When You're Ready (30 page)

“Dead?” I gasped. “Dead? How?” I tried to meet Scout’s gaze, but he wouldn’t look at me. “How did he end up dead?”

Bear grinned, “I think you should ask Flex to explain that one, right buddy?”

Before I could ask Scout what the hell was going on, he leaped at Bear and began pummeling his face with a series of punches. “I’ll fucking kill you, you bastard!” he yelled, whaling on him with a flurry of blows.

I stumbled backward, away from the men, their fight, and the news that Scout, apparently, wasn’t the man I thought he was.

Had I been fooled? Scout had been nothing but a gentleman with me, but was that really who he was, or had he been lying to me all along? A sickening feeling crossed my mind, causing my stomach to curl up so tightly I was actually in pain.

Had I fallen in love with…a monster?

I couldn’t reconcile Bear’s bombshell about Scout’s past with the man he’d been with me. It just didn’t make sense. I couldn’t imagine Scout leaving anybody dead, let alone being responsible for their demise. But after watching him attempt to beat Bear’s entire face in, I wasn’t sure who he was anymore. All I knew was that I needed to get as far away as possible before I got hurt.

32
Scout

I could have killed him. As a matter of fact, if Jason hadn’t pulled me off of Bear, I would have killed him. It had been years since I’d gotten so angry that I wanted to end someone’s life, but Bear went too far, bringing up the past I’d worked hard to forget—and make amends for—while threatening my future. Nola was my chance at happiness, and now she was gone.

When Jason finally wrestled me away from Bear I was so furious I didn’t even realize she wasn’t around. Before everything went to shit, I’d pleaded with her to go wait by my bike while I reasoned with Bear, but she was still right there by my side when I throttled him. I had no choice, he was trying to purposely bring me down—like always—and remind me of everything I used to be: a complete asshole, a thief, a liar, a serious fuckup. I’d made a lot of mistakes in my life, and I’d hurt a lot of people, but I wasn’t a murderer.

Nola should have known that. She should have known Bear was just running his fat mouth and talking shit, but when I went to look for her she was nowhere to be found. She wasn’t with Zoe, or by my bike, or anywhere on the beach. Frantic and covered in Bear’s blood, I rang her phone over and over again, but each time my calls went straight to voicemail. Part of me hoped Nola had just gotten scared and was back at the house, but even as I raced home to look for her, I knew she wouldn’t be there.

“She’s gone, Jay,” I said, clutching the key ring I’d given Nola that morning. It was on the kitchen counter along with an insanely short note that I scanned again and again looking for clues.

I need some time.

“She’s fucking gone,” I mumbled again, feeling like my heart had been ripped from my chest. “I lost her.”

Jason grabbed the post-it and read it for himself; his brows furrowed together and he ran his hand over his jaw. “I don’t think it’s as bad as it looks, man. She just said she needed some time.”

“Time?” I pounded my fist on the counter, smearing blood on the marbled surface. I’d cut my hand on Bear’s jagged teeth, but I didn’t even care. “What does she need time for? To leave me?”

“Look man, you have to admit that was a pretty crazy scene back there. Nola doesn’t know Bear or that he enjoys getting under your skin. She’s never seen you like that, man. I’m sure she was a little caught off guard.” Jason turned and put his hand on my shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “Just give her a little space, Scout. I’m sure she’ll come around.”

“What if she doesn’t?”

“She will,” Jason insisted.

“But what if she doesn’t?” He was trying to reassure me, but it wasn’t working. Jason didn’t know Nola. He had no clue that the one thing she wanted most was a normal, peaceful life, and that didn’t include a boyfriend who beat the shit out of people. I kicked one of the bar stools, sending it sliding across the kitchen. “I fucked up, Jay,” resigned, I sighed and collapsed to the floor, “again.”

“Just give her a little time, Scout. Once she calms down, I’m sure she’ll call you.”

“So I’m supposed to just wait until then?” I scoffed. “What if that never happens?”

“It will, man, you just have to—“

“Yeah…yeah…yeah, ” I cut him off, I didn’t need to hear anymore bullshit. “I just have to be patient.”

“Right.” Jason offered me his hand and pulled me up. “Why don’t we go grab a drink, you know, take your mind off things.”

“You’re kidding me, right? Take my mind off things? Man, until I hear from or see my girl, that’s the only
thing
my mind will be on.”

Three hours later, I was drunk and feeling
a lot
worse. Nola still hadn’t called, or picked up the phone, and I lay in my bed wondering what the hell I was going to do next. Climbing into my car and racing to her apartment was out of the question—I was so smashed I probably wouldn’t have made it around the first hilly curve leading to the freeway. All I could do was wait until I sobered up and pray that Nola called.

When the morning rolled around and I still hadn’t spoken to her I knew I had to do something. I threw on my clothes, grabbed my keys, and headed out the door. Jason said I should give her some time and wait for her to reach out to me, but I’d used up all of the patience I had. Waiting for things to happen had never been my style. I was a go-getter; I prided myself on making things happen. Even back when I was a broke teenager, ripping off car stereos just to have a few dollars in my pocket, I knew if I wanted something, I had to go out and get it myself. Convincing Nola to come back home would be no different.

She
belonged
to me, not in the sexist,
I-own-this-woman
type of way. But Nola was my other half, my calming force, the one person in the whole world who actually made me feel happy and loved and complete, and like my future wouldn’t be haunted by my past. I couldn’t lose her, not like this, and not over some shit I didn’t even do. I knew Bear’s suggestion that I was some kind of crazy killer had driven her away; still, trying to knock his head off probably didn’t help either.

