Where Does My Heart Belong? (13 page)

CHAPTER
34

March
1974

Eight months go by and
we’re happy together.  It’s almost like the way we were after his divorce from Carol.

Then I get the phone call
that I have always been dreading, the call I knew would come one day.  Grandma
has had a heart attack.  She is in critical condition and the doctors don’t
think she will make it.

I’m frantic to get to her
but her jet is not available so I will have to fly commercial.  I book a
one-way reservation for the next day, then call Red at work, and tell him
what’s happened.  He says he will take the day off and drive me to the airport
and not to worry about stuff at home, he will take care of everything until I
get back.  He doesn’t want to deal with the animals so I take Zip, Billy G, and
Danny to Chris and Barb’s place.  Lecia, the cat, can fend for herself and give
him some company while I’m not there.

The drive to the airport in
Yakima seems like it takes forever.  I can’t wait to get on the airplane and
get to San Francisco.  At the same time, I don’t want to be away from Red.  I
want him to come with me but he is busy at the dealership and can’t get the
time off.

Once we get to the
airport and after I go through the check in process, I tell him that I love
him, and I will be back as soon as I can.  I give him Grandma’s phone number
and tell him I’ll call him later that night.

When I get to San
Francisco Fred Holmes meets me and takes us directly to the hospital.  I only
get to spend about 10 minutes with Grandma before she passes.  She’s conscious
though and recognizes me.  The last thing she tells me is, “Do not be afraid of
dying, this is the most wonderful, amazing feeling in the word.” 

Then she’s gone.  Fred
and I hug each other and cry.  She was the second love of his life.  She filled
a void after his beloved wife died of cancer.   I don’t know what I would have
done without her either, because during my turbulent childhood years she was
always there for me.  Always loving and supporting me.

Fred calls the funeral
home and arranges for them to come and get her.  She wants to be cremated and
her ashes sent to Portland, Oregon for burial in her husband’s grave.  I’m not
crazy about cremation, but she once told me that she had a fear of being buried
in the ground, so I will honor her wishes.  Tomorrow we will meet with the
funeral home and plan a memorial service for her here in San Francisco. 

After Fred takes me to Grandma’s
house, I call Red and tell him that she died and that I don’t know how long
I’ll be gone.  He tells me not to worry; he’ll take care of everything there. 

The next morning I wake
up to the telephone ringing.  It’s Tony.  Fred has told him that Grandma died.

“I want to help, what can
I do.  Are you alone?”

“Yes, I’m alone.  Fred
and I are going to the funeral home at 10:00 to arrange for a memorial
service.  The only other thing I can think of is just to get the word out to
her friends.”

“I think Fred is taking
care of that.  He called us and I know he called Leona.  I’m on my way; I can
be there in about 20 minutes. I don’t want you to be alone at a time like
this.”

He gets here at 9:00, and
Fred is right behind him.  They both hug me and then we discuss what kind of
memorial service we want.  After a half hour, Fred suggests that we leave for
the funeral home.  “The traffic’s bound to be a nightmare.  I brought the limo
so you both can ride with me.”

After we arrange the
service for Grandma, Fred takes us out for lunch.  When we get back to the
house, I tell them that I think I should have a buffet of some sort after the
service and invite everyone back here.  “Do you think I can get a caterer on
this short of notice?  How many people should we plan for?” I ask them. 

“I’ve got a better idea,”
Fred says.  “Let’s have it at my club.  We can plan on a fifty people.  If we
need more food, the staff can whip it up in a jiffy.  If it’s too much they can
serve it to others or you can take it home with you.”

“That sounds great, Fred,
thank you,” I tell him.

“Okay, then, the service
is at 11:00 on Thursday, so I’ll pick you up at 10:00.  Call me if you need
anything before then.”

“Libby, will you let
Angie and me stay with you tonight?  I don’t want you to be alone,” Tony asks.

“Sure, Tony, that will be
fine.  You can have the downstairs the same as you did before.  I’ll go get the
beds made up.”

“While you do that I’ll
go pick up Angie at her school.”

When they get back, Angie
is ecstatic to see me. After she hugs and kisses me she says, “Hey Libby, I
talk American now, do you know what ‘shithead’ means?”

“Angelita,” Tony
hollers.  “Where did you learn that word?”

“
En escuela
, what
does it mean Libby, huh, what does it mean?”

“It’s a slang word for a
stupid person.  It’s not a nice word to use in English.  It’s derogatory.”

“Please don’t say that
word again, Angie,” Tony says.  “It’s not nice.” 

“What’s doggertree?  Is
that a tree where doggies go pee-pee?  I’m going to watch TV now.”

Oh, my God, I cover my
mouth with my hand.  I don’t want her to see me laughing.  I head for the
bathroom and  Tony follows me in.  I laugh until I think I’m going to be sick.

