“They haunt me.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his face to hers. “Look at me,” she demanded. He gazed into her eyes, his fear an open book, chipping away, breaking him down so he couldn’t function. “It is not your fault your Mother died and you can no longer let the fear of her death keep you from going on with your life. What you are doing to yourself is coming up short of what she would expect of you. Do you realize your Mother would not want you to have those kind of thoughts?”
Jake jerked away from her and stared at the ocean waves as they slapped against the sandy beach drowning out his next words. She had to take a step closer to hear. “It’s so heavy on my shoulders baby. My Dad told me he didn’t blame me and I needed to get over the pain of blaming myself. I know it too, but it still haunts me every single day.”
“You have to forgive yourself.”
He looked at her as if she spoke in a foreign language. “That’s the problem. As long as I live, I doubt I can ever forgive myself for leaving the house and forgetting to tell my Dad she needed him.”
Maggie shook her head. “You did tell him! The moment you remembered you ran as fast as you could and told him. I doubt it would’ve made a difference.”
Jake ground his foot into the sand. He shoved hands deep in his pockets. “What if it had made a difference? She could be alive today. I won’t put your life in my hands, Maggie. She’s my Mother, but what you are to me, is my whole reason to exist. It would knock me down and I’d never get up again if I let you down.”
Maggie’s face began a slow burn. Her lip hurt when she realized she bit down hard. “What you said right now tells me I’ll never hear a proposal from you. What I hear is if we get married, we’re jinxed? Is that what you want to believe? It’s stupid and so far from the truth of you and me. We’re made for each other. You’re the one I want and I know good and well I am the one for you! So get over your fears and take a chance on the best thing that you’ll ever have!”
She didn’t realize her hands were fisted on her hips and her foot stomped the sand. “I’m going to our room and you’d do well to let me alone so I can cool down!”
Maggie McCoy was on a roll.
Chapter 7
Maggie was right. He needed to stop bringing negative thoughts to their relationship. Except she didn’t know how it felt to feel responsible for your own Mother’s death.
Jon explained the type of aneurysm that killed her already did its damage even before the moment she fell to the floor. No one at that point could save her, even though they tried. Jake believed his brother, Jon was a great doctor and did extensive research. He reassured Jake day after day but after a while, Jon even stopped talking about it to him because he was tired of Jake dwelling on such negative thoughts.
Although those negative thoughts drove him to create one of the biggest real estate development companies along the southern Florida coast and Keys. Foster, Inc was the company to rival what he created. It was an older company and Jake strived to top what they could do and he would in due time. At least those were his thoughts a few months ago, before Maggie.
All of his thoughts centered around this incredible woman who was angry and upset and stomped away to their room on one of the most exciting trips of his life. She made him feel free, of guilt, of the heavy burdens he carried. She wrapped her arms around him and the rest of the world didn’t exist. He looked out at the water again, it’s foam covered waves crashing against his feet. Jake needed to fix this. He couldn’t let Maggie get away, there was no other woman for him.
He took in the salty air in one long, drawn out deep breath. He would fix this right now. If she wanted a proposal, then that’s what he would do to keep her in his life. He wasn’t about to let her slip away.
His head became clearer with each step he took towards the hotel. Jake crossed the courtyard’s ceramic tile floor and marched up the wooden stairs, determined to make Maggie a bride before their trip was over. All she had to do was say yes and they could find a courthouse and be married in no time. It would be simple. He had to do this now before he changed his mind and let the negative energy back in.
Jake slipped through the French doors on the balcony into their hotel room. The bedroom door no longer stood open and his heart thumped against his chest. It was now or never. Determined, he strolled to the door and twisted the knob. Locked. His hand beat on the door. “Maggie. Open up, I have something I want to say.”
No response.
