When You're Ready (32 page)

Nola jabbed at her eyes with the heel of her palm and sighed. “Not good. The cancer spread pretty quickly. Her doctor said if they would’ve found it sooner…” her voice broke and a fresh round of sobs shook her body. I rubbed her back until her tears subsided and she was able to speak again. “She says she’s not giving up, but she won’t even consider trying to fight it. She said she doesn’t want to be pumped full of poison just to die anyway.” Nola’s shoulders sagged in defeat. “I’m going to be a fucking orphan, Scout. No parents, no family, no anybody. I’ve been on my own for the past few years, but I knew I could come home. But now…I’m going to be totally alone.” She met my gaze and my heart shattered into a million pieces. “Scout, what am I going to do?”

“First, baby you’re not alone. You’ve got Tara and me. We love you so damn much and we’ll be here no matter what, okay?”

Nola gave me a tiny nod and tightened her grip on my neck.

“And second, we’re going to see if we can convince your mom to get a second opinion. Anything she needs, baby—any treatment, any doctor, any medicine—I’ll make sure she gets it, okay?”

She heaved a sigh, then relaxed against my chest. “Okay.”

“Now, let’s go inside so I can meet the woman responsible for giving me such an awesome girlfriend.” I placed a kiss on Nola’s forehead as we both stood and headed through the door. “I want to thank her.”

The house was small, but crammed with things. An oversized couch dominated the main room, crates of records were stacked in the corner, pictures of Nola at various ages rested on nearly every surface, old concert posters lined the walls, and a bundle of herbs burned on the mantle of the fireplace.

“So that’s what I smelled,” I mumbled aloud.

“Yeah, it’s sage. My dad used to burn it all the time, said it kept bad spirits and negativity away.”

Nola disappeared down the hall into her mother’s room to see if she was awake and comfortable, while I continued to peruse the space. I ambled toward the pictures of Nola as a baby, admiring her gummy grin, chubby little legs, and outstretched arms. There was nothing even close to this back at my parents’ house in Pacoima. No pictures of them cheering me on while I took my first few steps, no videos of me playing little league or graduating middle school, no artifacts from my earlier life. Whatever pictures I had from childhood were taken by other people—Jason and Fernando’s parents, former teachers, my eighth grade basketball coach. Nola didn’t have a perfect life, far from it, but at least someone stopped long enough to document it.

For most of my life I tried to ignore the fact that I’d missed out on so much, but staring at Nola’s pictures brought it all home. Despite everything that happened to me, I’d somehow managed to be successful. I had a decent life, more money than I could ever spend, two great friends, and an amazing woman who loved me. Still, there was something missing: a family of my own.

“Let’s have a baby,” I said, as soon as Nola walked back into the room.

She stopped in her tracks. “What?”

I caught her by the waist and pulled her into my chest. “A baby,” I said, staring straight into her eyes so she’d know I was serious. “Lets have one.”

“Have you lost your mind? We can’t have a baby, I have to finish school and—“

“I hope that question came with a proposal,” her mother said, slipping into the room without either one of us noticing.

Nola’s head snapped toward her mother’s voice, and she hurried to help her to the couch. “What are you doing out of bed, mom?”

“I wanted to meet your friend, darling,” she said, shooing Nola’s hand away from her elbow.  “And it looks like I got here right in time. What’s this about a baby?” She eyed her daughter, “Are you pregnant?”

“No!” Nola almost yelled, her cheeks turning deep crimson. “Of course not, Scout was just…”

“Sounds like he was getting ready to propose,” her mother smiled.

“MOM! He was not! Scout was just joking, right?” She looked at me, hoping I’d agree with her, but all I could do was laugh. Once Nola realized I was too amused by the scene to cosign her statement, she huffed, “Mom, we’re too young to get married.”

“Oh please, baby girl,” Mrs. Chambers said. “Daddy and I were 19 when we got hitched.”

“You were trying to escape the Midwest and daddy always said he was your ticket out of town.” Nola rolled her eyes and giggled. “Seriously, though, you guys were just two crazy, impetuous kids.”

“And in love,” Mrs. Chambers said, her pale face lighting up into a smile. “We were so in love.” She motioned for us to join her on the couch, then met my eyes. “Do you love my daughter?”

“MOM!” Nola yelped before I could even answer. “We haven’t even known—“

I placed my hand on hers, giving it a squeeze. “Yes, Mrs. Chambers. I love her more than I love myself.”

“Good, because when I’m gone—“ Nola started to say something, but her mom hushed her. “When I’m gone,” she continued again, “you’re going to have to look after her, okay?”

“Okay ma’am, I promise.”

“But that doesn’t have to be right now,” Nola piped up. “Mom, Scout and I think you should get a second opinion. Maybe you can come back with us to L.A. and we can get you checked out at UCLA’s cancer center. It’s one of the best in the country, and you you can even stay with me.”

