When He Cheatin' and You Still Love Him (6 page)

My father, Lawrence Walker was the definition of a rolling stone. He came and went as he pleased, and there was nothing that anyone could do about it. I remember him being gone for days, sometimes weeks at a time, only to come home and things will go back to normal as if he never left. My mother, Mary, never said a word. I’m not sure if it was because she didn’t care about him being gone, or the fact that she was so used to the way that things went. Whatever the case was, she continued to do her wifely duties, as if things were perfect.

Now although my father stepped out on my mom every chance he got, he still made sure that he took good care of the both of us. Since I was the only child that he claimed publicly, I got everything I wanted and more. All I had to do was ask and it was mine, no matter what it was. I guess that’s why I have the attitude that I have now, because I’m so used to things going my way. I’m not sure of what it was that my father did for a living, but whatever he did, it was more than enough to provide for us, as well as the secret families that I later found out about. To this day, I’m sure my mother already knew about the extra women and the kids that he had made out of wedlock, but up until her dying day, she never uttered a word about it. Instead, she loved my father with everything in her all the way to the end, which is exactly how Shanair is.

I was thirteen when I lost her to heart disease. The doctor said that most of it was hereditary, and that she probably got it from the long line of family members who had it, but I never believed that shit. Honestly I think it was because of stress. Yeah, my mom always put up a front when it came to my father sleeping around, but I knew it affected her and there’s no one who could have told me any different. To know that your husband is out fucking around with numerous females is enough to drive you mad. She put up a good front though, because on the outside looking in, one would never know of the heartache she felt on a day-to-day basis. I lived in the same house with her, and I’d never seen her shed one tear over my father, so I know no one else did.

After my mom died my father lost it, and soon after things went downhill. I think he blamed himself for her passing, and couldn’t forgive himself. He stopped going out, his appearance changed from being well kept to barely showering and whenever you saw him, he had a bottle in his hand. My dad was definitely not the man he used to be. All of the other women were cut off, and it was just me and him. I remember he used to pull me to the side and tell me all kinds of stories about how he and my mom met. The smile on his face when he told those stories was something that I hadn’t seen in a long time. My father shared details about all the things they used to do before I was born and when I was younger. Although back then I also held him responsible for my mother’s death, I’d listen, and by the time the stories ended, we’d both be brought to tears because we both missed her so much. 

Two years went by, and I was just beginning to accept the fact that my mother was gone. I had stopped blaming my father, and gave it up to being God’s will. I figured that no one made my mother stay with my dad. She had free will to leave whenever she wanted, but she stayed. What her reasons were I didn’t know, but whatever they were, she stuck it out. Not long after I received another blow. I had begun to notice that my father was losing weight rapidly, and no matter what type of day it was, he was never hungry. As time went on he started to complain about his stomach hurting, but I paid it no mind, because I noticed that he still felt well enough to drink, so I figured he was fine.

One day after witnessing him throw up blood, I knew that it was time to get him checked out. I rushed him to the emergency room, where they kept him for a few days for observation. On the third day my father was diagnosed with liver disease and told that he had less than a year to live. He died two months later, leaving me alone and angry with the world. To this day I believe that he drunk himself to death on purpose as payback for the way he treated my mother. Whether that’s true or not I don’t know, but it damn sure seemed that way to me.

Now in front of the barber shop, I wipe away the tears that were welling up in my eyes. I miss both my parents dearly, and thinking about them always has me choked up, so I try not to do it much. Just the thought of what my mother went through with my dad makes me want to get my act together. I never want Shanair to have to go through any of that, and I don’t know what I’ll do if I lost her behind something I did. Being a better man is something that I need to work harder at doing. Now I know that I’m not going to say that this change will happen immediately, but I’ll definitely be working on myself, because my baby deserves it.

