Wheels of Steel, Book 1 (22 page)

“Is there anything you want me to do for you?” She mumbled after she had his coffee made. He looked at her as if he was surprised that she was still there.

“No.” He picked up the braces from the table where she’d placed them and wheeled out of the room. Her face dropped as soon as he was no longer present.

Well what did I ever do to him? Then she became a little angry because she had at least tried to be friendly, and he hadn’t. Well screw it. She didn’t need his friendship! She just did the dishes and thought about ending this day that had only just begun.

Jason was in his bedroom struggling with the button on his pants and cursing the fact that his fingers wouldn’t cooperate. He finally got them unbuttoned, slipping them down his legs to pool at his ankles. Then he strapped on his braces, making sure that they were firmly in position. He could hear Robin doing the dishes and he paused and listened for a moment. Why did she have to look so pretty this morning? It wasn’t that she had done anything special, her short curls were held back by a stretchy band and she was just wearing khaki pants and a white blouse. She wore not a stitch of makeup and yet she seemed so vibrant and full of life; starting the day with a happy good morning.

He would not allow himself to be affected by her because a job like this was a dime a dozen to an aid. One day she’d move on to something else and he was not going to allow himself to care. He wheeled back into the kitchen and picked up his coffee mug, not seeing a second one for her.

“You didn’t want any?” He took a careful sip of the hot liquid. She had screwed the lid on firmly so not so much as a drop dripped on his lip. Some aids were so stupid that they didn’t even have it screwed on tight enough or threaded right and scalding liquid would go running down his chin. He’d learned the hard way to be careful.

She shrugged absently. “No thank you.”

He watched the way she tried not to meet his eyes and how she stiffly moved about wiping off the table, even though she had evidently already cleaned it since there wasn’t any of his Cheerios mess present.

“Robin.” She kept wiping and didn’t answer. He thought about how friendly she had been this morning and how cold his responses had been and felt guilty. “I don’t mind…if you make yourself a cup of coffee when you make me one…or even if you just want one when I don’t.” She moved to the counter and began wiping that down. “I mean, if you want Cheerios, help yourself. And my Mom pretty much loaded me up with stuff when she went shopping so there’s other stuff in the fridge-”

She finally stopped and looked at him. “I don’t think that would be right. I work for you. I’m not supposed to use up your resources.” She shrugged. “Thank you, though.”

“You didn’t seem to mind having my coffee last week.”

“Sorry about that. It won’t happen again.” She turned away and left the room.

He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t like when she was like this…like he was just a job, which actually is all that he was. Okay, so he knew that he had just been in the bedroom thinking about how to keep a distance between them, but he already knew that he didn’t want that. It only took 30 seconds of her treating him like a mere patient to show him how foolish he was being. If he had to waste the time that they spent together being cold to each other, then he would rather go without an aid all together.

He wheeled into the living room where Robin had retrieved his book bag and laptop. “We only have about fifteen more minutes before we should head out.” She spoke while glancing at his unkempt hair and his unshaven face. “Are you sure there’s not anything you want me to do for you?” He ran his hands through his unruly hair.

“Do I look that bad? Don’t answer that. In my book bag is a headband. Can you hand it to me?” She searched for it and found it. He pulled it on over his head and then slid it back to hold his hair out of his face. “There.” She didn’t comment. Grrr.

“Okay, Robin, look I…” He sighed and knew that if he didn’t pause he’d be completely impossible to understand. He closed his eyes for a moment and relaxed. When he opened them she was watching him with a bit more interest then she had a moment before. “I always had aids, since I can remember. And I guess that’s all I ever knew…for a very long time. I didn’t go to a real school until college. The teachers at ‘normal’ schools were not equipped to deal with my seizures and My Mom didn’t want me going to ‘special’ schools so I was home schooled.

“My only friends were my mother and my aids; I guess, everything revolved around them. When I met a good aid they were like a lifeline to normalcy. My only friends were adults hired to take care of me.” He gave her a crooked smile. “That was my life. And then the job would end and they would just…leave. They would leave like I was nothing. To me their friendship was my life. So I had to begin to realize that just because my life revolved around them didn’t mean their lives revolved around me.” Her brow gathered and she watched him with sadness. What a sad way to grow up.

“It’s very easy to become too deeply attached to a person that is with you so intimately.” He thought fleetingly of those few people that had left their impression on his life and wondered if he had done the same with them.

“So you began to…push people away?” Afraid that they would leave him…

“No. Not people; ASSISTANTS. I push Assistants away.”

Robin’s face fell. “Gotcha.” Link had alluded to that fact when he commented on her return after her first day of working with him. Jason hadn’t expected her to actually stick in there; which is why he hadn’t bothered to introduce her to anyone. How many times had he made introductions in the past before his friends just stopped caring what body sat in the chair next to him to monitor his choking and seizures? And wasn’t that what Miss Lucille had done when she had waited 3 weeks before even asking her name. She was so naive.

He nervously rubbed the wheels of his chair. “I was stupid, Robin. I don’t want to…push my Assistants away. I would like to be…friends because maybe Assistants go, but friends don’t.”

She gave him a surprised look at all that he had revealed, and then nodded. She felt that it was only right that she explain about her nervousness. It was a good description; a simple nervous condition, not anxiety driven paranoia. There was such a thing as nerve pills but they didn’t stop you from breaking out in a cold sweat and hiding somewhere when you found yourself in a tough spot.

