When You're Ready (24 page)

“Seriously, dude, what happened?” Fernando asked.

“We…let’s just say we had a
great
time. And when I woke up she was working on a paper for one of her classes. Apparently, she has to do really well in this class so she can keep her scholarship, but it’s stressing her out, man. Between the crazy hours at work, and this paper she’s been on edge. So I thought I’d make it easier for her.”

“Uh oh,” Jason said, “what did you do?”

“I told her I was writing her a check.”

“For how much?” they asked.

I shrugged. “Only 20 Gs, man.”

“Twenty
thousand
dollars?” Fernando asked.

I nodded like it was no big deal—because it wasn’t—but they just shook their heads.

“Let me guess, she freaked out?” Jason said, sipping his drink.

“Yeah. She went off like I said I wanted to eat her puppy or something. Can you believe that?”

Jason chuckled. “You’ve been rich too long, man. I certainly
can
believe it.”

I stared at him like he had two heads. I’d been dirt poor longer than I’d had money; what the fuck was he talking about? I’d never thrown my success in anyone’s face; never flashed my cash around; and didn’t even wear a bunch of gaudy designer clothes like some people who suddenly became rich.

“Hear me out,” Jason continued, sensing my agitation. “I know we’ve gone on trips and shit, but have you ever given Fernando or me a cent?”

“No, your proud asses wouldn’t take my money even if I tried to force it on you.”

“Exactly. And from what you’ve told us about your girl, she’s proud too. She’s been taking care of herself for years before you came along, Scout.”

I shook my head. Jason clearly didn’t get it. He had a good-paying job, owned a house, and even had a little cushion in the bank. “Apples and oranges, Jay. You
have
money, Nola doesn’t. She’s out here working herself to death just to make ends meet. She
needs
it, man.”

“Does she? Or do you just want to be her Prince Charming, her savior, her freaking White Knight?”

“You don’t get it,” I said, refusing to hear Jason out. “She needs me to help her.”

“And if you weren’t around, what would happen? If you never met this girl, would she be out on the street?” Fernando asked.

“Probably not, but—“

“Okay, then. There’s your answer,” Jason broke in. “You can make her life easier, there’s no denying that. But she doesn’t
need
you, Scout. And it sucks, we’re men, we want to be needed. But this girl sounds like she has her shit together. I think you should just let her do her thing.”

“So I’m just supposed to sit back and watch Nola struggle?”

“Maybe,” Fernando said. “I’m sure she’ll come around eventually, man. But if you start flashing your money in her face she’ll start to feel like you’re trying to buy her. And nobody—
especially a woman
—wants to feel bought and paid for,” he said, chuckling. “Just let her take the lead. She’ll ask for help when she needs it.”

“And what if she doesn’t?”

“Then she doesn’t need it,” Jason said matter-of-factly.

“You mean she doesn’t need me,” I mumbled.

“Look, Scout. You’re more than just your money, bro. This girl is lucky to have you.”

“Even if she won’t take what I’m offering?”

“Is money all you’re offering?” Fernando asked. “Because if so, she’s getting shortchanged. You’re a good guy, Scout, and you’re more than what’s in your bank account. I’m sure this girl sees that.” He paused to take a long swig from his beer. “As a matter of fact, didn’t you guys start hanging out before she even knew you were rich?”

“Yeah…we did,” I said, shaking my head at the realization. Nola had
always
reacted strangely to my money. When she found out I was wealthy she damn near bolted for the door and accused me of treating her like a charity case. Jason and Fernando were right; I couldn’t push the issue, no matter how much it killed me to see her having a hard time. I had to give Nola the space to come to me for help; I just hoped she would.

“Then it’s settled,” Fernando said, draining his brew. “It sounds like you managed to find a good one.”

“You always were a lucky bastard,” Jason said, chuckling. “But don’t blow it, Scout, or I might have to give her a call. You know good women are hard to find.”

I tipped my bottle in his direction. “And that would be
the
last call you’d make, motherfucker.”

“Hey, you would do your boy like that? I thought we were brothers,” Jason said, still laughing.

“Then you know I’m serious.”

“I never thought I’d see the day.” Fernando shook his head and grinned. “Scout Clayborne is in fucking love. I think I can hear hearts breaking all across L.A.”

Jason raised his beer in a mock toast. “Here’s to the last remaining player in the crew. I won’t let y’all down.” We clinked bottles and gulped down our drinks. “Scout, I’m proud of you man; this is huge. But if you try to ditch us for this chick I’m slashing all of your tries.”

I doubled over in laughter, but I knew Jason was serious. “You guys are my brothers, I’m not going anywhere,” I said, giving him a sideways hug. “But, I think it’s time you assholes learn some manners. You might be getting a sister soon.”

“Oh, shit, it’s like that?” Jason asked, excited.

“Yeah,” I said, feeling like Nola was definitely my forever. “It’s like that.”

26
Scout

The house was quiet—
too quiet
—when I walked through the door. Since Nola had been staying at my place it was usually filled with noise—music, the TV, or her cute little humming. But when I got back from my powwow with Jason and Fernando, the house was completely still.

For a split-second, a sense of panic flooded my gut.
What if Nola left
? She’d slipped out before, leaving without saying a word and fleeing back to her apartment. Even though we’d pledged to be there for each other and cemented our relationship, I was worried Nola would bolt again if she got scared. And seeing how she wasn’t too pleased with me before I left, I knew it was a possibility.

After my boys set me straight I knew I needed to apologize and stop trying to be Nola’s damn hero, but it was hard. I hated to see her struggle, hated to see her break her back when she didn’t even have to. With the stroke of a pen I could alleviate most of Nola’s troubles, but like Fernando said, I would have to fall back and let her take the lead.