“Maggie, please open.” He heard a scuffle and knew when she was right on the other side. Except she wouldn’t unlock and when he tried the door it wouldn’t budge. “Baby, let me in. I love you. Let’s get married, tonight, tomorrow. I don’t care when, let’s do it so we can put this behind us and move on.”
Nothing.
He leaned his forehead on the door. “I know I messed up, bad. I’m a fool and so sorry.”
Her quiet words stilled his heart. “I want to believe you. But I don’t want to feel as if I forced a proposal out of you. No, Jake, I’m sorry too. I want to be alone tonight. I have a lot of thinking to do. Good night.”
Jake heard her move away from the door. He grabbed the knob and jerked on it. It didn’t budge. He could break in to her room if he wanted to. But she didn’t want him right now. Maybe it was better this way.
He went back out to the balcony and plopped down on a chair. Was he determined to ruin this relationship? He rocked back and forth, the slow, steady rhythm and the moonlit night soothing his soul. The far away sounds of party goers from the bar and grill drifted up towards the second floor. Jake drifted off then, his thoughts crowded with ideas on how to win back Maggie’s heart.
<><>
The shuffle of feet inside woke him up. He stretched and shook himself. Maggie came outside on the balcony, dressed and ready to go. He glanced inside and saw the set of luggage she brought up yesterday sitting by the door.
She handed him a cup of coffee and sat on the chair beside him. She rocked back and forth and sipped on her coffee, the silence of the early morning soothing his tortured soul. “I’m sorry I locked you out of the bedroom. Things don’t seem as bad in the light of the morning, do they?”
“I’m not sure how to answer baby. I’ve said too much to piss you off.” He stared straight ahead out over the balcony’s rustic railing. The sun began to lighten up the world.
Her sigh filled the air. “Oh Jake. I thought long and hard all night. I doubt I slept much at all. I’ve been pressing you to marry me-”
“I offered to marry you last night.”
She held her hand up. “I’m not even sure now why it’s so important any more. Maybe it’s because I want a family to call my own. When I saw how much you struggled with all of this, it wretched my heart out when I realized how hard your life has been. It’s not fair to force you into something you’re not ready for. I see that now.”
He took in a long, deep breath. “When we first met I told you we’d see what tomorrow brings. I thought you were okay with taking things slow. Now I realize I want more than what tomorrow brings. I want you Maggie, every single inch of you with me forever.” He closed his eyes. Would she leave him after all of this?
“Oh Jake. I feel the same way but this road trip was for us to figure out what we wanted. We’ve had such a great time. It won’t be long before we’re back home and we’re both working like demons again. I did plan this trip in the hopes you would propose to me but now I am determined that we spend more time working on our relationship before jumping into something that big. I guess it took this trip to make me aware of our true feelings.”
“What! You changed your mind again? Maggie, I do want to marry you!” He slipped to the wooden floor, a thump as his knee hit the deck. He picked up her hand and kissed the back of it.
She shook her head and smiled. “No love. Not this way. I can’t accept your proposal any more.”
Jake could not believe her. “One minute you’re dying for a proposal, next day you refuse. Do you know how hard it was for me to realize you were right all along?” He stood up and went to the railing, his hands gripping the wooden rails.
“I want to back up a bit Jake. Let’s move back to when you said to see what tomorrow brings. We’ll date more and take time off from our work. Get to know each other all over again.”
Jake pushed away from the railing. He knelt beside her, eyes direct with hers. “Maggie McCoy, I didn’t acquire a multi-million dollar company by allowing someone to toy with me. My company started from years of sacrifice and hard work. I’m not a pushover and if you think for one minute you can manipulate me, you can’t.”
She blinked at him. “I’m not trying to manipulate you. Jake, I want you to see that we are made for each other. If it takes starting all over again, let’s do it because I will never, ever stop loving you.”
Jake growled and picked her up off the rocker, coffee mug in her hand. It clattered to the floor. “You will marry me, Maggie McCoy. If it takes the rest of my life, I’ll convince you that I am ready.”