“Okay. I…” The words froze in her throat as she suddenly clammed up.

“What?” He prompted patiently.

“I don’t have any friends. I mean, I know people, but…” He nodded. “I get nervous easy.” She whispered the last.

“Shy?”

“Maybe a little more than that.”

He smiled. “It’s fine.” He didn’t really think of her as the nervous type, though she did retreat easily. But having no friends? That seemed strange considering how sweet and open she was. Yet, if she did have crippling shyness, he guessed that would be the result. “Shall we go?” Robin nodded in relief. It had been a revealing but uncomfortable conversation.

The drive to school was surprisingly comfortable even though Robin was too shy to start up a conversation and despite the unease that had existed between them just a short while before. She sipped her coffee because she had hurried to the kitchen and made herself a travel cup before leaving. As they drove in comfortable silence, she wondered again how to deal with Sweetheart. Maybe she should just…slowly disappear. Yes, that would probably be for the best.

Jason felt a weight fall of his shoulders. It was a new concept; to open up again and allow an Assistant to get close…especially in her case since he had to admit to himself that he was a bit attracted to her.

Chapter 18

During class he watched Robin more then he listened to his lecture. Sometimes she caught him doing it and she’d smile and he’d blush furiously. He learned new things about her, like the fact that she leaned forward when she was interested in what the Professor was talking about. And when she was confused, she would lean back in her chair and her hooded eyes would dart around the room to see if anyone else was as confused as she. When she got bored she would cross her arms over her chest and her chin would slowly begin to rest on her chest. She wasn’t falling asleep, just tuning out.

Sometimes she’d glance at him to see how he was reacting. He wanted to teach her what she didn’t understand; explaining it so that she wouldn’t be confused. But he knew that was stupid. She wasn’t here to learn, but to assist him.

Then as his business class was letting out he had a seizure. She had just placed his laptop into its case and had asked him if he wanted to build web pages for hire. Then came the sensation that he needed to stretch and yawn. He turned to Robin who was preoccupied with zipping the case, and that was the last that Jason remembered.

When he opened his eyes again it was to the sound of his own laughter. He was stretched out, legs no longer resting on the foot rest but on the floor and he was twisted half out of his seat. Robin’s brown face had paled and her eyes were wide. One of her hands rested on his chest, the other on his neck. He closed his eyes, tired, yet the chuckles continued; not loud, never loud. When he finally felt able to think clearly, he pulled himself up and straightened himself in the chair, grimacing.

“That was not funny.” She said solemnly. She sounded scared

“I know. It’s involuntary.”

“Are you serious? It’s like…laughing turrets or something?”

He nodded squirming a bit in his seat. He was pulling at his pants.

“What’s wrong?” She asked frowning. “Did you bite your tongue?” His face was bright red beneath the brown of his freckles.

“No--OW!”

She looked down and saw that there was something big in his pocket and he was trying to move it—OMG! It wasn’t in his pocket and she knew what it was…

“Um…are you okay?”

His face was beet red. “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry. But I need to adjust…” Robin was looking away discreetly. The room was empty as the seizure had begun at the end of class. Even the Professor had left; most probably so that he wouldn’t be called to assist.

“What are you doing?” Why was he fumbling down there?!

“My freaking hands won’t cooperate.” He was trying to unbutton his pants. “And I need to adjust.”

Robin moved anxiously from one foot to the other, then she looked down at his lap where his erect penis was straining against his pants. She quickly brushed his hands away and undid the button. Then she briskly unzipped him hoping nothing would pop out and no one would walk in.

“I swear, “ he said solemnly. “This is not a part of your job description; releasing patients erection.” Sweat beats had sprouted on her forehead but when he said that she burst out laughing; an explosive stress reliever. But then she saw him quickly reach into is pants and her eyes darted away. However, not before she caught a brief glimpse of the swollen tip of his penis peeking out above the waistband of his boxers as he pulled his penis flush against his body. Her face turned red hot and she knew that her cheeks were bright red, even through the brown of her skin.

“Button me! Hurry!”

Robin jumped and reached out to close and button his pants. His penis wasn’t visible but the evidence of his erection was unmistakable as it tried to tent out his shorts. It was so big! How had it gone from that wormy piece of flesh that she had held with two fingers to this huge snake-thing that he had to press across his pelvis?! Her hands moved at lightning speed to get him closed and zipped.

With that taken care of Jason quickly righted himself in his seat. His face was still blazing. “Thanks.” He mumbled. He was beyond embarrassed, and people were just beginning to come in.

“Sure.” She said and quickly grabbed his things while he began wheeling out of the room. When she caught up with him he offered her a shaky smile.

“Sorry about that. When I have a seizure I get a har…um an erection.”

She glanced at the passing people and hoped they couldn’t hear what they were talking about. “Yeah, I heard that sometimes happens. I took that seizure class, you know. They said sometimes you can lose your bladder or bowels, too.” She wanted to say, ‘so I brought baby wipes in case that happens.’ But felt that would be grossly inappropriate at the moment.

“I don’t really have to worry about that. I’ve learned to control my bowels long ago and I’m too hard to pee.” Robin looked at the distant spaces so that she didn’t have to look at him as he described this.

“Right.”

They moved on to the cafeteria, again she grabbed the tray and he got a grilled chicken sandwich while she got a burger and fries. The goth girl at the cash register gushed. Evidently there wasn’t always the same person at the register because this was the girl she’d seen the first day.