t ask any more questions after that. I could tell that she was trying to put together such a grown-up complication in her own teenage terms. She wouldn’t be able to figure it out right away. She’d need time to process how something like this could have happened. I was relieved, though, when she finally slumped against me, resting her head on my chest.

“You’re in a lot more trouble than I’ve ever
been.”

50

Paula

“MOMMY! MASON WON’T LEAVE ME
alone!”

“Tell him to stop looking at me.”

I never thought I’d be happy to hear my kids fighting. But that meant that we were returning to some sense of normalcy. And that was a wonderful feeling.

“Mason, leave your brother alone. Marcus, stop looking at your brother. Stevie, can you take out the garbage?”

I was sitting at the bar, going over some details for Felise’s party. I’d let Stevie move his PlayStation into the living room, an idea I’d adamantly opposed for the longest time, but I knew the last thing he needed was to be cooped up in his room.

“Aww, Ma. Why can’t Marcus and Mason take it out?”

“You didn’t start taking the garbage out until you were six, so they still have few more years. Come on, son.”

He placed the controller on the couch cushion and stood up. I had to do a double take because usually I had to fight
to get him to do anything. But I’d seen a change in my son since Steven’s death.

“Uggh!” Tahiry screamed as she stomped into the kitchen.

“What in the world is wrong with you?” I asked.

“It’s Chelsea.” She plopped down in the barstool across from me. “She makes me sick. I hate her!”

“Chelsea as in your best friend Chelsea?” I asked.

“She’s not my best friend anymore. I hate her.” Tahiry had her bottom lip stuck out like she used to do when she was a little girl.

I set my paper down and gave her my undivided attention.

“Honey, hate is a wasted energy. But tell me what happened.”

“She told Sonya Visor that I said Monica Jackson’s brother would never go out with her because she was too fat, so then Sonya got on Kik and told everybody in the world that I wanted to go out with Andrew Cooper, but he wouldn’t do it because he said my head was too big and I had a body odor.”

I fought the urge to ridicule her ninth-grade problems. “Sweetie, you don’t hate Chelsea, especially over some he-said, she-said stuff. What did Chelsea have to say about all of this?”

“I don’t know.” Tahiry poked her lips out. “I didn’t talk to her. I’m never talking to her again.”

“First of all, you have to talk to her. You have to get her side.”

Tahiry raised an eyebrow. “Why do I have to
do that?”

“Because what if this is all a misunderstanding? And not only do you have to get her side, but if she did do it, you have to find it in your heart to forgive her.”

Tahiry rolled her eyes, like that was the craziest thing she’d ever heard of.

“She’s supposed to be my friend. Why would she go talking about me?”

“You’re supposed to be her friend, and you’re not even giving her the benefit of the doubt,” I replied. She saw some sense in that, and I continued, “You guys have been friends since the third grade. You have to find a way to forgive her.”

“Forgive her? That’s not going to happen. I do like Andrew. But he’s never going to ask me out now after she put me on blast like that.”

I let some sternness enter my voice. “First of all, he doesn’t need to ask you out because you’re too young to date.”

“Uggh. Mom, you’re missing the point,” she protested.

“Second,” I continued, “any guy that is interested in you is not going to let some stupid post change his mind.”

She stopped short, like she was thinking about what I said.

I patted her hand. “Honey, people make mistakes, they do selfish things, and even intentionally try to hurt one another. It’s going to happen. But you owe it to your friendship to try to work past the problems. Don’t throw away years of friendship over a single mistake.” I brushed my fingers along her cheek. “Talk to her.”

She paused. “You really think I should?”

I nodded. “Nothing should come in the way of good
friends.”

Tahiry finally smiled. “I’m going to call her now.” She stood. “Thanks, Mom. You’re the best.”