“Ten thousand dollars,”
he tells me.  “That’s what that fancy school of hers is costing me a year, and
this is what she comes home with, a bunch of bathroom vernacular.  If I wanted
her to talk like that, I could have saved the money and sent her to public
school.”

“The school didn’t teach
her that.  Kids pick up everything they hear other kids say.”

“Yeah, I know, she’s
probably heard worse from my renegade nephews, Manny’s kids.  They can cuss the
wallpaper off the walls.  I’m glad she doesn’t see them that often any more. “

I’m still laughing.

"You can laugh now,
Libby, but mark my words, when you have kids of your own you won't think it's
so funny.  I don't know how my folks did it, raising the five of us.  One of us
was always into something."

"Did you get
spankings?"

"Oh, yeah, spanking
was the order of the day back then.  Manny got the most of them; he was the
problem child.  I got a few, the worst one was the last one.”

“What’d you do?

“We hadn't been in
America very long and we were dirt poor.  My folks would buy our food in bulk
because it was cheaper that way.  We had a little pantry where we stored it and
we kept the flour in this little barrel.  One day Mama was going to do some
baking so she asked me to get her some.  When I took the lid off the barrel, I
saw several little mice running around in there.  Instead of bringing her the
flour, I got our black cat and put him in there with the mice, then put the lid
back on.  That cat made an awful racket, yowling and screaming.  He wanted
out.  The barrel was rocking and rolling from side to side and I was laughing
my head off.  When Mama heard the commotion, she came to see what was going on
and got there just as the lid flew off the barrel.  That cat high-tailed it out
of there, covered in flour.  Then the barrel tipped over and the flour and mice
spilled out.   She gave it to me good for that one and when Papa came home I
got it again.”

"That is the
funniest thing I’ve ever heard.  I wish I could have seen it.”

“Yeah, I thought it was
funny too until they explained to me that I had ruined one of their food
supplies and they didn’t have the money to replace it.  Speaking of food, what
do you want to do for dinner tonight?”

“Let’s order in, whatever
you want.”

“Great, I really don’t
feel like taking Angie out to a restaurant.  If she doesn’t like the food
she’ll probably call the waiter a shithead.”

Still laughing, I say,
“Okay, pizza, Chinese, or what?”

“Make it Chinese, she’ll
eat that.  She’s not too crazy about pizza.”

“Chinese it is.  I don’t
know what you like, so would you order it?  I can eat just about anything on
the menu.”  I hand him the phone book.  “The Siam Palace is the closest.”

While he places the
order, I go check on Angie who’s watching TV in the family room and then set
the table.  When Tony gets off the phone, I’m rummaging through Grandma’s liquor
cabinet.  “Dang, I wanted a drink but there’s no Early Times, guess I’ll have
to drink this blended Canadian stuff she liked.  Yuk, it gives me headaches.”

“I brought a bottle of
Chardonnay.  Would you like to have a glass?  I’m going to have one.”

“Make it a glass or two,
a glass or three or even four,” I tell him.  We get to enjoy one glass before
the food gets here.  After dinner, I tell him that I need to turn the phones
back on in case anyone tries to call.  I turned them off when we got back from
the funeral home because I didn’t want to be disturbed while Tony and Fred were
here.  No sooner then I turn them on the ringing starts and I spend a good hour
answering calls.  By this time, its 9:00 o’clock and I’ve had it so I turn them
off again.  I get ready for bed and fall asleep thinking of my beautiful
Grandmother.

CHAPTER
35

Grandma’s funeral was
lovely, I was so happy to see a large turnout.  So many people loved her. 
After it was over and we had the celebration at Fred’s club we came back home
and Tony told me that he and Angie would like to stay for a few more days.  He
doesn’t want me to be alone. 

“It’s okay with me. 
Where are you living now?”

“We’ve got an apartment
not too far from Angie’s school.  It’s close enough that I can walk her there
and back.”

“Geez, Tony, why don’t
you guys just move back in here again?  I don’t know how long I’m going to be
here but when I go back to Eagle Valley, it would be nice to have someone I
trusted to look after the place.  You could save on rent.”

“Thanks, Libby, that’s a
great idea, let me think about it.”

A few nights later, after
he’s put Angie to bed he comes into the living room where I’m sorting through
some old magazines, and holds up a bottle of Early Times.

“Care for a drink?  I’d
like to talk with you for a while.”

“Oh, baby, you know what
I like.  Let me get some glasses and ice.”

He fixes the drinks and
we settle down on the sofa.

“God, I’ve missed you,
Libby.  I can’t believe it’s been over a year since you left.  So tell me, how
are things going up there in Washington?  Has everything turned out the way you
hoped it would?”

“Not really.  I told you
about my boyfriend Red, how he dumped me and then unexpectedly showed up
again.  We’ve been trying to work things out but I still can’t forget what he
did and fully trust him.  He wants to get married but I told him no.”