I jogged up the stairs, trying to sort out what I would say. I wanted to reassure Nola that I would never resent her or view her as a possession I merely wanted to own. Instead, I hoped she understood that whatever I did for her was done out of love.

It was just after one a.m. and I hoped Nola was still awake. When she shot me that death stare for interrupting her while she worked on her paper, I headed to Jason’s to give her some space. But now, I prayed she was ready to talk.

I knocked on the door to my office and popped my head inside, but Nola wasn’t there, so I headed down the hall to
our
bedroom. Yes, it was already ours, hers
and
mine. Having Nola in my space felt completely natural. I had convinced her to stay under the guise of obeying the doctor’s orders, but as the week wore on, I realized I didn’t want her to leave. I loved the feel of her head on my chest, loved waking up to her smile every morning, loved the way she did a little dance when she was happy. Most of all, though, I loved Nola; and the thought of losing her terrified me.

Before Nola came into my life my bedroom was just a place I crashed for a few hours if I was lucky, but now it felt homey and comfortable because she was there. When I stepped through the door, I saw her sitting cross-legged on the bed reading a book.
Damn, she was beautiful.

“Hey,” she said, when she noticed me staring at her. Just the sight of Nola could still bring me to my knees. She was wearing one of my shirts, looking absolutely gorgeous as usual.

“Hey yourself. Done with your paper?”

“Yeah. I’m going to proofread it in the morning, then head to campus to drop it off.”

I kicked my shoes off and sat on the edge of the bed. “What time?”

“Whenever,” Nola shrugged, “I don’t have to see Professor St. James. I can just leave it at her office.”

“Cool,” I said pulling my shirt over my head. “I have a couple of conference calls in the morning, but they should be over by noon. I can take you then.”

She eyed my chest, then bit her lip. When she realized I saw her, Nola’s cheeks flushed pink. It was a tiny sign, but it gave me hope she wasn’t mad at me anymore. Either that or she was as horny as I was. Most guys thought chicks in short dresses and high heels were sexy, but seeing Nola in nothing but my old t-shirt was a serious turn on.

“Okay,” she said, watching me strip out of my jeans. “But you don’t have to if you’re busy. I can take the bus or something.” I gave her a look and she giggled, already knowing how I felt about that suggestion. If I had any say in the matter Nola would never take another fucking bus again. “Fine…no bus,” she said shrugging for a second time.

“Good. I’m going to go jump in the shower, okay? Are you gonna be up?”

She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth again and nodded; of course, my dick swelled. I would have been all over her right then, but I smelled like beer, cigar smoke, and my Harley.

“Be right back.”

I walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower, waiting until steam filled the expansive space before jumping in and letting the scalding water beat down on my shoulders. I closed my eyes and leaned against the cool tile, running my apology through my head. I still had no clue what I was going to say, or if I should even say anything at all. The only thing I knew for sure was that I didn’t want to fuck around and push her even further away.

When I opened my eyes and reached for the soap, Nola was standing in the back of the shower, naked.

“I’m sorry,” she said before I even had a chance to utter a word. “I know you were just trying to be helpful, but it freaked me out.”

I grabbed her hand and pulled her into my chest. “It’s okay, baby.”

“This is all new to me. I haven’t relied on anyone in years, Scout.
Years
! So when you said you were writing me a check for
twenty thousand dollars
, it just felt really strange and overwhelming.”

I rubbed her back and placed a kiss on her forehead. “I get it, and I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have pushed the issue.”

“You must think I’m nuts, right? It’s just…I’ve never been with anyone before, never had anybody—let alone a man—offer me that kind of money. Everything is just…it’s just really new and I’m doing the best that I can to figure it out, but I’m having a hard time. I hope you’re not mad, Scout.” Nola stared up into my eyes and my dick expanded tenfold, pressing into her stomach. She glanced down and chuckled. “Well, at least
he’s
not mad at me.”

“I’m not mad, baby. I just wanted to help, but I didn’t even think about how it would make you feel. I know you’re not some damsel in distress. You’re a strong, beautiful woman who’s been through hell and is still kicking ass. That’s one thing I love about you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really,” I bobbed my head. “You know how many people would have taken my money and run?”

Nola sighed. “My mother would have.”

“Hell, so would mine,” I laughed. “Most people would have, though. But not you, baby. You want to stand on your own two feet. That’s commendable. That’s sexy as hell, Nola.”

“You know what else is sexy as hell?” she smirked, tracing a finger down my stomach.

I swallowed hard, almost unable to control myself. “What’s that?”

“You.” Nola ran her thumb across my lips. “You, Mr. Clayborne, are sexy as hell.”

Nola slid her hands up to my neck and brought my face to hers. I brushed my lips across her mouth before pushing my tongue inside. We stumbled backward into the wall, and I gripped Nola’s waist, pressing into her. My dick throbbed and wacked against her damp skin. Nola reached down and massaged me, and I couldn’t help but groan against her lips.

“Damn, baby. I think you need to—” my breath hitched and I groaned in pleasure as she stroked my shaft. “Nola, baby, you gotta stop. Baby….you need to—” If she touched me again, I was scared I would explode, so I grabbed Nola’s wrists and pinned them above her head.

“Let me go, Scout,” Nola whined, her voice husky. “I want to touch you.”

But I couldn’t risk it; Nola had to come first, there was no way around it. I nibbled the trail along her neck, down to her collarbone, and finally to her breasts. Nola pulled her hands loose just as I dropped to one knee, taking one of them into my mouth and sucking it hard. Her back arched off the tiles, and Nola’s hands gripped my hair. While I played with her nipples, I slipped a finger inside Nola’s wet pussy and began massaging her.