Chapter 7

Shanair

The last thirty minutes have been spent working in silence. Naomi has been quiet because she’s upset by the way that I handle Terry, and I’m sitting here trapped in my own thoughts. This right here is something that I don’t need, because not only am I tired as hell, but I need to keep busy so I won’t fall asleep. Add in the fact that I need someone to talk to. At times, dealing with Terry can be exhausting, and with me not having more friends, Naomi is the only person that I feel comfortable talking to. 

“Since you’re angry, I guess you don’t want to know what happened when Terry finally got home,” I break the silence. Since I know that my best friend is nosey, I’m hoping that it will reel her into speaking again.

“Oh, I already know what happened,” she assured me. “You yelled and talked a bunch of shit, and by the time you left the house everything was cool, right?” Naomi asks. She never once looks my way. When I don’t respond, she repeats herself, “Am I right Nair?”

“Well I told him that he bette—” I start, but she cuts in mid-sentence.

“You told him what Nair, that he better not do it again?” Naomi snaps. She finally turns to face me with her head cocked to the side. “That you’re going to leave him the next time it happens. What? What could you have possibly said to him this time?!”

“Why are you yelling?” I whisper looking around nervously. “I don’t need these muthafuckas knowing my damn business.”

Naomi speaks again, this time in a lower tone.

“Come on now Nair, Terry is a fucking dog and everybody already knows,” she points out. She must have seen the saddened look in my eyes, because she lightened her tone when she continued. “You know I love you. You also know that what I’m saying is true. Terry ain’t shit, and you my dear…you deserve so much better than him.” Even with the protective glasses over her face, I can see that her eyes are filling up with tears. “How much longer are you going to allow him to treat you like shit and embarrass you?”

“He doesn’t embarrass me,” I argue.

Naomi snorts and shakes her head before replying.

“Really Shanair? You must have forgotten about the temp that worked here last year? What was her name again?” she inquires, and all I can do is remain quiet because I know she’s right.

Last year a few weeks before Christmas, a few people got fired for calling off. This led to us being severely short staffed. Since it was only a few of us, the production began to get backed up, so Sharon reached out and started to work with a temporary agency. A couple days later they sent over a few people to help, and one of those people was a female whose name was Jackie. Now Jackie was a very pretty light-skinned chick with long hair and a nice shape. I’m not sure exactly how old she was, but I figured that she may have been in her early twenties. Well Jackie didn’t work long, because her first day turned out to be her last as well.

Sharon introduced the temp workers to all of the staff, and after she paired them up with their trainers we all got to work. Not long after the day started, I begin to notice that every time I looked up Jackie was staring at me. It didn’t matter where I was at in the building, she was always there and always looking. Then when I caught her and met her gaze, she would turn around and roll her eyes. At first I thought that maybe I was tripping or even overreacting, but when I brought it to Naomi’s attention and she noticed it too, I knew then that I wasn’t crazy. This continued to go on all the way until it was time for us to leave out for lunch.

As we walked out of the building, we passed her, and again she rolled her eyes. Even though I thought she was childish as hell, I started to walk up to her and ask if she had a problem. At the last minute I decided to not even bother, because I knew my attitude and didn’t want to cause an issue at the job that could potentially lead me to getting fired. I also figured that even if she did have a problem, it wouldn’t matter, because once her training was over, she would then go over to the late-night shift and I wouldn’t have to see her ass at all.

That day a few of us workers went to the Waffle House
for lunch. Since it was basically the only restaurant that’s near the hospital, we usually didn’t have much of a choice. Anyways, we had all finished our meals and were in the process of heading back to the hospital. Naomi rode with me, and we were both sitting in my truck getting ready to pull out of the parking lot, when Jackie suddenly appeared by my driver’s side window.

“You know Terry?” she asked rudely, looking down at me with her hand on her hip.

Taken back, I wondered why in the hell she was asking about my man.

“Yeah, that’s my boyfriend, why?” I responded, as I looked her up and down.

“I knew that was yo’ ass! So you
are
the bitch who was playing on my phone?”

“What?” I asked. Even though I heard her, I had no clue what the hell she was talking about. I looked over at Naomi, and all she could do was shrug her shoulders.