I gathered all of the courage and composure I had and knocked on Nola’s door. It had been almost 24-hours since I’d last seen her and I was barely keeping it together. For the entire night we were apart, my emotions ranged somewhere between suffocating despair because she still hadn’t called and paralyzing fear that I’d lost her forever. Either way, I was ready to put an end to the rollercoaster and take my girl home.

Determined, I knocked on her door again and waited, running my spiel through my head. I had to not only convince Nola that I wasn’t a psycho, but also that our life together wouldn’t be haunted by crazy episodes from my past. Like me, she’d been through enough traumas to last her a lifetime, it was only fair that we both finally got a little peace. I wanted to be Nola’s refuge, hell, I
could
be her refuge; I just had to convince her that I wouldn’t let her down…
again.

There was still no sign of movement inside Nola’s apartment, so I banged a little louder and a little longer. I paused and put my ear to the door to see if I could hear her lurking on the other side. Unfortunately, she wasn’t. One thing was becoming abundantly clear: Nola wasn’t going to make this easy.

I pounded on the door again, hell bent on getting her to open it and welcome me in, but before she could open it her neighbor appeared.

“She’s not here,” the man said, looking very annoyed.

“Are you sure?”

The portly man sighed and crossed his arms. “Of course I’m sure. She was keeping up so much noise, sounded like she was moving everything around.”

“Was she…alone?” I asked, afraid for the first time I had already been replaced. Nola was a gorgeous women, I was sure there were any number of guys just waiting for me to fuck up so they could slide right in. If she were with somebody else, if she’d run into some other guy’s arms, I would kill him. Wait…no, not
kill
him,
kill
him
,
but we’d certainly have a chat about why he could no longer see my girl.

“Yeah, she was alone,” the man said, and I felt my body sag in relief. “She was lugging a suitcase down the stairs, woke me up from my sleep.”

“Do you know where she went?”

The man looked me up and down and frowned. “How should I know? I didn’t ask any questions. I just wanted her to keep it down.”

“Thanks,” I said, bolting down the stairs and jumping in my car. I didn’t know where the hell Nola was, but I knew where I’d look first. I revved the engine of my Mustang, threw it into gear, and raced down La Brea toward Pink Taco.

I was going to get my girl and nothing—and no one—was going to stop me.

33
Scout

“Can I help you?” A tall, buxom girl with an arm full of tattoos and purple hair asked. She was standing near the hostess desk when I walked into the restaurant, but didn’t bother to acknowledge me until I cleared my throat.

“Yes, I’m looking for Nola, is she here?”

“Who wants to know?”

“Scout.”

“What kinda trippy name is that?” she said, taking entirely too long to answer my question. It took everything in me not to snap at her for her mocking tone and the fact that she still hadn’t said anything about Nola.

“Mine,” I said, scrubbing a hand over my face. “Is she here?”

The purple-haired girl crossed her arms. “Nope.”

I sighed and turned to leave, but she stopped me.

“But she was.”

“Do you know where she went?”

“Nope,” the girl said again, and my patience was pretty much gone. It was clear she was toying with me; however, I didn’t have time for her games. “But, ” she said, popping her gum loudly, “Tara might know. They’re pretty tight. After work they probably braid each other’s hair and do all that stupid girly stuff that makes me wanna hurl.” She took a step toward me and grabbed my arm. “Nice ink. Who does your tats? I’ve been looking for another guy since my ex and I broke up. He did my sleeve, and—“

What the fuck?
Was she seriously asking me about my tattoos when I was looking for my girl? I couldn’t take her yammering anymore, so I cut her off. “So, is Tara here?”

“Yeah, she’s in the back,” she said, but made no attempt to go get her. Instead, she was still inspecting my arm.

“Do you mind getting her for me? It’s important.”

The girl rolled her eyes and huffed. “Fine.”

I watched her trudge through the dining room and disappear behind the wall that separated the main room from the back of the house. A few minutes later, a petite, blonde girl emerged from the kitchen and walked straight over to me.

“Tara?”

She crossed her arms over her chest, and eyed me suspiciously. Yup, she was
definitely
Tara. 

“Who wants to know?”

“I’m Scout, Nola’s—“

“I know who you are,” she said, cutting me off quickly. “What do you want?”

“I need to find her. Do you know where she is?”

“Of course, I know where she is,” she said, and even though I was stressed as hell and feeling like crap, a smiled tugged on the corners of my lips. “But I’m not telling you.”

Shit
. Just like that, my smile evaporated.

“Look—“ I said, starting to plead my case.

“No, you look,” she wagged her finger at me, “if you think I’m going to tell you where Nola is so you can hurt her again, you’ve got to be crazier than she says you are.”

Her words were a gut punch, causing me to stumble backward. Nola actually thought I was a psycho and a liar; she even told her friend. Until that point I’d been clinging to the idea that once I saw her I would tell her everything about my life and lay myself bare so we could move on, but how the hell was I supposed to get Nola back now?

I rubbed my temples and tried to come up with something that would convince Nola’s friend I wasn’t going to hurt her—
again
. “Listen, I’m not sure what you’ve heard about me, but—“

“Well, for starters, I heard about you beating some guy senseless.”

I winced. “Yeah, but…”

“And that you used to do all kinds of crazy things like use girls, rob houses, and kill people.”

My head snapped up. “I’ve never killed anyone.”

“So why did Nola say…”

“She was mistaken,” I sighed, “this asshole from back home tried to blame me for something
he
did, something I wasn’t even around for. I could never kill anyone, and I would never hurt Nola.”

“Well, it’s too late for that. She called me crying! Between you and her mother…“

“What happened with her mother?”

“She’s dying.”

“Dying?” I repeated, hoping she was mistaken. Nola and her mother didn’t have the best relationship, but if her mom did pass away Nola really would be all alone. It was settled; she needed me more than ever.