Wheels of Steel, Book 2 (40 page)

“Because I love her. She’s the only mother I have.”

Robin frowned. “How…? Is she sorry?”

Belinda nodded adamantly. “Yes. That bitch of a daughter never comes by anymore. I’m the only one that visits her. I…do my chores to help her out because her knees have arthritis so bad that I can hear her walking by the popping in her joints. She’s not even old…but her body is suffering and once she said to me that maybe god is punishing her for all the things she did wrong. Then she explained that some of the things she did in the past, she’s sorry for now.”

Robin only had bitter thoughts about the foster mother. She had been placed in a position to help a child and instead she had abused and neglected them. The tears continued to sprout in her eyes despite her anger.

“Do you still see her?” Robin asked, the anger evident in her voice as she swiped away her tears.

“Yeah, I saw her a few weeks ago. Robin don’t cry, its okay, because I’m okay.”

She wished that she was more like Belinda. She got through the hard stuff by wearing her armor and that was something that Robin envied.

She squeezed her eyes closed. “I keep thinking…that my father opened his eyes and looked around, and that nobody was there.” Robin began to cry. She had no more to say. That was the crux of her anxiety. Belinda got up and walked over to her and put her arms around her letting her cry it out.

Chapter 24

Jason’s father left soon after agreeing to pay for the surgery. At the door he turned and looked at his son.

“Jason.” He sighed. “I just wanted you to know that I realize that I’ve not been the best person; not the best father, not the best husband. I’m not the person that I used to be.” Jason didn’t respond, his expression didn’t even change and his father continued quickly. “When I say that, it is in no way meant to free me of the responsibility for the past. I just wanted you to know that I’m not trying to…pretend that I wasn’t an asshole.”

After a moment of silence, Chase nodded and left. Jason shut and locked the door. He didn’t want to forgive his father just yet. He just didn’t have forgiveness in him for the years that he wanted a father, a man to do things with, take him places, show him that he was ok, despite the fact that he would never run and never catch a football. Instead, he had a father that condemned him for being someone that wasn’t up to the standards of the big ex-football player. Frankly speaking, he didn’t care anymore and therefore it wasn’t necessary for him to forgive the man.

With that done, Jason checked Yahoo Messenger to see if Sweetheart in Hamilton County was logged in; no she wasn’t. He was reluctant to disturb her. She had one day in which to devote to herself because he knew that even Sunday was the day for church and she had both him and her mother to contend with. Besides, if she did manage to free up some spare time, then he’d let her be the one to call him. Instead, he pulled out his wallet and located the card from Mr. J Edelson.

He and Peter had agreed that since the other’s tongue worked much better in articulating, that he would do the talking. Peter and the girl’s were due to come over at five and if Robin hadn’t contacted him by then he would just break down and call her.

***

“Jason is going to freak when he sees your bruises.” Robin was curled on her couch with a mug of hot tea. Her throat was still sore, as well as her stomach, but the medicine was kicking in and it helped. She didn’t want to even think about what Jason would do. She even thought about wearing turtlenecks for the next few days; but eventually he’d see them so…better to face it now then later.

“I need to get Amberly her car back but if you want I can go with you when you tell him about what happened and Peter can swing by and pick her up from school.” Belinda knew what it would take to diffuse Jason and Robin would not know how to deal with the rage that she was sure to face. Belinda knew rage and she particularly knew Jason’s rage.

With a sigh Robin stood. “No. You guys come over at five. I’ll do this now.”

Belinda nodded and walked slowly to the door. “Are you going to be okay?”

She offered her a weak smile. “I’m okay. It’s just that I don’t know where that anger came from.” The way she blew up at the Elder care facility had scared her. She’d never done anything like that before. It was as if she’d unleashed every pent up, repressed emotion that she’d ever had and directed it at that woman. She shivered. That the man had stopped her before she’d done something more than just threaten her was probably a good thing.

She gave Belinda a hug even though the bigger girl didn’t seem like the hugging type. But she was wrong. Belinda held on to her tightly and Robin was the first to break contact. “Thank you for coming.”

Belinda shrugged and left.

Robin showered. The bruises didn’t hurt until she looked at them and they were ugly. She pulled on a leather jacket over her shirt and jeans and then headed out the door with an overnight bag containing her church clothes. On her way out of the building she picked up the mail and saw a letter from Pinnacle. She opened it on the way to the car and then tossed it on the seat bitterly.

…WE REGRET TO INFORM YOU THAT MRS. LUCILLE BABBS PASSED AWAY…

Robin used her key to let herself in and Jason looked up in pleasure from his studio. He wheeled over to her.

“Hi, babe.” He reached for her hand and tugged her down to his level for a kiss. She smiled.

“Hi.” She leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss without sitting on his lap. She frowned. “Jason. I just got some bad news. Miss Lucille passed away.”

His face crumpled. “Come here babe.” She sat on his lap and he held her close. “I’m so sorry. Oh babe, why didn’t you call me?” her arms were around his neck and she hugged him close. It felt so good to be in his arms. She closed her eyes and felt fresh tears prickling them. Why hadn’t she come here first instead of freaking out at home? She could have been in his soothing arms all of this time.

Jason held her, rubbing her back and speaking soothing words to her.

“I got sick.” She mumbled into his neck.

Jason frowned. “What’s wrong with your voice?” She still had her arms wrapped tightly around his neck. She finally loosened her grip and pulled back from him to look into his eyes. He watched her curiously and then his eyes rested on the bruises on her neck and the side of her chin. She saw his eyes change in just one instant.