“Don’t
what
now bitch, it’s Jackie,” she informed me rolling her neck.

“Jackie?” I repeated trying to see if her name rang a bell; it didn’t.

”Yeah bitch,
Jackie
,” she mimicked. “You were talking all that shit on the phone.” I watched as she sat her purse on the hood of the car beside mine. “Talking about you was gone beat my ass and shit. I told you I was gone catch yo’ ass, didn’t I?” Jackie chuckled. “When I saw you pull up in your truck earlier this morning, I wasn’t sure if it was you, but when they introduced us, I knew that today was gone be my lucky day,” she paused. “I didn’t want to get fired for fighting on the hospital’s property, so I decided to follow you down here.”

“Um,” I stared at her, still confused by what was going on. “I’m sorry, but you must have me mistaken for someone else.”

Now at that point I wondered if the bitch was looney. Don’t get me wrong, because I ain’t afraid of nobody, and I will post up with anyone who comes at me crazy, but this bitch was coo coo for real. Jackie had admitted to following me from the job and all the way down the street to the restaurant. She then waited for me to eat and then confronted me outside in the parking lot, just because she
claimed
I was playing on her phone. Although it was funny in my opinion, it was also insane and I hoped like hell that she wasn’t seriously tripping over no dumb shit like that.

Then it dawned on me that she mentioned my truck. That piqued my interest because I used to let Terry use it whenever he was having issues with his car.
Nah, she can’t be talking about my Terry,
I remember thinking to myself. There wasn’t anything special about my truck that would make it stand out. In fact, there were hundreds of the same model and color in our city alone, so I wondered how she was certain that she had the right person? Thinking back, I don’t know if it was stupidity, or me just not wanting to believe her, because she know my truck, my man and my name, so why the hell did I think that she was mistaken?

I didn’t even bother to say anything after that because as soon as I saw her take out her earrings and remove her jacket, I unhooked my seat belt and climbed out my truck, closing the door behind me. Whether Jackie was wrong or not, I wasn’t going to let the bitch get the upper hand.

“Don’t play innocent now, bitch!”

“Hey, you can stop with all the name calling,” I advised, still trying to remain as calm as possible. My colleagues were around, and I really didn’t want to cause a scene, even though it looked as if Jackie wanted that. “I told you that you got the wrong person.”

As soon as those words left my lips, my head snapped back. The bitch punched me in the face and followed up so quick, that before I knew it I was sliding down my truck’s door getting my ass beat. Like I said before, I’m no punk, but the hit that she threw came out of nowhere and dazed me for a minute. As I fell to the ground, I reached out and tried to grab ahold of her, but couldn’t get a good grip because she was jumping around like she was a fucking pro boxer and shit.

Jackie continued to stand over me swinging blow after blow, and all I could do was put my arms up and try my best to protect my head and face. No matter what I did or how I maneuvered my body, I just couldn’t get up, so I just laid there powerless as she wailed on me. Talk about feeling weak. I mean, that bitch was kicking my ass, and it wasn’t shit I could do about it. When I heard Naomi’s door open and slam shut, I breathed a sigh of relief because I hoped like hell that she was coming around the truck to get the crazy ass heffa up off me.

Naomi didn’t get a chance to step in, because a few seconds later Jackie was lifted off of her feet. One of the guys from our department named Keith had seen the commotion and came over to help. While Jackie was being pulled away, she stuck her leg out and kicked me in the face. My head flew back and bounced off of my truck door, instantly giving me a headache. I attempted to stand up, but was only was able to make it on my knees. Somehow Jackie was able to get loose from Keith’s grasp, and she quickly ran over toward me again. While still on my knees, Jackie grabbed a large chunk of the micro braids I was wearing at the time, and jerked me toward her. I fell forward and landed flat on my stomach.