“No. I won’t marry you Jake. Not right now.”
Jake slid the French door shut, determined to love her so thorough she would cry out his name before the morning was over.
<><>
“Well?”
“It was nice.”
They were loading up the Impala and Jake closed the passenger side door. He leaned in and caught her mouth with his own. “It was more than nice, Maggie. You screamed my name so loud, I thought the people in the other room would break down the door.”
She reached up and let her hand drift over his cheek. “Maybe real nice.”
“Then you’ll marry me now?”
She shook her head and laughed. “No.”
Jake leaned in and lifted her chin. He crushed his mouth to hers, a slow, lingering kiss that made her moan against him. He pulled away. “Two can play at this game, Maggie. Dream on because that will be the last kiss you get until you tell me yes.”
Her eyes widened. “What?”
He chuckled and got in the drivers seat. “You can touch any part of my body, make love to me, crawl in my arms, but do not kiss me.”
Maggie pressed her lips together. “Impossible! You can’t make love to me without kissing me.”
“There’s the thing. I won’t make love to you. You’ll have to make love to me.”
She looked at him, incredulous. “You’re cutting yourself off from me?”
Jake about burst out in laughter at the way she stared at him. “I’m saying that I won’t make any moves toward you. You can do whatever you want to me, but I won’t kiss you until it’s the kiss we make as we seal our lives together with the promise of marriage.”
“If it weren’t so crazy, I would think that was the sweetest thing in the world.” She tapped her fingertips on the side of the car. “You’re saying I can take you whenever I want to but I can’t kiss you?”
He nodded.
“Well, we wanted to spice things up a bit. This may be your downfall Mr Hatfield. I’m not a real estate company you can toy with.”
Jake put the car in gear and laughed out loud.
<><>
Maggie joined him in laughter. She leaned back in the seat, and dreamed of ways to tease him to no end. He would be the one to beg, not her. A smile crossed her face as she gazed over at Jake as he concentrated on driving. He tried to turn the tables on her and to be honest, she didn’t know how long she could hold out without his kisses.
Meanwhile, she’d have fun with him. She reached in her purse and took out a tube of lip gloss as they pulled up to the stop sign. As she leaned over to the rear view mirror, she bumped his hand on the gear shift, then as she looked at him she ran her tongue over her lips. She raised her chin as the brush moved over the top lip and then moved over the bottom in slow strokes. Maggie peered in the mirror to see him as he watched her. She heard him take a deep breath. “How does it look?” she asked in a soft, sexy voice.
Jake chuckled. “You’re too obvious, Maggie. Not working.”
She leaned in closer. “No?” She took a finger and ran it down the side of his cheek, down his neck and over his chest. He shivered under her touch.
“Oh Maggie,” he moaned. He grabbed her by the cheeks and moved her so close to his face, within breathing distance. His warmth filled her nostrils and she couldn’t believe how easy this would be. His lips were two inches away when she began to smile in victory. All of a sudden he turned her face towards the windshield.
“Look at that, it’s a diner! Let’s get some breakfast before we get on the road.” His brow shot up and he laughed out loud.
Maggie sat back in the seat. “You got me, but it won’t be long, I promise you Jake Hatfield. You’ll be kissing me so hard, well, you know-” she let the rest of the words linger.
He crossed the highway and shot in to the diner’s parking lot, a big smile on his face. Maggie and Jake laughed during their meal and before they left, Jake noticed Danny next door at the gas station. “What’s he doing with those two?”
Maggie followed him outside, curious why the kid was hanging out with two older boys who could be in their early twenties. They got in the Impala and Jake drove it in first gear across the parking lot to the gas station. “May as well fill up and make sure the kid is all right before we head down through.”
“Good idea.” The closer they got to the three standing at the front entrance to the gas station, Maggie’s pulse became more rapid. There was something a bit strange about the two boys Danny was with. “Are those the guys who are looking for him?”