His face began to redden and he silently met her eyes. She didn’t think that he could find his voice so she just began talking.

“I went to go visit Miss Lucille and when I found out that she had died…I lost it. I went…crazy on the nurse. I was going to attack her and the guy at the front desk stopped me and tossed me out.”

“A man put this bruise on you?”

She nodded slowly. And then she pulled off her leather jacket and his eyes rested on the bruise on her upper arm. She felt his grip tighten on her waist. “Are you okay?” His voice was calm despite the tight expression on his face.

“Yes.”

“Tell me again, but this time tell me exactly how he touched you.” She sighed, not wanting to do this, but she did. She explained the exchange word for word and the actions blow by blow. Jason was looking at her in amazement.

“You said that?” His thumb rubbed the flesh of her wrist where he was holding her hands.

“I don’t know where that came from, that’s not like me!”

“Do you think that nurse really did murder Miss Lucille?”

Robin let out a long breath. “Probably not. But she…someone could have made her life better.”

Jason’s hands tightened on her hands. “You did, Sweetheart. You did that for her. From what I hear, you changed her, brought her out of her own fantasy world. Isn’t the time you gave her up until her death the most important?”

Robin absorbed his words. “What if she wanted me? What if she called for me?”

Jason hugged her. “You can’t beat yourself up over that.”

“But if I could have just…”

“What? Said goodbye? Had one more day?”

Robin nodded. Jason gave her a grim look. “It still wouldn’t be enough.” She closed her eyes and nodded in agreement. She felt his fingers lightly on her bruised flesh and she opened her eyes. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t there with you, Robin.”

“You’re with me now and that’s the most important part.” She suppressed a yawn, the medicine, the emotions and now the relief that telling Jason had gone smoother then she could have expected worked on her nerves and she felt exhaustion weighing down her body.

Jason wheeled them into the bedroom. “The gang is coming over at about five.” That would give her about two hours to nap. “Sweetheart, I want you to get some rest.” She nodded and climbed from his lap to the bed. He held onto her hand for a while, kissing her knuckles as her eyes closed. And then when she was breathing evenly Jason released her and wheeled from the room. He put on some chill music in case she woke up…or maybe to help her as she slept, then he wheeled into the kitchen and pulled out his cell phone. Jason looked at his phone for a long time and then he called his mother.

***

Joyce Hamilton was in a funk. Chase had called her to inform her that he was giving Jason the money for the surgery. She ripped him a new asshole but he had held firm to his decision.

“You need to second guess me now? After all of these fucking years of me doing this by myself, now you want to man-up and make decisions?! Thanks for your support, Chase. Whenever it’s something important you know exactly how to drop the ball.” She’d hung up the phone and called him an asshole at the top of her lungs. Now she was sitting at her favorite pub drinking rum and coke and smoking a cigarette.

What do you do when your kid tells you to fuck off? And all of your life has revolved around that kid? She never thought the day would actually come when Jason would ever be able to actually say the words. Yes he had his tantrums and did things to spite her. But in the end a mother couldn’t want for a better son. Jason was smart, fearless, and he loved her. She felt tears prick her eyes. She swiped them away before anyone could see and then her phone rang. Her heart leaped at the familiar ring tone. Jason had programmed it to ring Purple Haze.

She answered it quickly. “Jason?” He wouldn’t be calling her this soon unless something was wrong. Mother’s had a sixth sense—especially when it came to their only child. “What’s wrong?”

“Mom…can I talk to you?” He sounded like he had at the age of nine when some asshole had done something to him that he couldn’t work through. Her heart sank as low as a mother’s heart could sink.

“What happened?”

“Robin.”

“Did you two break up?” Fuck! She hoped not, because then it could very well be her fault. Or maybe they were just fighting. Hopefully they were just fighting.

“No. I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” She relaxed. They were fighting. Jason continued. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to be a man. How am I supposed to be a man if I…”

“Jason? If what?”

“If I can’t support her with anything other than Dad’s money, if I can’t defend her, if I can’t take her to a freaking restaurant without people looking at me like I’m on leave from a home for the disabled! Or that she’s my overworked caregiver! I want to do this! But I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, Mom!”

“Jason, what happened? Because last time I talked to you, you were all about being a man and forging ahead without me. What happened since then?”

He surprised her by chuckling. “My girlfriend came over with bruises all over her because some security guard decided to manhandle her because she lost it when she found out that her old patient died. She came over here and there was nothing I could do. I can’t even jump in my car and drive over there and get to the bottom of it. I can’t wait for him to come out of work tonight so that I can be waiting in the bushes to fuck him up.” Jason expelled an amused voice. “The only thing I did was hold her while she cried.”

It was quiet on the other end. For a moment Jason wondered if his mother had even heard him. Then she spoke. “When I discovered that you were being abused at home…” She sighed. “What was the thing that I did for you that you valued the most? Was it when I filed charges against the woman? Because she didn’t even serve any jail time. Was it when I threatened to break her fucking neck? Or was it when I held you in my arms and told you that it was going to be okay?”

Jason frowned. He remembered being afraid for his mother; that she would do something that would result in her being thrown into jail. The fear of losing her was worth keeping it all a secret. But then he was so relieved when she picked him up and placed him on her lap and held him. They stayed like that for hours. He remembered feeling very safe.