I screamed and scratched at her hands, as she pulled me along the graveled parking lot a few inches. She had a death grip on my hair, because I recall feeling like my scalp was on fire. Since I was only dressed in a pair of thin scrubs, the rocks on the ground dug into my legs and knees as she pulled me towards her. While holding on to my hair with one hand, she repeatedly punched me in the back of the head with the other. I remember lying there thinking,
Damn, is anyone going to get this up bitch off me?
Even though the fight probably lasted for a few seconds, it felt like an eternity as she continued to knock me all upside my head. When I heard Naomi tell her to let me go before she started to pry her hands away, I felt relieved. 

“Fucking bitch! I told you I was gone whoop yo’ ass! You though I was playing?” Jackie yelled once she was grabbed and pulled away.

She fought and kicked trying desperately to get away from Keith again, but he held on tight. While he kept her at bay, I used it as my chance to get some get back. I stood up and rushed over toward where they were, and before anybody could stop me, I hauled off and socked her ass dead in the eye. Keith turned her away from me, but not before I was able to get another good lick in. There was no fucking way I was going to let that bitch get away the shit she pulled. I didn’t care what her reasoning was behind the attack, she had no business putting her fucking hands on me.

From there I guess Jackie really got pissed, because she started to act like she was possessed. I watched as she threw her arms back and struck Keith repeatedly in the head and face. She even clawed and scratched at his hands until he was forced to let her go again. Once she was back on her feet, she charged at me once more. That time I was ready for her ass. We both threw a couple punches, and the tussle began. Jackie somehow slipped on a few rocks and it was then that I was able to get her on the ground and return the favor. I tried to beat the shit out of that hoe. I had her on her back punching her in the face, when some of the other guys –who had just finished paying their tab—came over to assist Keith in breaking us up. I wasn’t letting go though, and as they pulled me away, I dogged walked her ass just like she’d done me only minutes prior.

I’m not sure who it was but someone grabbed me and pulled me back, while Alfonzo, Keith’s best friend, got a hold of Jackie. Before we were completely broke apart, we were able to grab ahold of one another’s hair. Even with their coaching, neither one of us wanted to let go. I was fuming because that bitch had got me out of my hookup in front of my colleagues, and it was over something that I hadn’t even done. No matter what she said, I knew that I hadn’t played on her phone. That wasn’t even nothing I would do.

While Keith tried his best to untangle our fingers out of each other’s locks, Jackie lifted her foot and kicked me in the stomach. It was then that Naomi must have seen enough, because she immediately jumped in and punched Jackie dead in the face. The blow forced Jackie to finally let my hair go. I continued to hold on to hers, until one by one Keith bent my fingers back. When it was all said and done, I had a bloody nose, my hair was all over my head and my uniform was filthy. Jackie was also dirty, but also sustained a busted lip, and a black eye from either my cheap shot or Naomi’s.

When we made it back to work that day, both Jackie and I were called into the Sharon’s office. She had already heard about what happened and wanted to get to the bottom of it. Jackie kept hollering that she had gotten jumped by Naomi and I, but since all the guys that were in attendance said that they didn’t see Naomi hit her, Sharon dismissed her claims. While inside the office the security guards had to be called in, because Jackie kept trying to fight me even though I said nothing else to her. I was no fool, and didn’t want to lose my job behind that nonsense. Jackie on the other hand called me every name in the book, and after listening to her rant and act a fool, I found out that I did actually know who she was.

We had a confrontation over the phone a while back after I found some text messages between her and Terry in his phone. After I dialed her up, some words were spoken, but after saying my peace and listening as she continued to lie about not knowing him—even after I told her that I saw the messages—I hung up on her ass because I realized that talking to her was a complete waste of time. I had only called once, and right after confronting Terry about it, he beat my ass so bad that just like last night, I didn’t even remember her phone number to call her back; not that I would have anyway. At the time I didn’t even know that her name was Jackie, because Terry had only had it saved in his contacts by just her phone number. As far as playing on her phone and calling back to back, that wasn’t me. I later found out that she had gotten into it with Terry’s baby mother, Katrina, who apparently made her believe that she was speaking to me. So that fight was really about something that I hadn’t done.