“Be careful, Libby,
you’re about to become a very wealthy woman.  The wrong choice in a husband
could be disastrous.”

“I know.  Grandma and I
talked about that.  Is that the reason you’ve never gotten married?”

“Partly, I did fall head
over heels once for this one woman, I’m sure I could trust her not to be going
after me just for the money, but she doesn’t know I feel that way about her.”

“Then you better get on
the ball and tell her.    You’re not getting any younger you know.  Angie might
like to have a little brother or sister to play with some day,” I tease.

“We really haven’t spent
that much time together.  I just can’t come out and say something like that
now.  I guess I’ll have to court her.  I’ve never really courted a woman
before; I’m not sure how to go about it.”

“Well, what kind of dates
have you been on?”

“Mostly just casual stuff
during the day.” 

“Then try something not
so casual in the evening; you know the usual, a play, concert, or the opera. 
Bring her flowers and a little gift.  Is she an outdoors person?  Can she ride
a horse?  If so, then take her on a trail ride.  There’s this one place down
near Saratoga that I’d like to go to, Garrod Farms.   They have 1 hour guided
rides through their vineyards and forests.  After the ride, you can do a wine
tasting at their winery.  If she’s not into that then if you really want to
impress her, book a flight to Long Beach or San Pedro and go to Catalina for
the afternoon.  According to the song, it’s the island of romance.  Have dinner
at some fancy restaurant, then fly back home.  Make sure she knows it’s not an
overnighter.  Don’t push the sex thing, don’t be a Bill Fitzgerald.”

“I’m still laughing over
that one.  I hope I never get on your bad side.”

“You could never be on my
bad side, Tony, never.  You’re one in a million and I’m so glad I have you in
my life.”

“Glad enough to have
another drink with me?  I’m not trying to get you drunk or anything but I’d
like another one.”

“You bet.  You mix ‘em up
and I’ll be back in a minute.”  We spend another half hour talking about Angie
and then I tell him I need to get to sleep.  Tomorrow we’ll be going to his
folks place and I’ll be spending the weekend there.  When we get up off the
couch, he puts his hands on my shoulders and kisses me on my forehead.  “Good
night, Libby, sweet dreams, I’ll see you in the morning.”

There are no sweet dreams
though, I toss, and turn, thinking over the conversation we had about the woman
he liked.   My intuition and ego is in overdrive; is it possible that he was
talking about me?

The next morning we head
for Marin County.  I’m happy to be there again.  José and Isabel welcome me
warmly and tell me that I’ll be staying in the main house tonight, not the
guest cottage.  She shows me to one of the upstairs bedrooms.  “Angie’s room is
right across the hall and Tony’s is down on the end.  Make yourself at home and
come down whenever you want.  I’ll have lunch on the table at noon.”

I hang my clothes in the
closet and lay down on the bed.  I’m so darn tired.  The stress of Grandma’s
death must be getting to me.  It isn’t long before I’m asleep.  I wake up two
hours later to Angie’s little voice,
“Libby, Libby, es hora de despertar. 
Almuerzo está listo.”
 Libby, Libby, it’s time to wake up.  Lunch is ready.

“Oh my, I can’t believe I
fell asleep like that.  Let me freshen up a bit and then I’ll be right down.”

After lunch, I ask Isabel
if I can take a walk around the property.  The fresh air will do me good, I
still feel tired.  Tony goes with me and we spend a nice afternoon together. 
After dinner, I retire early and sleep until 9:00 the next morning, waking up
still tired.  Tony takes me back home at 11:00 and asks if I want him to stay
another night.

“No, go on home.  I’ll be
okay.  I have an early appointment with the lawyers tomorrow.  Fred is coming
for me at 8:00 o’clock.”

“I’ll call you tomorrow. 
Take care of yourself.  This whole thing has been a strain on you.  Oh, and
Libby, I’ve decided that Angie and I would like to move in.  I need to give 30
days’ notice at the apartment but then I’m all yours.”  Then he’s gone and I’m
alone, already missing him.

The next morning I meet
with the lawyers.  They’re preparing to start the probate process of Grandma’s
will.   It will probably take eight months to a year before it’s finalized.
They schedule the reading of the will for Friday.  I’m going to have some tough
decisions to make once it’s final.  What will I do with the house and that
looser recording studio in Seattle?  I won’t need the house if I’m going to
live in Eagle Valley but I don’t know if I can bring myself to sell it.  I’ve
fallen in love with it and this part of San Francisco.  One worry I won’t have
is the jet.  Grandma leased it to the pilots who wanted to start a small
charter business of their own.  I’ll still own it but I won’t have access to it
whenever I want to.

I call Red every other
day and keep him updated on what I’m doing.  Right now, it looks like I’ll be
here for a while.  There’s so much to do.  He says he understands but I can
tell he’s not happy about it.