Mrs. Chambers’ mouth ticked up into a tiny smirk. “You mean…I can stay with the both of you?”

Nola opened her mouth to speak, but I beat her to it. “Of course. We have an extra room in our house; it’s yours if you want it. We’d love to have you.”

“
Our
house?” Mrs. Chambers repeated.

“Yes,
ours
. I asked Nola to move in with me, Mrs. Chambers, and I hope she takes me up on it.” I gave Nola’s hand another squeeze and she returned the gesture. I took that as a yes.

Mrs. Chambers took a deep, satisfied breath and exhaled. “Thank you for the offer, Scout, but I think I’m going to have to pass.”

“But mom—“

“Nola, now listen,” Mrs. Chambers said, putting an end to her daughter’s objections. “I know I wasn’t the best mother after daddy died, but when we lost him, I felt like the biggest, most vibrant piece of myself had been ripped away. And I know that’s not an excuse to treat you the way I did, but every time I looked into your eyes I saw Ian, and I just couldn’t bear it.”

“But I needed you, mommy. Daddy was gone and it felt like you were too.”

“I know, darling, but I just didn’t know how to deal with my feelings, so I tried to ignore them. Thing is, every time you’d smile or tell me about your day or hum while you were cooking, I’d think of Ian, and all the pain would come rushing back.” Mrs. Chambers dabbed her eyes and covered Nola’s hand with her own. “Now I know you were hoping for some kind of Hallmark reunion one day. Hell, I was too. I thought I could make it all up to you down the line, but looks like I waited too long. I’ve never been good with being on time,” she chuckled. “Nola, you’re an amazing girl. You’re smarter than I ever was, and so determined. You’re going to do wonderful things, baby girl.” Mrs. Chambers cupped the side of Nola’s face and brushed back a few of her daughter’s tears. “When you were born, your father and I stayed up all night just to look at you; you were so beautiful with your head full of curls and big hazel eyes. We couldn’t believe we created something so incredible.”

Nola put her head in Mrs. Chambers’ lap and sobbed quietly. I felt like I was intruding on the intimate scene, but I didn’t dare leave. I couldn’t. It was evident Nola’s mother loved her desperately, even if she didn’t know how to express it all of those years.

“Darling, you’re still my proudest achievement and my most precious gift. I was a terrible mother, but I never stopped loving you, okay?”

“Okay, mommy,” Nola murmured into her mother’s blouse.

“Now, I don’t have much time left, but I know you’ll be fine. You’re brilliant, you’re strong, and you have Scout,” she said, reaching over to grab my hand. “I know we just met, but Scout reminds me so much of Ian. Tall, good heart, handsome as hell.” Mrs. Chambers smiled back and I almost broke down at her endorsement. She was entrusting her
most precious
gift to me, and I knew I couldn’t let her down. “I know you’re scared to end up like me, baby girl, but I loved your father more than life itself, and I wouldn’t trade my time with him for anything in this world. You were the apple of your daddy’s eye, and if Scout treats you even half as well as Ian treated me, you’re in for a lifetime of happiness.”

“Okay,” Nola hummed.

“And Scout,” Mrs. Chambers met my eyes, “if you even think about mistreating my daughter, Ian and I will haunt you for the rest of your life, you hear me?”

I didn’t believe in ghosts, but somehow, I knew Mrs. Chambers wasn’t joking. “Okay, ma’am.”

“Now help me up, I’m going to go water my plants and get a little color in these cheeks.”

Nola sprang up from the couch and grabbed her mother’s arm, helping her to her feet. “Do you need any help outside, mom?”

“No, darling, I’ve got it covered. Besides, you two have a few things to talk about. Isn’t that right, Scout?” she asked, winking at me.

Nola helped her mom to the door and into the yard, then returned to the couch and curled up next to me. “What was that about?”

“Maybe she wants us to work on those grandbabies,” I said, smiling.

Nola elbowed me in the ribs. “Yeah, right. I don’t think so.”

Still chuckling, I placed a kiss in her hair. “You okay?”

“A little. It’s so weird. On my flight down here a had a whole speech planned out about how I’d been feeling all these years, but now, everything just feels so…insignificant.”

“Your mother loves you, Nola.”

“I know…and that’s all that matters.”

I slung my arm around her shoulders and she snuggled further into me. “I could get used to this.”

“Yeah,” she placed a kiss on my neck, “me too.”

“Be careful,” I warned, “I might want to stay like this forever.”

Nola stared up into my eyes and smiled. “What are you talking about, Scout?”

I ran my thumb over her lips and lowered my mouth to hers. Nola’s lips tasted salty and sweet like her strawberry lip gloss had mixed with her tears. “You’re it for me, Nola.”

“What does that mean?” she asked, wide-eyed and beautiful as ever.

“
You’re
my forever, baby, and when you’re ready, I’m going to ask a question that’ll change both our lives.”